In Deep Water
by heartlandiansoisle
Summary: A tragedy is bringing a couple on the verge of separation back together. Spoilers up to 8x18, set around season 9. Warning: dark themes.
1. Chapter 1

Even if Peter Morris no longer lived under the Heartland roof, his soon-to-be ex-wife had really not noticed anything being different. The man had spent so many years traveling between place A and place B, that this weird separation phase between the decision to break up and eventually signing the papers to finalize the divorce felt the like the same old thing.

Lou Fleming-Morris did the house chores, saw her kids off to school, ran her businesses, took care of the errands, and if she was lucky, curled up on the sofa at the end of the day with a glass of red wine just to listen to the silence that was rare occurrence during days.

Even at night, things were the same, but in a more profound and sad way. The bed felt too big for one and Lou woke up seeking Peter's body to wrap herself around, only to realize that she was alone and the man was miles away in Vancouver. Lou hardly let her raw emotions come through around other people, but at nights, she cried herself to sleep and felt like disappearing completely.

But when the sun rose again, she was back to the business of running the house and looking after everyone.

"Katie, take your hobby-horse, we are gonna go outside", Lou instructed as she took two cardboard boxes with Peter's things in them with her. She was planning to store them in the Quonset hut for the time being, right next to her strawberry jam, because she didn't want them as a reminder in the house and didn't feel comfortable putting them in the attic room that now belonged to their older daughter, Georgie.

Lou put on her boots and saw that Katie was with her. The little girl was astride her hobby-horse, prancing around and mimicking hoof sounds without a care in the world.

If there was a silver lining to almost everything being like it had always been, it was the fact that Katie couldn't see much difference either. There were occasional questions about her father's whereabouts, but usually she got distracted soon enough by something and continued playing with her toys and her great-grandfather, or "GG" as she so lovingly called Jack Bartlett.

"Stay in my sight, okay?" Lou asked Katie when they headed toward the Quonset hut. She waited till she got a response, just to make sure that Katie had heard what she had told her.

"Yes, Mommy", Katie assured her as she rode around the yard, her pigtails bouncing along to the rhythm of her make-believe galloping stick horse. Lou smiled as she opened the door and worked her way into the hut. The place was in chaos and as soon as Lou set the boxes down she put her hands on her hips, and knew she could not just leave it be.

It wasn't unusual for Lou to clean up a whole house when she had something on her mind, so knowing that she was soon facing a heartbreaking divorce, it wasn't hard to guess what was going to happen to a messy hut that so desperately needed organizing.

Minutes later, she was elbows deep in the cleaning process. The boxes with Peter's things in them were still in the middle of the floor and everything else was being neatly arranged. When Jack arrived and stuck his head in the doorway and watched Lou at work, he wondered why no one had ever named a hurricane after Samantha Louise Fleming-Morris, because the way she was cleaning up the place reminded him of the said natural disaster.

"Uh… Lou?" Jack interrupted her.

"Yeah?" Lou asked, not even pausing as she was in the middle of the process and was not stopping for anything or anyone.

"I was thinking I could cook tonight, if that's okay with you", Jack suggested.

"Sure. – Does this has something to do with the fact that Lisa's coming over tonight…?" Lou had to ask.

The girls and Lou had stayed behind to live with Jack for the time being, while Amy had moved to Ty's trailer after they had gotten married late last year. Lou didn't mind Lisa being around, as she was very helpful with the kids and house chores and let Lou have a well deserved breather every once in a while.

"Maybe…" Jack smiled shyly. "Just wanted to make her favorite meal, that's all."

"It's okay, Grampa. I don't mind. It might actually be nice to get a night off for once. Besides, I'm kind of in the middle of something here, so…"

"Seems like it. – So, where's Katie? Did you leave her inside the house all by herself?" Jack asked.

"She's outside playing. Isn't she…?" Lou stopped what she was doing and turned around to face her grandfather as the fear crept up her spine and reached her neck causing it to tingle.

The old man looked over his shoulders few times and shook his head.

"I don't see her."

"What…?" Lou panicked and rushed pass Jack to get outside. She began to survey the whole yard and looking for Katie. No blonde pigtails, no pink summer dress or violet hobby-horse anywhere. There was absolutely no sign of Katie. "Oh my God… Katie!" Lou started running around aimlessly, desperately calling out her daughter's name. "Katie! Oh my God, oh my– Grampa, where is she?!" Lou brought her hands to her cheeks in horror.

"Just breathe. When was the last time you saw her?" Jack said as he tried to keep Lou calm. He was worried about the little girl too, of course, but they were no use to her if they couldn't remain reasonably calm.

"Uh, I don't know", Lou said, unable to think straight, "maybe like 15 minutes ago… It's hard to say, I was cleaning and I lost the track of time– Oh my God, Grampa, what if something's happened to her? – Katieee!" she screamed out her daughter's name again.

"She can't be far. I'll go look over there, you search that way", Jack said giving her strict orders by pointing out directions.

Lou nodded and started to run around, her eyes scanning the area behind the Quotient hut. The grass was tall, so she could clearly see a little pathway heading deeper into the meadow. Lou decided to follow the only clue that she had, all while hollering Katie's name, hoping the girl would show up soon and make her worry go away.

But when Lou saw a violet plastic stick sticking up from the pond and a small lifeless body, face down in the water, she knew why Katie had not responded to her repeated frantic calls.

She had fallen into the pond.

"Oh my God, Katie!" Lou screamed as she ran to the shore and waded out to where her daughter floated motionless in the water. She laboriously pulled the girl out from the water and saw that her face was already blue.

Katie was cold and limp in her arms when Lou gently laid her on the shore.

"Katie, can you hear me?" Lou cried as she tried to shake her carefully, hoping to see some signs of life in her small body, but it appeared like she wasn't breathing. "It's Mommy…" Lou continued as she checked her vital signs.

Now she knew that Katie wasn't breathing and there was no pulse.

"Somebody help me!" Lou cried out loudly. Her body was trembling as she carefully caressed her little girl's cold cheek. "It's okay, honey…"

Jack had heard Lou's scream and was making his way to the pond. Lou sensed the rustle of the grass and shot her teary eyes up after tilting Katie's head up.

"Grampa, call an ambulance, tell them to come right away! Please…"

"Is she…?" Jack asked when he saw Katie on the ground.

"She's not breathing…" Lou said and started to perform CPR. "Katie, come on, don't go… Please, don't die on me…" she chanted between the chest compressions.


	2. Chapter 2

With the help of emergency responder and Jack's narration, Lou tried to get the water out of Katie's lungs. But when she did as she was told, turned Katie on her side, and nothing came out, Lou decided it was better to try to open her airways and perform CPR.

"Place your fingers of both of your hands at her jaw, just below the ears, and jut the jaw forward", Jack instructed. "Make sure you don't move the neck", he pressed.

Lou followed his orders, occasionally being hesitant how to go at it, even when she had been trained for emergencies like this as she owned two businesses and it was good to know how to help out if something like this would ever happen to a customer or a staff member. Lou had passed the course with flying colors, but this moment was different, since it was her lifeless child lying on the ground.

"Is she breathing?" Jack repeated what the responder wanted him to ask. Lou checked it by pressing her ear close to Katie's mouth. Katie's chest was still and no air was coming out.

"No…" a hopeless answer came out of Lou's mouth.

"Okay, then you gotta breath for her. Can you do that, Lou?" Jack checked. He was willing to switch places if Lou was too unfocused to do this, but his granddaughter was nodding before he could even offer.

"No, I can do this", Lou told him and herself, trying to calm down. "Now I just blow, right?" she recalled.

"Yeah. Just pinch her nose and cover her mouth with yours. Make sure the jaw is still jutted", Jack said and Lou checked the position of Katie's jaw again. She tried to control her sobs as she kept telling herself she could do this, even though handling her child like this felt unnatural. "Now blow hard enough to see her chest rise. I can check that for you", the old man offered so that Lou could focus on the breaths completely. He bent down on his knees even though his knees were sore from arthritis. But no pain could compare to what could be if they would not get this right.

Lou went for it, giving her all, but being careful not to get too much air in as it could lead to further complications. Jack watched as Katie's chest rose up gently.

"It's rising…" he said so Lou knew she was doing good job. "Now, we wait."

They both glared at Katie's chest with mixed emotions for few seconds, but after her body didn't respond to the help, Lou got more worried.

"Her jaw… is it jutted right?" Lou worried with shaky voice. "I tried to do it like I've done with the dummy, but…"

"That looks good to me. There's no trash in her mouth, is there?" Jack asked.

"No. I checked", Lou said in a frustrated voice. It had been the first thing she had done.

"Just do it again, really seal that mouth with yours", Jack told her.

When Lou had repeated the 2 breaths, the responder asked them to check Katie's pulse. Jack did what he was told but he couldn't feel the heartbeat.

"Nothing…" Jack told the responder, worrying about Lou's reaction.

"Katie, come on…" Lou pleaded on the other side of Katie's body. "Wake up…" she caressed her cold cheeks.

"Lou. You gotta do CPR", Jack said, knowing it was better to have someone with more strength and stamina to do it since it was unclear how long they would have to do it. "Can you do that?"

"Ye-yeah", Lou said, nodding.

"I will be with you. You're not alone", Jack assured her and it gave Lou that final boost she needed before she placed her palms on Katie's chest.

"Elbows straight", Lou recalled again, whispering orders to herself as she started to count the chest compressions.

EMS was on their way as Lou was performing the CPR. Jack had instructed her with everything the person on the phone had said and Lou had immediately started the revival with five compressions, then continuing with two rescue breaths and 30 chest compressions.

"Come on, Katie…" Lou said as she waited for any signs of life, bringing her ear closer to observe Katie's breathing through her nose and mouth. There was still no chest movement and it made Lou's heart sink with the realization that she couldn't feel any breath on her cheek either. "Please… Katie… Don't go…" she continued with the CPR, growing more desperate.

When Lou was going for another set of compressions, Katie started coughing and her little body started to tremble as she tried to avoid choking up. Lou sighed out of a relief, almost laughing when she saw Katie move again.

"Turn her on her side!" Jack quickly advised Lou who was still in shock, even though she was somehow able to function. The woman watched as Katie spit the air and water out of her mouth and opened her tired eyes. She looked around scared as her teeth chattered from the cold.

"Oh god, Katie…"

Lou's first instinct was to wrap her in her arms, but somehow she was scared that Katie would break because she seemed so fragile in her wet summer dress.

It didn't take long for the flight medics to get to the ranch. While Lou was looking after her daughter, caressing her tangled hair and telling her everything was going to be okay, Jack waved his arms above his head, instructing the chopper to land close to them.

When the medics reached the ground, everything happened so fast that Lou had hard time keeping up. The staff took over; making sure Katie was looked after and kept warm, while Lou was asked questions about what had happened.

"We'll take her to the hospital now, to rule out any possible damage", Lou and Jack were told. Lou nodded, watching as they adjusted Katie on the stretcher. The girl seemed like she was fussing, resisting everything the medical staff was doing to her. Lou felt bad for her, as Katie had no idea what was happening, and she couldn't just watch from the side.

"Okay, I just… I need to–"

Lou found her way to Katie. After reaching her daughter, the woman tried to take an eye contact, since the girl's little body was covered with both blanket and an oxygen mask and any other kind of contact was therefore ruled out.

"Katie, honey. I need you to be good girl now. These people are here to help you, okay? Mommy will be with you. – I can go with her, right?" she then looked at the paramedic next to her.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, we can only take her. You have to come in your car."

"Are you sure?" Lou asked, but only received a nod back. "Okay then", Lou replied, even though it felt horrible to let someone take her baby girl away from her. She then looked back at Katie who was now calmer, but still confused about what had happened and what was this thing they had strapped over her nose and mouth. "I will be right behind you, honey, I swear. You will be in good hands. I love you", she leaned in to give Katie a quick kiss on her forehead. "Be a good girl for Mommy, okay? I'll see you soon."

Jack came to tear Lou away from the stretcher so she wouldn't get herself hurt from the chopper blades. They watched as the staff packed themselves and Katie into the helicopter and started ascending from the ground. The grass twirled and was mashed flat to the ground from the power of the air being forced down as the blades lifted the chopper off the ground, causing Lou to remove her hair from her face as she watched the helicopter climbing higher and higher before nosing over and heading off to the hospital.

"We better get going", Jack said. "And you should call Peter."

"Yeah. I just… I need to– I need to get Pogie", Lou was still clearly in shock, not really understanding what was happening, even though some part of her registered what had just went down. "She will need her toy horse to keep her company, to make her feel better. Right?"

Jack decided it was best for Lou to follow her motherly instinct, giving her a bit more time so that her shock would wear off more naturally.

"We'll get the toy and then be on our way, okay?"

"Yeah, okay", Lou said, nodding.

"Let's go."

The silence in the truck made everything seem twice as heavy. Katie had been awake when they had taken her, but what if there was some kind of permanent damage? How could life go on?

"I should have looked after her", Lou started blaming herself. Jack glanced at her quickly, almost startled by her voice, but tried to bring his eyes back to the road just as swiftly as they had went for her.

The old man was driving as fast as he could, daring the speed limits. He needed to get his granddaughter to the hospital safely, but he too was worried about the state of Katie and felt like they couldn't get there fast enough.

"Lou, stop that right now", Jack scolded. "Katie's been playing outside for years and nothing bad has happened before. Kids are curious; even when we've told them not to do something, they seem to forget those things quickly. How could you have known that she would go to the pond as you have told her how many times not to go near the water without you?"

"But something bad did happen now, Grandpa", Lou cried, even though there were no tears. "And if something happens to her… Oh god… I will never forgive myself."

She covered her face with her right hand, while the left hand was squeezing the life out of Pogie the toy horse.

"She's gonna be okay. Katie's a tough little girl", Jack said, trying to keep their minds optimistic. "You just let the doctors do everything they can; they know what's best for her. You brought her back, Lou. You did everything you could in a situation like that."

Lou could take no pride for the fact that her little girl could very well still be laying in her arms and not breathing, lost forever to her, because the guilty conscience about everything else was beating her down from the inside.

"What will Peter say… He will take the kids from me, I know it", Lou continued, knowing how fragile their state of separation was now.

They had been walking on egg shells these past few months as they had tried to remember to act civil around the kids, which, turns out, wasn't that easy when you were as hot tempered as they were.

Peter had wanted the girls to join him at Vancouver for the summer, but neither Lou nor Georgie had been too excited about the idea. Eventually Peter had had to admit that it was best for the girls to be at Heartland, since it was their home and Georgie had other commitments.

But now, everything could change.

Lou had not been the attentive mother she had always thought she would be and if Peter really wanted, he could play this event to his favor in order to get custody of the girls.

"Peter's not like that", Jack said as that was what he wanted to believe. "He wouldn't do that to the girls."

"I didn't think I was like that either, but this separation has made the worst come out in all of us", Lou replied. "How is he ever gonna be able to trust me again after something like this? I know I wouldn't."

No matter how she tried to spin the story, she could not justify her actions - or more like lack of - and if this would have been Peter, Lou wouldn't have been able to forgive him easily for this and would have most likely lost her trust for the man completely.

So whatever reaction Peter had, Lou felt like she deserved it.

"Lou, this doesn't help anyone. You have to focus on Katie right now", Jack said. "Blaming yourself ain't gonna do any good. – Have you called Peter yet?"

"No, not yet. I'm too scared", Lou admitted.

Even though she knew her thoughts about having the girls all to herself right now was deceiving, Lou still wasn't able to let go of this agonizing moment. As soon as she called Peter, she would be willingly handing him the upper hand and have accept the possibility of losing her family altogether.

"Well, he deserves to know. He's the father. You should call him now; get it out of the way. The longer you wait, the harder it gets", Jack said.

"I'm so scared, Grandpa. How can I tell him something like this…"Jack had sympathy for his granddaughter, but this wasn't something he could help her out of; Lou had to do it herself.

"You were scared out there by the pond too, but you did what you had to do anyway. Now you have to do this. Do it for Katie", Jack said as he gave his encouragement.

Lou nodded, unable to even watch anything but the toy horse in her hand. She then took out her cellphone and searched for Peter's name.

Her grandfather was right; the longer he waited, the bigger everything would get - Peter's reaction and her fear of it.

Lou let the phone ring and felt a lump forming in her throat. When Peter finally answered, Lou had hard time getting anything out. But she knew she had to.

"Peter… The-there's been an accident…" she stuttered.


	3. Chapter 3

Georgie pulled her cellphone from her pocket, just to check the time again. Her mother should have been here by now, to pick her from the Extreme Team rehearsals, but Georgie could not see Lou anywhere and she wouldn't even pick up her phone or return to her calls.

As she sighed, Georgie admitted to herself that her mother had a lot on her plate right now, but forgetting to pick up her own daughter made her feel like maybe she was not as important to her as the other things on her list. Lou was usually very good with organizing things and she even had a schedule on the ranch house's fridge door where she had planned their weekly routines; everything from Katie's ballet lessons to Georgie's trick riding classes and the stuff they did between. Not arriving to pick her up probably meant that Lou was stuck in Maggie's, because she would have at least called to let her know she was going to be late, after all she had dropped her off so she knew she was there Georgie thought.

When Georgie was about to send her mother another message as a reminder that she was still at the arena, waiting, her Extreme Team teacher Sandra Martin walked out of the building and noticed her still lingering around.

"Georgie. Is your mother gonna pick you up?" Sandra asked. Georgie pressed "send" and then put the cellphone away, shrugging a little as the embarrassment of her situation and that of her family, which she was sure was the cause of this encounter, set in.

She didn't like talking about Lou and Peter's situation to outsiders, even if Sandra was always very understanding with her. Georgie was somehow embarrassed that her perfect family had turned out to be not so perfect after all, as if she was somehow the bird of ill omen and had brought chaos with her to her new family.

"She must have forgotten. I guess I'm easy to forget", Georgie thought out loud.

"Come on then, I can take you home", Sandra offered, but before Georgie could move a muscle, they both saw Lisa Stillman's SUV pulling up in front of the arena. Georgie looked at the truck curiously, wondering if Lisa was here for her or for something else.

"Georgie", Lisa called as she stepped out of her vehicle. "I'm here to pick you up."

The older woman looked calm, but something about her was off and Sandra could tell it right away. Lisa avoided looking at Georgie directly, as if there was something she was hiding from her. The teacher checked to see Georgie's reaction and by the look on her face, the girl was puzzled too. Sandra hoped that whatever was going on, it was nothing serious.

"I guess you're off the hook", Georgie said as Sandra gave her an encouraging smile. "See you next time!"

"See you. Drive safely", Sandra said and waving her hand at Lisa who nodded, a forced smile on her face. Georgie went to the other side of the truck and climbed in, wondering how to even begin her rant.

"What is it? An emergency at Maggie's?" Georgie guessed when Lisa got back into the truck and buckled her seat belt. "Lou could have at least called or let me know you were picking me up. You almost drove here for nothing - Sandra was just about to give me a ride home", she went on and Lisa waited for her turn to talk.

"Georgie, honey… Something's happened", Lisa said, wondering how to break it to the girl beside her. The news wasn't easy to tell, not only because Katie was Lisa's goddaughter but also because the little girl was Georgie's sister.

"What…? Is Lou okay…?" Georgie was immediately worried. Her voice now sounded different than before, there was no bluster in it anymore. The tone reminded Lisa that Georgie was only 14 years old, despite being a veteran at handling sadness and tragedy and what was going on with Lou and Peter, she was still only a child and the fear of losing someone again weighted heavy on her.

"Yes, Lou is… fine", Lisa said, hesitating with the word only because she knew that the woman was probably a wreck right now so being fine wasn't necessarily right adjective for her to use, "it's Katie. She was in an accident."

"What?!" Georgie gasped. "Is she okay? What happened?"

Her eyes got teary, and her thoughts went from worry to fear of loss.

"She almost… drowned, and she's in the hospital now. The doctors think she's gonna be okay, but they need to be sure so she's staying there overnight", Lisa explained calmly, but with a heavy heart, taking Georgie by the hand. "I'm gonna take you home and look after you tonight."

"No", Georgie protested, jerking her hand away and shaking her head as she firmly buckled her belt, showing she was ready to go, "I wanna go to the hospital", she insisted.

"I'm gonna have to check with Lou, see how she feels about that", Lisa said, not wanting to step on Lou's toes about this. She understood Georgie's need to see Katie, but Lisa knew that the older girl also needed protection. Lisa wasn't clear on every detail concerning the accident; Jack had just called her and asked her to pick Georgie and then briefly explained what had gone down at the ranch.

"She's my sister, I have a right to see her", Georgie went on.

"Honey, I understand that, completely", Lisa assured her. "But, like I said, I need to check with Lou first. She's the one calling the shots."

"Fine, but do it fast. We are wasting time, just sitting here", Georgie spoke impatiently. Lisa nodded and fished her phone out of her purse. She didn't feel comfortable talking in Georgie's presence, but she didn't feel like stepping out either.

At the hospital, Lou sat by Katie's bed, watching her daughter, as she was hooked up to all the machines. The little girl was now fully conscious and looked around the room, seemingly curious about everything. She had already gotten used to the oxygen mask by now and it helped with her blood circulation, even though for Lou it was only a reminder about her bad parenting.

"Mommy, why do I have this on?" Katie asked, lifting her hand showing Lou the pulse oximetry clip on her finger. Lou looked at it and wondered what she could say. Worrying more than her daughter, as she kept wondering about the results the doctors would soon have for her. She didn't know how to explain everything to Katie because she herself couldn't concentrate well enough to think straight.

"Well… it measures the oxygen in your blood."

"There's oxygen in my blood? Why? Why isn't there blood in the blood?"

"Of course there is blood in the blood. It's kind of hard to explain, but… blood delivers oxygen to your cells", Lou told Katie as she tried to come up with an easier explanation for the five-year-old. "Kind of like… you need to feed yourself so you'd have energy to do things. Your body needs needs oxygen for your body to use the food to give you energy. That's why you have that mask on too."

"When can I take it off?" Katie questioned Lou. "It feels kind of funny.""As soon as the doctors are pleased with the amount of oxygen in your blood", Lou said. She could feel her phone vibrating in her pocket. She took it out, feeling sick just thinking about picking it up because she could hardly stand the idea of any more stimulation or distraction.

Lisa's name was written on her screen and Lou wondered if she had picked Georgie up already. Lou felt bad for ignoring Georgie's texts and calls, but she had not wanted to tell her about this over the phone. Jack had informed her earlier that he had called Lisa and asked her to take care of Georgie, so Lou would have one less thing to worry about.

"Mommy has to get this. Just rest with Pogie, okay?" Lou requested and made sure the toy horse was carefully placed under Katie's arm. The little girl nodded, holding onto it tighter, as Lou got up and turned away. "Lisa", she said as she then answered her phone. "Is everything okay?"

 _"Yeah, yeah, everything's fine, don't worry. I just picked Georgie from her rehearsals and she was wondering if she could come see Katie. I didn't want to say anything until I had your blessing. In case… things are bad there",_ Lisa said, even though she felt awkward saying it in Georgie's presence.

"Katie's stable now", Lou told Lisa and she could then hear a sigh of relief from the other end. "I guess you could visit, but only for a while, Katie really needs to rest."

 _"Absolutely. We won't be long. I just think maybe it's best for Georgie to see what's going on so she doesn't have to worry. Right?"_

"Yeah, right. Sounds reasonable enough", Lou replied. She was going with what Lisa was saying because she just couldn't trust herself at all right now. Even Lisa, who had never had kids, was better at this than she was, Lou thought to herself.

 _"Okay, so I'll see you in a bit then",_ Lisa replied.

"Yeah. We'll be here. See you soon. Bye."

 _"Bye."_

"Who were you talking to? Was that Daddy? Is Daddy coming home?" Katie asked. Lou put her phone away and felt worse when Katie brought up Peter.

"That wasn't Daddy, but he is coming to see you as soon as he can", Lou said.

She knew she was supposed to feel good about Peter being present, because he hardly ever was these days, but Lou just couldn't help but worrying as she thought about him being here and the fight they were most likely going to have over the girls.

The worst part was over - Katie was fine -, but Lou knew that there was not going to be any rest for the wicked.


	4. Chapter 4

"And can you send the file about the Hodgkin's contract to my office, please? I need to take a look at it before the meeting", Peter talked to his assistant as they were walking through the corridors of Peter's workplace after a lunch with another client. "Oh, and can you cancel that dentist appointment I had tomorrow, I don't think I can make it." His assistant, Helen, wrote everything down and kept nodding along his requests.

"Absolutely, Mr. Morris", she assured. "Anything else?"

Before Peter could reply, he was surprised by the ring tone on his cellphone as it was Lou's. He picked his phone from his pocket and checked the caller ID, seeing Lou's name on the screen. They rarely talked these days unless it was about the girls, so this was probably about them too, which was why Peter figured he should take the call.

"No, I think that's all. Thanks, Helen", Peter said, smiling, and when Helen was on her way to her desk, Peter answered his phone.

"Hey, Lou. What's up?" he said casually, not having the slightest clue that his world was about to turned upside down due to Lou's reply.

 _"Peter… The-there's been an accident…"_ Lou's voice from the other end said. It was hard to hear her, because there was a humming of a truck at the background and Lou's voice was uncharacteristically weak.

"What…? Lou, what kind of accident?" Peter said in shock, while million scenarios ran through his head. How serious of an accident? To whom had it happened?

 _"It's Katie. She…"_ Lou tried her best to answer, _"she almost drowned."_

"Oh my God… Is she… okay?" Peter was afraid to ask, but he had to know. Almost, as in "not drowned", but still, it couldn't be good, he thought to himself while waiting for his wife to reply.

 _"She's in a hospital, she's conscious, but they– they don't know if there's been any permanent damage",_ she laid everything on the table, figuring that it was best to be honest from the start.

If this separation had taught Lou anything, it was that they could no longer build what was left of their relationship on top of lies and deceit. They had to think about the girls now, not only themselves and their own agendas, and to take care of Katie and Georgie, Lou and Peter had to be honest with one another, no matter how bad things were. If they kept lying and hiding things, things could only get worse - and that wasn't what any of them wanted.

"How–how did this happen?" Peter asked, rushing to his office so he could book the next flight to Calgary. In his mind, he already listed what needed to be done before he could take off. Peter knew that he needed to see his little girl, no matter what it would cost him in the end.

 _"We were out… I was cleaning the Quonset hut and… she just…"_ Lou's hopeless voice kept explaining, _"I didn't pay attention to her for a while and she just… escaped from me and… she went to the pond and– I'm so sorry, Peter."_

"What? You let her wander on her own? You should never let her out of your sight like that. This is exactly what we keep telling Georgie whenever she's babysitting - you should have known better than that", Peter was angry at his wife.

 _"I know, I know, believe me I know, I've been yelling at myself ever since",_ Lou said. _"I can't believe I let this happen… I was so consumed by my own worries that I…"_ her words trailed off. She seemed to be very upset, but Peter still couldn't help being angry and in shock.

"We'll talk about this more when I get there", Peter promised surly, "but now I gotta get to Calgary. So she's in a hospital? Should I come there?"

 _"Yeah, I think that would be the best. I let you know if things change",_ Lou replied humbly. _"I'm so sorry, Peter…"_

"It's not only me you should apologize to for…" Peter said. "If this hurts Katie, you're the one responsible…" he reminded Lou.

 _"I know. I take full responsibility",_ Lou answered.

"I'll let you know when my flight arrives. See you then", Peter replied, trying to hold his temper. He didn't want to lose it here at his office, not around the people that he was supposed to impress with his professionalism. He had come a long way from that kid who got upset and beat up on bullies if they irritated him. Exploding now because of his suffocating anger was not an option.

Peter sat in his seat on the air plane, staring out the window and leaning on his right hand while rubbing his bare chin with his fingers he was lost in thought. He saw the airport staff running around, packing the cargo inside the plane, there were other planes somewhere in the horizon, taking off as soon as they were ready for a lift off for some unknown destination. He had seen this million times and knew the routine by heart, so travelling back between Vancouver and Calgary had started to feel like a second nature to him by now.

But this time he was anxious. He couldn't use this time between cities as a moment of relaxation between his job and the loud married life with the kids. What he did instead was he replayed the phone call in his head, thinking about the possible consequences of the incident and imagining the accident itself, then closing his eyes when he couldn't handle seeing his baby girl hurt like that anymore, even if it was only a level of imagination.

"Thank God", he heard a woman's voice say, and he had to open his eyes to see what was going on.

A beautiful blonde woman was putting her hand luggage up in the overhead bin and then closed the door, all while eyeing him. Peter looked around, wondering what he was missing.

"I was afraid I was going to be sitting next to some disgusting and smelly guy, but no, I lucked out with you", she smiled charmingly. Peter wasn't sure how to respond to her chattiness, so he just smiled coyly and nodded. The woman took a seat next to him and buckled her seat belt and after getting comfortable said. "Business or pleasure?"

"I'm sorry?" Peter asked, not fully there mentally.

"Are you travelling for business or for pleasure?" she repeated.

"Uh, I guess neither. I'm going to see my family", Peter explained, not feeling like chatting nor did he feel like telling the woman to leave him alone either.

"Oh, that's nice", the woman said with a smile. "Shouldn't that be for pleasure then…?"

"Well, I guess more for pleasure than for business, but…" Peter said, taking a while to wonder if he was really going to let this stranger in on his plans. She was just someone he would never meet again, so would it even matter if he had her sympathy? Did he even want any sympathy? "It's just a difficult situation, you know", he explained.

"Oh no, I hope it's not a funeral", the woman said a worried look on her face, not fully sure what to make of Peter's reply.

"Hopefully not…" Peter murmured, stopping himself from imagining such a thing.

"So how close is this family? Your siblings? Parents? Grandparents?" the woman took guesses, taking full advantage of her new company.

"Actually, my wife and our two daughters", Peter answered.

"Oh…" The woman took another look at the man's left arm resting next to him, dropping her flirting immediately. "I thought… since I didn't see a ring", she continued, looking a little disappointed, making Peter pull his left hand back, rubbing the place where his ring used to be.

"Well, we are separated actually", Peter explained, wondering if he was getting too comfortable with this stranger. But like he thought, he was never going to see her again anyway, so what the heck. Besides he needed something other than the thoughts of Katie to concentrate on. "And I've just been trying to get used to how it would feel like to be without the ring so that… when I finally have to remove it, it won't as much of a shock, I guess."

"Yeah, I guess I can understand that", the woman said sympathetically. "And I'm really sorry to hear that."

"Thanks", Peter nodded.

He had hardly let anyone know about his marriage situation, outside a few people at the office and his side of the family, so whenever it came up, it still felt strange to him. Peter figured that since he and Lou had almost lived separately for years now, it wouldn't be a shock to anyone at this point that they were doing it officially now, but since there were young children involved too, everyone always asked if they had really tried their best.

But it was hard to explain to anyone why their marriage wasn't working out, even if they had the girls.

And now, things seemed to have taken another unfortunate turn.

Peter had been okay leaving the girls live at Heartland with Lou, because that was what made Georgie happy and probably Katie too, even if she was too young to really know what was happening, but this accident put things into a new perspective.

In the past, there had only been one time when the girls had gotten hurt and that was when Georgie had been under her aunt's supervision while trick-riding with her horse Checkers. Usually Lou was really strict about these things and had become even more strict after Georgie's accident with Checkers, because she neurotically thought out every dangerous scenario that could happen if the girls did anything remotely dangerous, so how could have this happened to Katie? Lou had said something about "being distracted", which didn't sound good at all; if she was distracted, what kind of environment would that be for the kids who still needed adult supervision?

Lou knew what dangers that hid in the ranch yard, especially if Katie would ever get close to the pond. The girl had not had much practice in swimming yet and that was something Peter would have wanted to teach her this summer, had Georgie and Katie come to Vancouver with him.

This was definitely a setback to their arrangements. Could Peter trust the girls with Lou anymore? He knew that there were other people at the ranch too, but at the end of the day, Katie and Georgie were Lou's responsibility. She was their mother. And if she had something more important to do than look after them, then her argument about Peter not having a babysitter with them throughout the summer was not any different than it would be with her having the other family members looking after the girls.

Lou had promised to take care of them and now she had failed


	5. Chapter 5

When the room door opened and Georgie entered in, the serenity that Lou had tried to create for her younger daughter, Katie, was gone in an instant. The liveliness of a teenager was like a hurricane that couldn't be stopped.

"Oh my god, Katie!" Georgie said as soon as she saw her little sister. The worry she had traveled with all the way from the arena disappeared like someone had taken a weight from her shoulders.

"Georgie!" Katie's face lit up when she saw that she had more visitors. "And Lisa!"

Whatever feelings Lou worried Katie might have had, were now replaced with an excitement and carefree attitude. Children were quick to recover, they said, and right now Lou really wanted to believe it too. She would have to learn to live with what had happened, but she didn't want it to overshadow Katie's childhood - or life altogether.

The godmother followed Georgie's hurried steps with a kind smile on her face, feeling relief as soon as she saw that the little girl seemed like her usual self, despite being in a hospital bed and not running around like she often did.

"Hey, honey", Lou greeted Georgie and pulling herself away from the bedside to give her other daughter a sideways hug. Georgie wrapped her arm around Lou loosely, just to drop it so she could continue to the bed to talk to her sister.

Jack could tell from the look on Lou's face that she would have welcomed a longer embrace from Georgie right now to make her feel at least somewhat better, but when she didn't get it, she felt even worse than she had seconds ago.

Luckily for her, Lisa was a big hugger and she saw an opportunity to give Lou a long, comforting hug.

"Hey…" Lisa said when they had their arms around each other. "I'm so sorry for what happened." A voice inside Lou fought against what she felt Lisa was saying. It was not like it had just happened randomly, it was all her fault. But the lump in her throat stopped her from saying it out loud and maybe some part of her didn't want to bring it up in Katie's presence, so she just stayed quiet, welcoming the embrace she had longed for ever since Katie had went missing. "But I'm glad to see she's doing so well."

"Yeah…" Lou said with a cracked voice, quickly eyeing Katie. "She's quite a little soldier", she admitted with a shy smile.

Lisa's arms loosened and they slid from around her, still staying by Lou's side, figuring the woman really needed support now even though it had been Katie that had gone underwater.

But it had not just happened to her, it had happened to all of them. Lisa knew Lou well enough to know that she knew exactly how bad things could have been and she didn't need anyone to lecture her about it. Little kids were unpredictable, they didn't understand the dangers that lurked everywhere, and no matter how much you tried, sometimes they just slipped away from your watchful eye. Lisa was aware Lou was one of the most protective moms she knew and she was already being hard on herself, even though accidents were hard to predict even for people like her who were prepared for almost everything.

Lou's eyes took it all in, Georgie talking to Katie, Jack and Lisa standing by her side, but it was like it never really reached her brain what was happening now. Her mind kept going back to that time at the pond, reliving it over and over again, like it was a scene of a movie. She kept thinking about everything she had done and how changing something could have made all the difference.

After a while she was no longer sure what exactly had happened and what she had made up in her head. It was like nothing that had happened before that or after that stuck, as if only that one moment mattered to her and would matter to anyone else, because that incident would be important part to how people would continue to see her from this moment on.

"Thanks for picking up Georgie", Lou said to Lisa as they looked at the sisters talking and goofing around with Pogie.

Georgie had just swooped in and taken over the situation, and Katie went along with her. The little girl looked up to her sister and wanted to do and be everything she was. This kind of distraction would be exactly what Katie needed to bounce back from all of this. Even though she was in a hospital, Georgie could make Katie feel right at home here too.

"Of course, don't mention it. It's the least I could do. You have so much going on right now, and no one expects you to do everything", Lisa assured her making Lou feel a bit better.

She had been dreading Peter's reaction all day and now having someone like Lisa here, calming her down, making her feel better, messed all that up - in a good way. She appreciated Lisa's empathy, but didn't want to be lulled into this feeling of false sense of security when she knew that Peter might not see it all like Lisa did.

"You want me to take her home too?" Lisa asked.

"We'll see. Peter should be here soon, so I am sure he will want to see both girls. And then maybe he will want to take her home or he might want to stay here, so if it is okay I'd like to wait. I know we can't all stay here and I've been here since they brought her, so he might want to take it from here..."

Lou's thoughts were running wild now as she began to think again about Peter's reaction, and from the call and his voice she feared the worst. Lou knew that when Peter got mad, he really went for it. He had never gotten violent with her or the girls, and Lou didn't want to believe that they would see that from him now either, but he could still drag her down just by using his words. Lou wasn't stupid, she had always been good defending herself, but now she wasn't even sure if she deserved to be defended by anyone, maybe even more so herself. How could she even answer him about what had happened. Especially when she had all but refused to let him have the girls over the summer because she did not think he would be there to take care of them.

Jack on the other hand could see that some part of Lou was still in shock and not fully capable of handling what had happened.

"Maybe when he arrives, it's something you should talk over. You know, just the two of you. We can look after the girls meanwhile", Jack took part in the conversation he had only been part of by listening up until that point. Lisa glanced at him and nodded, thinking it was a reasonable arrangement. Something about Jack face let her know that he was worried how things would go down with Lou and Peter. Not only were they separating and experiencing awkwardness because of that, but their daughter's accident would only add to the stress they both were already experiencing on their own.

"Sounds good to me", Lisa said, hoping Lou would agree. She figured the mother probably didn't feel like leaving Katie's side, but this was not something they should talk about in the girls' presence. Lou might have tried to fool everyone by being okay enough to take care of everyone and everything, but right now it seemed like it was a good place for Jack and Lisa to take over some of her responsibilities and take care of her too. "Don't you worry", the older woman added when Lou's mouth opened and it looked like she was about to refuse the offer.

"Okay…" Lou finally said, uncharacteristically doing something she rarely let people do: to take over.


	6. Chapter 6

Amy slammed shut the door of Ty's truck. Her eyes were fixed on the ranch house and, even more so, the empty yard. She walked toward the barn like she was in some sort of trance, and Ty couldn't help but notice his wife's weird behavior.

"What is it?" Ty asked wondering what had caused the change in Amy's mood. Amy knew these grounds better than he did, despite the fact that he had once been a resident of this ranch too. But since moving to the trailer, he had distanced himself from the things that were part of the everyday life for the rest of the family. He no longer noticed little changes sometimes until weeks after - if even then. But Amy knew this place like the back of her hand and anything that was out of place would catch her eye.

"That's strange..." Amy murmured.

"What is?"

"The house seems... empty. Grandpa's truck is not here and the barn door is closed. It's as if there isn't anyone here", Amy gave her analysis. Ty looked around, and now that Amy had mentioned it, it did indeed seem like there was no one here.

"We could go and check the house", Ty suggested.

The reason why they were at Heartland was the finishing touches of the loft. It was in the final stages of becoming a home for the young married couple, so Ty and Amy visited the ranch every day, giving the walls a new coat of paint or putting the moldings in place. Their base camp was still at Ty's trailer even though they had already been able to spend some nights in the loft without many luxuries.

"Yeah, okay", Amy agreed, turning away from the barn door. The loft could wait for a little while. She just had to know what was happening.

As they were walking toward the ranch house, Amy tried to remember the last time the property had been empty. It had to be years ago. Usually there was at least somebody to make sure the horses were looked after or the guests at the Dude Ranch were entertained. Most of their lives were tied to these 600 acres and since there were so many of them living on it, it was usually occupied by someone.

Even though the front door wasn't locked, it wasn't any type of giveaway. The people here hardly ever locked their doors because the trust in the community was there.

But when the lights were off and hollering names didn't make any difference, Amy and Ty had to admit that she had been right. The house was empty.

"That's weird. There's no note or anything", Amy said after checking the table and fridge door. The mystery of the empty house was clearly bothering her, so Ty walked in front of her, crowding closer. She kept staring ahead, but it was like she wasn't even there. When Ty's attempts of an eye contact were denied, he wrapped his arms around Amy to get her attention.

"I'm sure it's nothing - if it was they would have let us know, right? Who knows what happens around here these days. Jack, Lou and the girls have their own lives", Ty said, shrugging it off and giving Amy a peck on the lips. Amy tried to shake the feeling off, but she couldn't. "Besides, wasn't this what you wanted? Get some distance to build your own life?"

"Well, yeah, but..." Amy said as she laid her fists against Ty's chest seeking comfort, "does that make me selfish? I mean, this is our family, after all."

"No, it makes you independent", Ty corrected. "I know it's hard for you because you've been living so closely with them for years, known everything that goes around here and you've barely been apart, but this is an important part of your life. You and I are a family now and we need that space for just the two of us. That's why you moved to the trailer with me and that's why we are renovating that loft, right?" he spoke softly, reminding Amy what they had talked about so many times before. It wasn't like moving out had been easy for Amy, but she had assured him that it was what she wanted and what they, as a newlyweds, needed. So far everything had gone swimmingly.

"Yeah, you're right", Amy said, nodding, regaining back her confidence in herself and in them, "you're absolutely right", she continued and gave Ty a kiss as a sign of gratitude. "Though, I don't know how much more independent we can be if we are just living across the yard..."

They chuckled at the thought.

"Well yeah, I guess we could move other side of the world, but it just wouldn't feel right, would it?" Ty said. He knew the living arrangements had their challenges, but at the end of the day, Ty felt like no matter how far away they lived, the rest of the family would always find their way into their life. If they didn't, well, it just wouldn't feel right either. "So you wanna get out there in the loft to finish what we've started?"

"Yeah, just a minute", Amy said, sliding her arms down and pulling her cellphone out of her pocket. "I'm just gonna give Lou a call, if that's alright."

"If that helps you to feel better, go ahead. I might as well use the bathroom while you call", Ty decided, giving Amy a quick kiss before he left. Amy waited for the phone to ring and it took a while before Lou answered.

 _"Amy."_

"Hey, Lou. Ty and I are at Heartland and it seems like... no one's here", Amy said, not sure how to put it. "Just checking... where are you guys?" she asked, walking in front of the calendar. There was a mention of Georgie's trick riding lessons, but that had been hours ago and if Lou had pick her up, they should have been home by now - unless they had had other plans. But that still didn't explain where Grandpa was. The family usually had dinner cooking around this time and Jack was always on time for that, being the routine lover that he was.

 _"Oh, god, Amy... I totally forgot to call you guys",_ Lou said. Amy could hear her letting out a long sigh. There was something strange, almost fragile, in Lou's voice. _"Things just got so hectic and it happened so fast and I..."_

"What's going on...?" Amy asked carefully. So something _had_ happened. She had not wanted to be right about this...

By the time Lou was giving her an answer, Ty was back from the bathroom, just in time to witness the look on Amy's horrified face.

"Amy, what is it...?" Ty asked, wondering what Amy was hearing.

"Katie's been in an accident", Amy lipped him a silent answer, while she was simultaneously listening to Lou's explanation.

"What...? Is she okay?"

"She's in a hospital. She's gonna be okay, they say", Amy reported as soon as Lou let her know too. She then brought her mouth back to the speaker. "Is there anything you want us to do?" Amy asked of her sister. "Yeah, okay. - Let us know if there's anything else. Take care of yourself. Okay. Bye."

After hanging up, Amy put her phone away, but didn't say anything. She didn't know what to say. She still didn't know the details of the accident and had not wanted to bother Lou, as she had been obviously very upset, so Amy had no way of handling this unsettling feeling she suddenly had in her.

"Come here", Ty said, wrapping his arms around Amy. He couldn't stand see his wife so upset. When she didn't know what to do or request, Ty always knew his loving arms were a good place to start figuring that out.


	7. Chapter 7

Peter had not had to wait for his luggage as he only had a carry-on with him since he had packed light so as to not be slowed down waiting on his things. He walked out of the terminal and flagged down a taxi and told the driver he needed to go to the hospital.

As they pulled up in front of the hospital, he looked at the meter and paid the driver, telling him to keep the change before he rushed into the hospital and up to the information desk.

Now it all started to feel more real, even though it still made no sense to him. _How could his little girl be here? How could have this have happened?_

"Hey. I'm here to see Katie Fleming-Morris", Peter told the nurse who looked at him, quickly trying to get some kind of sense of his character to know who he might be.

"Are you family?" the nurse asked when she had approved of him based on her instincts and the first impression he gave out.

"I'm her father, Peter Morris."

"Let me see", the nurse asked him to wait a second so she could check and see if this girl had been admitted. What might have been just few seconds, felt longer for Peter and he was tapping the counter impatiently with his fingers as he waited. "Okay, yes, she's here. In the room 304, down that hall, take the elevator on the left and to the third floor", she gave him instructions.

"Okay. Thank you", Peter said and started to walk in the direction the nurse had just pointed out. He kept his steps controlled, even though it was evident he was rushing somewhere and whatever he needed to do was urgent.

The numbers flashed by until he finally reached the third floor and then the door of room 304 was there before him, peeking in from the crack as the door had been left ajar.

Peter could hear people talking inside the room and after trying to make out what they were saying, he recognized Lou's voice while she was talking to someone. Not wanting to interrupt anything just by going in, Peter knocked on the door.

The talking stopped, so he took it as a sign to enter.

Before Peter could really take a look to see who was in the room, Katie's squeal pierced the silence as the little girl noticed her usually absent father.

"Daddyyyyy!"

Even though Peter was worried, his face lit up spontaneously from the care-free sound of his daughter. No one close to dying could have made that sound, and fortunately Katie didn't even look like she had even been near the grim reaper just recently.

"Heyy, Katie-Kat!" Peter immediately said back, feeling his eyes beginning to water, he couldn't believe Katie was doing so well. Most of his fears faded away as he believed that it was a good sign to see her so lively.

From the sound of Lou's phone call, the accident had sounded really serious and without a doubt it had been, but the medical team had definitely done incredible job with helping the little girl as she looked exactly like she always did with her twinkling bright blue eyes and round rosy cheeks. If she had not been on the hospital bed, hooked up in machines, it would have been impossible to tell that something had even happened.

Peter dropped his holdall and came to give his daughter a careful hug, feeling choked up about how small and vulnerable she felt and looked. He had to be careful with how he touched Katie, as there were wires and an oxygen masks on her and he really didn't want to mess that up and risk her recovery.

"How are you feeling, honey?" Peter asked then, caressing Katie's damp pigtails. Noticing the traces of water in her hair, he had to try his hardest not to let his emotions show, as he thought about what Katie had been through and didn't want her to worry.

"I'm just tired. Can we go home now? I wanna go home", Katie pleaded.

Peter turned his upper body and looked toward Lou to check if she had any information about that. The woman shook her head.

"Tomorrow, sweetie", Lou said to her. "I told you earlier, remember?"

"But Daddy's here", Katie tried.

"I know, but… it's doctor's orders", Lou reminded her.

"Have they said anything?" Peter asked as he then walked up to Lou, Jack and Lisa. He looked more serious now; letting the worry about the reason why she could not go home now show on his face. Where there possible damages the accident could have done? What was he not being told?

Seeing the look on Peters face Lou tried to answer what she knew Peter was thinking.

"They're trying to get her oxygen levels up", Lou said, not entirely sure how the medical terms went, but that was all she could remember from the talk she had had with the doctor earlier. "That's their main focus right now. Everything else seems fine, her body temperature and eyes and… everything", she waffled on, her mind elsewhere.

"Okay", Peter said, nodding. "Does Georgie know?"

"She's actually here, she's getting something to eat. Lisa picked her up from practice", Lou replied. Peter nodded to the older woman as a way to say thank you. Lisa smiled, looking like it had been the least she could have done. "I was hoping we could have a talk…" Lou said fearfully, feeling like she could no longer avoid the inevitable.

"Yeah, we should talk", Peter agreed.

"Can you guys look after Katie?" Lou then asked from Jack and Lisa.

"Absolutely", Lisa assured. "You two go and talk."

"Thank you", Lou said, giving Lisa a quick hug. "We'll be right back, baby", she said to Katie who was staring at the adults from the bed and listening to her own breath as it echoed inside the mask.

"Peter…" Jack wanted to have his attention before he slipped from them. He placed his hand on Lou's husband's shoulder to get the connection he needed for this. "I know you're upset, but just remember; Lou didn't do this on purpose and Katie is doing fine", he spoke in a low voice, making sure he had Peter's glance locked with his. Words could only do so much, Jack thought, but conjuring his sense of empathy through eyes could make up for the rest.

Peter just nodded, taking it into consideration. It was not like he didn't know that already, but it coming from someone else, Jack was probably hoping in some way to make the situation easier for Lou - not that she would have ever asked Jack to do that for her. It was clearly Jack's own call, and as a father, Peter could understand that. After being married to Lou for over five years, Peter knew that Lou loved their children more than she loved anything else in the world, so Peter had no doubt that this had been a horrible experience for her too and she was truly sorry, but that wasn't really what Peter wanted to talk about.

Lou waited at the door for Peter as she saw Jack speaking to him. When they were done, Peter stepped out with her and they found a place to talk so that they wouldn't be heard or disturbed.

"I know what you're thinking, and I'm so sorry", Lou started with the apologies and Peter just inhaled deeply, waiting for Lou to get her hysteria out of the way before he said anything. "I should have been more careful…"

"Damn right you should have been more careful", interjected a now impatient Peter. "And I get that you're sorry, I get it, so no more of that", Peter said so that Lou would stop beating herself up and he wouldn't have to hear another "sorry" from her. "What I want to know is how could have this happened? Why was Katie by the pond - _alone_?"

"I was cleaning the Quonset hut and I was distracted. I told her to play where I could see her, but she…" Lou's voice trailed off as she couldn't go through that again. She placed her hands over her heart when the emotional pain got too much.

"Went there by herself?" Peter guessed what Lou was trying to say. She nodded. "Lou, you should never let her out of your sight like that. That is what we keep telling Georgie all the time if she's babysitting! There are a million dangers lurking out there and she's too young to understand that!"

"I know, I was distracted. I know it's not an excuse and I'm not making any excuses, but that's how it happened", Lou said tearfully. "Oh god, Peter…" her voice got more strained as she started crying. "What if she will be traumatized for life?"

"She seemed okay…" said a reasoning Peter, trying to bring some calm to the situation. Lou was usually the emotional one in situations like this and Peter was the one who tried to stay calm, moving on while trying to find a solution. "Not that I think that this was okay and not a big deal, but.. we got lucky."

"Yeah…" Lou agreed, sniffling.

"So they said they are keeping her overnight?" Peter asked again. Lou nodded. "I'm gonna stay here with her. You go home and get some rest." Lou looked like she could use some.

"Are you sure…?" Lou asked as she wiped her runny nose on the side of her hand. Peter saw it and dug out his hankie for her from his pocket.

"Here, use this", he offered.

"Thank you…" Lou said as she accepted it.

"And yes, I'm sure. I think maybe it's better for me to take it from here for now", Peter requested, wanting to have more control than he usually did. He was still having trouble trusting Lou after all this and while they would hopefully solve that issue, he was going take charge.


	8. Chapter 8

"Here", Lou said, handing the hankie back to Peter, somehow feeling she was ashamed by her outburst of emotions in contrast to Peter acting so calm, as if it was how people were supposed to act in a situation like this.

"No, keep it. I got plenty of those", Peter said, waving his hand as a sign of refusal. When he did, his hand caught Lou's eye, or more like his ring finger, and for a while it made her wonder if she was starting to lose it, because his hand looked like so many other hands did, but something was definitely off.

Eventually it hit her.

Peter was not wearing his wedding band anymore.

The realization made Lou feel insecure about herself, because she was still holding onto her own rings.

Had Peter already gave up on them and was she a fool to not to as well?

Maybe it was the another level of hurt she was just starting to face from Peter's side that made Lou react the way she did, but she was suddenly ready to fight just as they were about to head back to the room.

"So… is this how it's going to be then? You think you're making the decisions from now on?" she exclaimed, making Peter stop and turn around to face Lou when he sensed that this wasn't something they could solve by one simple reply. It was the root of their problems really, always had been. There had always been a constant battle over who was in charge and how things would be handled. From the look on Lou's face Peter could tell that this was not going to end well.

"Maybe. We've been doing things your way for a while now, haven't we?" he said, a bitter tone in his voice. He had been holding it in but now Peter felt as if he needed to get some things off his chest.

"No, we haven't. It's been about the girls and what best for them", Lou fired back, offended about what Peter was implying.

It was true she liked to be in control, but ever since they had agreed about the separation, Lou had felt like they had tried to put the kids first, and their personal needs would always come second.

But it now looked like Peter was feeling differently.

"I just think you had your chance", Peter offered, trying to make his point, making Lou furrow her brow.

"Wait - so, this is like some kind of game to you?" a now very annoyed Lou asked. "When one of us screws up, the other one gets their turn? Just using the girls as tools in some kind of power struggle?"

"Well I wasn't the one who didn't look after our child and nearly let her drown, was I?" Peter said, trying to keep his voice low even when the irritation was starting to take over. "I just think it's better for me to take over while you think about what has happened."

"What kind of person do you take me for? You don't think I haven't thought about what has happened !? Ever since I noticed Katie was missing, I've been thinking about what could have happened and I will never not be able not to think about that", Lou said, angry at Peter for thinking she was incompetent. This wasn't just about her abilities as a mother, but about her as a person.

"Exactly. You're obviously upset, so maybe you're not offering a best environment for Katie and Georgie right now", Peter suggested.

"Are you freaking kidding me? You're blaming me for being upset? Well, I'm sorry, Mr. I-Never-Show-My-Emotions, but I think I have a right to be upset because our child could have died and she's still in a hospital, waiting to get better", Lou could care less if she was being loud now. She couldn't just let Peter walk all over her like this.

"And whose fault is that?" Peter asked and walked threateningly toward Lou, stopping right before her, hoping to make her intimidated. Lou took a step back, realizing she had never seen Peter acting like this. "When we talked about the girls' living arrangements, I offered to have a full-time nanny for them, but you told you had this under control and I believed you. So excuse me for being doubtful of your abilities of handling this because you let Katie wander around alone to the pond where she almost drowned, Lou!"

"I've been looking after Georgie and Katie for years and not once has anything like this happened. This isn't some kind of proof of my abilities to be a parent, even if I know that right now I have disappointed everyone involved! What have you ever done besides disappoint? You've always been away, you don't know how hard I've worked to make things work for all of us, even for you!" Lou spit out her frustrations that had been piling up for years. She had tried to keep calm, but Peter was so ungrateful for everything she had done for their family and their relationship that she no longer cared and let it all out.

"So maybe it's time I do then!" Peter answered Lou's shouting. It was once again one of those fights where it seemed like the one that screamed the loudest was the winner. "After this is all over, I'm taking the girls to Vancouver."

"What…? But we agreed–" Lou's voice cracked.

Peter took a deep breath regaining his composure and calmly said to Lou: "Yes, the situation has changed, and I think it is time we changed some things to see if we can make this work better for all of us. You seem to think that I don't need the children just because I am the father. I love and care for them every bit as much as you do, so maybe I can offer them the safety and protection you seem to be unable to."

The under lying anger and frustration were very apparent to Lou in the body posture that Peter had taken.

"But what about… what the girls think? Georgie's school, Katie's kindergarten…?" Lou gave him the obvious reasons why the arrangement Peter was talking about couldn't work.

"Well, Sylvia is a licensed teacher, she can tutor Georgie. And Katie can be at home, she doesn't need kindergarten", Peter was making up the solutions as he went. Lou was threatened by Peter's proposal, because even though she didn't like the sound of them, she knew that if Peter could figure these things out, he could get the girls too.

"Sylvia…? How old is she? I thought she was a teenager, so how can she be a licensed teacher?" Lou replied, grasping for anything as she tried to tear Peter's plans down. "You can't just isolate the kids, taking them away from their friends and their daily activities. The reason why Katie's in kindergarten is because she can socialize with kids her age. It's important and you would know that if you were ever around like a real father!"

Peter dismissed Lou's disapproval of his way of being a parent and focused fighting for the girls.

"Sylvia is a grown woman and she's an excellent teacher. Georgie could benefit from this since she's been struggling with her marks. She'd get the attention and support she needs", said Peter offering his point of view.

"She's been struggling with school because her parents are going through separation!" Lou shouted, hoping to make him feel as idiotic as he sounded to her. To Lou, this just proved that Peter wasn't in tune with what the girls were feeling or even going through. "Georgie's a smart girl and she already has a tutor. And she's getting better already. The only person she needs attention and support from is her father who's barely been around most of her life. And I know why…" she said, sourly.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Peter asked, not following Lou's train of thought.

"Why have you stopped wearing your ring?" Lou asked. "I thought we were separated and not divorced.

Peter looked at his hand, then covering it with his right one when he realized that Lou had noticed the missing band he had completely forgotten about. He didn't know how to explain it and whatever reason he gave, it would probably only sound worse than it was.

"So you've given up on us? Or are you having an affair?" Lou wanted to know, not even blinking so she could get Peter's honest reaction.

"What? Are you serious?" Peter replied, clearly insulted by Lou's accusations. "I'm not having an affair."

"You and this Sylvia sound close", Lou couldn't help her jealousy, especially because she had been blindsided like this. Taking the rings off and going forward with a divorce was something they would have discussed she thought - but then again, they had never really been good at keeping each other in the loop about anything.

Maybe this was just a testament how much they were failing at this marriage thing.

"Lou, just stop… It's not what you think", Peter insisted, shaking his head.

"Well, what am I supposed to think? You offer services of some woman I don't even know, making the decisions for her like she was someone close to you, like this is something you have already discussed", Lou explained, remembering how she had once been that woman and how they had once worked together as a team. "And not only that, but you're not wearing your ring…" she was now sadder than she was angry.

Peter let his hostile attitude drop because it would have been too easy to run over Lou at this point as she was now acting out of pure emotion, and despite everything, there was still some love left for her. It was just hard to be with her and this proved why. Everything had just come to a head and it had become bigger than he had expected or wanted it to be. Peter thought he had tried to be reasonable, but somehow Lou knew how to bring out the worst in him.

This wasn't the person that he was and he didn't like who he became when he fought with Lou. He had worked so hard to contain his anger, but somehow Lou had taken him back to where he had been before he had met her.

Maybe he had already known what he did now when he had taken off his ring: it was time to admit that this relationship was over.


	9. Chapter 9

Lou stared out of the window of Lisa's truck, her mind a million miles away from the view. She could see the sun setting behind the mountains, and on any other night she would have counted herself lucky to have witnessed such beautiful scenery, but not tonight.

Tonight her mind was occupied with the brutality of life, and not even something as beautiful as the Alberta sky at sunset could lift her spirits.

It had been such a long day and even though the sun was letting her know it was soon coming to an end, Lou could not find any solace in that. Tomorrow's sunrise might bring a new day with new possibilities, but the problems, brought on by today's events, would still be there too.

Peter had stayed behind at the hospital with Katie, while Lisa had promised to drive Lou and Georgie home safely. Jack was right behind them in his truck, and as the convoy arrived at the 600 acres of Heartland, Georgie was the first one to speak since their departure from Calgary.

As they stepped out of the vehicles she asked. "Is Dad staying here after Katie gets to come home?"

Lou was staring across the hood of the car at the still surface of the pond between the driveway and the pastures. A sick feeling came over her as she thought about pulling Katie from the water and holding her lifeless body in her arms again. She was never going to escape that flashback, nor did she really want to, as it would be a constant reminder of what could happen if she was not always paying attention, just as Peter had said.

"Huh…?" Lou turned toward her daughter, realizing Georgie had said something that she had not registered in her mind.

"When Katie gets to come home, will Dad stay here for few days before he goes back to Vancouver?" Georgie rephrased her question, and Lou could feel her heart sinking."

She didn't know what the plan was, but just the mention of Vancouver made Lou's stomach turn. Georgie had no idea about their fight, because Peter and she had put up a brave front when they had returned to Katie's room at the hospital. It was scary how good they had become at acting like nothing was wrong, when they were in fact still bleeding from the battle wounds of their recent fight. But Lou did not want to get the girls involved in their arguments any more than they already were.

"I don't know, I'm sorry", Lou said sadly, making Georgie worry.

The teenager said nothing, because she didn't want to bother her tired and noticeably stressed mother with questions she probably didn't have answers to. Watching her mom and the look on her face told Georgie a lot. It was apparent that not only what had happened to Katie that was weighing Lou down, but there was something else on her mind as well, and Georgie had a feeling that it had to do with Peter. Lou looked weak and fragile, completely out of character for her hard as nail mom. So, without speaking, she promised herself that she would take care of Lou as best she could.

Amy and Ty walked out of the barn when they saw the trucks being parked in front of the ranch house. They had worried expressions on their faces and Amy rushed to hug her sister while Ty looked after Georgie.

"How are you doing?" Ty asked Georgie who just shrugged as she never took her eyes off of her mom, then telling him she was okay. However she was anything but okay and Ty took notice. He put his hand gently on the girl's back, watching with her as the two sisters embraced each other.

"Oh, Lou…" Amy said sympathetically after they broke free from the hug. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine", Lou assured her even though she didn't look or sound like it, trying to continue the lie she was telling herself in addition to everyone else. "It's Katie I'm worried about. Peter stayed with her at the hospital. They want to keep her overnight, just to make sure she's alright because there was something about her blood test results that worried them."

"I hope she's gonna be alright", Amy murmured. She was still too afraid to ask Lou, about the details of the accident, she thought she it might be better to ask them from someone else. Amy was sure Lou was probably tired of going through the whole thing over and over again so had decided to not to ask her to tell it one more time.

"Yeah, me too…" Lou said, nodding absentmindedly.

"Is there anything we can do? Anything at all?" Ty wanted to know. They had made sure the horses were fed and turned out and had taken calls when someone called about a booking at the Dude Ranch.

"No, I think I'm just gonna take a bath and try to relax. I don't think I will be able to get any sleep tonight though", Lou replied, sighing heavily. "But thanks, guys."

"I could stay with you, if that's any help? Ty could sleep in my room, we don't have to go back to the trailer", Amy assumed even before checking with Ty, knowing that he would say it was okay. Proving her intuitions right, Ty approved the plan without hesitation. Tonight was no longer about the loft, it was about family and when there was a need, family stuck together.

"Yeah, why not", Lou said, shrugging. She wasn't sure if it would help, but it would not hurt to try. Right now she was just overwhelmed by everything that had happened today, and just wanted to be alone, so a bath sounded like a good way to escape from it all.

"Do you want something to eat? I could make you something", Lisa offered as the group started walking inside.

"No, I'm not really hungry. But you guys eat something if you want."

"Okay, well, if you change your mind, I will make plenty if you want to join us", Lisa said.

"Thank you. I just need some time alone, if that's okay?" Lou replied.

"Absolutely", Jack assured, promising to make sure no one would bother her. "We will keep the place running. Don't you worry about a thing."

Lou had taken a bottle of white wine and a glass with her to the bathroom, and as she was drawing a bath, she placed the glass on the side of the tub and poured herself some wine, placing the bottle on the floor where she could still reach it if she wanted more. She then took off her clothes, placed them aside and got in the tub.

Adjusting herself comfortably, in the warm water, Lou placed her arms on the sides of the tub, then she picked up the glass of wine. As Lou looked at the glass of wine in her hand she thought about how she didn't like this way of self-medicating, especially because of her father's history with alcohol abuse, although at the moment she could not think of any other way to help relax herself.

As the warmth of the water helped her muscles loose up, Lou closed her eyes and listened to the silence. Ever since finding Katie in the water, silence had become her worst nightmare. The lack of noise usually meant something bad was going on.

But right now silence was her friend. It meant that she was alone, that nothing was her responsibility and therefore she could not screw anything up.

Except she had already screwed up so much.

Lou went back to what had happened at the hospital, back to Peter's bare hand and what he had said about this woman called Sylvia. For her, separation had meant living apart and going on with their lives like they always had, without the pressure of making their relationship work. But she had never given a thought about moving on, because there was no time limit for that, no automatic divorce would occur after a certain period of time.

After being married for years, Lou had expected this stage of their separation to go on for a while, because not only had they not ever said anything about this becoming anything else, but also because they had the girls and because of them any new developments would have to happen slowly.

Lou didn't know if she had hoped to get back together with Peter, even though on some level she had wished for everything to be okay again at some point, after they had been apart long enough that they had gotten clearer heads about the things that had gone wrong.

Now, if they were to get a divorce, they would have to wait for a year until they could file for one. And if Peter really was seeing someone, whether it was this Sylvia or someone else, then Lou would have to accept that he had moved on and would most likely obtain a divorce if he wanted to remarry.

Glancing at her silver rings, Lou felt like the whole concept of marriage was just a joke. Why had she ever accepted Peter's proposal? She knew their relationship had not been perfect to begin with and that had not changed after their vows. Marriage had not been some magical solution to the problems they had always had with each other. In fact, it had only made them worse. It was like marriage had forced them to force each other do something neither of them wanted to compromise about, and now that Peter had gotten a taste of freedom, he had no reason to return to this relationship that clearly didn't offer him enough.

Lou took a sip from her glass and placed it on the side of the tub, thinking. If Peter had already given up, then what was the point of wearing these rings when marriage was supposed to be about the union of two?

She removed the bands carefully, looking at them one last time before she dropped the rings in to the glass of wine and let her body slide down the tub, slipping under the water.

Her body tensed up as she started to think about how it must have felt for Katie to be in the water. Her regret and pain got worse and she felt like maybe she deserved to feel this way, maybe that was what Peter had meant when he had said she should take time to think about what had happened.

Her lungs started to feel like they were about to explode, Lou pulled herself to the surface grabbing for the sides of the tub, gasping for air, accidentally pushing the glass of wine on the floor, causing it to break.

Amy, who was just getting more pillows from the closet next to the bathroom, heard the noise of breaking glass, hurried to the door and knocked few times.

"Lou, is everything okay?" Amy asked in a worried voice, gently opening the door and poking her head in when she couldn't control her fear. She saw Lou in the tub and a lot of water on the floor along with shards of glass and a pair of rings. The older sister looked like she was out of breath and maybe crying, it was hard to tell because her face was wet. "Lou…" Amy could see everything was not alright, so she stepped in and closed the door behind her.

As Lou looked up and noticed her sister, a panic took over. "Amy, don't!" Lou yelled. Amy froze and waited. "There's glass everywhere…"

"Are you okay…?" Amy asked again.

"No… I'm not okay", Lou finally admitted. "I think Peter wants to get divorced and take the girls with him to Vancouver…" she started crying harder. Amy tried to listen to Lou's warning and fought the urge to go to her, but eventually decided to go anyway, despite the broken glass on the floor. Her sister needed to be comforted.

"I'm so sorry…" Amy said getting in the tub with her. She didn't care that her clothes were going to get wet because there was worse things in the world - like her sister's grieve.


	10. Chapter 10

_I'm not someone who knows about medical profession, so all of this just written from a fanfic writer's POV and not in a way how these situations might occur in real life. It's fiction after all._

"Is that good? Or do you want another pillow?" Peter asked from Katie when they were getting ready for bed. He had piled up pillows behind Katie's back, so she would feel as if she would be held by someone. Sometimes when Katie was scared or sick, Lou and he would let her sleep in their bed because being held helped her fall asleep faster. But now, unfortunately, Peter couldn't hold her, so he had to find a way around it. The little girl had been dozing off ever since the others had left the hospital, but for some reason she continually woke up and acted like she wasn't tired at all.

"No. I wanna go home", Katie insisted, pouting her lower lip. Peter sighed a little, thinking he had already lost count of how many times Katie had already stated that, and every time he would say the exact same thing:

"I know, honey, but we can't. Not until tomorrow. You have to sleep first", Peter explained gently, caressing Katie's head and giving her forehead a kiss. "Look at Pogie", he took a hold of the stuffed horse and walked it under Katie's little arm. "He's really tired, look how he's yawning!" Peter tried to twist the horse's head back so it would look like the toy was really doing it. "Why don't you two sleep while I sit here, okay?" he suggested. "I know Pogie would really love to."

Peter had noticed that whenever Katie didn't like to do something, she would be prone to listen to what her toys supposedly told her more than she would listen to her parents. Somehow they were better at telling her what to do.

But this time the trick didn't work.

"No. I wanna go home!" Katie protested tossing the stuffed pony away. Peter watched as the toy flew across the floor and Katie crossed her arms over her chest as a sign of resistance.

Putting Katie to bed wasn't easy to begin with, but in a strange environment Peter found it to be even harder.

"Honey, if we could go home, we would", Peter said, trying to stay calm as he went to get the toy back. "It's just one night. I promise."

"I want Mommy…" was the next thing Katie insisted and Peter knew not to take it personally. This was probably one of those situations where Katie thought that she would get what she wanted from the other parent and not the one that was telling her what to do.

"Mommy's not here right now", Peter explained softly.

"Where is she?" Katie wanted to know.

"She's sleeping. Like you should be", Peter tried another approach. "Everyone else is sleeping so there's no reason to be up anymore."

"I'm not tired", Katie kept telling him.

"Oh yeah? Well, we'll see about that", Peter thought about leaving Katie alone for a while. She was probably just getting more riled up when he insisted her doing something she obviously didn't want to do. Eventually Katie would be too tired to argue and she would fall asleep, he thought. She had never been someone who went to sleep easily and Peter could still recall the times when she had been just a baby and she had cried what had seemed to be all night long, night after night. Eventually Peter had found himself bunking in the loft with another tired victim of Katie's wailing; Jack.

This accident had actually reminded him about something Jack had said one of those nights:

"That daughter of yours is more resilient than you think. She's a Fleming-Morris-Bartlett after all…"

And Jack had been right. Katie had always been resilient and she had always pulled through, and Peter was happy about that. She was pulling through now too and everything would soon be back to normal.

The thing that kept haunting Peter right now wasn't just what could have happened with her, but also what could happen after this. Like Jack had said, Katie was partly a Morris too, but lately Peter had been made to feel like it was a bad thing to be one. He was constantly reminded that would never be like a Bartlett or a Fleming. He was one always singled out. The rest of the family acted like he was a deadbeat dad when it couldn't have been farther from the truth.

The reason why he had accepted his job in Vancouver, the one that made him look so bad in Lou's and her family's eyes, was because he had wanted Katie and Georgie to have a good childhood where all their needs would be met. While Lou loved Alberta, Peter loved Vancouver just as much. The last thing he needed or wanted right now was another personal bankruptcy and Peter had no doubt about Lou agreeing with him, but the way he was always seen in this bad light was starting to get old, in fact it had started to feel old ages ago and that's why they were in this mess to begin with.

If they had decided to move to Vancouver together, Peter would be in the position where Lou was right now, working daily, sometimes on weekends too, but always coming home and having time with his family. He didn't want to be away from his family, not at all, but it was the price he had to pay if he wanted to keep the job he liked so much. So how was Lou doing the same thing any better; because the location was different? How was that his fault? It wasn't like Lou didn't expect him not to work from Hudson whenever he visited. So why couldn't she work from Vancouver too and keep Maggie's and the Dude Ranch running from afar, popping in every now and then? She was the owner of her businesses and Tim was there to help her, so she was in the position to make those kind of decisions. And both of those businesses were booming too, so she had the money to hire more people if that was what she was so worried about. But for whatever reason, she didn't want to. And Peter wasn't sure if it really even mattered anymore if they were really heading toward a divorce.

Right now, sitting here, alone with Katie and playing back in his mind their fight earlier, Peter could come up with all sorts of arguments he could have used to back his position, but whenever he fought with Lou, she always spouted out all these accusations so fast he didn't have time to think how he could defend himself as he was too busy thinking where was she pulling all of her lines from. It was like she had a script with these monologues she had been practicing while he had been away.

And now, she had a new accusation he had thrown in his face - though it was not like he hadn't heard that one before: not only did Lou think that he was a lousy father, she also thought he was having an affair with his co-worker's daughter. Peter did realize how it was easy for Lou to believe that, he also knew he would never be able to make Lou see his side of things, because she was never going to stop talking long enough to listen to him, so it would be useless to try and say her accusations were false because she had already made up her mind and would just think it was "more lies".

After being married to her for so long, Peter knew that when Lou's mind was made up, she stuck to it. That's how it had always been and would always be everyone else just had to go with it.

"Daddy…" Katie's voice diverted Peter's mind from his thoughts. He stood up from the chair where he had been seated and came closer. Something about his daughter seemed different, like she was not really present.

"What is it?"

"Can I go play with those angels…?" she asked staring toward the wall on the other side of the room. Peter turned his head to see what she was possibly seeing and talking about, but there was nothing there, just an abstract painting that didn't give Peter an impression of angels. Sometimes it was hard to follow children's imaginations where everything could be something else and nothing could be something.

"Angels– honey, what are you talking about?" a confused Peter asked.

Katie started rubbing her eyes as if she would have been staring at the sun for too long and she was seeing one big orb even after closing them. Peter wondered if the lights were starting to hurt her eyes now that she was sleepy. Sometimes when she had been up for a long time, her eyes started to look red from the lack of sleep. And this day had definitely been a long one for her, so it wouldn't be a surprise if that was the case.

But then suddenly, Katie leaned her head back violently and curled her arms against her chest. Before Peter realized what was going on, Katie's body started to jerk. It looked like she was having some sort of seizure.

"Katie, honey", a panicked Peter tried to get her attention while watching the girl helplessly. He knew that if this was some sort of seizure, he wasn't supposed to stop Katie from jerking, but he would have to make sure that she wouldn't bang her head. Peter quickly hit the emergency button and then focused on his daughter who was turning her head against the pillows like she was being possessed by something, still curling up as if she was in pain. It was hard to watch and Peter kept telling himself that a doctor or a nurse would be here soon and they would make sure she was okay, but when the seconds passed and no one came, he kept pushing the emergency button in frustration as many times as he could.

Soon, a nurse appeared on the doorway and Peter turned his head toward her.

"Please, help! It looks like she's having some sort of seizure or something", Peter explained even though the nurse quickly picked up on that too. She looked over her shoulder toward the hallway and hollered:

"Someone page Dr. Palmer!"


	11. Chapter 11

Amy helped Lou get wrapped up in a robe, then making sure she didn't step on any of the glass shards as they made their way to the older sister's bedroom. Lou was shaking and crying without tears, which only made Amy worry more. She had had no idea things had gotten this messy, this fast.

"Okay, you just lay there, I'll go clean up the bathroom, okay?" Amy said as Lou climbed on her bed and curled up, her hair still up in a wet bun. Lou's only response was a nod and Amy lingered for a little while in the doorway, not wanting to go but also not wanting anyone to get hurt if they happened to enter the bathroom without knowing what to expect there with the broken glass on the floor.

When she finally came out of Lou's bedroom and closed the door behind her, Amy almost bumped into Ty who was making his way of out her old room where he had been in the process of making himself a bed for the night.

"Oh, hey, did you get the blankets?" he asked, before noticing Amy's blank expression and wet clothes. He had seen her not more than 10 minutes before and she had been fine. "What happened? Why are you soaked?" Ty inquired.

"Come with me", Amy insisted, taking Ty by the hand, leading him to the bathroom. Ty didn't protest, but instead followed her, hoping to find out what was going on. When she closed the door behind them, Amy turned toward Ty who was staring at the mess.

"What happened here…?" he asked, feeling stupid for asking more questions because he was still waiting for answers to the previous ones.

"It's Lou. She's really, _really_ upset. I don't know what happened here before I came in - I mean she obviously broke the wine glass, but…" Amy explained, then turning and looking at the mess too. "All I know is that this has to get cleaned up. I'm just afraid to leave Lou alone in her room–"

"Don't worry about that, I can clean this up, you go to her", insisted Ty. Amy was relieved to know her husband was with her in this. "Just… is everything okay...? Do you know what happened with Katie…?" he wanted to make sense of this all, but it was hard when he did not know anything - or more like no one said anything. It was understandable that these things weren't easy to talk about and he didn't want to seem too nosy, Ty only wanted to help - although in order to help, he needed information. It wasn't like he could just go in to a surgery without knowing where to cut and what to do when the cut had been made. What if by not knowing he was only doing more harm than good.

"I don't know and I don't wanna ask Lou because she's so fragile right now. I could talk to Grandpa, but…" Amy sighed, running her hands through her hair like she did when there was too many things she needed to take care of, causing her to not be able to focus on anything as well as she wanted. "This is just more than I can handle!" she cried out in frustration.

"Hey", Ty replied hurriedly, hoping to calm his wife down by carefully taking Amy's hands trying to gain her attention. He gave them an encouraging squeeze. "You can do this, Amy. I'll clean up here, you go to Lou and do what you have to do to help her. We'll find out more eventually, but first we need to make sure Lou's alright. Katie's with Peter, so whatever happened to her is not our main concern right now - Lou is."

"Yeah, okay", Amy said, nodding quickly and then exhaling loudly as she tried to calm down. Hearing Lou talk about a divorce and Peter wanting the custody had scared Amy, even though she knew she and Ty were different, and in a different place in their relationship. Amy still couldn't have ever imagined things turning this nasty with Lou and Peter so quickly. They had been so civil and mature about this whole separation thing, but Katie's accident seemed to have changed everything. "Ty… You know I love you, right?" whispered Amy, looking for confirmation from Ty.

"Yeah, I do", Ty replied, seeing the fearful look in Amy's eyes as their glances met. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just never wanna be where Lou and Peter are right now", Amy said, feeling guilty for speaking behind Lou's back like this. But it was how she felt and she wanted to express it freely to her husband as they were alone and trying to get through this together.

"We won't be", Ty assured, pulling Amy into a hug. He could feel his clothes getting wet as their bodies pressed together. He held her tight, not letting go until he felt her begin to relax. He spoke softly in her ear as her head lay on his chest. "I love you too", he whispered, kissing Amy's hair. It gave her the confidence she needed to help her get through this. "I'll see you later", he said as they ended the hug.

They exchanged a few more kisses and then Amy returned to Lou's bedroom.

When he was alone again, Ty sighed and looked at the mess he was supposed to clean up. It was like a crime scene with the wine stains, broken glass and the two rings spread across the bathroom floor. The only thing missing was blood - however he was relieved not to have discovered any because this was tragic enough.

Bending down, Ty picked up the rings, quickly recognizing them as Lou's. He placed them in his pocket for the time being and went to get some towels from the cabinet next to the tub. He carefully mopped up the liquids and glass from the floor, making sure he did not miss any of the small shards that had flown across the room. When he was finished, he had a pile of larger shards next to the tub and the small ones had mostly stuck to the wet towel. He carefully folded the towel placing it in the trash can, then he carefully picked up the larger pieces and disposed of them as well. Taking another towel, he wet it in the tub, which was still full of water, and mopped the floor again to make sure he had not missed any of the small pieces of glass.

As he was cleaning, Ty was startled by the ring of a phone. He knew it wasn't his because his was in Amy's room and the ringtone was different from his anyway. After a quick inspection, he noticed Lou's clothes that he had picked up and placed on the closed toilet lid while he had cleaned up the floor. Ty didn't like going through people's stuff without permission, but Lou wasn't feeling well and she probably didn't want to take any calls now. But what if it was someone who needed to get hold of her? Ty decided to pull Lou's phone out to see who it was - if it seemed important, he would answer it, if not, he would leave it be and let Lou get back to them when she wanted.

When he saw Peter's name on the screen, Ty figured maybe it was okay to take it, as it could be an emergency.

"Hey, Peter. It's Ty", he introduced himself, wanting to make sure Peter knew who he was talking to. There was a moment silence on the other end before Peter realized what Ty had just said.

 _"Hey, Ty. Is Lou there? It's kind of important",_ Peter explained.

"She's resting. Can I help?"

 _"Well, if you must know... Katie just had a seizure. So I would consider this kind of important for Lou to know",_ Peter told Ty. _"Can you get her, please?"_

"Seizure? Is she okay now?" Ty asked, walking out of the bathroom. It seemed like the Fleming-Morris family couldn't catch a break. One bad thing just kept happening after another. Ty wished there was more that he could do.

" _She seems better, but the doctors are doing some tests now because they are concerned maybe she's had some kind of head trauma during her accident - or maybe the seizure was caused by asphyxia. But like I said, they are looking into it and I don't have any answers right now",_ a concerned Peter informed him.

"Asphyxia?" Ty echoed, wondering what really had happened to Katie. He knew asphyxia was caused by a deficiency of oxygen in the body, so it seemed like maybe Katie had not been breathing for a while because of the accident.

 _"Yeah, since she was under the water and Lou had to perform CPR. Or that's the story I've heard…"_ Peter muttered. Ty was shocked to find out Katie had almost drowned, but like Amy, he hadn't wanted to bother anyone about it more than he had to, so he had just decided to go with what he knew: Katie had an accident and was in the hospital. _"So can I talk to Lou or…?"_

"Uh, oh yeah… just a second", Ty stuttered as he realized he was still standing in front of Lou's door. He had already kept Peter occupied for too long as he had been so wrapped up in the moment, so he knocked and waited, simultaneously wondering what the hell he was going to say as he didn't think these were the kind of news he should be giving to Lou. He knew a little about something when it came to being the bearer of the bad news, but only from vet's point of view. This was more personal, because his family was involved.

"Who is it?" Amy's voice asked from the inside.

"It's me, Ty. I have Peter on the line. He wants to talk to Lou, it's really important. There's been a change in Katie's condition", Ty said through the door.

He didn't have to wait long before Lou opened the door and reached out her hand. She looked small, like she was barely holding herself together, but there was a determination in her eyes. It was the look of a parent who was falling apart, but when it came to their child, they somehow were able to find the strength to take care of needs of their children.

"Let me speak to him", Lou demanded. Amy was standing behind her, a worried look on her face. Ty looked back at Amy, apologizing with his eyes and wanting to tell her what Peter had said, but decided that this was Lou's call - literally.

Ty handed her the phone and Lou pressed it against her ear.

"Peter…?" Lou said, out of breath from the fear of what he was going to say. "What's happened?"


	12. Chapter 12

Lou couldn't believe she was experiencing the long drive to the hospital twice in one day. She had hoped that Katie would be safe there with the professional medical staff and Lou herself wouldn't have to worry so much, but it seemed like Katie wasn't safe anywhere; if her body wanted to attack itself, it could do it anywhere.

This time however, Amy and Ty were with her and Jack and Lisa had stayed behind to be with Georgie. The teenager needed something close to parental guidance to help her keep up with the routine despite everything that was going on.

After arriving at the hospital, Lou walked toward Katie's room, with Ty and Amy following her. It felt as if this nightmare was never going to end, the self-blame just grew bigger and bigger as Lou couldn't help but think that she had done something wrong during the CPR. Or maybe Katie's accident had been more serious than they had thought.

No matter - she was to blame.

As she arrived closer to the room, Lou saw Peter standing in the hallway with Dr. Palmer, one of the doctors involved in Katie's case.

"Peter… Dr. Palmer…" Lou greeted as she was about to reach them. Both the doctor and Peter turned to look at Lou.

"Mrs. Morris", Dr. Palmer said, recognizing the woman from earlier that day. Lou tried not to get too nit-picky about him calling her by the wrong name, because it really didn't matter. As long as he could tell that she was Katie's mother and wanted information, names were only a minor detail.

"How is Katie? What's happening?" Lou asked, eyeing Katie's room. She wanted to go and see her daughter, but there was probably a reason why Peter and the doctor weren't inside.

"They are doing some physical tests with Katie. It can't uncover epilepsy, but it can show problems indicating what part of her brain isn't working properly", Dr. Palmer filled her in.

"Epilepsy…? But… Katie doesn't have epilepsy… does she?" Lou started by sounding sure, but as she went on, she had to admit that she couldn't deny that doctors could know more than she did.

"I was…" the doctor said, looking at Lou and then back to Peter, "I was under the impression your husband had told you about our thinking that was a possibility over the phone."

"No, he didn't", Lou said trying to hide the anger in her voice, turning to glare at Peter. The man looked back, sighing and feeling like maybe he needed to explain himself.

"I didn't want to say anything before we knew for sure. I know you'd freak out and it could be for nothing–"

"Well, it's not nothing, is it? Epilepsy is a serious thing. You think not knowing what the doctors assumed could be the diagnoses would be better?" Lou asked.

"No, I just–" Peter tried clarify his statement, but was interrupted by Dr. Palmer who had a zero tolerance for family drama in already stressful situation.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I am hoping you could talk about this later. Right now I need to ask some questions", he continued, as Lou and Peter tried to regain their composure. "Based on your reactions, I'll take it there has been no history of seizures? Your husband said so, but he also said that you two are separating, so maybe that's something you wouldn't have told him", he said, and based on the way they had just behaved he believed it was a possibility.

"No, I would have told him if there had been any seizures. But there has not been", Lou confirmed. The doctor marked it down on his sheet so that the staff would be up to date about all the details concerning Katie's medical history.

Amy and Ty stood on the side, glancing at each other in disbelief. It was different to be in the center of the hurricane than on the sidelines. Everything started to feel more real.

"Well, as far as we know now - while we are still in the middle of examinations - it seems like Katie could have had an epileptic seizure", Dr. Palmer continued, making Lou seem sadder.

"That's not good, is it…?" she asked, unable to look at Peter, because she was afraid he would blame her all the more.

"Depends. Causes of epilepsy can be divided into two groups: brain injuries and chemical imbalances in the brain. Anything that injures the brain can lead to seizures. Low oxygen levels are common imbalances that can cause seizures, and given the nature of Katie's accident earlier today, it's possible that it's what we are dealing with", the doctor explained the situation to both parents. "We are still waiting for the MRI scans to see if there's something abnormal in the structure of the brain that might suggest reason for the seizure as well. These things can be hard to pinpoint and often the cause of epilepsy remains idiopathic."

"Idiopathic?" Peter echoed. He wasn't familiar with the medical term, but wanted to understand everything they were told.

"It's a medical term for unknown", Dr. Palmer explained. "If it seems like Katie is okay and the seizure didn't affect her too much, she might be able to go home as long as she's under constant surveillance. If her condition were to change, then you would, of course, come back to the hospital. If it really is epilepsy, it might seem scary, but just know that it's not a death sentence. However history of seizures is required to make a diagnosis, so I can't say for sure it's what she has since you just told me that this is the first time anything like this has happened."

"Could she have had a seizure without us knowing, though?" Peter wondered.

"Most seizures have a clear start and finish and they last from seconds to few minutes, occurring seemingly random times. The patient may not remember their behavior during seizures, so I guess it's possible, but highly unlikely", the doctor told him. "If it's something else, something we can work on, then we can hopefully tell it soon. Given the circumstances, I would guess she had a seizure due to low oxygen levels. For now, all I can ask is for you to remain calm and wait while we are running some tests."

"But how dangerous is a seizure…? Can it cause like… a stroke?" Lou had to ask. She knew older people were more prone to get strokes, but she figured maybe it was possible with younger people too.

"Seizures don't cause strokes, but strokes can lead to seizures when brain cells are injured and can no longer control their electrical activity", Doctor Palmer replied and Lou nodded along.

"So she could have had a stroke and then a seizure?" Peter asked needing to understand what exactly had happened.

"It's possible, but we have to see the scans before we can make any assumptions", Dr. Palmed replied.

"So can this be because of the accident?" Peter continued, and Lou felt like if the doctor said yes, Peter would get even more ammo for his custody case.

"We rather not speculate before we know something further. It's possible, but it's not something I'm ready to confirm yet. It could be that her brain was injured during the accident, but it's also possible that the accident happened because of a stroke, for example. I mean, you said that you didn't see what happened exactly, correct?" the doctor asked and Lou confirmed it by nodding. "So she could have had a seizure while she was in the water, which could have been the result of the drowning. But as bad as that may sound, it's a good thing she was awake after she arrived at the hospital and she seemed otherwise okay too - that is more than most people can hope for in a situation like this", Dr. Palmer said, hoping to avoid the parents' self-blame. They seemed like caring and loving parents and he could sense they were honestly worried. "Right now I need you to wait and I will get back to you when we have the MRI scans and have examined them. They can be the key to this all."

"Thank you, doctor", Peter said before he left.

Lou stood there, frozen, and stared at the floor. The doctor was trying to give them hope, but after today she didn't feel like she had much to hope for, even if Katie was okay, she still might lose her. Her head was spinning with all the possibilities and she was worried that no matter what route this situation took, it would all end up badly.

"Come on. Let's go to the waiting room", Peter said, placing his hand behind Lou's back guiding and supporting her as they walked. There were lot of things he wanted to say, but as Lou was obviously upset and fragile, he didn't want to fight right now as it could make her condition even worse.

"Is there anything we can do?" Ty asked after they had both watched the parents with the doctor, feeling sorry for them and hating the situation as much as anyone.

"Thanks for bringing Lou. I think we'll take it from here", Peter replied. He still felt like the more Bartlett-Flemings were around, the harder it was for him to relax and be himself.

"But maybe we should wait with you? I don't know about you, but if it was me, I would want family to be around if… something like this was going on", Amy suggested, not feeling like she could or should leave Lou's side right then.

"Amy, just go home. I know you have clients coming up first thing in the morning. You should try and catch some sleep while you're able", Lou said. A part of her wanted the security of her sister, but another part of her didn't think she deserved it. She just wanted to lock herself up and wait numbly for more news. Lou realized Amy and Ty meant well, but the less people were there to witness her downfall, the better.

"But–" Amy tried.

"Just go", Lou demanded firmly.

Ty decided maybe it was better for them to go even if it felt like they were abandoning Lou. But if it was what Lou and Peter wanted, then they should respect their wishes.

"Okay. Well, if there's anything we can do, just call us. Either of you", Ty said, looking at both of them. "I hope Katie's going to be okay."

"Me too", Peter replied, nodding. "Thanks, Ty."

"No problem", Ty said, before he took Amy by the hand leading her away from where she wanted to be, making their way back to his truck so they could begin the long drive home.


	13. Chapter 13

"Do you want more water? I could get you some", Peter offered as he and Lou were sitting in the waiting room, hoping they would soon hear news about Katie. He had noticed Lou had been staring at her empty plastic mug for minutes now and he wasn't sure if she was contemplating getting more water or had she just zoned out like he had in the silence of the room.

"No, I'm fine", Lou replied apathetically. Peter nodded and leaned back in his chair. They sat in silence for a while before Lou continued with a different subject.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me about the epilepsy thing over the phone", Lou abruptly declared going back to their earlier conversation.

Peter took a deep breath, shaking his head and biting his lower lip as he tried to keep himself from sighing heavily.

 _Here we go again…_

"Why do you keep everything from me? Why is it a thing with you?" Lou wanted to know. It had always been a problem with Peter, whether it was his feelings or his plans - or even the state of his business. Lou thought herself to be trustworthy, and as Peter's wife, she would have expected him to tell her everything that was going on in his life because in a lot of ways it was her life as well.

"Well, maybe because you tell me everything, burden me with every single thing that's in your head and that's not what I want", Peter said, not being able to hold himself back anymore, especially not after the fight earlier that had left him almost mute.

"What's that supposed to mean? Isn't communication part of a marriage? At least it should be. Maybe you should look yourself in the mirror and ask why this one failed…" she muttered, feeling offended.

"There it is!" Peter exclaimed jumping up from his chair almost like he had been expecting this for a while now and it was finally time to speak his mind. He had held back as long as he could, but this had pushed him to the breaking point. "Right there!" he pointed at Lou.

"What is?" Lou asked, furrowing her brow.

"That it's all my fault. Every time you disagree with something that I do, it's a referendum on my character. Like, just because I want to have a job in Vancouver, I'm a bad father. Or when I just need to be silent for a while because my head is full of noise, I'm a lousy husband", Peter continued as he listed few more of Lou's favorites things to nag him about.

"You're exaggerating!" scoffed Lou, yet wondering was she really like how Peter had described her.

"Am I? Think about it, Lou, that's what you always say. - And you just proved my point! That the reason why this marriage failed is because I am the way I am. But what about you, how about the way you are or the things you do? You say marriage is a union of two, but every time something doesn't work out, it's because of me, so you're the saint that saves the day, the person that keeps this family from falling apart. In your head, every single thing I do is just more evidence that I'm a bad person", Peter fumed. He wasn't going to stay silent anymore. Under the circumstances he had not wanted to make this into an argument for Lou's sake, but he couldn't just let her walk all over him again.

"You're not a bad person. I wouldn't have married you if you were. I'm just trying to help you make the right decisions", Lou explained, as she tried to make Peter see it from her point of view.

"Isn't that just it - you have to make all the decisions. Whether it's about where we live or what I should do with my life - even how I should feel. Here I thought I was making good decisions, but you're still trying to make all the decisions for me!" Peter pointed out as he made his case.

Lou stood up so she could look Peter in the eyes, as she felt like she was being talked down to sitting in the chair. She was trying to make everything work, she thought to herself, but Peter didn't seem too grateful.

"So what - if it's the right decision, isn't that what I should be doing?"

"According to who? You?" Peter snorted. "It's like you are the all knowing judge, the one who is always right."

"What do you want me to say? Huh?" Lou asked thinking for the first time about what Peter had just shared. From his point of view she must have looked just like she had seen him. "Peter, you're amazing dad, any child would love to have you as their father. That's exactly why I always needed you back home and I thought it'd be something that would matter to you too."

"It does matter to me; don't try to turn this against me again. Not only am I a good father, but I'm also good at what I do and I enjoy it just as much as you enjoy being a Mom and an owner of your own business, and like you I don't want to have to give up any more than I already have", Peter said, wondering if Lou had any idea how what she thought would be a compromise was actually her turning him to do her will. "You don't get it, do you? If you're blaming me for being the way I am, then you're actually blaming yourself as well."

"So, having a family has ruined your life, is that what you're saying?" Lou asked, feeling like this was it for them. She began to choke up. She had known that their marriage was built on lies and deceit, but not to this extent. "So you would rather live in Vancouver alone with no wife and no kids?"

"No", Peter said, shaking his head. "Don't put words into my mouth. I could say to you the same thing; you would rather live without a husband on Heartland than be with me where I live and work. I've always wanted kids and marriage, but you've made it so… complicated. I love being with the kids and used to love being with you as well, but lately it's just feels better to be apart."

"Isn't that selfish?" Lou asked. What he had just said had not set in yet and Lou felt Peter just wanted the easy way out that would make him happy, no matter what it meant for other people.

"I'm selfish? Was I selfish when I took care of the girls while you were on a book tour?" Peter reminded Lou. He knew that he wasn't with the girls as much as Lou but that was not because he did not want to be, and it didn't mean he couldn't take care of them if Lou needed time for something else besides always having to watch them.

"You told me it would be okay! Are you saying that you weren't okay with it after all?" Lou asked, feeling like she was being guilt-tripped for having one thing for herself when she usually did all the work around the house and ran her businesses while taking care of the girls at the same time.

"No, I was okay with it and I am proud of you for doing it. I'm just saying that whenever you decide to do something, it's selfless, but whenever I decide to do something, it's selfish", Peter explained hoping that Lou would actually hear what he was trying to say.

"Oh, so you're a saint because for once you were home with the girls? Well guess what; that's what parents do. You would know this if you were ever there. You don't see me asking for a medal for being a mother", Lou snorted.

"I'm not finished", Peter said strictly. "I'm just saying you get to choose all the definitions and you are the judge of everything. Whenever I disagree with you, I'm in the wrong."

"Well, maybe I need to be the judge because I make better choices for this family than you do…"

"According to who? You again?" Peter wanted to know.

"Well, if we'd run this family like you'd want it to be run, there would be no family anymore", Lou shot back.

"Is there a family anymore - even with the way you're running it…?" Peter pointed out. Suddenly it seemed if everything that Peter had been saying became clear all at once and it made Lou shut her mouth because she knew Peter had a point. Peter reached out and touched Lou as he looked at her through sad eyes. "I just wish that you didn't have a list of my flaws ready, right there at the tip of your tongue, every time I come to see you and the girls. I wish for once you had to search for some way to cut me down. At least I would feel like you were just angry and trying to find a way to strike out. But when they are there and you don't even have to think about it… it makes me feel like crap. It makes me not wanna come here, but because I really wanna see you and the girls, I come here anyway, knowing that I am going to have to gear up for a fight. It seems to be the only thing we're really good at together anymore. – You're a good person, Lou, I know are, but sometimes I wish you would think before you speak and maybe you wouldn't always rub your goodness in my face."

At first Lou didn't think she would be able to respond, but the words just fell out of her mouth out of the guilt she was unexpectedly feeling.

"I almost got our daughter killed… so, so much about being a good person. – I'm actually the worst…" Lou gave up in defeat, suddenly in a state of shock as she admitted the situation to herself.

Peter looked at her, his features softening.

"That's not what I meant. What happened to Katie was an accident", he said. "I don't think you did it on purpose, but I'm just I was afraid if I did not stand up for myself now, then the blame would somehow come back to me as one of my flaws and you would win again."

"Is that why you wanna take the girls away? To protect them or to prove your point?" Lou asked, her voice trembling and her eyes stinging with tears.

"I guess maybe a little bit of both", Peter admitted, feeling slightly embarrassed for not being what he had just said he wished Lou would be. "When you say it like that, it sounds horrible. I don't want them to not have you in their lives, I just…" he sighed, "why did things turn out this way, Lou? When did we stopped loving and started hating with such intensity?"

"Maybe it was there all along. Remember when I said that you stood for things that made my blood boil?" Lou inquired, making Peter nod as he recalled the conversation. He had hoped that he could be the guy to change Lou's mind about everything she was so against, but he now realized that what not what relationships were for. He didn't want Lou to change him either, never had, so why had he ever expected it from Lou either. "So maybe we confused lust for love and lust became… this mess when it burned out."

"Maybe…" Peter replied, nodding. He sat down, pondering the sudden quietness that had swept over both of them looking at Lou he replied. "Are we actually agreeing on something for once?"

"I guess so…" Lou said. She glanced at him quickly, and then with a sigh she and Peter sat down next to each other. The fight was over and they were lying in the battlefield, beaten and exhausted. But in this battle there had been no winner.

"How long do you think it'll take for the doctors to get back to us?" she queried Peter after a while.

"I don't know, but I hope it won't be much longer. I hate this, waiting and not knowing what's going on. I want to be able to do something", Peter talked, as he checked to see if anyone was coming through the door or down the hall. But the door remained closed and staff members just rushed by the windows that surrounded them.

"I guess we're both bit of a control freaks, aren't we?" Lou thought out loud.

"Seems that way."

The silence settled down again before Peter continued.

"Lou, I meant what I said, but I want you to know that… I believe what happened with Katie was an accident. You're a great mother, Lou. You can't blame yourself too much."

"I guess I want it to be my fault so that in some weird way I would be in control, and have a chance to fix it. - Wow... never realized I felt I need control that much", she was stunned herself. "But I find the more I blame myself and the deeper I get into self-pity, the more I realize that I can't control this, no matter how much I'd despise myself. It's out of my hands…" Lou spoke, gently leaning her head against Peter's shoulder as she sought shelter. Peter wrapped his hand lightly around Lou, caressing her hair.

"Maybe life is telling you to let go for a change? You've felt you always had to be in control–"

"–like you so kindly pointed out…" Lou muttered before Peter could finish his sentence. When she realized she even had to control what he was going to say, she sighed and felt embarrassed, burying her face in his shoulder once again.

"Hey, I'm trying to tell you something good here, so won't you listen to me? Please?" Peter requested before continuing. When Lou nodded, he proceeded. "I'm saying that you're always in control, so maybe it's time to let go for a minute. Just be here, in this moment and stop trying to control every single thing, whether it's a good thing or a bad thing."

"I'll try, but… If even I can't forgive myself, how could you forgive me? Is there even a chance? Do I even deserve it?" Lou inquired softly, a quiver to her voice. Peter kept caressing her hair, wondering what to say and maybe more importantly how to say it. Things were not simple to explain sometimes.

"It's a complicated question. Forgiving you can not be this… in the moment act right here, right now in this room. If this turns out to be something really bad and Katie's not gonna be okay, I need to adapt. I know you didn't do it on purpose, but… I just need to wait and see what happens. So, I'm sorry, but I can't answer to your question right now."

"It's okay", Lou replied. The fact that he would even consider forgiving her was more than she had expected.

As they sat there, leaning against each other, the door opened and Dr. Palmer walked in. He held their gaze as they stood up almost as if to greet the doctor formally, but in reality they were getting ready to hear what he had to say.

"Mr. and Mrs. Morris. We have some good news and bad news…"


	14. Chapter 14

Jack knocked on the attic door and waited for Georgie to respond even though the door to her room was ajar and he could have easily just sneaked in. It was already late and he would have expected the girl to be asleep by now, but the lights that were still on told a different kind of story.

"Come in", Jack heard Georgie's voice say.

As Jack stepped in, he saw Georgie lying in her bed, already in her PJs and Remi by her side. She had apparently been reading a horse book to make herself sleepy, but it seemed like it had not worked so far.

"Just had to come and see if you had forgotten to turn off the lights", Jack explained his late visit. Georgie nodded, looking at him quietly. "How are you doing…?" he had to ask giving the circumstances and Georgie's worried expression.

"I'm fine", Georgie insisted, but her voice was so weak that Jack had hard time believing it. He walked up to her, bent his sore knees and sat at the end of her bed, caressing Georgie's legs that were hidden under the covers.

"You know, it's okay not to be okay too", Jack said. "This day has been a lot to take in."

"I know, I just… I feel stupid", Georgie said, putting her book away on the night stand. There was definitely something on her mind and it was going to be Jack's job to find out what was exactly was weighting on her.

"Why would you say that?"

"I threw a tantrum about Lou being late for picking me up when she actually had a really good reason not to come", Georgie explained shyly. "I don't know… I've had all these problems, with Lou and Peter getting separated and Stephen moving away, but… Katie could have died…"

"Yeah, but she didn't", Jack reminded just in case Georgie was still scared that she would. Death was a scary topic for anyone to ponder, let alone if one had already had to deal with it before, like Georgie. The word from the hospital was that Katie was not in immediate danger - according to Ty and Amy - but everyone was still waiting to hear more.

"I know… but… I guess what I'm trying to say is that… I feel stupid for wanting attention or having problems. Like I feel bad about those things, but… am I allowed to when Katie's in the hospital and she could have died?" Georgie questioned.

"Of course you are allowed to", Jack assured, giving her leg a gentle squeeze. "Just because other people have problems - bigger problems, as one might say - doesn't mean your problems don't matter. I guess it's more about putting things into perspective", he went on.

"What do you mean?" Georgie asked, fiddling the edge of her covers nervously. She was still getting used to talking about her feelings but she knew she could count on Jack to listen.

"Well, let's say… Lou's late for picking you up from practice. That's not the end of the world, even if it feels bad at the time", Jack tried his best to explain, "but if you're sad about Lou and Peter getting separated, that is kind of the end of the world - as you know it, at least. But it doesn't mean life's gonna stop there. As you've noticed, life goes on."

"Yeah, I guess it does", Georgie agreed quietly.

"You can feel bad about it; even if you know that someone out there somewhere is having it "worse" than you. I mean, if you think about, you couldn't feel happy either if you start thinking how someone out there might be happier than you. Your feelings matter, you just have to be reasonable about how much power you give that problem in your life and how you deal with it. Over time, you start feeling better. Having feelings isn't a competition. We all have our problems - you can't compare them because we're not all the same", said an empathetic Jack.

"Well I'm worried about Katie. That's my main concern right now", Georgie explained confiding her feelings to Jack. "She's always been here and I just can't imagine her not being here… It feels so weird without her."

"Yeah, yeah it does…" Jack agreed, nodding. "It almost makes me miss the time she got that new loud toy for Christmas and wouldn't stop pressing the buttons to make those god awful noises", he admitted. He felt like his ears were still ringing because of that damn thing.

"I saw you remove the batteries. Then you told her the toy was broken…" Georgie whispered as the twinkle returned to her eyes. Jack could only shake his head and smile, realizing that he had been caught red-handed. Georgie smiled so wide her dimples showed as she realized Jack had not expected her to know about that.

"You saw that…?!" Jack laughed.

"Yeah… But I never told her, because to be honest that toy was getting on my nerves too", Georgie told him. They both had a good chuckle about it before Jack got up and tucked Georgie in.

"Katie will be back before we know it, don't worry", Jack replied as he tried to console his great-granddaughter. "You sleep tight." He caressed her hair few times and then turned off the lamp on the night stand. The light from the hallway lead him back to the stairs and he left the door ajar, just like it had been when he had come in.

"How was she…?" Lisa inquired as she had been downstairs waiting for her husband. Jack was almost startled because he had not expected to hear from the dimness of the room, as he was still mentally in the room with Georgie, looking after her.

"She's… holding up", Jack summed it up. "She's worried, of course, but considering everything she's doing just fine."

"Are you sure?" The look on Lisa's face told Jack she was worried. "She seemed so quiet at the dinner and she hardly ate anything. When I asked if she needed help with homework, she just shrugged and said she was fine."

"Well, I'll let in on a secret, Lis", Jack said as he walked over to Lisa, gently putting his hands on her shoulders, softly massaging them hoping to relax her a bit. "That might not be the grief talking, that might just be typical teenage behavior. At least, I remember going through that with Marion and then again with Lou and Amy."

"Yeah, but how can you know, especially now that things are falling apart for her?" Lisa inquired. "I may not be expert with kids or teenagers, but I've still been around people, you know."

"I know, and I didn't mean to sound condescending, I'm just saying that we should give her some room to breathe and not smother her with our own feelings. I know you're just worried and mean well, but I think we should let her know that if she needs anything, we are here for her and then when she does need something, we'll make sure we are, so she won't think we were just lying when we promised support", Jack surmised.

"Yeah. I guess you're right", Lisa answered, agreeing with Jack. She didn't like that there was nothing she could do, especially when she wanted to do something, anything that would help everyone feel better.

"Come on, let's go to bed. I have a feeling that tomorrow will be another long day", asserted Jack. They were all tired and it was hard to believe that everything that had happened had taken place in less than 24 hours - and it was still far from over.


	15. Chapter 15

The doctor now had Lou and Peter's attention and they were just about to hear the news concerning Katie's condition. The parents were standing side by side, their eyes glued on the doctor delivering the information, not wanting to miss even the smallest change in his expression that would give something away. Most people would have probably cracked under the pressure of their stares, but Dr. Palmer was used to handling worried family members which was why the look on his face was hard to read - and it worried Lou.

 _Which way was this going to go?_

"Good news first", Lou blurted out, before quickly changing her mind. "No - wait. The bad news first, because if it's really bad, we'll need some good news after that. – Or maybe it's better to know it's not all that bad first, even though there will be some bad news…" she went on, nervously babbling as it was difficult for her to know which was the best option at this point.

Peter looked at Lou as she struggled, then giving her a slight squeeze before he interrupted her.

"Just give us the news in the most logical order", Peter replied, not wanting to get too hung up on the choosing process. "What is it?"

"Well, the good news is we think we have a pretty good idea what caused the seizure. It's always daunting for the family if the cause remains idiopathic, so knowing what we are dealing with not only helps you process all of this but also gives us an idea how to treat it", the doctor said. Lou and Peter weren't ready to give a sigh of relief yet because the bad news were still around the corner. "The bad news is that her condition is still serious and if not treated, it could become even more serious. – I'm glad you got here when you did."

"That's it then?" Peter responded as if the answer the doctor had given did not satisfy their desire for more information.

"We have narrowed down the cause of the stroke by using various tests and methods", the doctor explained.

"So it was a stroke then?" Lou said, still not liking the way it sounded.

"Yes. But she is okay", he added, trying to calm them down again before continuing with his explanation. "There were no infections or chemical problems with Katie. But… the MRI scans revealed a blockage of blood flow to the brain", Dr. Palmer explained.

Lou put her hand over her mouth so she wouldn't gasp out loud. Her eyes began to well up and she swallowed dryly as the panic started to take over again.

"Is it because of the… accident?" she inquired. While Lou had to know the truth, she was also afraid of the answer she was about to get, as it would show her to be at fault again.

"We are not sure, but I doubt it", the doctor replied offering his explanation. "From the test results, we have seen it is more likely that it might have contributed to it."

"So what's going to happen now? Is she gonna need surgery?" Peter asked, equally worried. Almost as if as a reflex, he again wrapped his arm around Lou, his eyes still fastened on Dr. Palmer the whole time. Peter knew Lou well enough to know without looking that sometimes her silence spoke louder than her words.

"No", Dr. Palmer said, shaking his head. "At least not yet. We'll try blood thinning medication to help her blood flow better and see how her body responds to it."

"So does it mean that if you're able to open "the flow" again, there will be no more seizures…? No more strokes?" Peter queried, hoping to find out more and that it would make Lou feel better.

"We think so, but of course only time will tell", Dr. Palmer responded.

Lou struggled to find the words she knew she had to ask as she leaned even more on Peter.

"Is she– is she going to be okay? Can she talk… and walk like she used to?"

The tingle in her neck made her worry she would pass out before she could hear what Dr. Palmer had to say.

"At this point it looks very promising. In most cases, children fully recover after a stroke because their brain is still developing. It is more accurate to say that children are better at adapting to the effects of stroke than older people, for example", Dr. Palmer's explanation began to calm Lou down. "If there are some complications, we can address them at the time. But let's just see where she is at first, shall we?"

"Yeah, absolutely. Thank you, doctor", Peter said. It was hard for someone who needed to have a solution at hand all the time to have to sit back and wait on others, but he was relieved by what he had heard so far and trusted the doctor and his staff.

"Can we go see her?" Lou wanted to know. Even if she had seen Katie just a few hours ago, it felt like the last time she had seen her was weeks ago, and with all this new information, she was dying to hold her and make sure she was okay.

"Soon", Dr. Palmer promised. "We'll let you know when."

"Okay. Thank you, doctor", she said as the man walked away, returning to his other patients. Sighing, Lou put her hand on her forehead, closing her eyes, hoping to calm herself down as the waves of heaviness were released.

"Come on, you should sit down. You don't look too good", a worried Peter helped Lou get seated. "When was the last time you ate something?"

"I don't– I can't remember", Lou stuttered, she was having hard time focusing on anything or anyone other than Katie. "This morning, I guess."

"That's it. I'm getting you something to eat", Peter replied, making the decision to get her some food. Lou didn't protest as she knew that she needed energy to keep going. "You just stay here, I'll be right back."

"Yeah, okay. Thanks, Peter", Lou said, looking at him now and taking him by the hand before he slipped away. She gave his hand a weak squeeze, then capturing Peter's eyes with her own as if seeing a different man standing before than she had seen just minutes earlier. He was the one who cared and always seemed to know how to calm her down when everything seemed to be falling apart.

As Peter held her gaze, gone was the scorn that had been there just moments before. She was just her gentle self, the woman he had fallen in love with. It was sad to think that it had taken this kind of tragedy for them to bury the hatchet, but at least they were able to focus on what really mattered the most at this point; Katie.

Hopefully what they were feeling now would continue when the timing was better.

"No problem. You just try and relax. You don't want to do a nosedive when we finally get to see Katie again, do you?" Peter asked as he tried to lighten the mood, making Lou smile weakly.

"No… No, I don't", assured Lou, shaking her head looking up at Peter with the smile returning to her eyes as well.

"I'll be right back", Peter said as he turned to walk out heading to the canteen.

His mind was racing but he felt like he had some control back in his life again by making sure he was on top of Katie's treatment plan and looking after Lou.


	16. Chapter 16

Amy reached out to pick her cell phone up from her old night table. She made sure she had taken it off mute, even though she had made sure of it twice already; before going to bed and then in the middle of trying to fall asleep.

She figured not being sure if the phone was still muted or not was probably what was keeping her from falling asleep - or maybe it was the fact that she was back in her old bedroom, and realizing that her mind was with Lou at the hospital and all that had taken place that day, and not on the man lying next to her in her old bed.

"What are you doing…? Shouldn't you be sleeping?" Ty's sleepy voice murmured beside her. Amy turned her head toward him, surprised that he was awake because she had been pretty sure he had fallen asleep a while ago.

"Nothing… Just checking my phone", Amy explained, turning to face him. Ty reached out and wrapped Amy in his arms, pulling her closer so she could not reach out to mess with her phone again. He wanted her to able to catch some sleep before morning.

"Right… Is this one of those "how many hours do I have left before I have to wake up" kind of things?" Ty guessed, knowing all about those.

"No, I was just checking if I had taken my phone off mute and turned up the volume, in case Lou calls or texts", Amy explained, simultaneously adjusting her small fists between them as she curled up in the safety of her husband's arms. The crook of his arm was warm and welcoming and as Amy inhaled the smell of Ty's after shave, she felt herself beginning to relax.

"And did you have the volume up?" Ty asked, without even opening his eyes to observe his wife's answer as he already knew it. Besides, he was hoping to get back to sleep soon, and he didn't want to be any more awake than he already was.

"Yeah, I did", Amy confirmed, entwining her legs with Ty's.

"Then stop looking at your phone and go to sleep", Ty responded as he tried to show that Amy's worries that had been keeping her awake were solved. His tone was firm, but came across as loving and caring, as he caressed Amy's back gently, hoping his words would have the desired effect and she would be able to go to sleep now.

"I just– I hate this feeling…" Amy started talking as Ty listened. "I'm so worried about Lou. I didn't worry about her situation as much when we were staying at the trailer because it wasn't really my responsibility. Now it's like I've become a victim of karma. I had my own life and my own marriage to be happy about, but now that I'm back here, it's like the guilt of not caring is slapping me in the face. Have I changed too much, Ty? Was I trying to fool myself thinking that what was out of sight was out of mind? How can I be happy when my sister is going through all of this?" her voice got frail as she continued talking that Ty opened his eyes to better assess Amy's condition. He didn't want Amy to be upset, so this line of thought from her called for immediate attention.

"Amy…" he laid his hand gently on her cheek to stop her rambling chatter. "You care - a lot - and I love you for that, but you have to draw the line somewhere. You can't carry Lou's worries for her, you were right when you said that Lou was not your responsibility. She's a grown woman."

"But–"

"No buts", Ty responded as he rejected her tries to justify her train of thought. "You can worry about her, of course you can, but it doesn't mean you should let it take over your life. I don't think Lou's blaming you for anything. And to think that what happened with Katie is some kind of cosmic payback… well, quite frankly, it's ridiculous. You can't put your life on hold just because you're happy and your sister is not. It's nothing for you to feel guilty about. People have different things going on in their lives and that's completely fine. I'm sure Lou wouldn't want you to be this miserable, especially when you're just beginning this new life with me. Do you remember how much she wanted us to get married? And for what? You think now she would want you to be sad about it? I don't think so."

"But she's my sister", Amy retorted, "and we should support each other. I feel like me being happy makes her feel like I'm rubbing my successful marriage in her face", Amy admitted to herself, that this was something she felt had been building in her for months now. She knew it wasn't fair to her and Ty, but she couldn't help herself.

"That's crazy talk, Amy. Lou knew you were getting married before she even officially announced she and Peter were separating. Your marriage and Lou's separation aren't linked to one another just because you are sisters. It's like you said, you have your own life and your own marriage to think about - she has hers. It doesn't mean you shouldn't be a supportive sister. Remember that this marriage should be as important to you as your sister is. Lou wanted to see you happy even when she wasn't. I don't think that her situation has changed that one bit. She has rest of the family for support, not just you. You can allow yourself to be happy, and if you think about it you now, that is what she would want as well. If you think you being sad will make your sister happy, then I don't know the same Lou you do. You should be happy if you are happy", Ty replied. "Besides, didn't you say that she needed to believe in love again? Let's give her something to believe in."

Amy came out of her hiding spot, giving Ty a kiss. She felt like a weight had been lifted off her and felt something expanding in her chest. She had just fallen in love with Ty all over again.

"I love you so much…" she said, realizing once again how lucky she was to have her best friend as her husband. No matter what was weighing on her, she could always talk to him and he always knew how to make her feel better.

"I love you too, Amy. And I hope you allow yourself to be happy, because you're worth it. Everyone's worth happiness…" he whispered in her ear as he wrapped his arms firmly around her.

They snuggled in the bed a little while longer, until they finally fell asleep, their bodies still entwined - not as two separate individuals but as one happily married man and wife.


	17. Chapter 17

"It's crazy to think that while it's so peaceful in here, in this room, the staff is out there saving lives", Lou said as she talked with Peter, noticing they had almost inhaled the sandwiches and drinks he had brought back from the cafeteria.

Peter wiped crumbles from the side of his mouth and nodded, swallowing down the bite of sandwich he had just taken, before he replied:

"They are literally handling matters of life and death", he continued with Lou's train of thought.

He had always thought his work to be stressful, and while it indeed was, Peter was thankful he never had had the kind of responsibility doctors and nurses had. He was good at making quick decisive decisions but they never meant that someone could die if he made the wrong one or acted too slowly and he realized he would have probably been one lousy health professional when facing that kind of pressure on a daily basis - besides he couldn't even take care of himself properly.

"I guess when you think of it like that it gives you somewhat of a different perspective", Lou thought out loud.

Peter watched Lou, feeling like there was more to her words than she was saying and not soon after, he confirmed that there was.

"I mean… This morning, I had no idea what his day was going to be like. I was so worried about getting your stuff out of the house and cleaning the Quonset hut that I let Katie out of my sight." She sighed heavily, once again realizing how she had messed up. Peter decided it was time to listen to Lou as she had with him earlier and let tell him how she viewed what had happened. He was beginning to understand more how hard it must have been for Lou to have let him vent earlier without interruption. "If I could just go back in time and tell my past self how I was too hung up on things that really don't have that much meaning at the end of the day…"

Listening to Lou speak, Peter got to thinking.

"If you'd have a chance to travel back in time, to the moment we met, would you change things…? Tell me to bugger off as it were?" Peter asked, curious to know if Lou thought that their whole marriage had been a waste. She must have had thoughts about things, just like he had, especially if she had been so focused on getting rid of all reminders of him from her own life now that they were separated.

"I guess not", Lou admitted. "I mean, even if the road to where we are now has been painful and stressful, it's… still our story, and who would I really be without having that in my life? And I know, my way of seeing our marriage is a sad way to look at it, but I can't help it, it's how I feel. It's what I remember the most about it… I guess the hurt is just too real."

She didn't look at Peter, it was hard enough to keep herself together as it was, and the feeling she was getting from his softer approach wasn't helping her either. Lou didn't want to go back to that push and pull routine they had always had, but this was new ground for her and she was not sure what to say or if she need to say anything at all.

"But there were some good times too, weren't there?" Peter replied hoping it had not all been bad. It was the good times that he tried to focus on during his time away from his family. "Like, the kids", Peter questioned, searching for some type of common ground they could try and build on.

"Yes, of course. And just because the first things that come to my mind about our marriage are the bad things, doesn't mean there wasn't some good stuff too. I guess… it's the same with you as a person. Just because I nag you about the same things over and over again, doesn't mean I don't think you are a good person. Maybe it's easier for me to be mad at you for your traits and flaws because it's easier than to admit that we should have gone into this marriage differently", Lou responded. "I mean, that's just devastating to think about, isn't it? That we've both wasted so many years only for things to end up this way."

"Is that what you think? That we've wasted these years?" Peter asked, knitting his brows together. He had always thought that he couldn't wait to get married to Lou and start a family with her, but perhaps she hadn't felt the same way. "Are trying to say you think we should have waited and not rushed into it?" Peter questioned, hoping that he was wrong but feeling that was just what she had meant.

"Yeah", Lou said truthfully. "Maybe it would have saved us from many heartaches."

"Could be", Peter admitted, nodding. "I mean, when I think back at those times, me proposing to you, us getting married and moving to Dubai… I'm not proud of it. I mean, it's not how I would do it now, but maybe it's just the perspective speaking now that I know how things turned out. Back then, everything felt right, but now I can see I didn't have the control even though I thought that by doing those things I would actually have my life together. I guess I was too proud to admit that I didn't want to seem weak next to you. It's like you had it all figured out."

"Me?" Lou laughed bemusedly. "Are you kidding me? I have never had it figured out… I only act like I have. To tell you the truth, I keep going back to my decision to stay in Hudson instead of going back to New York all the time. How different would my life be if I had just gone back to my own life. Would I have been happy… Because right now, happiness is just fleeting moments and not this constant faith in something greater than myself, like I would want it to be."

"What do you think then? Would you have been happier?" Peter asked, thinking how different things might have been for him as well if Lou's mother had not died and her family had needed her here to take care of things at Heartland.

"No. I don't think I knew what I wanted until I had it. I was just hoping to figure it out as I went along. And when we married, I realized I wanted that, I wanted a family. I wanted life here where I feel like myself. Where I can be as messy as I am and not pretend to be something that I'm not", Lou spoke, shrugging a little. "It's hard to explain to you, because I think we are so different in that. It's like this worked for you… you being in Vancouver, us being here. But I needed the whole family together, that's what feels the most natural to me."

"Well, to tell you the truth, I don't really even like it in Vancouver. I mean, I love the job, but coming home to an empty apartment… it's not what I imagined it to be. Having Skype calls with the girls few times a week just doesn't feel as good as reading them a bed time story or helping them with school work. But I just… I don't know what to do. I feel like a stranger in a strange land here. It has felt like everyone's just been trying to push me away ever since I came into your life…" Peter exclaimed, shaking his head as he was trying to find the words to explain his loneliness in a crowd.

It was shocking for Lou to hear about Peter's feeling of being pushed away, but at the same time she realized that Peter probably had a point. No one had ever bonded with him over the years, it felt like he was just the father to the girls, not part of the family. Lou had always figured it was because he was never around and didn't have time to spend with the rest of the family, but she now realized that even when he was around, no one was making an effort to make him feel at home - sadly, she realized, this also included her.

"Where do you feel like most at home then?" Lou asked. Living arrangements had always been one of their biggest problems as they had never come to an agreement where would be the best place for them to live. "Like, if you imagine the feeling of home… where are you?"

"Easy", Peter began, "I'm with you and the girls, watching the eclipse or having a water fight with the hoses and buckets… It's you and the girls. You are my home. – But I don't know where I belong physically and I just can't figure that out", he continued. "I don't want to tie myself down to anywhere that doesn't feel as much like home as you and the girls do to me. I know you feel like Heartland is your home and Vancouver is my home. What I don't know is what's the in-between for us. I was hoping that I would be able to tear you away from what you believe is the place for us and show you that maybe there's something just as good - or maybe even better - out there, and that's where Vancouver came in. I didn't think it would be our forever home, just something temporary before we'd find that place to have our first, real home - together. Not your home, not my home, our home. But the thing I'm slowly realizing is that you can take a girl out of Heartland, but you can't take Heartland out of the girl…"

"So that's why you never wanted to live here…" Lou said as she felt like things were beginning to fall into a place. Maybe he had always tried to tell her that, but she had just been too stubborn to listen. "But you don't wanna live in Vancouver either?" that was something she was still confused about.

"Not like this, no. But it is what it is… I go to work and try and forget everything for a while, but when I'm around you, I feel like it's something I have to figure out, because we all deserve a home and it's frustrating because I just don't know what to do. I'm really afraid that I can't give it to you…" Peter said, evidently choked up. "But I can't let you just wait for me to figure it out. I realize that it's a decision that's been due for seven years now."

"You know… this might be the longest conversation we've had in those seven years", Lou said, realizing she had never really gotten into Peter's head like this before. It was like all those re-entry pains and frustrations had gotten in the way of their marriage and they had forgotten who they even were as a couple.

"Yeah, it probably is", Peter agreed, looking at Lou. "Maybe we've found common ground from where I think we both felt there was no common ground."

"What do you mean?" Lou asked.

"Well, this isn't your place or my place, this is just… this neutral turf and we are stuck in it. There's no safety in that for either of us, we are both equally vulnerable here", Peter tried to explain. "We can't escape because there is no escaping to our usual routines from this place. Here is all there is right now, all that matters."

"Promise me something", Lou said, turning toward Peter, "when this is all over, when we get out of here, that we keep this line of conversation open. We will keep talking, and treat each other like human beings and won't go back to how things were. We aren't bad people, we're just… a mess."

"Okay", Peter agreed, nodding. "I promise you, Lou, that I will do that."

And right at that second, the door to the waiting room opened and a nurse pushed her head in.

"Mr. and Mrs. Morris, you can see your daughter now."


	18. Chapter 18

When Lou and Peter entered Katie's room, the girl looked like she was half asleep. She was clearly exhausted from the day, having been through her near-death experience, seizures and then the various tests to make sure everything was functioning as it should.

"Katie, honey…" Lou sputtered, almost in tears as the feeling of relief of finally reuniting with her daughter washed over her.

Peter followed Lou, and they quickly took places on either sides of the hospital bed. An exhausted Katie looked up at them and smiled as she tried to force her eyes to stay open as she recognized the familiar faces. After dealing with bunch of strangers - for what must have seemed like forever for her - they were a much needed sight.

"Mommy… Daddy…" she said with her high pitched voice, the questioning tone of her voice almost sounded as if she was asking if they were real.

"Yes, Mommy and Daddy are here", Peter assured her, taking Katie's small hand, cupping it between his own two hands. "How are you feeling, honey?" he worried when she sounded smaller than she seemed.

"Sleepy…" she said. "I wanna go home…"

"I know, but we have to stay just a little while longer, baby. The doctors insisted", Lou let her know, caressing her fair hair. If it had been up to her, Lou would have taken her daughter home right then and do everything she could to make Katie happy, but she also understood that the closer they were to the medical staff, the better at the moment. After all, she wanted to be sure that Katie was absolutely, one-hundred percent, alright before they took her home.

"Can I go riding then?" Katie slurred, slowly closing her eyes as she began drifting off to sleep.

"We'll see. You just rest now", Peter exhorted, feeling relieved to see that even though Katie was tired, she looked and was sounding like her old self.

How many times had he just sat by her bed, thinking how everything about her was perfect, the long eyelashes, her button nose and small, rosy red lips. Looking at her lying in the bed, he knew beyond a shadow of doubt that he that he had almost lost that perfection today and he would always harbor the worry that something like this could happen again. So, while he was relieved that she seemed to be doing so well, he was also afraid and had doubts about what he future could hold.

When Lou noticed the nurse making some adjustments to the monitors that were keeping track on Katie's vitals, she thought to ask for an update.

"How is her blood?"

"We've given her the medication and now we will have to wait till morning to see how it has affected it. We'll keep checking her throughout the night, don't worry", the nurse said, understanding their concern perfectly.

"So, do you think it'll happen again? The stroke, I mean", Peter wanted to know.

Katie seemed okay now, but Peter knew that as soon as they left the hospital, the fear of it happening again would creep to their minds and it would be all they would think about. Having an official statement from a professional would help ease their minds - at least little bit.

"There's always a possibility, but it's highly unlikely if we find the right treatment. Right now, blood thinners are our best bet. If it looks like her body responds well to them, there should not be any more clots", the nurse explained. "When we find the right combination for her, we'll be sure to tell you more about them and the side effects."

"What are the symptoms of a stroke we should be watching for?" Lou inquired, making sure she knew and remembered as many of them as she could in case something did occur. She knew she was probably going to be obsessive about every move Katie made, but she hoped that the fear of the stroke would fade away over time as soon as she noticed that Katie was doing just fine.

"Numbness in her body - usually on one side -, slurred speech, problems forming sentences, not seeing clearly, headaches, vomiting and dizziness…" the nurse listed the possible tell tail signs. "I think you'll notice if it happens. It's pretty easy with a child her age, especially since you're her parents and know how she acts normally."

Peter nodded, remembering "the angels" Katie had seen just before her seizure at the hospital. It wasn't an image he was able to shake off easily. If that ever happened again, he wanted to know how to act in that situation, so he asked.

"If there's another seizure, what should we do?"

"Try and protect her from injuring herself, create a safe area for her. Do not force anything in her mouth, don't try to hold her down or move her because that could cause even more damage. Should a seizure occur, turn her on her side so any fluid can leak out of her mouth after it's passed. Don't let her drink or eat anything until she's fully awake. Loosen tight clothes around her neck or waist and stay with her until she's okay", the nurse educated them.

"Thank you", Lou said, turning back to Katie who was now sleeping.

The girl's breathing was now slower and she looked more content and she had pursed her lips in her sleep just like she always did. It made Lou smile because it reminded her of Katie's world of innocence she was still in even after everything bad that had happened to her.

"If you're okay here, I will go and do my rounds", the nurse informed them.

"Yes. Thank you", added Peter before the nurse left.

When it was just the three of them, Peter returned his gaze to the bed where he watched his wife looking at their daughter and something shifted in him. He had that feeling of connection to something again, like he had had back at Heartland when Katie was born, and he was surprised to find himself feeling that way in such a hopeless place and time.

"Lou… I know we've had our problems and things are still a mess, but... I do still love you", Peter spoke, grabbing Lou's attention. "And I don't want you to say anything... I want you to know that I don't expect anything from you", he added before Lou could even open her mouth, "but just know that I do still feel that way, ring or no ring, and I'll always will. I married you for a reason, and even if everything wasn't as good as we had hoped it to be, I don't regret it for a minute, even if I regret the way I did things and the way it turned out. Maybe we won't be husband and wife anymore, that's up for us to decide at the end of this year, but we are, and always will be, parents to our girls, and right now that's the most important thing to me. And that is why I'm gonna go and call work to let them know I'm gonna take some time off for personal reasons. I wanna be here with you girls… if you will let me."

"But… are you sure? Didn't you just tell me few days ago that you have a lot of important meetings this week?" Lou said as she recalled a conversation they had had over the phone during the weekend, as they had caught up on things.

"Yeah, I do, but… nothing is as important as this," Peter said, sounding very determined. "So… would it be okay if I stayed at the Dude Ranch? I wanna be close to you."

Lou was almost stunned. She didn't know what she had expected to happen after today, but this line of communication and Peters request was not one of them. And it took her by surprise.

After a while, she nodded clumsily.

"Yeah, I think that can be arranged", Lou replied. "I know the girls would love to have you here", she added.

"And what about you?" Peter asked carefully.

"I think... it'd be good for us too", she said, wondering if that had came out wrong. But his words did something in her and she wanted to cherish this fragile state of understanding they had reached after their fight. It was up to them to make things right, after all.

"Okay then. I'm gonna go and call my boss", Peter said, taking out his phone.

"But, Peter", Lou stopped him on his way out of the door, "it's really late… or early, depends how you look at it. Your boss must be sleeping." She was not even fully aware what time it was, but figuring since the hospital had quieted down, it was probably past midnight.

"So he'll get mad. If losing a little sleep is going to bother him that much after what has happened to us today, then I don't care. I need to do this for me, Lou, and I need to get it out of the way now, it's that important to me", Peter said and left the room, the phone already dialed and up to his ear.

Lou watched him as he walked out, wondering how different he seemed now. He was more confident, and when it came to his family, more determined to make things right and put them first. He seemed like the kind of man she had wanted for seven years.

So why was he like this now?

Had it taken this kind of a tragedy for them to really open up and let their feelings out?

Lou wasn't sure if she was supposed to feel happy about it - especially because she could not take joy from what had happened to Katie and because she wasn't sure where this was all going with Peter.

Was she even ready for whatever this was, when just this morning she had been thinking about moving on and then later the whole ring debacle?


	19. Chapter 19

Jade leaned against the girl's bathroom's sink and waited for the sound of the flushing toilet to subside, so they could hear each other again. Georgie had just finished telling her about her crazy weekend, mostly of it focusing on the fact her little sister, Katie, had almost drowned the day before.

"Oh my god… Is Katie, like, okay?" Jade gasped when Georgie came out of the booth to wash her hands.

As Georgie's best friend, Jade was usually on top of everything related to her life, but last night she had gotten a cryptic text message from Georgie, simply saying, "had a crazy weekend, will tell you all about tomorrow at school".

Though she had wanted to text her back and ask for her to explain as she thought about it, Jade had figured this had to be something Georgie felt more comfortable telling her in person for some reason. Maybe she needed some time to clear her head before speaking to anyone about it or she wanted to know more about what was going on before she told her.

Whatever it was, Jade was happy to support her friend.

"I guess so. Lou and Peter sent a text this morning, saying they are going to be able to bring Katie home today", Georgie said, rinsing her hands under the running water.

"Thank god…" Jade said, sighing out of relief. "So what happened? How come she was at the pond alone?"

"I don't really know… Lou's been at the hospital almost the whole time. She came home for a short time and then rushed off for the hospital again without saying a thing - or so I was told by Amy. Peter came from Vancouver and has been there with her as well, so… I've kind of felt like the odd one out, if you know what I mean", Georgie confided in her friend while drying her hands. "I guess I'll know more about it when they come home."

It felt good for Georgie to finally be able to tell about Katie's accident to someone who wasn't immediate family because everything had been weighing on her since yesterday. Knowing that someone else knew about her troubles seemed to lighten the load. She no longer had to feel like she had to keep up the front of being in control - with Jade she could just relax and be herself. Jade was a great friend who gave Georgie her full attention and never made her feel like she was a burden to her. She also was able to give good advice as she was not part of the situation and thus could see it from and objective point of view.

"You must be crazy worried", Jade replied knowing Georgie well enough to make that observation. She was an only child herself, but she had witnessed how close Georgie was with Katie and understood how huge this must have been for her and her family. Georgie wasn't really one to show emotions, but Jade had gotten pretty good at reading her and that skill rewarded her once again and allowed Georgie to open up even more.

"Yeah, I am. But at the same time…" Georgie stopped before continuing, wondering if she should even say it out loud. Something about her told not to, but as per usual, she felt like following her impulses instead of holding back. "I don't know, I feel like they didn't really involve me in any of it. Does that make sense…?"

Before Jade could say anything, another booth's door swung open and out walked none other than Olivia Wheaton, Georgie's biggest nemesis.

"Oh, makes perfect sense to me", she chimed in, walking to one of the sinks. Georgie and Jade followed her with their gaze, frustrated by the fact that she seemed to always be in the right place at the wrong time. "I mean, the fact that you don't feel like part of the family must mean you're actually not part of the family", Olivia gave her unwanted opinion.

"Shut up, you don't know what you're talking about!" Georgie hissed, irritated about Olivia's ability to find her Achilles' heel no matter what the topic was.

"Oh, really? You don't even call them Mom and Dad - but Lou and Peter. I mean, what kind of emotional attachment issues do you have", Olivia questioned, fanning the flames. "If you think about it…" she said, patting her hands dry with a paper towel, "had Katie died, they would have been stuck with just you. I mean, that would have been the true tragedy here and not Katie's death, wouldn't it?"

Georgie wasn't sure what got into her, but something snapped in her head, and the last thing she remembered before witnessing Olivia on the floor, her nose and chin covered in blood, was the look on her face and Jade yelling, "GEORGIE, NO!"

While Georgie was sitting outside the principal's office and waiting for Jack to come and talk to the head of the school, she had time to think. Something about what Olivia had said still haunted her.

Ever since Lou had forgotten to pick her up from the trick riding practice, this insecurity of not being that important had begun to gnaw at her. She knew that Lisa had explained that Lou's mind had been elsewhere at the time and it had made sense in Georgie's head back then, but after not hearing from her parents for over 12 hours, Georgie was starting to feel lonely and neglected again.

And the feeling that she had thought to be just a fleeting one, was now poisoning her mind, and after Olivia had painted the picture she had in front of her, that feeling had taken root and she could not shake it.

What if Katie had really died? What would have happened then? Was she just an after thought? Would they even care about her?

The thought about her being the only child scared Georgie, mostly because she had never felt that she was good enough for anyone, even more so to think of as their only child. From the moment she had arrived at Heartland, she had noticed Lou and Peter had begun to drift apart, and in some way, Georgie was beginning to think she was the reason for that.

It was like she was a bad omen of some kind; everyone's lives always fell apart around her. It couldn't just be a coincidence.

As she heard heavy footsteps approaching, Georgie jerked her head up. She knew from the sound - and now seeing the way Jack walked - he was angry. As she watched him walk toward her, seated in front of the office, she saw a prime example of that.

"Jack, I…" Georgie started to defend herself as she noticed his frustration. Even from the way he twitched his mustache told her he was not in a good mood, but Jack was quick to hold up his and letting her know he was not in a listening mood.

"Save it…"

His tone was one that she had not ever heard before. Georgie knew she didn't even dare to argue. If there was one person who knew how to keep her in line, it was Jack Bartlett.

Jack knocked on the principal's door and waited, not even looking at Georgie as he was so disappointed in her and didn't want to stir his emotions any further. When the door was answered, the principal lead them in and asked them to sit down.

"Thank you for coming, Mr. Bartlett", Mrs. Jenkins said when she sat behind her desk, facing the old man and his great-granddaughter. "As you probably understand, this was something that needed both of our immediate attention."

"Yes, of course. And I hope that you've already received Georgie's sincere apology for what happened", Jack said, evidently humiliated that this was something they still had to deal with after years of trying to overcome Georgie's impulsive behavior.

"Well, that's the thing. She says she didn't do anything wrong", Mrs. Jenkins explained. Georgie didn't even bother to look her in the eyes, but sat there sulking, playing with the strings of her hoodie. "And if Georgie shows no sign of remorse, we can't help her and we have no choice but to expel her."

"Mrs. Jenkins, if I may", Jack was quick to jump in and to try his last attempt to save whatever was there to save. "Georgie's been going through a lot lately; her parents are separating and just yesterday her little sister was in a serious accident–"

"Yes, I have been informed about her parents' situation by her mother", Mrs. Jenkins explained. "But just because she's having hard time at home, doesn't mean we would excuse this kind of violent behavior. Hitting another student is a serious offence, Mr. Bartlett."

"Yes, of course, I completely agree. I'm not saying that this justifies any of her actions, I'm just trying to understand why she would do such thing", continued Jack, "so that we would know what to fix."

"This isn't the first time it has happened according to Miss Wheaton", the principal was quick to point out. "She said that Georgie has hit her before and she's beginning to fear that she will hit her again. I'm sensing a violent pattern here and it needs to be stopped."

"That's because she deserved to be punched", Georgie said, no longer able to stay quiet because the adults were talking about her like she wasn't even in the room. She couldn't just let Olivia get away with it because she was the real bully here, not her. "You don't see me hitting anyone else. I've only punched her because she can't keep her mouth shut!"

"See what we are dealing here…?" Mrs. Jenkins pointed out and sighed. Jack nodded, ashamed of Georgie's behavior. "I'm sorry to say this, Mr. Bartlett, but I think the best thing for us and for Olivia Wheaton would be if Georgie no longer went to school here until she can show her violent impulses have been contained. I would advise you to look into counselling. I hope that whatever problems her parents are dealing with right now get solved, but in the meantime, the family should give immediate attention to the way Georgie behaves before anyone else gets hurt."

"Don't worry, I'll take care of it", Jack assured, feeling guilty they had even let it go this far.


	20. Chapter 20

Jack waited until he and Georgie were in his truck before he exploded.

"What the hell you were thinking - or were you thinking anything at all?!" He squeezed the steering wheel so tight his knuckles turned white. "Your parents are coming home from the hospital today with your little sister who was in what-could-have-been a fatal accident - and here you are, getting yourself expelled! Don't you think this family has had enough trouble for one week - hell, even a year?!"

"Jack, you gotta listen to me! It wasn't my fault!" Georgie replied. She wasn't about to be intimidated by the volume level or sound of his voice, as she was certain of her own stand and her reason for doing what she had done. If only she could make Jack see what had happened from her point of view, maybe he would have more sympathy for her and less for Olivia.

"Wasn't your fault?" he echoed in a very sarcastic tone. "It was your fist that met her nose, wasn't it? And the fact that this wasn't even the first time you hit her and you still don't get it - I thought we were done with this type of behavior!" Jack said, feeling sorry for Olivia and also humiliated for the whole family. "You do realize she's scared of you, right?"

"Good! She should be. That ought to teach her not to speak to me like that ever again", Georgie muttered, crossing her arms over her chest in rebellion.

"No, not good", Jack said, shaking his head, not believing what he was hearing. "This is the opposite of good. We've taught you to be better than this, know when to pick your battles. No matter what that girl said, you should never answer with violence."

"You're one to talk", Georgie scoffed, looking straight ahead with a stubborn expression.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jack was baffled.

"Like you haven't used your fists to attack someone who attacked you verbally", the girl pointed out. "Talking about picking your battles… You're such a hypocrite!"

Jack had to admit Georgie had a point, but he still hoped her to be better person than he was. He regretted the times he had decided to take the wrong kind of action, one prime example being the time he had got into a huge fight with Tim that had almost left him killed. If he could not nip Georgie's violent behavior in the bud, this could lead into a very destructive way of living.

"Okay, so I'm no better than you, I think we can agree on that, but you have to understand how serious this is. Even though we take the fall for it as your guardians, you still have to understand that this not only hurts Olivia - as this could traumatize her for the rest of her life - but also you. Do you realize your whole academic career might be in jeopardy right now, all because you couldn't hold yourself back?" Jack was trying to make Georgie understand how serious this was. "After all the lengths your parents have gone to get you an education and better grades, this is how you repay them?"

"Who cares, anyway? School sucks, you don't even learn the real stuff there, just stupid, useless information no one's ever gonna use after graduation", Georgie claimed. "The best thing about getting expelled is that I don't have to see Olivia's stupid face ever again."

"Well, you are wrong about that", Jack assured her, putting his seat belt on. "Because you can count on me and your parents making sure that you understand the consequences of your actions and how you've hurt Olivia, and you will apologize to her, face to face - whether you like it or not!"

"Yeah, right!?" Georgie exclaimed. "She's the one who should apologize to me!"

"Okay…" Jack decided it was time to take a breather before his heart started acting up again due to the stress. "You're clearly too hung up on the whole situation to understand what has just happened. I think it's best for all of us if we just let you think about what you've done and we'll talk about it when you've settled down. From now on, you're grounded until further notice."

"Says who?!" the girl protested.

"Says me", Jack empathized. "As long as your parents are busy with Katie, I'm in charge, so you will do as you're told. And that's the end of it", Jack hurriedly added before Georgie had a chance to say anything else. "Now, buckle up."

It was needless to say, the drive back to Heartland was quiet and full of tension.

Lisa stood by her truck and waited as the Morris-Fleming family came out from the hospital. Katie sat in a wheelchair, pushed down the lane by a nurse, while Lou and Peter were walking along on either side of her.

She would not say it out loud - as the state of Lou and Peter's relationship was so fragile right now -but Lisa could see that something was different about the two of them. The way they looked at Katie, then back at each other, they were smiling like she had not seen them smile in a long time. Then, as if she really needed confirmation of what she saw, Peter reached out to touch Lou's shoulder lovingly. Lisa did not speak about it as she didn't want to spoil it by blurting out something that would make them uncomfortable, but she had to admit it was good to see the family together again.

"Hey, there's my beautiful little girl!" Lisa spoke joyfully as they approached.

"Lisa!" Katie said in a cheerful voice. She would have jumped out of the wheelchair and run to her waiting arms had Peter not been aware that she might be tempted to do just that and was quick to stop her.

"Honey, you have to stay in the chair", he reminded her, gently holding Katie back by her shoulder. "Remember what we talked about inside? You have to take it easy and sit on the chair till we're at the truck. And then when we get home as well for a while."

"We almost are", Katie argued. She was happy to see Lisa as she had not seen her godmother and great-grandmother in a while, and it took everything in her not to wiggle out the chair and run to her.

"Just a little while longer", Lisa prompted, deciding to help out the parents with their efforts. Peter acknowledged it with an appreciative smile.

"Thanks for picking us up, Lisa", Lou said, reaching out to give her a hug.

It had been a long night and they were all exhausted. Having someone like Lisa, who was one of the few people on earth that Lou trusted to take care of everything properly, there to help them get home allowed her to finally begin to relax.

"No problem. I'm happy to do this", Lisa assured, looking down at Katie who had just been released from the chair. She saw the little girl headed towards her arms out her and mouth wide open.

"Oh, no! I am going to be eaten by a piranha?"

Katie looked at her and wondered what a piranha was, but Lisa was now showing fear on her face and Katie, who was headed at her at full steam, suddenly stopped. She started looking everywhere for this piranha thing - whatever it was.

"I don't see anything Lisa. What's a piranha…?" Katie asked as she continued to look around.

"Well, it's this fish that's known for its powerful jaws - and it's right there", Lisa informed her, as she wrinkled her nose and pointed at Katie. "So if you'd stick out your finger like this", she continued, reaching out her index finger, "the piranha would attack and snap it right off!" Lisa quickly closed the finger inside of her left fist, making Katie jolt a little bit.

"I'm no piranha!" the little girl insisted, "I am a Katie!"

It made the whole family laugh a little which was a welcomed reaction after everything that had happened.

"I think maybe you're right. I think you just might be my little Katie after all", Lisa said, amused by the way children took everything so literally. She bent down and opened her arms and welcomed Katie with a big hug, then looking at her again. "You wanna sit in the front seat? - If it's okay with your Mom and Dad, that is", she said, looking at Lou and Peter, checking to see if that was okay.

"Yeah!" Katie yelled out of excitement, waving her hands above her head. She was about to run off, but Peter quickly wrapped her in his arms.

"Easy there, Katie Kat! No need for you to get hurt before you get home."

 _Yeah, Katie was definitely back to normal…_ Peter thought, feeling like he better be watching her every second. The girl was so spontaneous and lively that it was sometimes hard to keep up with her.

It was no wonder she had been able to slip away from Lou.

"Katie, honey, you can't just run off like that", Peter explained to her. As Lou saw that the father had it under control, she continued to exchange few more words with Lisa.

"When we get home, we need to have a family meeting because I want everyone to know what's going on with Katie and how it'll affect our lives from here on out", Lou explained. "She's taking some medication now, so we need make sure she takes it easy till we see how she's adapting."

"That's a good idea", Lisa agreed. "Oh - and Jack called Tim, explained what's been going on. He should be back home with Casey soon. I think he'd like to help, maybe run Maggie's while you take the time to get Katie into her new routine. And I would - of course - be delighted to take care of the Dude Ranch. So don't you worry about a thing. I think it's important that you get to be with Katie right now."

"Thank you. It's been such a crazy day and night and I haven't even taken time to think about all that stuff", Lou admitted, not even feeling guilty for being what she would have a day earlier seen as a bad business owner as she had learned she cared more about being a good mother than a good business woman.

"Well, we've got it", Lisa assured her, gently rubbing Lou's shoulder. "You just get in the truck and I'll get you all home."

"Thanks, Lisa. We really do appreciate it", Lou said, getting in the truck.

Peter was ensuring that Katie was strapped into her seat up front with Lisa. When the child had been secured, he got into the back seat and sighed a little. Having Katie at the hospital had been safe, but taking her back home would be a whole new territory with maximized dangers due to her blood thinners.


	21. Chapter 21

Amy was reading through her mom's journals in the barn office when she heard a truck approaching the ranch from sound of gravel as it was pressed under the wheels of the vehicle. She closed the journal, placed it back to the shelf and walked out to welcome her client who was exactly on time. Amy was pleased to have the distraction, as she was still worried about Lou and Katie. With horses, she was able to turn off everything else and just focus on the task at hand.

The client parked his truck that had a horse trailer attached and then stepped out and came to shake hands with Amy. He was a middle aged Native man, wearing typical cowboy clothing and a disarming smile.

"You must be the famous Miracle Girl", the quiet man with the assuming smile said as he reached out his hand to her. Amy smiled back, always feeling a bit shy whenever anyone referred to her by that title. She didn't feel like she performed miracles, she just listened to the horses - simple as that. "I'm Jim Locklear."

"Amy Fleming. Nice to meet you", Amy said as she gave his hand a firm squeeze. "And this must be…" her glance drifted toward the trailer, trying to move the conversation to the horse.

"Merlin", the man said. "You wanna take a look?" he asked, already walking to the trailer. Amy followed him, recalling a foal named "Merlin" from her past.

"Yes, please", Amy said, following him. "So what's the problem with him again?" she asked, wanting to make sure that she had gotten everything they had talked about on the phone right.

"Well, he's very hostile when it comes to feeding. Whenever I try to give him hay or concentrates, he attacks me, kind of like a dog protects his food bowl. I think he's just trying to scare me off to protect his food. I tried to calm him down the other day and stayed close to him, and he bit me, hard enough to break the skin on my arm through my jacket. That's when I decided that I needed help, so I called you. I'd love to have my daughter feed him because they are inseparable otherwise, but I just don't feel comfortable putting her in danger like that", Jim explained. "I just don't get it. He's very gentle otherwise, but as soon as you approach his bucket, he loses it."

Amy nodded, understanding very well Jim's concerns. She then began to ask questions, taking in all the info she could get.

"So, do you know his history?" she asked as she began to map out a profile in her mind from his answers while Jim was unloading the horse. Amy wanted to know every possible detail that could help her understand why the horse was acting the way he was. She knew the first thing she would to do was try to form a bond with the animal so he would trust her to have his best interest in mind. Only after that she could try to figure out and break the pattern that was causing him so much anxiety.

"Well, not much actually", Jim said apologetically. "It's my understanding that he has had many owners. Maybe that should have been a sign to me that there was something wrong with him, because he is such a beautiful horse with a wonderful disposition. Who knows what's gone down in those places that might have brought this on in the first place. But my daughter saw him and fell in love with him and they hit it off right away. As I said, he is gentle in every way, except his eating habits. I don't want to be the next last owner. I pray that with your help he'll hopefully have a home with us where he can stay for the rest of his life. I don't wanna sell him because of this, but we need help."

Amy nodded, understanding what he was saying.

As soon as she saw the horse, Amy knew she had worked with this one before - only Merlin had been a foal back then.

"I know this guy", Amy noted, coming closer. She had worked with a lot of horses over the years, each and every one of them had left a hoof print in her heart and therefore she never forgot them, no matter how much time passed.

"You do?" a very surprised, but happy, Jim replied. This was not something he had expected to happen. He was also wondering why the horse had been treated by Amy before; had she not been successful hence the reason Merlin was still acting the way he was. Her reputation told him not to believe such thing, but Jim still wanted to know more about Merlin and Amy's past together before he assumed anything more.

"Yeah. It was years ago, though, he was just a foal back then. He was the cutest little rascal…"

She smiled, recalling how Merlin had been like a baby to her and Ty. When it had been his time to go, they had shed tearful goodbyes - or more like, Ty had.

"It's nice to see him again. Good to know he's found a loving home", she continued, then looking at Jim. "I will do everything I can to make sure he is able to stay there."

The horse looked healthy and he was as calm as Jim had said him to be. When Amy approached him, Merlin didn't seem to mind, as he was clearly sensing that he had known this person before.

"Imagine, of all the people…" Jim said, petting Merlin's neck, deciding that the horse's story was far too complex to place blame on anyone. What mattered right now was Amy being able to find what was causing Merlin's problem and fixing it. "Looks like he remembers you, Amy", he noticed, "maybe that'll help you when you work with him?"

"Let's hope so", Amy said, rubbing circles around his neck carefully. "That's a good boy…" she murmured softly to him.

They were just about to take Merlin inside the barn when Jack's truck pulled up in front of the the ranch house. Amy knew he had gone somewhere earlier and he had been in a hurry, but since they had not had a chance to talk before he left, Amy had no idea where Jack had gone.

Now she could see Georgie stepping out of the truck and slamming the door behind her. Amy realized something was not right since it was only midday and Georgie wasn't supposed to be out of school for hours. The fact that neither Grandpa nor Georgie had even glanced their way or said hi, as they always did, made her even more curious. Georgie would never pass up the opportunity to meet a new horse and Jack was always friendly to her clients. Amy knew there had to be more to this situation than met the eye, especially by the way Georgie had stormed inside and Jack had trailed her to the house like a hound.

Amy hoped that it was not more bad news, they had had more than enough of that the past few days.

But since she was with a client, she couldn't just go in the ranch house and ask what was going on. Amy decided she would make Merlin feel at home first and then go inside to talk to Grandpa more about what was happening. Maybe Georgie was sick and Jack had been kind enough to get her from school, but as she thought about Georgie's actions she was sure that was not the case.

Either way, she would have to get back to that in a bit as she had a customer she needed to take care of first. Amy returned her attention to Jim and the task at hand.

"Sorry about that", Amy apologized to Jim for the scene as she got back to him. "Let's get Merlin put up in the barn and then we can get the paperwork done."

"Alright", Jim agreed as they walked inside.


	22. Chapter 22

"You come back here and put those sneakers where they belong!" Jack lectured when he saw Georgie's shoes in the middle of the mudroom floor. She had kicked them off there when she came in the house as part of her teenage tantrum, he supposed, before storming off to her room.

Jack heard heavy steps approaching as Georgie returned to the mudroom and began to arrange her sneakers in the line next to the wall. She did it overly politely and with over-exaggerated movements just to annoy Jack even more if she could.

"Does this please your highness?" Georgie asked mockingly, taking another jab at him, trying to rub Jack the wrong way and invoke a typical Jack response she could then counter. If he was going to play this nasty game, she could play it too.

The old man held his breath and his tongue, figuring it was best to not say something that would give Georgie any more reason further her current state of mind, so instead he reached out his hand in front of her, opening his palm.

"What?" the teenager asked, glaring at the hand, not understanding what Jack was trying to imply.

"Your phone", Jack demanded calmly. "Give it to me."

"What?! No!" Georgie said, taking stepping back quickly in fear that Jack would take it by force if she did not co-operate.

"Yes, right now", Jack continued in his now controlled, yet decisive, tone of speech. He had figured yelling didn't help, and hoped the stern emotionless tone would do the trick to make her see how serious he was. "You've been stripped of your privileges. - Maybe that'll make you realize that you don't get to do just anything without having to suffer the consequences", he said in a forceful manner. "This is for your own good."

"Own good my ass", Georgie scoffed, her tone and icy stare almost scaring Jack as she looked almost ready to strike him as she had Olivia.

"That attitude right there is what got you into this problem in the first place!" said Jack, looking at Georgie who was acting like a wild animal backed into a corner, unsure of what her next move might be. "Don't push me any further or your riding privileges will be the next thing I take away. Are we clear?" Jack said, not liking the words or the attitude Georgie had chosen to use. He knew that riding would be the ultimate leverage he could use if the girl didn't show any sign of remorse and respect.

Georgie sighed, not understanding how this was "for her own good", but as she didn't want to lose her time with her horses, she pulled out her cell phone and turned it off so Jack could not go through it without her permission. Georgie figured she would "play nice" just enough so that Jack could see that she wasn't as bad as he thought her to be and then she would gain back her phone privileges sooner rather than later.

What Jack didn't realize, Georgie thought, that losing a phone might have been more effective if she didn't have had her laptop…

"Here", Georgie said, slamming the phone in Jack's palm and then rushing back to her room.

Jack put the cell in his pocket and listened as the girl stomped up the stairs to her bedroom.

"And don't you think you'll be able to keep your computer and WiFi to stay connected with your friends. After all, I have learned a little bit about all that social media stuff that goes on around here!" Jack yelled after her, before hearing Georgie's door slam shut. "Well... I will as soon as I know how to turn that thing off…" he muttered to himself. He wasn't sure what WiFi was exactly or how it worked, but Jack recalled everyone always talking about it and him eventually realizing it had to do with the internet and something called a modem.

Georgie sighed in frustration and threw her backpack into the corner as she would not need it if she wasn't going to go to school for a while. She quickly went to her laptop before Jack could turn off the modem - if he even really did know how to take down the WiFi.

Having no contact with Jade, Stephen or even Adam would be the death of her newly discovered social life. Georgie had to give it to Jack, he knew where to strike to get his way…

Georgie logged into her Facebook account, ignored her feed and went straight to the messenger option. She opened a chat so she could talk to Jade, and slammed her fingers on the keyboard to produce frustration filled words.

 _"I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! THEY EXPELLED ME AND OLIVIA WALKS FREE! JACK TOOK MY PHONE AWAY AND I'M GROUNDED FOR LIKE ETERNITY PROBABLY!"_

She was huffing as she typed and could hardly stay still. The anger in her body was telling her to act out, but she didn't want to trash her room because of Olivia. That bully was not worth it. The only good thing about this situation was, Georgie thought, that she didn't have to go to school, but pretty much everything else sucked.

 _"NO WAY! I'm coming over after school. We can't let her get away with this! I'll talk to Jack, let him know what happened. There's a strength in numbers"_ , was Jade's reply.

Her words were a relief to Georgie because she felt like the world was against her, but she also knew not to rely too much on Jack's forgiving side right now. And once he told his POV to her parents, there would be nothing that Jade or anyone for that matter could do to sway them at first. She would have to let it all set in and wait for things to cool down, then maybe after she had been lectured again and again they would be willing to listen to her side of it.

 _"I don't know if it's going to be so easy this time. To him, Olivia's bleeding nose speaks so much louder than anything that I could say. Jack has said he is going to take away my WiFi too, so if you don't hear from me, send smoke signals or something",_ Georgie wrote, feeling like she was going to cry.

The anger was now subsiding and she felt the depression setting in. She was having a hard enough time as it was with all the things that were part of being a teen and an adopted child, and now as if it were possible Olivia had found ways of making her life even more miserable.

Georgie hated to admit it, but Olivia had gotten under her skin so badly that she didn't know if she was going to be able to ever shake it off. If Olivia had been there, in her room with her right now, Georgie didn't know if she would have been able to hold herself back again.

Then, as if to make matters worse, Georgie heard truck doors slamming shut outside. She got up from her chair and went to her small window that had a view across the yard to the drive. Leaning against the wall and peeking out, Georgie could see Lisa's truck and watched as she got out and helped Katie get out of her seat. From the backseat, she watched Lou and Peter step out carrying Peter's things and a plastic pharmacy bag.

"Great…" Georgie muttered to herself and returned to her laptop. _"Lou and Peter…"_ she began to type, but Olivia's words haunted her and she immediately erased their names, replacing them by Mom and Dad. _"Mom and Dad are here. Probably won't be able to talk much longer… See you when I see you…"_

 _"Fight it, don't let them break you! Demand justice, make them see the truth",_ Jade was like some kind of army leader encouraging her troops before a battle with her words. It made Georgie smile a little, knowing someone was in her corner. Not that long ago that would have been unheard of.

"Thanks, Jade", Georgie typed and as she pressed enter, she heard Katie's voice downstairs, screeching something to Jack.

Georgie wanted to go and hug her dear little sister, but she knew she would be walking into a trap - not one set intentionally, but a trap nonetheless.

Jack, Lou and Peter - Mom and Dad, she reminded herself - were there, and as soon as the welcoming had died down and they had talked with Jack, they would be swarming like some kind of posse, ready to swoop in on her and set her straight. As a teenager, she would have no chance to steer the conversation to a point where they would even be willing to listen to her because their minds were already made up.

After living in the foster parent system with different families since she had been just a little girl, Georgie had noticed that while some adults were nicer than others, they were all the same when it came to arguments; "as long as you're under my roof…" or "I get to have the last word!" were some of her "personal favorites" from the arguments adults used in situations like this.

With her track record, she had heard them more than few times.


	23. Chapter 23

Just as Jack was about to go and make himself a cup of coffee to help calm his nerves, he heard a truck approaching the yard. He turned his head and peered outside through the window over the sink. When he saw it was Lisa's truck being parked just outside the ranch house, he felt relieved - and somewhat terrified - realizing this was Lou and Katie coming home.

Jack was happy to have Lisa around because she always brought that much needed calming effect with her as the life at the Bartlett-Fleming household was hardly ever calm itself. Through these trying times, Lisa's presence would be a big factor in helping Jack cope with the everlasting changes and difficult obstacles he had thought he would never have to face again, especially at his old age.

What was it that they said? _"It takes a village to raise a child?"_

Well, they didn't have a village but they had a big family that could help look after a small child and a teenager.

As he was preparing the coffee, he thought maybe Lisa, Lou and Peter - who had surprisingly decided to tag along, it seemed - could use a cup as well. It was hard telling how much - if any - sleep they had gotten, and they could have been in need a little something to keep them going as well.

He opened the cupboard and pulled down three more mugs, and as he watched them approach the house, Jack thought it was only midday and Lou and Peter had enough troubles ahead of them as they dealt with Katie's situation. Now he was going to have to introduce one more situation that had to be taken care of. While he knew Lou and Peter had a lot on their plates, this could not wait as it was about more than just Georgie getting in trouble; it was about her as a person. And while Jack was willing to help with whatever he could, some decisions had to be made by the parents themselves. He couldn't just take over.

He heard the circus approaching from outside as the voices were beginning to get louder. Finally, the screen door opened and Lou entered the house with Katie by her side.

"GG!" Katie shouted joyfully as soon as she spotted Jack over by the coffee maker.

"Well well well, look who it is!" Jack said as he put down the cups he was holding, then closing the cupboard doors before he turned and came to swoop Katie into his arms. To him, Katie looked like she was back to normal, almost as if nothing had ever happen to her at all. "How's my little princess?"

"I'm okay", Katie said, wrapping her little hands behind Jack's neck. The grandfather was pleased to hear the news.

While he continued hugging Katie, Jack looked over to Lou and Peter, trying to get hints if this was a good day, as had been told him by Katie, or a bad day and there was more to this than what they had told Katie. Since they both smiled, Jack figured maybe he could let out of a sigh of relief as well, at least for now as he had noticed the pharmacy bag in Peter's hands as well.

That was until he remembered he had to be the bearer of another set of bad news, and while this was the last thing he wanted to do, he knew that it could not wait.

"Uh, Katie… why don't you go with Lisa for a little while, your parents and I have something to discuss", Jack suggested, making an eye contact with Lisa. She raised her eyebrows in a questioning manner, but decided maybe she didn't have to know every detail for now in order to help. If Katie needed her, she would be there for her.

"Sounds great. Come on, Katie, let's get you something to eat!" Lisa said, taking the girl from Jack's arms. "What do you want to eat?"

"Ice cream!" Katie shouted, making Lisa laugh.

"How about we eat ice cream later and start with a cucumber sandwich instead?" Jack heard Lisa say when he guided Lou and Peter further.

"What's going on, Grandpa?" Lou asked, sensing something was definitely off.

"This way", he replied, pointing to the back of the house.

Jack led them both to Lou's bedroom so they could have a conversation in private. He knew Georgie could hear them if she wanted to listen in from her room if they had the talk in the living room, and Jack really wanted to have a moment alone with Lou and Peter, without having to fear Georgie would make an uninvited and awkward appearance just when he was starting to share his concerns about the happenings with Georgie this day.

"It's Georgie…" Jack started, making Lou and Peter exchange a look of concern. "She had some trouble at school, so I went to pick her up. She's upstairs now."

"What happened? Is she okay?" Peter asked, furrowing his brow. He wanted to know what kind of trouble they were talking about here.

"She got into a fight", Jack finally announced. "Or more like started a fight and ended it with her fist", he explained, making Lou gasp a little. She covered her mouth with her hands, wondering if they were just doomed as a family. Why did all these things have to happen at once?

"Oh no… Is she okay?" Lou asked. Peter's arm quickly found its way around her to keep her calm.

"Oh, she's fine, just being extremely stubborn", Jack assured, a hint of bitterness in his voice as he had yet to see any remorse from her. Jack had dealt with a lot of people with variety of problems, but Georgie was one of the toughest cases he had ever come across. "She hit a girl, Olivia Wheaton I think her name was. She's the one Georgie did that lamb project with, right? The one Georgie punched when she had that competition with Phoenix few years ago?"

Jack had not thought about it until now. He knew that he had heard that name before but as he was telling Lou and Peter, he began to remember how the two of them had been at odds for years.

"Yeah, that would be her…" Peter said, sighing and closing his eyes. He could still remember the talk they had had with Georgie after that day, and how she had learned to control her anger issues. But now it seemed like that was no longer the case. "So what did Olivia do…?"

"You make it sound like she's at fault here", Jack was surprised by the tone of the statement from Peter, seeing how he didn't even know what had happened. But then, Jack thought to himself, did he really know what had happened either. He knew that Georgie had said that Olivia had said some nasty things, but there were always other ways to solve a problem without the throwing of a punch - and maybe, just maybe, Georgie was feeding of off her parent's problems, and solving it by placing the blame elsewhere.

"Well, as far as I know, that girl is trouble", Peter explained. "She has a big mouth and she's not afraid to use it. Let's just say it doesn't mix well with Georgie's temper."

"She's been nasty to her as long as I can remember", Lou nodded, pitching in her thoughts as they now seemed to be siding with their daughter against Grandpa and the school. Jack saw that they were trying to remove some - if not all - the blame from Georgie.

"Well, that might be, but I don't think that justifies hitting someone", Jack said in an agitated tone. While he understood where they were coming from, he was not about to let Georgie off the hook. He had seen first-hand the anger and willingness to strike out verbally at him and he still wondered had he pushed it maybe even physically as well. Then they had to consider that she had just been expelled from school as well for her actions. "The principal said that Olivia is beginning to fear for her own safety, so this is far more complicated issue than you might think. Whether Georgie's telling the truth and Olivia provoked her or not, I don't think we can just let this slide. There's obviously something going on here and it'll keep happening unless we put an end to it."

"Okay, yeah", Peter could see Jack's point. "So… what happened?" he then asked, wanting to hear everything that had happened before he formed an opinion based on what had happened in the past. He could also tell that Jack needed to be listened too before he blew.

"Thank you", Jack said first, feeling relieved that someone was willing to listen, even if it was just Peter. "I don't want to be the bad guy here, because I love that girl every bit as much as you two do, but this is important to me. I got a call from the school, telling me that Georgie had hit another student in the girl's bathroom. The girl had to be taken to the school nurse. This Olivia had said that she had been in the bathroom, minding her own business, when Georgie had cornered her and then punched her in the face", Jack explained.

"Okay, why would she just do that?" Lou had to interject. She didn't like the accusations that were made about her daughter. "That sounds absolutely insane. She wouldn't do that just because", she continued, knowing her daughter to be better than that.

"That I don't know, but she mentioned that Olivia said something to her that made her act out. Now, I don't know what she said, but whatever it was, I think there would have been a better way to handle this", Jack continued, giving his opinion. "I personally feel like maybe it's time for us to look ourselves in the mirror… I know I have probably not been the best role model for her in that sense, but this is me trying to make it right."

"What are you talking about?" Lou asked. Maybe it was the lack of sleep or just Jack's lack of explanation, but she wasn't following what was being discussed here.

"I've had my violent outbursts and of course Georgie being in the middle of the family, she has seen them, and probably thinks that it's how people go about these things", Jack said shamefully.

"Oh, come on, Grandpa. It's not like you're having fist fights every day", Lou replied to his comment, wondering why Jack was so concerned about it. Georgie was a smart girl; she knew when to pick her battles.

"Maybe not, but I still think I should set a better example. I promise to be better than that from now on", Jack assured, making Peter thoughtful. Something Jack had said sparked something in him.

"So, we'll call Olivia, make Georgie apologize and get over it?" Lou said as she tried to find the easiest way out, but Jack shook his head.

"That's the thing. We've tried that, but obviously it didn't work. We have to get to the bottom of this. Georgie doesn't even feel like she should apologize, so she clearly doesn't understand what the problem here is. If she's just apologizing because she has to, we are just letting it slide. There's no lesson to be learned from that. - To make matters worse, since she didn't show any sign of remorse, she was expelled from school because they think she poses a threat to her fellow students", Jack said.

"Expelled?! This is ridiculous!" Lou laughed, waving her arms at Jack but she was not amused at all. The school was blowing this way out of proportion. Lou understood that a fight had taken place and Georgie should not have hit Olivia, but to think she was dangerous - that was unbelievable!

"Lou…" Peter stopped her by placing his hand on her waving arm. When Lou stopped talking and moving around, Peter continued: "I think we should listen to what Jack is saying here. Apologizing is just a temporary solution, we should look into this because clearly she keeps doing this because we've never set her a clear example that she could talk things out. I mean, isn't that what we've been struggling with too? It's no wonder she keeps acting out - think about her life up to this point. One foster home after the next, never finding a place she could call home. So it was run or fight; she chose to run, but thankfully now it seems she wants to stay, so she thinks she has to fight. How can she do something different if she hasn't been shown that there is any other way."

"But… Olivia must've provoked her somehow–" Lou tried to excuse Georgie's behavior again, feeling like the men were ganging up against the girl.

Peter reached out and took Lou's other hand, and when she turned to look at him, he nodded, letting her know that he was on her side as well, but also willing to help Georgie.

"Maybe she did, it definitely sounds like it, but Georgie still should have not hit her, no matter what", Peter explained calmly. He then turned his gaze back to Jack. "Can we… have some privacy? I think Lou and I need to talk this out."

Jack nodded, understanding the request. This was exactly what he had been set out to do.

"But thank you, Jack, for taking care of this for us to here. Now it's time we did our part as well", Peter continued, as he was about to enter into a conversation he didn't feel comfortable sharing with anyone but Lou at this point. Fortunately Jack understood and knew that they had to have a talk, just between them, Georgie's mom and dad.

"Of course. I'll be in the kitchen", Jack said with a nod. He was about to leave when he felt something in his shirt pocket, remembering he had taken Georgie's phone. He turned and took it from his pocket and handed to Peter. "Oh, before I forget, here's Georgie's phone. I took it away and grounded her. I know it might have not been my place, but something had to be done. Maybe we should cut that WiFi thing too?" he suggested as he turned to leave again. "Think about it."

Peter took the phone from him, nodding as he said thanks.

"Will do", Peter assured him, putting Georgie's phone to his pocket.

Lou sighed heavily, not feeling like dealing with this right now. They had so much going on already that she did not need one more thing to deal with. She just wanted to find a quick solution to the problem and get this out of the way, but she had a feeling maybe Peter was about to see if he could change her mind.


	24. Chapter 24

When Jack had closed the door behind him, Peter stepped in front of Lou and took both her hands so as to have a physical connection to go with the eye contact. He had found out that this was the best way to communicate as he wanted Lou to know that what he was about to say was important.

Peter waited till he held Lou's gaze so that she would know that he meant what he was saying.

"As you know, I used to have this sort of… anger management issue when I was younger. And I've really had to work on them throughout my adult life, and for the most part it's been going well. Of course there are still times I'd like to deck someone and make them shut up because they have said something that made me angry, but I know that I can't go down that road anymore because it will not lead to anything good. And now it's not just me who I have to think about anymore, it's you and the girls as well", Peter explained.

"Okay, Peter, you have shared all this with me before, and while I don't want to seem pushy, why do you think this is relevant now?" Lou asked, still a little woozy from the tiredness and everything that was going on at the moment.

"Well, I see it as a relation to Georgie's problem. She might not have as much responsibility as I do, as an adult, a parent and husband, but she's still to be responsible for her actions, and her behavior at school is one of her responsibilities right now. I mean, that's why we got her the tutor, right? Getting expelled because of violent outbursts, no matter whether she was provoked or not, can be a start of a downward spiral", Peter explained calmly.

Peter realized what he was about to say bordered on extreme to Lou, but it seemed like it had to. He knew that he had been wise to seek for help for himself before things had gotten too out of hand for him too. But he had needed someone who saw what he was like and had been there themselves to tell him what to do at the time, so maybe in the future when she looked back on her life, Georgie would find his assistance to have been helpful in her life as well.

Sometimes - as shameful as it was to admit - Lou tested his limits too, not that Peter had ever wanted to hit her, but he had had to find ways to control his rage so that their arguments did not get too heated. When he couldn't express his emotions by throwing things or shouting out his frustration, he had had to find other ways to channel his feelings, and that was still to this day a work in progress.

"Okay, I'm listening", Lou said. It was hard for her to admit that - not only because she didn't like placing blame on her daughter that had already gone through so much in her life, but also because it made her feel like a failed parent - and god knew that had been like some kind of default feeling for her the last couple of days days now…

"I have not shared this with you before and I should have, but I have had a sponsor in Vancouver all these years–" Peter explained to a now surprised Lou.

"Sponsor?" Lou was quick to echo. "What kind of sponsor?" she usually associated sponsors to people with drug or alcohol related problems, but surely Peter did not have those… did he?

"An anger management sponsor", Peter said, realizing from the look on Lou's face that he needed to have that cleared up before he could proceed. "She has helped me to understand my anger issues and helped me to learn different ways to control my anger. I was doing fine for years, but then I punched Caleb, as you remember…" he said, his eyes shifting to the wall behind to Lou, indicating he was not comfortable talking about this with her.

Making eye contact with her again, he could see from the blushing cheeks and quick glance away, that Lou did remember just as well as he did.

"I felt like I had relapsed somehow. Even though at the time I felt good about it, it scared me as well, and I began to wonder if I could hit Caleb... who might be next. It has taken a while to gain back the confidence to think that I can control my anger instead of thinking that the anger controls me", continued a very somber Peter to an even more surprised and stoic Lou.

Lou had never known how severe Peter's problem was. The fact that he had a sponsor told her that this wasn't just a minor thing. Not knowing how badly Peter had felt about punching Caleb left Lou speechless. It clearly showed that she had always thought this kind of behavior to be part of "the jealous husband" thing most men had whenever another man approached or made moves on their wife. In a way, it had always been like a norm for her but she had never thought about it from the point of view of someone who had anger issues, because what had seemed normal to her was anything but to Peter - but maybe it wasn't supposed to be normal for anyone. Lou had been so caught up on her own feelings and Caleb's kiss that she had completely ignored Peter's side of the situation.

Now, not only did she feel like she was she a bad parent but bad wife as well.

"I've realized that what I feel only affects me, but when I act on those feelings, it has both physical and emotional affects other people. And this is what I'm seeing with Georgie too. Not only do we have to help her learn how to control this kind of behavior - because she can't keep having these sort of confrontations - but also to help her to understand her feelings as well. I know what it's like to be isolated from other people because of your anger issues, and I don't want that for her", Peter explained.

As he talked, he felt nervous about how his sharing his personal demons was going to be received by Lou. He knew she was somewhat aware of his history of violence, as they had talked about their school days in the past, but now he was afraid Lou would only add this issue to his list of flaws that was already long enough.

But he knew that the welfare of Georgie was much more important to him at the time.

Something about Lou's expression told Peter that maybe she had thought he had overcome the problem and it was no longer an issue, but the truth was, Peter was still fighting with it every day. And when life got stressful, he knew it was only going to get harder.

"I guess I never realized how much you've been struggling with this", Lou admitted. "I just thought maybe you were square with Caleb and that is was not to be talked about anymore. But… I never knew it had lingered around and you felt so bad about it. We should have talked about it. I'm really sorry…"

Peter nodded, appreciating Lou for recognizing his feelings and apologizing for her own behavior. Maybe it was good that time had passed since then because Peter could have not imagined having this same conversation with Lou back then.

"But enough about me", Peter decided it was time to get back on track. This wasn't going to be some kind of pity party for him. He had felt that in order to explain his strong feelings about this issue, he had had to shed some light on his own past and present so that Lou would realize that while this was a big problem, it was something that could be worked on - he knew it from experience. "I shared all this with you because I think Georgie could benefit from counselling too."

Lou didn't say anything, but her face said it all. Something about that word rubbed her the wrong way.

"I just feel like maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration. I know what you just told me, but – teenagers are moody, right?" Lou tried to rationalize her point of view. "I mean, how do we know this is as serious as what you seem to think it might be? What if it's just her going through puberty?"

Peter took a deep breath for he knew how strong willed Lou could be when she had set her mind to something and it was very apparent that she did not like the idea of counseling for Georgie.

He was sure now that she would like what he was going to say next even less.

"I think we could all benefit from counseling to be honest. Our lives are hard and sometimes it's good to have someone to listen or to offer us tools to help us go through it all", Peter commented.

Peter saw instantly that his assessment of the situation had been correct as the look on Lou's face was as if she had just be slapped. Holding onto her hands and gaining her eye contact again, he continued.

"Counseling is not a swear word, Lou. It's not a taboo anymore to seek help. I mean, let's look at this way; when Georgie broke her arm after she fell off Checkers, you thought it was necessary for her to have treatment as soon as possible, right?"

"Of course, absolutely", Lou said, wondering why Peter was using such a foregone conclusion.

"Why was that?" Peter asked Lou, causing her to stop and think for a second instead of just reacting.

"Because she broke her arm", Lou stated the obvious, still not understanding what Peter had in mind. "If we had waited any longer, the fracture could have gotten worse and it wouldn't have healed properly, and worst case scenario; she wouldn't have been able to use her arm. – Where are you going with this?" Lou wanted to know, beginning to feel frustrated.

"Well… why is her mind any different? If you just leave it be and don't help it get better, it will only get worse", Peter pointed out.

At first Lou wanted to protest his parable, but something in her started to wonder if maybe Peter was onto something.

And eventually her expression softened.

"Okay, let's say maybe you're right", Lou admitted. "I just…" she sighed and sat on the bed, no longer feeling strong enough to stand as the mental and physical exhaustion took over her body.

She just sat there for a minute staring at the floor, looking fully defeated, before she gained enough strength to continue.

"It makes me feel like such a bad mother. I mean, she needs counseling...?" The look of failure swept over her face. "Surely I didn't support her enough. I was here, how come I didn't see it?"

"Maybe sometimes you have to go away to see things clearer?" he suggested. "And maybe", Peter said as he sat down beside her, "you're looking at it the wrong way. Maybe now is your time to support her. If you think about it, it would actually make you even better parent to offer her some help through counseling. These people know what they are doing - we don't. I mean, we knew we would learn to know who Katie was while she grew up and would be able to shape her life. To give her support and help her and be there as she grew... but Georgie was already much older when we adopted her and she had already developed many habits and behaviors that we had no part in but have to help her get over. We might have an idea about who she is from her paperwork and what Clint has told us, but who knows what's underneath all that, what she doesn't let us in on? I'm the first to admit I don't know the ins and outs about raising a child, but I'm learning - with you."

"I hate it when you're right…" Lou muttered, half joking but actually feeling slightly embarrassed that she had even protested this idea. When Peter made her see things from another point of view, instead of allowing her to stick to what she knew, she realized that things had to change for them to get better. "We'll help Georgie", she then stated, looking into Peter's eyes with determination. "Thank you, Peter", she said as she leaned into him, laying her head on his shoulder. She had to admit that it felt good to have some to share all this with.

Peter smiled as he was relieved they were sticking to the promise they had made to each other at the hospital.

"Good. See?" he said, as he gently reached out to embrace her. "We can be good at this, we can talk and work things out, right?"

"Yeah, I guess so", Lou admitted, poking Peter playfully on the side by using the pressure of her own body. It helped to release some of the tension. She then sighed and ran her hands across her tired face. "Oh god… I know we are supposed to talk to Georgie and have that family meeting, but I'm just so exhausted. I feel like I'm going to fall asleep at any minute now."

"I'll be there with you. We'll get those things out of the way and then get some rest. Maybe Jack and Lisa could look after Katie while we nap", Peter said.

"We have to buy them something nice to make up for everything they've done. I don't know what I would do without them", Lou sang their praises.

"Well, I can see why you would prefer to live near them", Peter admitted. "It's good to have family around for support."

It felt strange to Lou, but seemed like they were actually making progress. Sharing hidden feelings and allowing themselves to even re-think some of the things that had been problems in the past felt so unlike them - but it also felt so good.


	25. Chapter 25

Amy waved to her client as he drove off and disappeared into the dust cloud that his truck and trailer had kicked up on the dusty lane. She then started walking toward the ranch house, still wondering what was waiting for her inside. She could only hope that her distracted mind was not as apparent to her client, as she now realized that her mind had been in the house the whole time, wondering what had happened.

After Jack and Georgie had arrived, it seemed as if they had started a parade of people coming to Heartland. Lisa, Lou, Peter and Katie had joined them not long after that, and she was beginning to look around to see if maybe Ty and Tim had shown up as well. Having the whole family there all at once was rare these days, now that she and Ty were living elsewhere and Peter and Lou were separated.

As Amy walked across the yard towards the house, she tried to distract her anxiety with some of the thoughts of Merlin she had had since being reintroduced to the horse earlier. It had been six years since Merlin had last set his hooves on this property, and a lot of things had happened since - both for her and the horse.

Back in the day, Amy and Ty had been like foster parents to the orphaned foal. It had not been easy and had given them a little taste of what parenting could one day be like. Now that they were married and building a life of their own, Amy couldn't help but think back fondly of the experience they had once gone through (despite it not being that funny back then); in a way it had been a start of an era that had set both Amy and Ty to think about parenthood. Now that they were settling down, having kids would eventually feel like a natural next step for the newlywed couple.

Stepping inside the house, Amy could hear Lisa and Jack talking to Katie in the kitchen. She took off her cowboy hat, hanging it on the hook, and her boots, placing them in the line with all the others. She walked inside to meet her niece and grandparents as they were preparing what seemed like cucumber sandwiches.

Katie was on her knees on top of a chair, next to Lisa, cutting small slices of cucumber with a determinate look on her face and making the slices a little bit too thick as she tried to get better at coordinating her movements.

"Hey..." Amy said softly as she came across the kitchen to greet the little girl.

Katie turned around as she heard the familiar voice and responded to her joyfully, setting the knife and cucumber aside so that she could hug Amy. "Auntie Amy!"

Jack and Lisa watched as the girls embraced each other, both evidently happy to see one another. It was moments like this that made their hearts a little bit lighter as they realized things were getting back to normal.

"So, what's happening here?" Amy then asked as Katie pulled away, returning her feet to the chair she had been on before she had jumped into Amy's arms and hugged her aunt.

"We are making sandwiches", Katie explained, her lisp clearly audible.

"Katie's cutting the cucumber while I'm in charge of the buttering", Lisa chimed in, giving Amy a meaningful look that made her realize that the reason why Katie wasn't the one doing the buttering was because most of the butter would have probably ended up in her mouth instead of the toast.

"Amy, do you want some coffee?" Jack asked, opening the cupboard door and taking out another cup, already guessing what her answer would be as he did so. He had a pot full of fresh coffee ready to be drank as he was still waiting Lou and Peter to get back from Lou's bedroom. "I know I was supposed to make lunch but... I got busy", he muttered, not wanting to get into the whole Georgie mess before Lou and Peter let them know what they wanted to do.

"Yeah, coffee sounds good", Amy replied, feeling the exhaustion weighing on her body and mind. She had hardly slept last night as her thoughts had been with Lou and Katie at the hospital, but seeing Katie back in her usual surroundings as lively as ever made her feel easier and she was able relax a little and to release some of that tension.

"Did I see right; did we just get a new client horse?" Jack chattered as Amy sat down at the table and took an apple from the bowl. He had only seen the client briefly before coming inside the house because his mind had been on Georgie at the time. But he wanted to show Amy that he had noticed her when they came home, because he realized that he had not even said hi when they got back. "Sorry if I seemed a little out of sorts. My mind was elsewhere at the moment."

"It's okay, Grandpa, I know how that can be sometimes. As for your question, yes- or well, he's not really new. - Do you remember six years ago when we took in that orphaned foal, Merlin?" Amy asked, taking a bite out of her apple. "That's the same horse."

"You don't say." Jack smiled a little. "Must be nice to see where the horses you have worked with end up", he said, bringing Amy her cup of coffee.

"Yeah- except in a way I'm not happy to see him because him being here means he's having some sort of problem", Amy pointed out, thanking her grandfather with a nod as she received her coffee.

"Well yeah, I suppose that's true", Jack admitted. "What's seems to be his problem?" he asked, but before Amy could reply, they heard Lou scream from the hallway as she was returning to the kitchen from her bedroom.

Heads turned toward the sound of Lou's voice, Amy, Jack, Lisa and Katie waited to know what was going on. They saw the older Fleming sister waving her hands at the side of her face as if she was trying to push out words through her lips.

If a person could look like a boiling kettle, then Lou would have been a perfect example of that right now.

"DROP THAT KNIFE, KATIE!" she demanded.

She made it sound like the girl was jumping around and waving the knife in the air carelessly, putting them all in danger. But she was only holding a cucumber and a small kitchen knife in her hand, looking anything but threatening.

Lisa glanced at Katie, gently removing the knife from the child's hand as the girl hadn't respond to her Mother's wishes. Katie, like the others, was still wondering what the fuss was about. She had helped her mother cut cucumbers many times before so no one knew what the big deal was as she was always careful with all the sharp objects.

"Gimme that!" Lou insisted as she reached the kitchen.

Lisa handed her the knife and as soon as Lou had gotten a possession of it, she continued to confuse all of them by going through the drawers, pulling out all sort of kitchen utensils as if she was collecting them for something.

Lisa exchanged looks with Jack, Amy and Peter, who was few steps behind his wife, also watching the scene, as if making sure she was not the only one who had been caught by surprise by what was going on.

Based on the puzzled faces, everyone was equally confused by Lou's strange behavior.

"Lou...? Is everything okay?" Jack asked carefully, hoping he wasn't pushing any Lou's buttons right now.

"We can't have anything sharp in here! I would have told you that but I had to talk with Peter and take care of Katie, like I have to take care of everything! But maybe this could have been avoided if we would have been good at talking in the first place! Maybe Georgie would not be in trouble right now and maybe Katie wouldn't have ended up in a hospital and I wouldn't have to collect every sharp object I can find from this house because she's on blood-thinners and one small cut could be fatal to her!" Lou rattled off her thoughts as fast as they came to her mind, not even - so it seemed - pausing to take a breath. It made it all one big run on sentence.

Amy and Jack looked at each other, wondering if something in Lou's head had snapped, but as what she had said began to sink in, they realized that Katie was not supposed to be around anything sharp because she had taken a medication that made it dangerous for her if she were to have an accident.

"Okay, Lou... Just breathe", Peter requested softly, fearing Lou was close to an emotional breakdown. He came closer to her, his arms in front of him, reaching out as a sign of friendly approach. "Why don't you go outside, get some fresh air and we'll take it from here, okay?" he suggested, then gently putting his hand on Lou's arm, trying to get back that connection they had back in the bedroom. "I'll talk to Georgie."

"I just can't do this anymore, I'm so tired..." Lou began to cry as she covered her face with her hands. She thought she was supposed to be some kind of super mom, but she just couldn't see how to do it right now. She felt like a super failure and it was all coming down on her as she began to break down.

Not being able to just stand by and watch as her sister slip into a mental mess, Amy got up from her chair and came and stood next to Peter, giving him a determined look. She knew that she had promised Ty to focus on her own life, but she couldn't just let Lou fall to pieces in front of her.

"Lou, let's step outside. Fresh air might do you some good", Amy continued where Peter had left off.

Lou nodded, coming out of hiding and letting Amy lead her to the mudroom.

"I'm sorry, Lou... I didn't know..." Lisa said as she started feeling guilty for handing Katie a knife in the first place. It felt so stupid now to put Katie in danger all for the sake of saving some butter.

Amy walked Lou outside, without Lou saying anything to Lisa. The older woman watched as the sisters disappeared outside, feeling like she had also failed in the simple task she had been asked to do; helping with Katie.

Jack noticed his wife's expression and immediately came to stand closer to her to give her comfort.

"I didn't know..." Lisa explained to Jack, as if he would have been angry at her for making that mistake. But there was nothing but compassion on the old man's face.

"I know... None of us knew", Jack said, gently calming his wife by putting his hands on her shoulders and giving them a tender squeeze.

Peter's eyes followed Lou as she was walking back and forth on the porch and saying something to Amy. It was hard to tell what they were talking about, but then again he could not help but be concerned for his wife right now.

"What's happening, Daddy?" Katie asked, being the most confused one of the bunch. Her eyes were bright but her gaze was scared as she was so unsure about what was happening around her.

"Mommy's just a little bit tired right now", Peter explained as he came to take Katie into his arms. He hugged her, hoping this wasn't adding any more stress for her as the doctors had said that all kind of stress had to be avoided so that the possibility of the seizures would be minimized to almost non-existent.

"She should go to sleep", Katie replied as she tried to solve the problem for her mother, making Peter smile absentmindedly. The innocence of the girl never failed to lift his spirits.

"You're so right about that, Katie-Kat", Peter agreed, kissing the top of the girl's head. He then looked at Jack and Lisa over the girl's shoulder. "I'm sorry about this. It's been a long day."

Jack nodded. "We get that. - I don't mean to pry, but what about the thing I talked to you guys about...?" he hinted subtly, feeling bad for keeping Lisa out of the loop for as long as he had, but Katie was around and Georgie was upstairs, possibly eavesdropping so he continued to speak in code. He figured maybe some of that tension from Georgie's problems was adding to Lou's stress, as it would with anyone in her shoes.

"We talked about it, and..." Peter said, glancing outside. Lou still looked upset even if he couldn't see her face. But Amy's concerned expression told him all he needed to know. "Looks like Lou might need some time, so maybe it's best that I go and talk to Georgie", Peter said as decided Lou did not need any more on her plate at the moment. He was tired too, but the thought of taking care of his family and proving his worth was something that kept him going. "So would you mind looking after Katie just a little while longer? I know we've already asked so much from you, and I'm really sorry about that-"

"Say no more, Peter", Jack assured. He realized they wouldn't have been asking if things had been different as the last day had proven that neither Lou nor Peter wanted to take their family for granted. "We'd be happy to. After all, that's what family is for."

Peter nodded, wondering still if he even was part of the family, but decided not to get too hung up on that right now. The only person he cared about seeing him as family was Lou, and so he would do what he had to do to make sure the progress they had made in their relationship continued to move along.

"But are you sure...?" Lisa had to ask when Peter helped Katie back on her chair. "I mean, what I did..." she trailed off, wondering if Lou was going to be able to forgive her for putting Katie in harm's way.

"You didn't know, Lisa. We should have told you guys as soon as we stepped inside, but... we wanted everyone to be here for it. Nothing happened, everything's fine", Peter reminded her. "And now you do know, so you know how to be more careful. I trust you." He knew how hearing those words could make all the difference after a failure of any kind.

Lisa felt relieved. She never wanted to hurt anyone on purpose, and even making an honest mistake anyone could have made made her feel bad. "Thank you..."

"Don't worry about it", he said to Lisa.

He then kissed the top of Katie's head again before heading toward the stairs. "I'll be right back."

There had been times when Lou had phoned him about a problem she was having with the girls, and in a way Peter had been jealous of her for being there for the girls in their time of need. Right now it would be his time "to shine" as he was getting a big pile of reality at once.

He just hoped he would not screw it up.


	26. Chapter 26

Amy didn't know what made her more nervous; the way Lou paced back and forth on the porch or the labored sounds of her breathing. She was beginning to look pale and Amy knew she wasn't far from passing out.

"Just breathe, Lou", Amy coached her sister, making few sounds of inhale and exhale just to demonstrate to Lou what she wanted her to do. Sometimes in a situation like this it was hard to focus on what the other person was saying, so maybe mimicking the same thing would help her understand better.

"I can't..." Lou's voice made it sound like she was suffocating as she felt like the world was closing in on her.

Her hands were tingling and she had to shake them and squeeze them together just to feel her fingertips. Suddenly it seemed like the world began to shake as her legs began to buckle and everything began to turn dark which forced her to sit on the bench just to make sure she would not collapse.

Amy sat beside her, gently massaging her back to help her relax.

"Yes, you can. There's air all around you, fresh country air. Just focus on those breaths coming in... and out..." Amy continued. She knew it was mostly in Lou's head and there was nothing wrong with her lungs, but it was her job to help convince her of that fact.

Eventually Lou's breathing got better as she began to inhale through her noise and exhaled through her mouth. She was sweating and it wasn't all because of the warm summer air. What she thought to be her safe haven was now beginning to feel like anything but. Lou could almost hear her own screams as she had tried to revive Katie echoing inside her head.

"I feel like ever since I saw Katie in the pond..." Lou began, her eyes opening now and moving toward the little hill that hid the water behind it, "I haven't been able to breathe properly. I thought it might get better to see her back home, back to normal, but it's just reminding me how there are dangers everywhere and she's not even safe here... I can't protect her from everything."

She knew about the statistics where home was listed as one of the most dangerous places on earth. Lou now realized why. What had been only statistics on a page had become way to real to her now.

Amy's eyes shifted toward the hill too, wondering how it must have been for her. She knew she couldn't understand it completely from her point of view because she was not a mother herself, but there had been enough tragedy in her life for her to grasp some idea of how Lou must have felt when she saw Katie, lying face down in the waters of the pond, and thought she had drowned.

"And now... with this Georgie thing on top of it all..." Lou said, sighing, as she shook her head. "I don't know what I'm doing, Amy. Who gave me the right to become a mother? I don't deserve it, that's for sure."

"What are you talking about?" Amy said, returning her eyes back to her sister. She didn't like how hard Lou was being on herself, especially because she knew how much Lou had worked on this single parent thing ever since Peter and her had decided to go their separate ways. "You're a great mother, Katie and Georgie are lucky to have you."

Lou laughed, her tone anything but amused. "I know you're just trying to help me, Amy, but if you were in my shoes, you'd feel the same way..."

"But I'm not in your shoes", Amy pointed out, "which is why maybe I'm able to see it more clearly. You're way too invested with everything, with every decision you have made, and right now you are forgetting all the good things you've achieved, how much you love those girls and how that love is something every child wishes to have."

"I don't know..." Lou was still feeling unsure. "I mean, maybe I need that hyper critical view to see everything I do wrong so I can see what I should be doing instead. But it's too bad I only see what I've done wrong when it's too late..."

"It's never too late. As long as you're alive, there's always hope", Amy said, hoping her sister would catch her optimism too. "Can I ask... what happened with Georgie...? Maybe I can help. I mean - I wanna help."

Lou sighed. She knew Amy would not judge her nor Georgie, but it was more about her own mood that made it hard for Lou to repeat. Another layer of guilt was gnawing at her.

"She hit Olivia. Again", Lou admitted shamefully. "And as if that wouldn't have been enough to handle, they expelled her from school... "

Amy was stunned, but then again not surprised. Not only did she know how Georgie didn't get along with Olivia, but it also put things more into perspective so they made sense with everything she had seen that morning; Grandpa's weird timing for bringing Georgie home from school and the unwelcoming attitude they had both had with her and new client.

"Oh... What's gonna happen now then?"

"Peter and I are looking into counselling for her", Lou admitted, picking at her cuticles nervously because she still wasn't completely sold to the idea even if what Peter had said inside the house had made sense. "He thinks- or _we_ think it might be good for her..."

"Yeah, it could be", Amy said, feeling like maybe it was good to have some professional help if nothing else worked. "I mean, she's been through a lot. It can't be easy for anyone, especially a girl her age."

"Everyone seems to be thinking that but... I don't know, I have my doubts about this", Lou admitted now that Peter was not around. She was still on board for it of course, she had made that promise after all, but something deep inside was not fond of the idea and it had taken a little time to understand why. She had to make peace with herself before she could talk to Georgie about it. If Georgie could figure out she didn't believe counselling herself, then there was a good possibility she would not give it a chance either.

"Why?"

Lou took a long time before she continued.

"It's because of dad..."

Amy frowned. "Dad? What does he have to do with any of this?"

"I don't expect you to remember this because you were so little, but... when dad had his accident, he got hooked on pills and drank a lot, so Grandpa kicked him out", Lou began.

"I know, Lou. I'm aware of all that", Amy told her.

She might have not have known all that when she was younger, but when she had grown older, Amy had started to get little bits and pieces from here and there through Grandpa, Marion or Lou. And when Tim came back into their lives nine years ago, he had revealed more about his side of things as well.

Amy sensed that she would never know the full story about the events that had taken place after Jack had kicked Tim out, because even if she was an adult now, Amy knew that everyone was still trying to protect her from the hurt despite the fact that they were (almost) one big happy family again. Some things were better left in the past.

"I know, but... I guess you never really saw it like I did. When dad was all messed up and begged mom to take him back, she told him to get help. And he did, eventually. It took a while, but he got clean, as you know. But the way Grandpa talked about it made me have bad associations with rehab and counselling altogether. I don't think Grandpa realized it, but since he hated dad so much, he made it sound like everything he did and chose was wrong. He always made sure to mention that going into rehab was shameful and dad shouldn't have gotten to a place where he needed it in the first place if he had been smart enough from the get go", Lou spoke.

Amy listened carefully because even if they had talked about these things a bit, she had never heard this side of it.

"I know things have changed since then and Grandpa has softened a bit, but I was so easily influenced when I was a teenager. I didn't like the way he talked about dad, but some of that stuck with me anyway. It was then I made myself a promise not to ever seek help, because it would mean that I would be a failure in Grandpa's eyes, just like dad was.- And now, I'm supposed to send Georgie to counseling..." Lou continued, hanging her head. "It's hard to accept, because I don't want people to think that she's a failure. That we are a failure, as a family."

"You said it yourself; things have changed, attitudes have changed", Amy objected. "You know those kind of issues and admitting you had problems were a taboo in the past, but people know better now and seek help. It doesn't mean you should be ashamed of it or feel like a failure. People have different ways to cope. - And if you think about it, counselling is what I do.

Not everyone believes in what I do, but I have results to prove it works. The horses might not speak, but I read their body language and help them move past their problems. I'm not really the one doing all the work, changing them, I'm just listening and allowing them to figure their problems out themselves. And that's what's going to happen with Georgie too", she said trying to make Lou believe as much as she did that the counseling could work. "She just needs someone to listen and guide her little bit and it might be better if it's someone she doesn't have a personal relationship with."

Lou looked at Amy, realizing what she was saying made a lot of sense. She couldn't find the words to thank her, so she just reached out and pulled her closer and wrapped Amy in her arms giving her a hug.

Amy knew without hearing it in words that Lou was thankful.

Just like with horses, it was all about the body language now too.


	27. Chapter 27

Peter knocked on Georgie's door and waited. He paced back and forth in front of the closed door, stretching his neck and shoulders, hoping to appear more relaxed when he faced her. If he was going to approach Georgie, he needed to look like he wasn't there to play the parent role and end up in a fight but show that he was not only there to talk, but more importantly to listen. Peter knew he would be telling her that with his words, but he also knew that his body language had to support his verbal message.

Even though he was disappointed in her, Peter also understood her actions on a level that probably no one else in the family could, and he wanted to help her to get past her anger. He didn't think Georgie wanted to live like this any more than he or Lou did.

"What?" Georgie's angry voice was heard from the other side of the door. It was clear she wasn't in the mood for socializing, but Peter knew this couldn't wait.

"It's me, Peter. May I come in?" Peter asked.

He wanted to establish that even though he was the parent, and hopefully the authority figure in her life, her room was still her sanctuary and therefore he wanted to get her permission before he would enter. If she didn't feel she had a say about who could come into her room, she might not feel safe anywhere. If she did not feel safe then she probably wouldn't co-operate, but instead would keep on fighting, and the goal wasn't to fight but to come to a mutual understanding.

Peter knew that from his own experience as he had never found that safe space here at Heartland and had always been antsy because of it, making the fights between him and Lou get progressively worse and worse.

"Whatever…" Georgie muttered from inside the room. She figured that if she knew anything about parents, Peter would come in anyway, no matter what she would say.

After getting Georgie's permission, Peter entered carefully, looking around the room for his daughter before he spotted her sitting on the bed. She was flipping through some horse magazine, but it was quickly apparent that she wasn't actually reading it at all; it was being used as a prop so she would appear to be in the middle of something and therefore too occupied for having any conversations.

"Hey…" Peter said, closing the door behind him. Georgie continued to flip through the pages of the magazine, still not paying any attention to him, so he walked closer. Finally he sat down on the edge of the bed. "What are you reading?" he asked as he tried to have a friendly conversation to let Georgie know he wasn't here to yell at her as he knew that was probably what she was thinking.

"Shouldn't you be on your way to Vancouver already?" Georgie said in a very sarcastic tone. "That's what you usually do as soon as things are taken care of here. Katie's home, so…" she shrugged and continued looking at the magazine as her way of responding to his question.

Peter realized this was Georgie's way of keeping him at arm's length just to retain some control over the situation. He also knew Georgie's statement, while a bit sarcastic, was fair, because popping in and out was what he usually did whenever he visited; he socialized for a bit and took care of the practical things, and then he was on his way back to Vancouver.

But instead of having to admit what she had said was true, Peter replied:

"Actually, I'm going to stay for a few days, so we can spend more time together."

Georgie was thrown off by the change in the narration; she had planned this situation down to the last detail before Peter had even entered the room. She had been in trouble more than few times and knew how this type of situation usually went down.

This required her to take her time as she had to think of a reply that would let Peter know that she knew this wasn't just a social call.

"To make sure I stay grounded?" Georgie snorted. She had no doubt that Jack had already filled Lou and Peter in on what had happened at school - well, from his point of view, anyway. The only question she had at the moment was why Lou wasn't here to pressure her too.

"No", Peter said, putting his hand gently on Georgie's leg to form a connection as she refused to make eye contact. "But… since we are talking about that", he had now found a gateway, "would you like to tell me what happened in school today?"

Again, this caught Georgie by surprise as she had expected him to have an opinion already and begin with the lecture. While she wanted to tell her side of the story, she still could not bring herself to trust that someone, especially a grown up, would listen and believe her. "I think you already know," came her curt reply.

"I know the teacher's side, Olivia's side and Jack's side, but what I don't know is your side of things", Peter explained calmly, never letting himself slip up by acting as if he had already made up his mind about what had happened. He needed to have Georgie understand that he was here to listen to her before he formed an opinion about what had happened. "So… mind telling me?"

He could see from the way Georgie bit her cheek that she was weighing her options. Something in her seemed to really want to tell Peter about it, but no one had really had empathy for her so far which was probably why she hesitated.

"You wouldn't get it anyway", she finally said, trying to escape mentally. Peter had already not acted as she had thought he would, but she was still not sure she could trust him to really listen to her and understand how she felt and had seen things happen that day.

"Try me", Peter requested.

There was another pause before Georgie put her magazine down on her lap and finally glanced at Peter, trying to judge just how receptive he really was. As she looked at Peter, he looked her straight in the eyes, and she could tell that he was telling the truth; he was there to listen to her without any hidden agendas, which helped Georgie to finally open up.

"She said some things…" Georgie began.

"What kind things?" Peter said, as he continued to coax her to open up.

"About you guys… about Katie…" she continued.

"What did she say?" Peter kept encouraging her as he continued, trying to fish out the truth.

"Well… we were in the girl's bathroom, and I was talking to Jade about Katie's accident." Georgie decided to give some insight about the setting, hoping to give Peter a better understanding up what had happened. She was still unsure, almost scared, to tell this as it was a painful subject for her, but she also couldn't let people think that she was the bad guy here. "And I told her that Katie was okay, and we were relieved. Olivia overheard our conversation and she–"

Georgie sighed and looked down again. Peter waited patiently. He realized he had to earn Georgie's trust, and pushing her now could destroy their fragile connection.

"Olivia said that if Katie had died… you guys would have been stuck with me. That it would have been the real tragedy and not Katie's death", as Georgie repeated what Olivia had said, she still felt the hurt from them as she couldn't get those words out of her mind. "And then I just… I hit her."

She shrugged.

Peter leaned back a little, taking in what he had just heard. He had known kids were cruel, but this was on another level.

 _Maybe Olivia could have benefited from counselling as well…_

"Well, first of all, you know that's not true, right?" Peter had to make sure that Georgie understood that fact before he could continue. He understood why, and how much it must have hurt Georgie and why she had reacted the way she had even if there had been another way, a better way to have to handled it. She had simply reacted, doing what she had always done, standing up for herself, and in a way Peter was proud that she wouldn't take any crap from anyone.

"Yeah…" Georgie said, even if there was some part of her that still felt that maybe there was some truth to it and that was why it had hurt so much in the first place.

"And secondly, we are glad to have Katie back home. And she's okay now. What happened was horrible and it could have been a lot worse, but it was still bad, there's no denying that, and I understand it must have made you feel really scared. It scared us all and that fear still lingers in us even if things are okay now", Peter spoke with sympathy. "So if you need to talk about that, no matter the time or the place, you know you can talk to us, right? Anytime you feel like talking. We are here for you."

Georgie nodded a little. She still had to get used to having people to lean on, people who actually cared about her, because it was all so new to her. It was hard to let people in and trust that they wouldn't always take a mess she was in and blame it on her.

"I will talk to Olivia's parents, she should never talk to you or anyone like that", Peter said, hoping to ease some of Georgie's pain. "Hopefully she'll be able to hold her tongue from now on, but you on the other hand have to try to learn to control your fists. I know reacting like that doesn't have anything to do with reasoning, it's just something that comes from the gut, but you have to learn to be more reasonable from now on. I'm not saying this because I blame you for what you did, but because I want to keep you safe. Just like Katie, we don't want to lose you, Georgie."

Georgie looked Peter in the eyes again, feeling like she was the same ten-year-old kid that had just stumbled upon a random ranch after she had run away from her foster home and was in trouble, but at the same time she had these people who wanted to look after her and help her. It would take a leap of faith for her to let them.

"Are you gonna tell me that whole thing about carrots up her nose again…?" Georgie asked, smiling a little bit. It made Peter laugh a little as he recalled their conversation.

 _So something had stuck with her…_

"No, I'm not. It might have helped you back then, but seems like we need to bring out the big guns now", Peter explained, liking the way things seemed to be heading.

"What? Beets up her nose?" Georgie asked kiddingly, as she had no clue what he was about to say, and giggled a little at the thought of beets hanging out of Oliva's nose. Peter chuckled, but then shook his head.

Peter's expression and voice changed to a more somber and serious one as he looked at Georgie.

"No. – Your mom and I talked about your situation and thought that maybe it would be best for you if you would try counseling."

Georgie leaped up from the bed as if she had been jolted by and electrical shock, pulling away from Peter.

"What?!" she shouted. "You're punishing me because I told you the truth!"

"Not at all", Peter said, shaking his head as he tried to regain her trust. "We are just trying to help you."

He realized things were now on a shaky ground and he had to remain calm if he wanted any hope for them to get better.

"Well, I have you know, I know all about counselling and I'm not going back to some shrink's room just to hear them say how they understand where I'm coming from when they have no idea what's going on! Forget it!" Georgie screamed at Peter and rushed to the door and ran downstairs.

"Georgie!" Peter called after her, but it was all in vain - she was gone. He sighed and looked around the room, wondering where he had gone wrong. What had started out as a promising conversation with his daughter had ended up being exactly what he had feared: a disaster.


	28. Chapter 28

When Lou finally came back inside the house, with Amy by her side, she looked around the kitchen in hopes of finding Peter. He had been here when she had left, but now he was nowhere to be found. Lou was hoping to talk to everyone about Katie's situation and then explain a little bit about what was going on with Georgie as well. She wanted to have the family meeting they had planned to have earlier, but Peter being gone put her plans on hold.

"Where's Peter?" she asked.

Lisa was sitting with Katie, watching her as they ate the sandwiches they had prepared before Lou had taken away the knife. The look she then gave to Jack told him that Lisa was wondering if maybe he would care to explain, seeing how she herself wasn't aware what the heck was going on.

Jack took the hint and said:

"He went to talk to Georgie", Jack told Lou, still holding a full cup of coffee for her, wondering if maybe he should withhold it; she looked like she was in need of a good night's sleep and offering her coffee would probably only make her more edgy.

"About... her situation?" she asked, and Jack nodded his head indicating that she was correct in her assumption.

Lou wondered to herself why Peter had gone to talk to her alone after they had just talked about acting more like a team.

Seeing the look on his granddaughter's face told Jack that maybe she needed a little clarification.

"Yeah, he figured you needed a break with everything that has happened. He felt you were overloaded", Jack explained.

"Well, that was kind of him, but I wish he would have waited a little while longer. I wanted to-"

Before Lou could finish, Georgie rushed through the kitchen into the mudroom, running into Amy and almost knocking her off her feet before she put on her shoes and stormed out.

"Woah, Georgie!" Amy said as she stepped back, trying to gain her balance so she did not fall down.

"Georgie, where are you-" Lou's question went unanswered with a slam of the screen door.

Amy walked over the window to see where her niece was heading. When she saw her going into the barn, she turned to Lou and let her know where she had seen Georgie go:

"She's going to the barn."

"Okay", Lou said, feeling relieved Georgie wasn't running away like she sometimes did when things got to be too much. She didn't know what had made her so upset, but maybe allowing her to cool off before she went to see why she was so upset would do some good. She returned her attention to the rest of the family and resumed her conversation. "When Peter gets here, I'd like to talk to all of you. I know Ty and dad aren't present, but this is too important to wait for them, so maybe you could pass along the message?" she requested, looking at everyone in the room.

"Sure", Amy promised.

"Will do", Jack agreed too.

"Should I go to play with Katie...?" Lisa asked then, wondering if she was going to be left out again. Since coming back to Heartland, Jack had been talking in code with the rest of the family, and Lisa wasn't sure if it was because of her or something else.

"No, I'd like you to stay. You need to know about this too", Lou said.

She could tell Lisa was a bit surprised, even though Lou thought she had no reason to be. But then she realized she might have been looking things too much from her own point of view to understand what others were probably feeling and thinking.

"I'm sorry I've made you feel like you're nothing but a maid to me, because that couldn't be farther from the truth; you are Katie's godmother, Georgie's grandmother and Grandpa's wife - therefore you are family. I know you love to help, but I hope you know that I don't expect it from you. It's kind of you to offer every time you do, and I really appreciate it. I don't say that enough, but I should", Lou continued.

Lisa was choked up as she fought to hold back the tears of joy. "Thank you, Lou", she replied wiping the corner of her eye.

She wanted to say how much what Lou had just said meant to her, but she was interrupted by Peter who was coming downstairs at a much slower pace than Georgie.

"What happened...?" Lou asked Peter, wondering what had made Georgie rush out so hastily. The man looked embarrassed as he scratched his neck nervously, wondering if he had helped the situation at all or actually made it worse. Maybe he had been too confident to go in like that.

"Well, I talked with Georgie, and I got to hear her side of things, which is something we have to talk about, by the way", he noted, then continuing he said, "and I brought up the counselling. I thought I was in a good place with her at the moment to bring it up, but..." he sighed heavily. "Obviously it didn't work out quite as I has planned. - Where is she now?" He looked around to see if she was with everyone else.

"She's outside. She looked really mad", Katie told her father. Whatever the adults were talking about mostly went over her head, but whenever she heard a familiar sound or a funny word, she started paying attention.

"She's in the barn", Amy said as she clarified Katie's explanation. "I could check up on her, if you guys want?"

"Hold that thought. I would like to talk to you now that we are all here", Lou requested, even though she appreciated Amy's offer. Everyone gathered around the table and Peter stood next to Lou so they would show unity in what Lou was about to share.

Lou began. "The past twenty-four hours or so have been crazy, and I know it's been hard to keep up with what has happened; it's been hard for me to keep up with it too and I've been in the eye of the storm. But that's why I would like to take time to talk to all of you, so everyone is on the same page and there is no confusion about what's going on. I would like this to be a new set of rule that we have to live by from now on. - And like I said, I'd appreciate it if you'd tell Ty and dad about this too", she continued, getting another set of nods from Amy and Jack. "Peter and I will talk to Georgie about this as well."

She looked at Peter who looked back at her, giving her an assuring look. Then Lou turned back to the others.

"Ever since Katie was born, you've all been a big help in raising and looking after her, and I think it has been a good thing for her as she has been showered with love and care as we've all guided her along through ups and downs of growing up so she could become a good person. Fortunately, she's stayed out of harms way under our watchful eyes - until now. I made a mistake of not looking after her yesterday morning", Lou admitted, knowing that she couldn't make excuses but had to be honest with herself and others so there would not be this feeling of secrecy anymore, "and when she was out of my sight, she fell into the pond between the fields."

Her voice was now more low as her throat felt weird explaining something so emotional to people who were naturally curious and concerned because of the events that had taken place.

Peter brought his hand behind Lou's back and gently stroked it to show his support.

Lou glanced at him quickly as as way of saying thank you and then continued.

"The good thing is we were able to locate her fast and she was taken to hospital pretty quickly. I performed CPR with Grandpa's help and the doctors said there was no permanent damage that they could tell of. - Of course I take blame because she should have been safe with me, but the doctors also told us that they found a blood clot in her brain. It's possible that that might have also played a part in this accident. They told us that they wondered if maybe she had had a seizure and fell into the pond because of it. We don't know, and she couldn't tell us what had happened because she did not remember", Lou explained, looking at Katie who seemed to be wondering what she was talking about and why was everyone so serious.

"After I had come home from the hospital yesterday, Katie had a seizure. Peter was there with her and fortunately it wasn't too bad, but it made the doctors look into it and do some more tests, that's how they made the discovery of the clot. The blood clot is the reason why Katie's now taking medication, a blood thinner, for a while. That is why I acted the way I did when I saw her with the sharp knife earlier, and I'm sorry for how I reacted. - The doctors are hoping that the problem of the seizures will disappear if they can get the clot to dissolve and she will not have anymore. That's also something that's important for you guys to know", Lou pressed. "I was thinking we could have some kind of chart at the fridge door where we would mark down if she's already taken her medicine for that day so we would all be up to date."

"That's a good idea", Jack said. "With you so busy, it can be hard to remember if she has taken one already, and when it is us looking after her... it will help us too."

Lisa nodded in agreement with Jack's statement, yet she was feeling a bit scared after hearing Katie's diagnosis, but as the little girl seemed to be doing okay, she figured there was no immediate danger.

She would have not been allowed to come home if there was.

"If it seems like she's having a seizure, you need to try and protect her from injury. Try and position her on her side so if there's any fluid coming out of her mouth so it can leak out", Lou continued with the instructions, "do not force anything into her mouth - that includes water. Don't hold her down, because it can cause an injury."

The room was silent as everyone was paying attention.

"If it looks like the seizure's not ending or something's terribly wrong; call help. If you notice that she's acting weirdly during a normal daily routine, it's a cause for concern", Peter explained continuing Lou's description of what to look for.

"After the seizure, let her rest - and again - don't give her anything to eat or drink until she's fully awake", Lou picked up where he had left. "Now, she might not have any more seizures - hopefully that is the case - but this is good for you to know."

"Understood", Lisa assured.

"What's a seizure?" Katie wondered out loud as she had heard it mentioned so many times now. It sounded funny to her and she wasn't even sure if she had said it right.

Everyone looked at each other, wondering who was going to explain it to her.

Eventually, Lou took over.

"It's this thing that happens to people sometimes, their body twitches and shakes, and it can be kind of scary but then usually everything's alright in the end", she told her, wondering what might be the best way to explain it. She had come across lot of these sort of things within the last day and she could only hope she was doing a good job explaining them so that Katie would understand them without getting too scared. "You might have one as you've had at least one that we know of, but hopefully you won't have anymore. I was just explaining everyone here what they should do if that would ever happen again."

"Okay", Katie thankfully accepted the explanation and didn't seem too concerned about it. The good thing about everything was that she had no recollection of all the things she had been through, so she had hopefully not formed any phobias toward hospital or medical procedures.

Lou was relieved and felt proud of her brave little girl.

"So how do we give her the medicine if we have to?" Amy asked even though she mostly lived elsewhere. But she was here during days and sometimes she even looked after Katie if no one else was available, so it would be good for her as well as the others to know.

"I'll show you", Lou said as she opened the pharmacy bag they had brought home with them.

She was tired, but now that she had let off some steam and was focused on informing her family of how to care for Katie, she didn't let it bother her. She knew if she did this right now, she would not have to worry about it later.


	29. Chapter 29

After everyone had been told about Katie's medical condition and had been given instructions on how and when to give Katie her medicine, Lou and Peter had taken time to tell the rest of the family that did not know - which was mostly Lisa - what was going on with Georgie.

When Lou turned to Peter and asked what had happened upstairs he was careful not to reveal anything that Georgie had told him in confidence because he wanted his daughter to feel like she could tell him things without the rest of the world knowing. Jack, Lisa and Amy got the general idea about Georgie's misbehavior and had seen the outcome of Peter's talk with her and were happy to allow the parents to take it from there.

What they did stress was in order to appear as united as possible was that they needed everyone to show their support as there were things that they would need to do, starting with Georgie being grounded until further notice. They also informed everyone about her not having her cell phone right now and the reason why they would cut the Wifi for a while as well.

After that Peter looked at Jack and thanked him for already taking care of most of what they were going to do for them.

"I did not mean to interfere", said Jack sheepishly.

Lou shook her head.

"No, you were right in what you did, Grandpa", she said, "and we both stand behind everything you told her you would do. You took responsibility to make her know that there would be consequences for her behavior, and as we have always done, you took the actions that you deemed appropriate as you had no idea when we would be home."

Jack seemed relieved. "Thank you... I know sometimes I can be a bit bull-headed and react without thinking of what you or Peter might think."

When the situation was understood and agreed upon by everyone, they all went their separated ways, continuing their life like it was just a day in the life of a family living on a ranch, though in the back of all of their minds they knew that their lives would be turned upside down for a while.

Amy picked up her hat and walked out onto the covered porch as she got ready to go back to work. She stared across the yard and drive, wondering what was waiting for her in the barn. She knew Georgie was upset and she was probably still very upset if the way she had stormed out of the house was any indication. But Amy also knew that Georgie wasn't one to go on a rampage around the horses; she knew better than that by now.

Besides, she knew that Georgie loved the horses as much as she did and found them to be a source of comfort when nothing else worked.

When she walked through the barn doors, Amy was alert but also acted as if she was simply there to do her daily chores - which in fact she was. But she was also aware that part of her job today would also be keeping an eye on Georgie.

Georgie was inside Phoenix's stall, brushing the white horse in silence. She did not give any indication that she knew Amy had come into the barn, so she gave Georgie the space she was probably longing for right now. Amy went to the blackboard, taking a piece of chalk so she could add something to the daily list of chores.

"We got a new horse. His name is Merlin", Amy started talking casually as she wrote on the board, not wanting to draw any more attention to Georgie's situation than she had to for now. Talking about it was probably the last thing she wanted to do right then. "He's actually been here before, but he was just a little colt back then."

There was no reply from Georgie, but Amy kept on talking anyway because she was trying to ease the tension in the barn from both her and Georgie. She knew the horses would feel better in a relaxed environment, and so would she, so she continued to write and talk.

"He was an orphan, so Ty and I were sort of his parents back then. We got up in the middle of the night to feed him and tried to teach him some manners while he was here. He didn't always obey but he knew how to use his cuteness to his advantage", Amy said, a warm tone in her voice. "Back then it wasn't very funny, but he's come such a long way now. Seems to be doing okay for himself."

"Then why is he here?" Georgie finally spoke.

Amy was almost startled because she had not expected to hear Georgie's voice, but she had figured talking about horses might be neutral ground for them and something Georgie might actually listen to even though she didn't appear to be interested in anything at the moment.

Besides, if Georgie was going to help her with the horses, maybe more now than usual as she she would not be attending school for a while, Amy figured she should know what was going on with the client horses. There had been few times Amy had not told her what was going on and Georgie had accidentally ended up scaring them without meaning to, or she had done something that undid what she was trying to accomplish with the horse.

If Lou was willing to communicate more openly and let people in, then maybe they could all follow her lead as they had never been very good at it as a family.

"Well, that's actually kind of what I'm writing here", Amy explained, putting the chalk down after she was done. She wiped the traces of white away from her fingers on her jeans and checked that what she had written was correct and communicated what she wanted it to. "He's having problem with eating. - Well, actually not really with eating, but he attacks people when they get near his food, kind of as if he feels like his food is going to be taken away."

Amy couldn't help but see in a way a parallel between Merlin and Georgie, even though it was something she usually saw between the horses and their owners. Slowly she started plotting a way of getting Georgie to a place where she would help her with Merlin and maybe reach a better understanding of herself through the process as well.

"Food is the source of strength for the horse. Maybe someone in his past has used taking his food away as a punishment. If that were the case it's no wonder he feels protective of it. When someone comes between him and his food..." Amy spoke her thoughts out loud. As she did she could tell Georgie was slowing down with the brushing and listening more intently even though she didn't say anything.

"He feels threatened..." Georgie stated emphatically.

Amy smiled as she could tell Georgie was starting to get interested. She knew that even if her niece was acting all tough, she would soon be surrounded by the calming effect of the horses and horse talk. Horses were pretty cool like that.

"Yeah. I'll have Ty check him first, just to rule out any medical problems, but if he seems to be okay, then it's a behavior problem or a trust issue as you stated", said Amy as she continued to try and draw Georgie into the conversation. "The tricky thing is that I don't know his complete history, so it's hard to know where to begin. It doesn't seem like it's a dominance thing, he seems so gentle otherwise", Amy said, thinking out loud again. She watched the horse who eyed them both as they were having the conversation. "He might have had trouble getting enough to eat in the past, maybe someone's even starved him", Amy continued, walking over to Merlin as she wanted to get to know him a little better. The horse seemed a little tense, probably because he was in a new environment, but he didn't seem hostile right now.

"Or maybe you know what the problem is already, you just don't want to admit it", Georgie said, stepping out of the stall to put the brushes away. There was a change in her mood again as she seemed a little bitter now.

Amy looked at her, frowning a little bit. "Oh...?" she asked, wondering what Georgie was talking about, but she was not ready for what came out of her mouth next.

"What if you and Ty messed him up with your bad parenting", Georgie lashed out. Amy was so shocked by Georgie's suggestion, she didn't know how to response.

Was this Georgie's idea of making fun of her as she had told her about them raising the colt? As she watched her and the tone of her voice, Amy realized this was not Georgie trying to kid with her; she was dead serious, and it had a profound effect on Amy.

"Isn't that how these sort of problems usually start anyway? Bad parenting." Georgie snapped as she put the brushes down and turned to face Amy.

Had Amy not been as shocked on a personal level, she might have been able to look at Georgie's behavior objectively and not have been so stunned by her words. But as she couldn't help but think what if she and Ty had actually screwed up, she didn't say anything, she couldn't think of anything to say, so Georgie walked out.

After she regained her composure, Amy decided Georgie was being nasty on purpose and trying to remove her own pain by putting it on someone else.

But on second thought, Amy couldn't say for sure that Georgie was completely wrong.

What if it had been her and Ty with their fighting about how to teach Merlin some manners that had made him develop trust issues? Or the way Ty had rewarded him for bad behavior when they had tried to make him eat? Or maybe she herself had been too hard on him by trying to set the boundaries and rules?

They had been so young with no idea what to do. Sure they had read books and followed their instinct, but horses were complex animals. Who was to say Merlin had not formed any traumas because he had been an orphan and he had only gotten to know feeding through bottle and arguing teenagers.

Maybe Georgie, as a former orphan, could relate to that feeling.

Instead of worrying about Merlin, Amy was beginning to worry about her niece even more. What if she wasn't just speaking about Merlin but herself too? What if something had happened in the past with her foster families, something she had never shared with anyone that had made her act out because she had not felt safe?

Amy stepped out and looked around the yard, watching as Georgie walked toward the grass by the pond. She wanted to follow her and talk with her as she felt her heart reaching out wanting to help. But then she saw Ty coming home from his morning shift in his all too familiar blue GMC, so she decided to let it go - for now.

Right now she just needed Ty to tell her that she was being crazy by even thinking that they could be the root of Merlin's problem.


	30. Chapter 30

As Ty stepped out of the truck, Amy quickly went to him so she could wrap her arms around him. This wasn't unusual for them after a work shift, but the intensity of Amy's embrace made Ty sense something was off.

"Hey…" he greeted, kissing her hair. He inhaled her smell, feeling like he was back home now. "How was your morning?"

"Long without you", Amy responded. She pulled her head back a little so they could exchange few kisses.

Ty smiled pleasantly and then as he watched her, he noticed the look in her eyes. "What's wrong?"

Amy was about to start explaining everything about Merlin and what Georgie had said, but she then figured maybe it was better to do it in the barn.

"I have something to show you", Amy said. She took him by the hand, but when he noticed they were heading to the barn, Ty stopped before they went any further.

"Hang on. – As it seems like we are going to the barn, we might as well take this to the loft as well", he explained, taking a can of paint from the bed of his truck. "I hopefully got the right shade this time. It should be the correct shade of red you wanted this time."

"Oh, right." Amy recalled them talking about it few days ago. But thinking about how they were building their own home and doing the finishing touches on it was only making her feel worse.

"Amy… is everything alright?" Ty checked again when Amy wasn't as delighted as he had expected her to be. She had been the one wanting the correct shade, insisting that they would visit the paint shop again to get the one they had intended to have in the first place and not the bright one they had that didn't go with the color scheme of the loft.

"Do you remember Merlin?" she asked as they continued on their way to the barn. "The colt we helped few years ago."

"The orphan one?" Ty replied after a brief moment of thought. When they walked in, he was greeted by a horse's head that had reached over the stall door. As he put two and two together, he realized the horse he was looking at was the one Amy had just talked about. "Is this…?"

"Yeah, that's him", Amy confirmed.

Ty put the can down and greeted Merlin with a few scratches on the nose that was extended to him and taking in his scent. "What a big boy you've become!" he laughed. The horse nibbled the sleeve of his jacket as they made the re-acquaintance. "What are you doing here, boy? – Is someone re-homing him?" Ty asked as he turned to Amy.

"No. He's just having this problem that they need my help with", Amy explained, still visibly doleful. "Ty, I think we might have messed him up…"

"What?" Ty said, wondering what they might have done to the horse that had had been so far-reaching. "What do you mean?"

"Well, he becomes very hostile when he's being fed", Amy explained. "And we were some of the first people to ever feed him."

"And that problem couldn't possibly be because of anything else…?" Ty asked, not really buying Amy's verdict. He reached out to embrace his wife again, knowing Amy was probably just having an off-day and imagining all sort of things when no one was there to stop her.

"I don't know", Amy said, shrugging a little. "Maybe it isn't because of us, and I don't want it to be, but… something Georgie said that made me think about our future."

"Okay… I'm lost", Ty admitted. "What does us feeding Merlin when he was a colt have to do with our future? And what did Georgie say?" he asked, gently rubbing Amy's shoulders as he watched her begin opening up. He was worried, of course, but he had also learned that sometimes Amy worried about things that didn't end up being a big deal.

"Well, when we have kids", Amy began, starting to fiddle Ty's jacket while Ty looked at her, and noticed that her eyes were gazing down a sign of insecurity. They had talked about kids, but having them wasn't something they were thinking of happening yet. But now that they were married, it was something that was one step closer and it seemed more real as the future they had planned was happening now. "I mean… what if I'm a terrible mother? What if I make mistakes and the kid ends up hating me or hurting other people because of something I did?"

"Are you serious? You're going to be a great mother, whenever that time comes", Ty said, having no doubt in his voice. "I mean, just look at the work you do with the horses. You are kind, gentle and patient, everything a good parent should be. The way you are with Georgie and Katie just makes me see it more than ever. – And you know, my parents weren't the best and I know I was a nightmare growing up because of it, but nothing's irreversible. I'm pretty okay now, right? And it was because I had people come into my life that set boundaries for me and guided me in the right direction. I was given chances to become better, and I did. People had faith in me, just like we will have faith in our kid - or kids. They will be alright."

Amy was now looking Ty into his eyes and nodded a little. She exhaled a sigh of relief, or something like it, as she wrapped her arms tighter around her husband.

"So that's what's all that has been bugging you then?" Ty checked to make sure there was nothing else that was bringing Amy down.

It had not taken long for Ty to know that Amy was the love of his life and slowly but surely he had also figured Amy was going to be a great wife and a tremendous mother to their children, once that day came. Seeing her doubting herself like this felt wrong as Ty was so sure about Amy being the exact opposite of what she was fearing she would be.

"That, and Georgie mostly… She got trouble in school", Amy told him.

"Trouble?" Ty echoed.

Amy nodded. She felt like there was so much catching up to do, and Ty had only been away half a day.

"I'll tell you all about it later. Oh, and I need to talk to you about Katie too. She came home from the hospital and she's doing okay, but they are making her take this blood thinning medicine that should help with this blood cloth she has in her head. It's possible she might be having seizures because of it. Do you know anything about those?" Amy asked as she felt overwhelmed with all she had learned today. She didn't feel she had done a very good job of explaining anything, but hoped that Ty being a vet might help her out.

"Yeah", Ty said, "I mean mostly from the veterinary side of things, but I don't think it's too far from what can happen to humans."

"That's good then", Amy replied. She was relieved she didn't have to do much explaining as this wasn't a topic she was an expert in and didn't want to mess up the explanation any more than she felt she already had.

Ty continued his thought process after Amy had given him the new information.

"Peter kind of told me about that on the phone before we took Lou to the hospital, but at that point they thought the seizure was because of asphyxia", Ty said. He had not had much time to really think about the whole thing because he had been so busy with everything, but now that he was off duty, he was starting to realize how serious everything had been. Thankfully it seemed things were starting to get better now.

Amy had become used to hearing terms that didn't make sense to her and this was one of those times, so she tried to shrug it off as if it wasn't anything that she needed to know, but she had to say: "I'll pretend I know what that means…" as she really did want to understand what it was all about.

"Asphyxia is when the brain doesn't get enough oxygen. Like if someone's choking or they have been under water, like Katie was", Ty explained patiently.

Amy nodded, realizing it made sense and it was nice to have a bit more of an understanding, though she was still not completely sure what it all meant.

"Speaking of you being a doctor… I could use your help with Merlin. I would like you to check and see if he has any medical problems, just in case. The owner doesn't think he does, as he's gotten him checked before, but I could use another opinion", Amy continued, trying to get back to the swing at things and her mind off of herself and the girls for the moment.

"Yeah, sure", Ty said, glancing toward Merlin quickly. "I'll take the can of paint upstairs and grab something to eat, but after that I'm all yours." He gave Amy a kiss, then smiling at her to let her know things were under control. "We'll figure him out. Together."

"Thank you", Amy said. "Actually… I could use something to eat too. So mind if I join you?"

"No, I'd actually love that, if you have time", Ty said, picking up the can from the floor and taking Amy's hand in his. Now that Ty had become a partner at the clinic, they had less time together, but whatever time they did have, they tried to spend it together.

Amy smiled at him. "Always for you."


	31. Chapter 31

Georgie squeezed the stones she had picked from the yard in her hand as she sat on the bottom of the boat that had been turned upside down by the pond. She watched the still surface of the water and listened the crickets sing, thinking how peaceful everything was.

It would have been the perfect spot to just relax and let her haunting thoughts drift away with the sounds of nature around her - if only Georgie had known how.

She had not been there, but as Georgie stared at the calm waters, she could still vividly see in her mind Lou dragging Katie from the water and performing CPR on her. As she thought about her sister being so close to dying, Olivia's haunting words came back to her, telling her she was not the most loved child in the family, but Katie was. Everyone loved the little girl - she did too. It was easy to love Katie; unlike her she did not have all this baggage. Maybe there were moments people thought they loved her, but as soon as she "misbehaved", they were probably questioning what good they may have thought they had seen in her.

If Katie had died, everyone would have mourned for the rest of their lives and the pain of that loss would have never gone away.

But what if it had been her? What if she had been the one they had lost? Would they have mourned her like they would have mourned Katie?

Throwing a stone into the pond, Georgie broke the stillness of it. In a lot of ways it felt like that was what she was doing to the family; they had all been a calm happy family and then she came along and she had destroyed all that calmness and happiness with the disasters she brought with her.

Why had Lou and Peter ever adopted her? Did they just want to feel good about themselves by doing something for "the less fortunate"? Did they think they could fix her and be the parents of the year because of it?

"Hey, kid." Georgie was startled by a familiar voice.

She glanced over her shoulder and saw Jade walking toward her. How quickly time had passed; school was out and as Jade had promised she had come by after her last class. Part of Georgie was happy to see her friend, but mostly she wasn't in the mood to be sociable.

"Hey…"

Jade sat next to her and watched the pond. She didn't say anything, but Georgie could tell from the way she stared at the water that she was thinking of Katie too and what had happened to the little girl.

But being the considerate friend that she was, she didn't bring it up.

"So… anything new?" Jade asked, putting her hands in her pockets as she sat in a slouch.

"Katie's home, like I said she would be", Georgie told her. "I'm still grounded. So not really."

"Sucks..." Jade commented, then continuing. "People were talking at school, 'cause of course Olivia had to let everyone know "you were psycho". It took every bit of self control in me to hold myself back so I wouldn't smack her too. But don't worry, I will make sure she's not gonna ruin your reputation." Jade knew that if something like this ever happened to her, Georgie would have her back as well.

"Maybe she's right. Maybe I am crazy and maybe I've earned my reputation all by myself", Georgie said. " I don't need Olivia to do it for me…"

Jade looked at her with concern and realized Olivia had gotten to Georgie. But as her best friend, she wasn't going to let the bully get away with this.

"No, you're wrong. And Olivia's wrong", Jade said, shaking her head. She could understand Georgie feeling defeated, as if the whole world was against her, but that was why she was here; to remind her of the truth and to stand with her.

Georgie wasn't impressed. She threw another stone in the pond, making the water ripple again. "Well, seems like everyone's thinking it - aside from you… Peter and Lou suggested I get counselling."

"What…?" Jade couldn't believe what she was hearing. "The only person here in need of counselling is Olivia Wheaton! That girl is messed up in her head and you know it! I can't believe what she said to you and I can't believe everyone's willing to take her side - even your parents. I thought they were cooler than that…"

Georgie didn't say anything, but studied the stones as if they were the most interesting thing in the world. She thought about Jade's comment and then what Peter had said to her back in her room. He had seemed to understand that Olivia had been wrong in saying what she had said and the reason she had hit her, but Georgie had began to question his sincerity after he had brought up the counselling.

If Peter thought Olivia was so wrong, why was he still so against her? Wasn't it supposed to be either Olivia's side or her side? How was he supposed to be on her team if he really wasn't?

There were only two sides, right? So what was she missing?

"I could go and talk to Peter and Lou, if you want. Let them know what Olivia said, because I was there too and it was so not fair of her. Maybe for whatever reason they think you are lying, but if I'd tell them the same thing, they might realize you're not making it up", Jade offered.

"No", Georgie reached out and stopped her from going by shaking her head.

Jade was confused. Had Georgie given up the fight?

"No!?" she echoed.

"Peter believed me - or I think he did - but… he still wanted me to see someone", Georgie explained. "I don't know about Lou, I've been sort of avoiding her, but… still. It seems like they might think what Olivia said was uncalled for, but… they also want me to get some counselling."

Maybe they weren't disappointed in her as much as they were embarrassed. Georgie knew she was a troublemaker, always causing them to look bad when they were all about "faking it to make themselves look like the ideal Canadian family". If this separation between them had proved anything to Georgie, it was that Lou and Peter were scared to face facts; instead of actually compromising on anything, they were going to avoid any uncomfortability by covering it with some lame excuse like "we are getting separated because this just isn't working out".

So maybe that's what the counselling was about; they were trying to fix her so she would fit into their "perfect little family" better. Since coming here, they had tried to change her and now it seemed like they were all out of options so they decided to get her some professional help.

Was she just a tool in their game of trying to control everything?

Georgie was brought back to the current moment by Jade's voice.

"But why? You were only defending yourself? Why would you need help?"

Jade was almost more frustrated than her friend.

"So you're saying you've never been embarrassed of me? Never wished I was different?" Georgie asked, wondering how wide-spread this feeling Peter, Lou and Jack had was. She didn't know if Amy, Ty, Tim and Lisa felt the same way as she had not dealt with this with them as much as she had with her parents and Jack.

"No, never", Jade said, shaking her head. But then she hesitated. "Or, okay, maybe when we first met; you were so annoyingly loyal to Jack and didn't have any sense of adventure in you. But ever since I've gotten to know you, I've realized that you're pretty amazing. You're brave, bold and fearless. Don't know if those are all just synonyms, but whatever. The point is, you inspire me and make me wanna be better. That's what I like about us."

"But it seems like I'm too much for everyone else. They want to take away most of that and turn me into this Stepford Child", Georgie confided. "I think that's why they want to send me to this shrink too…"

"You know they've done something like that to people in the past; it's called a lobotomy. They had these people who weren't afraid to be who they were and they saw them as threats, so they performed this "medical procedure" on them, and after that they were just drooling shells of themselves with no spunk or thought process. – You really want that to happen to you? Metaphorically speaking, of course. In reality they would probably give you so many meds that you couldn't even remember your own name. Just be proud of yourself, kid, and tell them you're not going. Having guts like that means you're gonna make it out there in the world. Take it from me, someone who's had to fight to get to the place she's at because people thought I couldn't do it; you have to keep breaking down the walls sometimes."

Georgie looked away, taking time to contemplate what Jade had said. Something about it reminded her of Peter and what he had told her to be the reason why he was so concerned about her behavior. He had said that he was afraid that if Georgie kept going like this, she was only going to get hurt and lost out there in the world.

So what was she supposed to believe…?


	32. Chapter 32

The long day was finally coming to an end, the sun was beginning to set behind the Canadian Rockies and the activities around Heartland were beginning to return to some a semblance of normal. Yet there was part of the happenings of the past day and a half still had left its mark on each of them.

Since Georgie had refused her help when it came to talking to her parents, Jade left for home after a while, but before going, she had told Georgie she would come and visit again hopefully tomorrow, seeing as they now wouldn't see each other at school and didn't even have a way to communicate as Georgie's phone had been taken away and Jack - with Lou's help - had finally found a way to cut the Wi-Fi access to her computer.

Georgie spent rest of her day exercising Phoenix, Trouble and Checkers, if only to get away from the rest of the family. She didn't feel comfortable being around them now that it felt like they were all ganging up on her.

Meanwhile, Ty had examined Merlin and found no medical reason for why he became so hostile during feeding. He had walked the horse out of his stall while Amy had put his evening food in his stall and then waited for Ty to return with Merlin so they wouldn't risk having her in a confined space with a horse that could potentially be dangerous.

They left him to settle for the rest of the day, then went back to painting the loft's walls. There was a golden hue shining through the loft windows as the sun was setting behind the mountains, and the newlyweds stopped for a moment to enjoy the view, then deciding to stay at Heartland so they could start working with Merlin early the next day, before Ty had to leave for work.

Katie was getting ready for bed, and Lou figured she could use a bath. Lou had tried to brush away of any remaining dead leaves from her hair, but the stench of the pond was still strong and Lou didn't want there to be anything to remind Katie or her about what had happened there just over a day before.

Part of the left-overs from the accident for Lou was feeling paranoid about if Ty had maybe missed pieces of glass after her recent accident with the wine glass, so Lou made Katie wear flip-flops inside the bathroom. For her it was a matter of safety, but Katie just found it fun. Lou wanted to keep it that way, and it became one of those things that she wanted to protect her from.

The less things seemed scary for her, the better.

After making few phone calls to work, Peter joined them in the bathroom and decided to shut off his phone for good. The things from work were slowly trying to take up more space in his head, but by shutting off the phone he did one more thing to help quiet those voices.

This was his family time, everything else could wait.

He saw that Lou was shutting the drain tab and getting seated next to the tub, while Katie was just about done with brushing her teeth. Peter smiled as it was good to see Katie back to doing what she usually did without any assistance or seemingly a care in the world.

"Did you get them all?" he checked as Katie was spitting out the foam and rinsing her mouth. The girl turned to give him her biggest grin to prove that she had. Peter pretended to check them very carefully and then gave a nod of approval. "Looks good."

"I'm about to lose another tooth", she declared. "It's already moving."

"You are?" Peter asked.

Katie nodded bravely. "Yeah. I can't wait to offer it to the Tooth Fairy!"

"I bet the Fairy can't wait to have your teeth in her collection."

Lou was listening to their talk and smiling. Peter was so good with the kids and it made her remember very clearly why she had thought him to be a great husband and father in the first place.

It was a shame that things had come to this.

Of course they were still a family - nothing could change that - but having him around the girls even more would have been nice. They loved spending time with him and he seemed to enjoy his time with them as well. Lou didn't want Peter's visits to become something like "babysitting", as he was their father and had as much responsibility as she did even though she was the one living with them.

"Are you ready for your bath?" Lou asked when she saw Katie putting her toothbrush and mug away.

The girl looked at the water, but seemed hesitant.

"Do I have to bathe? I wanna go to bed…" she whined.

"It won't take long", Lou promised. She didn't want to explain why it was so important to her, but she was afraid that Katie would be afraid of the water and knew that she needed to show her there was no reason to be afraid. Because if they were trying to move on with their life and not get stuck on this accident, she would have to get over any fear she might have - as would Lou and Peter.

Peter saw Katie hesitating and decided to try another approach.

"Come on, listen to your mother. You know how you love to play in the water and you can even take Ducky with you. - I promise to read you a bed time story after that."

Katie's eyes lit up. "Will you make the voices and everything?"

"I will. And you can choose the book", Peter replied.

This was an offer Katie couldn't refuse. She took off her flip-flops and clothes, and with the help of Lou, got into the bath. Peter sat next to Lou who was sitting on her legs as she watched Katie get in, not that she needed much help, but Lou liked being close to her now. A part of it probably had to do with her need to be close to her whenever she was going anywhere near water, even the bath tub.

"About Georgie…" Lou started talking when it seemed like Katie was safely seated and feeling comfortable in the water, wanting to get back to what she had thought earlier. "Grandpa said you were only trying to help me by going in alone and talking to her, and while that was kind of you, I now feel like an outsider. I don't know if it's because I've gotten used to handling things on my own here - and I know that's something we are trying to avoid now - but I wish I would have been there. I got your side of things and I trust you did the best you could, but Georgie's not talking to me and I'm not fully sure why. I mean, I get that she's mad at us because we suggested the counselling, but maybe I'm a control freak by wanting to know exactly what you said to her and what did she said back because it's affecting my life too. She barely ate anything at dinner, and I feel guilty even though I didn't do anything - or, well, much. I know the counselling was a mutual decision, but I had hoped to be there to explain it to her as well. I guess I just don't want to the silent partner because not only does it make me feel like I've lost a connection with Georgie by not knowing, but also I know what it's like to be "the bad guy" and I don't want you to be that alone, because it was our decision, not yours."

Peter nodded a little, understanding where she was coming from. But he also had an explanation for why he had thought to do it alone.

"Okay. I apologize for going solo. In retrospect, I could have used you there. But obviously we are still trying to find how to work things out as a couple again. So I screwed up, but I'll hopefully do better next time", Peter admitted. He laid his hand on Lou's hand that was on the side of the tub to create connection. "I guess not only was I trying to do you a favor, but I also wanted to add a personal touch to it. I didn't get that far, but I was hoping to talk to Georgie about my experience, so maybe she could see that counselling isn't necessarily a bad thing."

Lou nodded, understanding that whatever approach they took next, Peter input could be vital with his past being a bit similar to Georgie's.

"But... I don't want to give it another try today, it's been a long day for all of us, and besides, we still need to rethink my strategy. Obviously the one I tried didn't work. It started off well, but I think I was too quick to jump to the next stage when I said we thought maybe she could go to a counselor. Why don't we give her this night off and we'll talk to her again tomorrow? Maybe she'll be in a different mood too if she's had time to think about things and maybe realizes what we are trying to do is fix this. - And this time we'll do it together", a tired Peter said.

Lou was relieved to hear that Peter saw how important working together was to her. She nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, let's do that. - So… what happened in the room?"

Peter hesitated in his reply, mostly because he didn't want to loose Georgie's trust and he was also afraid of giving Lou information in case she decided to use it against Georgie. As much as he hated to admit it, Peter was his own kind of control freak. He still didn't completely trust Lou, especially because he knew from his own experience how important it would be to handle something like this as discreetly as possible - and Lou was hardly ever discreet. He knew she was a loving mother, but just like him, she still had a thing or two to learn about parenthood.

They were still only in the beginning of this process, and Peter did have faith that Lou would continue to do better over time, but she was still learning, which was why Peter wasn't sure she would completely understand where Georgie was coming from in this tender time.

Or maybe he was just projecting his own feelings even though Lou had been pretty good when he had told her about his own anger issues. In a way Peter felt he had much more common ground for relating to Georgie's situation and he wasn't sure if Lou understood it.

But since they had not had this type of relationship in the past, they were only starting to understand what it could be, so the fear of failure was still bigger than the hope for success.

Another reason for holding back was that he didn't want to do it in front of Katie. She was oblivious to many things that were happening around her, and Peter wanted to keep it that way for as long as possible. She deserved to have the innocence of childhood.

"Maybe I could tell you after we put Katie to bed. It's kind of a long story", Peter finally replied.

"Okay", Lou said, nodding.

One of the things that showed progress in their relationship was that Lou understood not to press it. She looked at Peter, reading his subtle cues and tried to put her focus elsewhere - for now.

Lou also wanted to think that Peter was smart enough to know what to say and what not to say and when to say or when not to say it, especially after the whole thing with Georgie had blew up in his face.

As she watched Katie splash the water in the tub, Lou got into thinking about the moment Peter had told her about his anger management problems. Keeping that in mind, she now understood that he needed his space to do the things he was meant to do, in his own way. If she was to push him and push him even more because she wanted results or couldn't wait, it would only lead to an argument and that was what they were trying to avoid now. She was hoping that over time he would trust her more and the whole processing part would take less and less time because he didn't have to rethink everything just so the conversation wouldn't turn into an argument. They needed to trust in the safety of their relationship, so that even if and when they did fail, it wouldn't turn into a disaster or isolation. It would only mean that there was room for growth.

As they sat in silence, watching Katie play with her rubber duck, Lou realized that she had become so used being a single parent by now that she no longer recalled what it was like being married.

On second thought, had she ever really known that?

Ever since getting married, she and Peter had lived mostly apart and they had made most of their decisions separately or pushed the other one in the direction they wanted to take.

It was ironic that when they were at the brink of divorce, they were just about to begin to figure this out.

"Maybe I could drive you to the Dude Ranch and we can talk then?" she suggested. Even though she was as tired, Lou knew she wasn't going to get any sleep until they had talked about Georgie.

And as it was getting late, they were starting to run out of time.

"Are you sure? I can drive there myself, if you want to head to bed", Peter offered. He could see her eyes getting heavier by the minute.

"I know, but… It's not that far. Besides I want to have my truck here, in case… something happens", Lou admitted to Peter she was still living in fear.

Peter looked at her sympathetically, wanting to tell her nothing would happen, but of course he couldn't know that for sure. He nodded, allowing Lou to have that option if it made her feel safer.

"Okay. We'll talk then", he replied, turning to watch as Katie was squirting water out of the duck's mouth into the side of the tub.

Maybe it was good that they would have privacy for this talk because if the last 24 hours were anything to go by, it seemed like there really needed to be only the two of them to talk things through for any progress to be made.


	33. Chapter 33

Lisa was helping Jack with the bed-cover as they were getting ready for bed at the end of what had been another long and stressful day. They had done their nightly routine, and it was a comfort for them that they had a routine and how easy it seemed to have come to them. After all, they lived most of their time living together apart.

Since getting married, they had talked about reevaluating their relationship and wondered if they should change things and try to fit into the mold that was created by society for married couples. But eventually they both had decided that nothing else had to change except their marital status. And through an experimental trip that had taken place before the actual wedding, it had turned out that Jack wasn't too comfortable staying at Fairfield or traveling to foreign lands, because he needed his things and his ways to feel at home, while Fairfield and Lisa's way of life was was just too far from that.

As it was difficult to re-create Heartland in another place, Lisa had just figured it was easier for her to stay at Heartland than try to make things harder for Jack. And that was how she had become accustomed to living at Heartland.

"You have been quiet tonight", Lisa noted as they set the bed-cover aside and she started taking off her jewelry.

Jack glanced at her, realizing the same thing now that his wife had said it. Sometimes he could be quiet for hours without even noticing.

He got into the bed and stretched his aching bones to rest. "I guess I have just been thinking. About Katie and Lou..."

"What about them?" Lisa asked, trying to continue the conversation. After she was done with her jewelry, she got into the bed, but remained in a sitting position so that she could take her hand lotion and moisturize her hands and feet.

Jack looked in her direction, but he wasn't really looking at her.

"Well... it reminded me of... myself", Jack admitted. "And Marion. I do think about her every day, but as of late it seems like it is more than ever. Especially after what's been going on with Lou and the girls. It reminds me so much of what happened after Tim left and how Marion was the one doing the raising. And not only that; when I thought we had lost Katie... I felt like I felt after they called me from the hospital and told me Marion and Amy had been in an accident."

Lisa remained silent and listened. It wasn't often Jack wanted to relive those memories so she realized she needed to weigh her words carefully. "Yeah, I guess I can see what you mean..."

"I know what it's like to lose a child and it all feels so backwards altogether; parents aren't supposed to bury their children. Children are orphan if they lose their parents, but the fact that there isn't a word for a parent who has lost their child says it all. It's been hard for me to accept when it isn't even considered to be something that happens to people. I'm so relieved both Katie and Lou are alright", Jack said.

"Me too. I have come to love those girls like they are my own."

Jack too realized this was not something Lisa spoke of often, but it seemed like the accident with Katie was causing people to open up without them even realizing it.

So he listened.

"It really meant a lot to me, what Lou said in the kitchen after her..." Lisa was trying to find a right word for it, ""meltdown". I know it's been an adjustment for everyone to accept me into the family and mostly it's been small growing pains, nothing I can't handle. But what she said... it was like a last blessing, a final seal of approval, if you will. Especially in a time like this when she has so many other things to think about. - And before you say anything, I know I shouldn't care about what others think - and mostly I don't, I have grown a thick skin by now - but Lou is your family, and you and I are now married, so I would really love for her to be my family, too. I have always considered her family, even before we were married, but I wasn't sure how she felt about me. I know we get along sometimes, but most of the time it seems we're just at the opposites end of everything."

"Really...?" Jack replied, almost chuckling.

"What does that mean?" Lisa asked, putting the tube of lotion away before she began to rub her hands together. It seemed to her that Jack didn't agree with her statement in some way.

"Well, you're saying you two are different but the way I see it, you and Lou couldn't be more alike", Jack shared his observation.

Lisa was about to argue, but then she got into thinking.

"Okay, maybe there's some truth to it", she admitted, coming up with situations where they had been both been stubborn, in a same way but for different reasons. "And, actually, now that you said it, it all makes more sense. I mean, we are both head-strong and it's not something that goes well with anyone with an equal amount of determination."

"Determination wouldn't exactly be the word I would use..." Jack muttered, knowing he was pressing his luck. Fortunately Lisa had a soft spot for him, so she just gently slapped his shoulder to shut him up.

"Well, I wasn't asking you..." Lisa replied, smiling. She liked that they could lighten a serious situation with a little bit of banter.

"Do you ever ask me?" Jack kept teasing as he turned on his side, his back facing Lisa. She watched him, then slowly laying down on the bed when she was through with the lotion.

"Actually, there is a question I would like to ask", Lisa said as she cuddled up to him. "I was thinking... now that you mentioned Marion; would you like to go on a trail ride tomorrow? We could take some flowers to her grave site. Maybe something with yellow."

Jack listened and realized that for some reason Lisa was aware of Marion's favorite color in flowers.

"How do you know that?" Jack was surprised. He didn't recall ever really talking much about Marion to Lisa, especially in such detail. Despite Lisa being important to him, digging up the past was not something Jack did well.

"Well, I'd like to think that it's the kind of thing family knows about", Lisa replied, kissing Jack's ear gently. But as she knew the curiosity would probably keep Jack awake all night if she didn't tell him, she decided to reveal her source. "Amy told me about Marion when I was helping her with the wedding. She wanted to have something of hers with her so she suggested we'd have yellow flowers. - I mean, eventually she didn't end up using them, but... it was still nice of her to share that with me. I could tell it was a big deal for her."

"See? You are family", Jack pointed out, slowly caressing Lisa's arm that was wrapped around him. It made Lisa's heart swell to hear those words. "And yes, I would love to go on that trail ride and get away for a while. It was nice of you to suggest it."

"And you say I never ask you..." Lisa joked a little, giving Jack a loving squeeze before she turned over to turn off the lights.


	34. Chapter 34

Lou parked her SVU in front of the Dude Ranch cabin, then glanced at the backseat. Katie was strapped in her car seat, completely oblivious to the world as she had fallen asleep on their way there. The girl had insisted on going with Lou and Peter when she had heard that Lou was going to take her father to the cabins after her bath.

Since the point was to get Katie fall asleep, Lou had figured taking her with them wouldn't actually be to far from that plan as the girl often fell asleep when they were driving somewhere. It was a trick that had worked with her since Katie had been a baby, and it had not failed this time either.

Besides, if Lou was being honest with herself, she felt better having Katie near, even if Dude Ranch wasn't that far away from the ranch in case something happened. Part of her still felt guilty for letting Katie out of sight yesterday, so now she felt like keeping her close at all times.

"Soundly asleep", Lou told Peter when she saw he was trying to check up on her too but couldn't because of his position in the front seat wasn't as good as hers.

They exchanged smiles, relieved to know that they had one less thing to worry about.

"I guess I have to save my voice acting to another time then", Peter joked, opening his seat belt.

"I guess so. Good thing you're staying for few days", Lou commented, wanting Peter to know that she appreciated it, not only for her but for the girls as well.

Peter nodded, getting his mind back on the actual topic they were supposed to talk about. "So... About Georgie..." He knew Lou was dying to hear what their daughter had told him earlier.

"Yeah... What made her react the way she did?" Lou asked.

Peter turned toward Lou so it would feel like they were actually having a conversation and not just casually chatting about something random.

"Georgie told me she had been talking to Jade, and Olivia had overheard the conversation. They had been discussing Katie's accident, and when Olivia walked up, she had said that if Katie had... died, we would have been stuck with having Georgie, and that would have been the real tragedy", Peter repeated what Georgie had told him.

Lou looked shocked, just as Peter had expected.

"Oh my god..." She couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Is she serious?! That girl is so twisted..." Lou was trying to control her anger as she didn't want that to wake Katie up. "Okay, I know this probably makes me a bad person and a horrible role model, but since Georgie's not here, I'm just going to say it: that girl deserved that punch."

Peter didn't want to comment on Lou's statement, as he knew that people were so easy to get riled up like that, not really knowing what kind of burden an act of violence could end up being, so instead he tried to move the conversation along.

"Olivia clearly has some issues, there's no denying that, but I feel like maybe no one is really aware of that. From everything I know, she seems like the kind of person who is great at manipulating, and when the finger points at her, she's quick to play the victim. That is why I think we should try to talk to her parents. Do you know them? Or how we could contact them?" Peter asked, not wanting to jump on into the same emotional bandwagon Lou was on now, but also not wanting to deny Lou's right to feel the way she did. As long as she didn't act on it or didn't internalize it or pass it on to their kids, she was allowed to be furious. What Olivia had said was completely out of line after all.

"Oh yeah, I know her mother, alright", Lou said, huffing out of anger. "She was Amy's client once and the impression I got was that she's probably partly to blame for her daughter's behavior. She threatened to sue Amy because Olivia's horse got hurt." Lou seemed bitter and almost as if she had waited for a moment to get back at Mrs. Wheaton.

Peter recalled hearing something about that not too long a time ago. He squinted his eyes as he was trying to recall the details.

"Was that the time Georgie took over and tried to force the horse to jump...?" he asked carefully. Peter hoped he got the facts right as he was trying his best at being a father even if most of the time he was acting the part from a distance.

Lou turned her head back toward Peter, as she didn't appreciate his choice of words, but deep inside she had to admit maybe it wasn't as cut-and-dry a situation as she had made it to be. But maybe this was one of those things she wanted to be black and white so she would know exactly how to react and who to point the finger at because it made it easier to handle.

"Well, yeah, I mean there was that, but..." she stuttered, trying to find a way out, "I don't know, she just rubbed me the wrong way regardless", Lou continued, wanting to defend Georgie even more than ever. Maybe it was also because her butt was on the line or maybe just because she was a mother.

"Hey..." Peter had noticed Lou's defensive mode and realized maybe Lou was feeling like she was cornered by him. "I'm not trying to defend her mother, I'm just trying to be aware of the facts. If we stoop to a level where we just place the blame back and forth, there's never going to be a resolution. Things have happened in the past, and both Georgie and Olivia have done a lot of things to make this situation more difficult, but we can't keep fighting about that. We have to come up with a solution, because unless we do, this is never going to end. Georgie and Olivia need our help with this - that's our job as parents and adults. We need to show them we are all better than this. And you and I are in this together too, right?" he stated the fact that they were going into this as a couple, not individuals, wanting to bring Lou out of her corner.

Lou turned her mopey face toward him, then nodding a little. She figured he had noticed she had gotten upset and needed someone to give her support.

"I feel like a fool now..." Lou admitted, realizing how she must have looked now that Peter had said all he had to say. "It's no wonder Georgie doesn't know better because I keep being petty like this. I don't know why that is... Maybe it's my competitive nature; I always have to be better."

Peter knew all about that, but instead of making Lou feel worse about it, he decided to turn it around.

"Well, maybe you can still be better", he suggested. "You can use that competitive nature of yours by not stooping on their level. Show them you are the better and more mature adult in this situation."

"Maybe..." Lou said, then taking time to think about the other thing that was hovering over them. "What about the counselling? Are we still on board?"

"I think we should be", Peter replied. "You don't happen to know anyone who's dealt with children in this way, do you?"

"No, but we could ask Dr. Virani, Grandpa's doctor. I'm sure she knows somebody", Lou said, knowing that it would take new kind of courage to go and ask someone for help, especially someone who knew her and her family on a personal level and would be in position to judge the way they were parenting.

But maybe that was just her way of thinking. After all, Tricia Virani was a professional and she had never given Lou a reason to think that she wasn't. Maybe knowing them on a personal level could even make her even more discreet about the matter.

"Okay, so maybe you could call her tomorrow and I'll call Olivia's parents, and set up a meeting?" Peter suggested. If Lou was feeling as fiery as she did today, he didn't want to risk her getting into an argument with the Wheatons, just in case.

"And then we'll talk to Georgie, together?" Lou checked before she agreed with the terms. Peter nodded.

"And then we'll talk to Georgie together", Peter echoed, figuring maybe it was better for Lou to hear him say those words in order for her to calm down and get some peace of mind.

"Okay, then I'm fine with that", Lou said, smiling out of a relief. The look was what Peter had been hoping for and as an impulse, he leaned in and kissed Lou on the lips without realizing things weren't as they had been in the past.

As their lips touched, they both quickly leaned back, realizing what had just happened.

"Sorry, that was-" Peter tried to explain quickly, "an old habit." He avoided eye contact, turning to the door, acting like he was just about to get out of the car.

"It's fine, don't worry about it", Lou replied, trying to act cool but her cheeks were giving something else away. "Uh, so... I guess we'll talk tomorrow", she tried to move on, not wanting to make more awkward than it had to be. "Do you want me to bring you breakfast or would you like to join us at the ranch?"

"I will join you, if that is okay", Peter replied, wanting to be around more now that he was actually present anyway. He might have not been part of the big family, but at least he wanted to be part of his own. "Heartland's not too far from here, I can walk, so you don't have to come all the way here."

"Oh, okay. Well... come by whenever", Lou replied, nodding nervously. Her lips were still tingly from the kiss and she couldn't stop thinking about it as it had been so unexpected and something she had not experienced for months. "Goodnight."

Peter grabbed his duffel bag from between his feet and opened the door, giving Lou one last smile before he stepped out.

"Goodnight. Sleep well."

"I'll try", Lou replied.

He shut the door quietly, setting his eyes on the sleeping Katie for the last time through the window before he walked toward the cabin and fished the key from his pocket.

Lou started the engine and drove herself back to the ranch. Her heart was racing, and even though there was a lot of new information in her head and she tried to focus on the plan for the future with Georgie, Lou couldn't help but think about the past - and especially the kiss.

She had not thought about Peter as anything other than her soon-to-be-ex and father of their children for months now, but it felt like something else was trying to push through.

Had she found her husband?


	35. Chapter 35

Early in the morning, Ty pulled open the barn door so Amy and Merlin could walk out to the round pen. Both Ty and Amy were still sleepy-eyed, but ready to see if Merlin was willing to join-up. The horse had been behaving well as long as they walked him out of his stall before putting his food out for him, then putting him back in the stall and leaving him be while he ate. But while that was an option for the owner as well, Amy didn't want to make that hard for the man and his daughter, she wanted the horse to feel secure at all times. That was best for the owner and the horse.

"It's a beautiful morning", Ty commented as Amy walked Merlin to the pen.

"Yeah it is", she agreed, letting the horse loose after Ty had closed the gate. She sent Merlin to trot around the pen with few simple movements while Ty climbed up on the bars to watch what was happening with Amy and Merlin as she continued to make him move around the pen.

He hung his arms loosely over the bar and observed. "Let's see how he's feeling today", Ty said to himself as he watched the two of them.

They had ruled out any medical reasons for his behavior the night before, so Amy was relieved but also puzzled about what could possible be the reason for Merlin's strange behavior. Had it been a medical problem, they could have probably been able to fix it, but then again Amy didn't like knowing that the horse had some pain or disease weighing him down. The unfortunate thing with behavior problems was that they were hard to figure out and as Amy didn't have the complete background story for Merlin, it was going to be a task to figure out the root of the problem.

"That's a good boy", Amy murmured as Merlin reacted to her every movement just as she wanted and finally joined up like there was nothing to it. "Good job", she praised the horse, turning to face the gelding standing behind her.

Ty watched the scene smiling, thinking how seeing Amy join up with a horse never got old.

"I'm going to try massage him now just to see if feels tense when I touch him", Amy explained partly to Ty and partly to the horse so he would be aware where she was in case he wondered what she was going to do as he watched her reach out toward his neck and shoulders.

"He was pretty good when I checked him last night", Ty added. "Usually horses that feel threatened pull their heads up, shying away, or don't like letting someone pick up their feet, but... Merlin was a dream customer."

"That's what I'm hearing and seeing too", Amy replied, gently running her hand through the coat, her mind constantly ruling out possibilities that did not seem fit. "So what is it that's bothering you, huh?" she asked from the horse, even though she knew Merlin couldn't answer. "No one's trying to take away your food."

"You've given us a free pass, right?" Ty checked if Amy had actually moved on from her earlier theory. Amy glanced at him over Merlin's back, figuring he must have been talking about what she had told him last night in the barn. She was feeling like Ty was thinking of her as being ridiculous for her theory.

"I know it sounds stupid, since a lot of time has passed, and while I think the chances of us being the original problem are slim, I'm not completely willing to rule that out. If I've learned anything from watching Lou and Peter, is that parenting can be hard. Sometimes you think you're doing the right thing, but it doesn't go the way you planned", Amy replied, feeling sympathy for the couple in the middle of marital and parenting problems.

Ty cocked his head and looked at Amy. _Where had that come from?_ They were working with Merlin and while he knew she saw herself as more than just a trainer with the horses, this was quite a leap - even for her.

"What does Lou and Peter's parenting have to do with Merlin? Or are we even talking about the horse at the moment?"

"We are", Amy confirmed. "I just... feel like in some way we were Merlin's parents back in the day, and to have him here now... I don't know - it feels like there's all this worry about making it as a parent in the air."

"Is that why you kept tossing and turning last night?" Ty asked. The bed in Amy's old bedroom wasn't big, so whenever Amy had turned over in the bed, Ty had bounced up and down with her. He knew she had not done it on purpose, but Ty had hardly gotten any sleep and was now running purely on the coffee he had drank - which made him even more cranky than usual. "You were thinking about Lou and Peter?"

The way Ty said his statement made Amy feel like she was guilty of something. "So what if I was? They are family", she snapped.

"But we have talked about this - a lot", Ty snapped back at her.

"I know you said that I should focus on my own life, but I can't", said a now very defensive Amy.

Even though she was many feet away, she could hear Ty sigh. The way he looked elsewhere for a moment, let her know that Ty was disappointed, and she couldn't understand why it was such a big deal to him.

"Can we just focus on Merlin now, please?" Amy tried to find a way out of Ty's lecture.

"I am not the one who changed the subject by bringing Lou and Peter into it", said Ty in a sarcastic tone. "Amy, I just don't understand why you insist of putting yourself into the middle of other people's messes", he expressed his point of view again.

Amy wasn't in the mood to talk about it, so in her usual way of not facing a problem, she turned her head away.

"We'll talk about it later", Amy said, this time with much firmer tone.

Ty shook his head.

"Will we? Because it seems like no matter how many times I try to tell you that you should stay out of it, you don't. It's like you're not even listening to me, so what's the use of talking?"

"I'm working right now, okay?" she responded, partly as an excuse but also because there was a real reason for her request. She didn't like to be agitated because Merlin could easily feed off it, and the point of the join-up and the massage was to calm him down and make him trust her, so her being upset would have just the opposite effect.

"Yeah, well I'm leaving for work soon, which means I'm gonna be away the whole evening and then when my shift's done, I'm going to go to bed, so when are we gonna talk about it exactly? Tomorrow?" Ty asked, again sarcastically.

He didn't like this hovering over his head through the whole day. There was an easy solution to this, but Amy wasn't willing to take it. When she would start minding her own business, she didn't have anything to stress about anything - simple as that.

"Oh, would you like me to come to the clinic while you're in the middle of a surgery to talk about this then?" Amy said, angrily. "Because that's exactly what this feels like to me now. I asked you to help me, not give me a lecture about how you think I should live my life. I'm sorry if I care about other people so much, but, you see, I don't think that makes me a bad person - as you apparently do."

"I'm not saying it makes you a bad person, Amy. I'm just saying that I see you stressing about things that you shouldn't be stressing about. The reason I'm telling you to stop is because I don't like seeing you so stressed when there's an option where you wouldn't have to stress about it so much", Ty explained himself. "I'm only thinking what's best for you."

"Or perhaps you are only thinking about you", Amy suggested. "You will never understand how I feel, you don't come from the same kind of family situation as I do. I actually want to help my family."

Ty was hurt for Amy using "the family card".

"That's not true, and you know it", replied Ty. He wanted to tell her about the time he had spread his father's ashes or the time he had given money to Lily's rehab, but the fact was, Amy knew all that, yet she was still claiming he didn't know how family worked. But that was not the point of this argument, anyway. They were fighting about something else and using the kind of weapons they knew would hurt the most.

"Well, Ty, it's _my_ family. So when something's wrong with _my_ family, something's wrong with me. I can't just act like I don't see or feel it. I need to deal with it, I need to help them", she said, walking toward Ty now.

"Why is that your job? Huh?"

Amy didn't understand his question. "Why not? If I can help, shouldn't I?"

" _Are_ you helping?" Ty wanted to know if Amy really thought she was. "They are gonna be okay without you, Amy. Katie's home, she's taking this medication, and you told me that Lou and Peter are looking into getting help for Georgie. What's there for you to stress about? I feel like you're just looking for something to worry about when there's nothing there."

Amy didn't like the way Ty made her feel bad for caring about her own family, so she turned around and walked back to Merlin, to find solace from the horse when she wasn't getting it from her husband. She tried her best not to say something she might regret later. Not that she would know what to say anyway; even after years of arguing with Ty, she still didn't know how to end it in any other way than walking away from the situation. At some point, as usual, she shut down. She was tired of arguing, as it never seemed to lead to a solution and she just didn't want to talk about it anymore. It was as if she had the right the feel the way she felt and Ty didn't have a right to question it or challenge her.

As she had always said; talking was overrated.

"I'm just looking out for you, Amy", Ty tried one last time to communicate with his wife. She never turned around, but the tone of her voice told him all he needed to know.

"Yeah, well you don't have to. Just because I'm your wife now, doesn't mean I'm helpless. I can deal with this on my own." Her voice was shaky, and she tried her best to not to let it show. But it was no use, because Ty could hear it, loud and clear, and be began to realize just how upset his wife was.

"The thing is, you don't have to. That's the whole point of being of us married."

It seemed like Amy didn't need his help with anything anymore, so Ty stepped down from the fence, letting her have it her way - for now. He had made his opinion clear and if she wasn't willing to listen, so there was not much more he could do without making it worse.

"I'll be in the loft", Ty said as he stomped off towards the barn, "in case you need me."

But he wasn't counting too much on it.


	36. Chapter 36

Lisa leaned on the frame of the door and brought her hand to her chin thoughtfully. From the creaks of the floorboards she could hear Jack walking quietly up behind her as she watched Lou sound asleep in Katie's bed. The little girl had been up for hours now, she had eaten her breakfast and even taken her pills. Jack and Lisa had been willing to assist Katie with her morning routine, but when she had wanted to go to her room to play with Remi, Lisa had discovered Lou where she had probably crawled in the night before.

"You suppose she slept there?" Jack whispered.

"Well, it's only natural to want to be near your child after something like that, isn't it?" she mused, glancing over her shoulder. "And the main thing is that she's getting some sleep. After the last 48 hours she's had, it's a blessing."

"Yeah, it is", Jack agreed, still speaking lowly. "Should we wake her up?"

"No, absolutely not", Lisa said, gently pushing Jack out of the doorway and then closing the door behind them quietly so Lou would get some privacy. "She should sleep as long as she can. We can handle everything else."

"And what do you suggest we do with the princess in the living room who insists on having the tea party in "her castle" right now?" Jack wanted to know. He knew how hard it was to resist that face - Katie knew how to work it in her favor - let alone how tempting it was to let her get her way if she decided to threw a tantrum.

"Well, we just do something else?" Lisa suggested.

"Oh, good luck with that…" Jack chuckled, rolling his eyes, knowing all too well how that was probably going to go down.

That was when they heard the screen door slam shut.

"Hello…? Anybody in?" Peter's voice echoed from the mud room.

"Daddy!" Katie yelled and ran in her princess dress to jump into his arms all the way from the living room and through the kitchen.

Peter picked her up, laughing in delight. "Hey, Katie-Kat!"

Both Jack and Lisa walked to the kitchen to greet the him. Jack gave Peter a nod and smiled.

"Morning, Peter", Lisa said.

"Good morning", he replied. "Sorry, I wasn't sure if I should knock or just walk in. I don't really know what my... status with you is right now, but I figured since it looked like no one was in the kitchen, that I'd just come in. Lou said I could come for the breakfast."

"Well, of course. Let me fix you something", Lisa offered immediately.

"Thanks", Peter said, walking inside with his daughter in his arms. "Have you eaten your breakfast already, princess? And taken the medicine?" he checked as he sat down on the chair.

Katie nodded enthusiastically. "Uh-huh".

When Jack noticed Peter had broken a sweat, he had to ask:

"You walked all the way from the Dude Ranch?"

"Yeah. Lou took me there last night and she preferred to have her truck here, so I said I didn't mind walking back. Besides it'll do me some good, not only because I can work on my thoughts, but also because I'm not hitting the gym while I'm here."

"Well, you won't find any gyms nearby, that's for sure, but good old ranch work will help you stay in shape if you're interested", Jack joked.

Peter laughed a little, pointing his finger toward the old man as a sign of point taken. It was times like these when he realized he and someone like Jack were from two different worlds. Peter didn't mind the ranch work, it just wasn't his go-to way to exercise. Maybe that was one of the reasons he felt so out of place at Heartland, as no one else besides Lou really understood the kind of lifestyle he preferred to lead.

Though, as he looked over at Lisa, who was preparing him breakfast, he realized that she might as well. He wondered how Lisa had been able to adapt so well to the Heartland way of life. She had always been - or still was - a woman of the world, so to speak.

"I'll keep that in mind, thanks", Peter said.

"So… speaking of you staying here…" Jack began as he sat down at the table to keep Peter company while Lisa was preparing his breakfast.

"Oh - oh, I can pay the rent, you don't even have to ask", Peter offered, figuring he knew what this was going to be about. "I mean, I get you could easily be renting the cabin to someone else, but you are stuck with me. Just because I'm somewhat family and because something like… this happened, doesn't mean I should be a freeloader."

"Don't be silly", Lisa cut in before Jack had a chance to answer. "The house is full, so where else are you gonna sleep? The couch? The truck? I don't think so. You stay as long as you want. As someone who is helping Lou to run the Dude Ranch, I insist. We are not going to go bankrupt because of you."

"I wasn't going to talk about that, actually", Jack felt he had to clarify as he felt like he been made out to look like a not-very-hospital guy, "but I'm glad that's now cleared. I was about to ask how long are you planning to stay? Not that there's any problem, but… if you don't mind me expressing an opinion, I feel like this is the kind of time when you want to focus on your family."

"Oh, yeah, I completely agree with you there, Jack", Peter said, not wanting to seem like he was only here for as long as it was necessary, but because he wanted to be there and because he also wanted to show that even though he and Lou were separated, they were all still a family. "I don't know how long I will be staying, but I will be here as long as it's necessary. I don't want to do a half-ass–" he realized they were in the presence of a small child, so he quickly rephrased himself, "I want to do this properly. Georgie needs our support right now as well, it's crucial we turn this whole thing around before it's too late."

"I'm with you on that", Jack said, happy to see that Peter was putting his family first at last - or at least that was how he saw it.

"Speaking of Georgie; have she and Lou had their breakfast yet?" Peter inquired. He had been looking forward to eating with his family, but it seemed like he had missed the window with Katie at least.

"Well, Georgie's in the shower, but Lou's still sleeping", replied Jack. "Georgie hasn't eaten much, so hopefully you'll be able to help with that."

"I hope so. She really needs to eat", Peter agreed.

"And so do you", Lisa stated, setting an omelette before him on the table with some sides and a fresh cup of coffee. "So dig in."

"Thanks, Lisa", he said, looking at her with appreciation. Even though he was an outsider in this house, right now he didn't feel quite so much so.


	37. Chapter 37

Peter stood behind Katie's door for a while, holding a tray, and wondered if he should knock, to let Lou know someone was entering the room. He knew she was decent, Jack and Lisa had told him so, but even if she had not been, it was not like they had not been married for years and he didn't know how she looked whatever her state of dress. But as of late, they had started to build an invisible wall between them where things they had done in the past were not somehow "allowed" anymore or they were supposed to withdraw from things that had been part of their every life before.

One of those things had actually happened last night.

Peter could remember them kissing in the past few times after the announcement of separation, but the further they got from the decision to go different ways and the closer to thinking about finally making it official through the divorce, the less intimacy there was and he knew it was a conscious decision on both of their parts. They had eventually grown accustomed to it because that was part of the process; they couldn't and shouldn't have the benefits of a married couple if they weren't ready to have it all - the good, the bad, the ugly.

But the kiss they had shared last night seemed to take him back few steps. It was not that he was in a hurry to get divorced, not at all, but maybe Lou was. And if she was, Peter didn't want to hold her back as he felt bad for doing that for years now. Peter knew he had married an amazing woman with a lot of potential, and part of the reason why she was so frantic sometimes these days was probably because she had dreamed big but because of Peter's job, she had had to give up on some of her dreams, even though the whole reason for Peter working so hard was to allow her to have the freedom to choose.

He didn't want to hold Lou back, he really wanted her to thrive, but in order for her to do so - in his mind at least - he had to succeed and eventually he had pushed himself right into bankruptcy. And now there had been few years of this awkward waiting state as he had tried to get his feet underneath him again, and that included the possibility of Lou giving up potential opportunities.

Eventually, it was, he thought, probably that waiting stage that had destroyed their marriage and set them on the road to where they were today.

Peter felt bad for keeping Lou from who-knows-what-kind of dreams she may have had, as she had taken on the raising of his family and waiting on him, only for her to realize that she might be waiting forever and he wasn't the man she had thought him to be after all. He wondered if she felt that she had wasted those years with him because she had thought she had seen something more in him than what had ended up being there.

Despite all the problems and fighting, Peter still loved Lou, even though everything had gotten far more complicated than they had intended in the first place. But maybe that was exactly why he loved her; no one else knew him like she did or had shared all the things that had happened to them like Lou. They had an understanding of it all, even if their point of views were sometimes different. But it was the bond that kept them together. That and the girls, of course.

Peter put the tray on the table next to her door and decided to knock. Maybe it was the guilt of crossing the line last night or common decency, but he felt like respecting Lou now more than ever. She deserved that.

As he picked up the tray and faced the door, Lou was starting to become aware of the world around her again as she woke from her slumber. She was still sleepy and it took her a while to realize where she was, but when she located herself, Lou sat up on the bed, immediately full of concern, while not even realizing what had woken her up. She began to frantically look around the room.

"Katie!" she called.

 _Where was the girl? She didn't see her anywhere! What time was it? How long had she been asleep?!_

Hearing Lou call out Katie's name, Peter decided that was his cue to enter the room, if for no other reason than to calm her down and let her know that Katie was okay.

"Hey... Good morning", Peter said quietly announcing his entrance to the bedroom as he pushed the door open with his shoulder and walked in, holding the tray.

A surprised Lou looked toward the door.

"Peter...?" said a frightened Lou. "Katie is gone!"

Peter smiled and shook his head and said softly: "No, she is fine. She got up hours ago and has been with Jack and Lisa. They fed her and have given her her meds as well."

"Oh... Good, that's good", said a relieved Lou, telling herself to calm down. She looked at Peter, remembering he was still here and she had actually asked him to join them for breakfast when she had dropped him off at the cabin last night. "What time is it?" she asked still trying to get her bearings.

"Time for you to eat", Peter just said, sitting down next to Lou on the bed with the tray.

"Where's Katie now? Did you say she was with Grandpa and Lisa?" Lou asked again.

"Yes, she is", he confirmed again. Peter realized that Lou may not have been fully awake so he repeated what he had told her earlier. "She's been up for hours, according to Lisa and Jack. They have given her breakfast and her meds, and she's now trying to turn Remi into a horse with the help of her magic wand. So, I'd say there's nothing you to worry about", Peter replied, hoping it would help her settle down and eat her breakfast.

"Except if she really turns the dog into a horse", Lou said. It took Peter a while to realize she was joking and when he did, it made him smile. It was nice to see Lou actually letting her sense of humor come out again. "Because then we would have a magician on our hands and who knows who - or what - she might zap next."

As he looked at Lou, Peter saw the relaxed smile and the twinkle that had returned to her eyes. He was hit with the realization that things really were getting back to normal and Lou was starting to be her own self again. He laughed, and Lou joined him, easing the tension they had both felt for the past couple of days.

"Well, we'll worry about that when it happens then", Peter replied, going along with her mood.

Lou looked at the tray, wiping her sleepy eyes to really appreciate the view. "Oh gosh, you're bringing me breakfast... That means I've overslept and everyone else has had their breakfast already. I'm sorry. I know I said we'd have it together, like a family."

"It's okay, I don't mind", Peter assured her. "We'll have a rain check on that. I'm just glad Katie's seems to be back to normal and you've gotten some sleep as well. That's two less things for me to worry about."

As Lou took a better position in her child's bed, Peter sat the tray in her lap and she started to eat the food that he had brought her. While eating, she began to think about the day and knew that there was one thing they were both still worrying about.

"I'll find you Mrs. Wheaton's number after I finish this wonderful breakfast". She realized how much she appreciated the service Peter had done for her. "And then I'll call Tricia. After that, I think we should talk to Georgie", Lou said out loud to Peter as she started to plan out their day.

Peter nodded, but he wasn't in a rush. "Just take your time. It's like they say: if you don't take care of yourself, how do you expect to take care of anyone else", he reminded her.

"But you know I can't relax before I've taken care of things", Lou said.

"Well, maybe you- we should learn to work on that. I mean, I feel like this whole thing has made me look at things in a different way; it has made me want to fix things that I just went with before. We don't have to repeat the same old patterns over and over again. I wish I would have realized that sooner and not when things had fallen apart", Peter spoke his thoughts out loud. "Maybe they would not have fallen apart if there had been more solid foundation."

"What are you talking about exactly?" asked Lou.

"Sorry, I kinda spoke my thoughts", said Peter. "I was talking about always being in such a hurry to get things done and done the way I want them to be done that I have missed out on what should have been the best part of our marriage... Things that we work on together and come to an agreement on, instead of charging head first into the situation and winning by my shear will."

This started Lou to thinking. Who was this man sitting next to her on the bed and where had he been all these years. As bad as the situation with Katie had been, it was almost worth it - only because Katie was fine - to see the change in Peter. His words also made her stop and take stalk in the words he had spoken.

"Speaking of repeated patterns..." She felt like there was something she had to get off her chest if she was supposed to relax. "About that kiss last night..."

Peter looked at her, not sure what to say or how to feel about Lou's statement. Could he tell her truthfully how he felt? Would that be fair to her? It had been an impulse kiss, yet it had in many ways caused him to remember times that were best left behind, especially if she did not have those feelings as well. Peter was finding this new communication with Lou something that he realized he missed. But now he had to tell her what she may or may not want to hear. There was no right answer for him here, so he took the one that - even if there were feelings on her part - was what he felt was the right approach at the moment.

"I know. I'm sorry about that. It was just an automatic reaction", he replied. "Like we used to do when we had had a talk and said goodnight. I didn't even realize it was coming until I had already kissed you. It's kind of weird how you store things like that within you and don't even realize how they've become part of you. But, you don't have to worry. I don't wanna cross any more lines and make you uncomfortable. I realize it's not what should happen when a couple is going through a separation. I'll try to keep myself more in check", Peter explained.

Lou nodded as she was not sure what she had expected him to say, but what he had said made sense. She could not help remembering her own thoughts after it had happened.

"Okay", she said deciding to give herself more time to think about that her own reaction, as it seemed it was a little bit different from what Peter had told her. Was it only her who had felt that little spark, had he moved on and it was, as he said, only a reflex? When she did not reply and it appeared that Peter didn't seem to want to push her to give her reaction, she decided to allow herself to mull it over. Maybe it was going to be a process and she would feel the same way as he did eventually, but since it had been so sudden and so surprising, she was still wallowing in her old feelings as they were the only things she had ever known to have toward him.

"Thanks for the breakfast", she said instead, smiling a little bit.

Peter returned her smile. "No problem."

While he had wished she would have told him her reaction, he was happy that she did not seem to be upset with him. It was not always the reaction that he got from talking with her anymore, so it was a good thing.

Lou finished her juice as she thought how much she appreciated his gesture, especially now that something like this wasn't expected in any shape or form. Before, Lou would have hoped for him to pamper her like this, maybe she had even not-so-subtly asked him to do things like this for her sometimes, but now... it was all him. It was strange how bittersweet it made her feel; as if she was only now beginning to get everything she had ever wanted when she had decided to loosen up and let things go.

Maybe, like Peter had said, if there had been more of that freedom, then maybe things would not have fallen apart in the first place.


	38. Chapter 38

As Georgie was brushing her wet hair in front of a mirror, she looked at her body that was covered with a towel and realized it was starting to look more feminine every day. She remembered coming to Heartland, wearing baggy jeans and a dirty hoodie, and no one had been sure if she was a boy or a girl.

That had always been the intention.

 _"Okay, like we practiced", a man's voice echoed in her head. "And don't be a sissy. Use your strength, like any boy would."_

She let her mind drift back to her younger years, playing catch with her former foster father in their backyard. Her foster mother had watched them through sunglasses, from under the parasol as she had not wanted to get too much heat from the beaming sun.

 _"Lee… Stop saying that. Georgina's not a boy", the mother had said. Georgie could recall hearing her foster mom saying that many times before and after that afternoon too._

She put the brush away, remembering how happy she had been in that moment, just being part of a family with loving parents and a little sibling on the way.

 _Lee had walked to her foster mother, still holding the baseball glove in other hand, knelt down on the patio to worship her round pregnant belly, then giving it and her a gentle kiss._

 _"Well, yeah, you're right. The boy is on his way", he had said._

Georgie was startled by a knock on her door. As she realized someone was behind it, she took a blanket, covering herself up.

"Who is it?" she asked, thankful that whoever it was, they had waited patiently for her to answer the door. She hated when people invaded her space. And besides, she was feeling weird about her body, so being in a towel and in such a vulnerable position was not the way she wanted to be with anyone right now.

"It's Lisa. I was just wondering what would you like to eat for breakfast", she asked through the door. "I could make you anything you want."

"I'm not hungry", Georgie said, even though her stomach was already giving her hard time for not taking care of it as she had not eaten since early the day before.

Even though Lisa couldn't see her, she could tell Georgie wasn't telling the truth. She had been around since yesterday and seen the neglect Georgie was putting herself under, but as long as she was in the picture, Lisa wasn't going to allow for her to keep neglecting herself like that, if she could help it.

"I'm going to make you breakfast anyway. You don't have to come downstairs if you don't want to", Lisa replied, thinking she knew what the problem with the eating was, "I can just bring it here."

Georgie had to admit, the offer was tempting. She was hungry and already feeling light-headed, but there was still a rebel in her that didn't want anything to do with any of the adults in this house. And even if Lisa was one of the good guys, Georgie was still mad at Jack, so being nice to Lisa was like caving in to Jack.

Who knows, maybe she was "working for him", trying to lure her out so he could yell at her again about who knows what.

"I said I'm not hungry", she said back.

Behind the door, Lisa was shaking her head.

"Well, you're gonna get food anyway", she said to herself out loud as she turned to go back to the kitchen. She was not going to let her principles slide either. She would bring food back to the door, and Georgie could still refuse to eat it, but at least she would know that she had done all she could do.

Even though she was many years senior to Georgie, Lisa could still remember being a teenager, and it had not been easy with the strict parents she had had. It was then she had vouched never to be like them, always be caring and understanding, as long as it was possible. Even if she wasn't technically a parent herself, she could still at least be one hell of a good (adoptive) grandparent.

"So…? What's the verdict?" Jack asked when Lisa got downstairs and walked to the kitchen.

"Still stubborn, but I'm not gonna let that stop me", Lisa announced, going to the fridge and taking the milk out. She knew Georgie liked her cereals in the morning, so she was going to get them if it was the last thing she did for her.

"Hold on... You're not gonna cater her, are you?" replied Jack when it started to look like Georgie was getting breakfast in bed, just like Lou had.

"She has to eat", Lisa stated as she was wondering what the girl's favorite cereal out of the three they had in the cabin was.

"Well, I agree with you on that, but if she wants to eat, she will have to come to downstairs and act civil", Jack explained, making sure Lisa was aware how he ran this house. "Giving in and letting her isolate herself just because she thinks she's right and we are wrong is only going to make this situation more difficult than it already is."

"I don't accept what she did, but she still has to eat. How do you expect this will go down if she's grumpy and has a massive headache because of low blood sugar?" Lisa asked taking a box of cereal from the cupboard, only to be stopped by Jack as he removed the box from her hand.

"This is not how I've handled things here before and it will not be how I handle them now either", said Jack in a very stern voice. "When Ty was a young punk and acting like an ass, he expected special treatment too. He was just arrogant enough to think we would let him run all over us. Well, I didn't give him any special treatment–"

"Can't say that surprises me…" Lisa murmured, sighing, feeling like Jack was making this harder than it had to be. Jack ignored her snide remark and kept going, making her wonder if he had even heard her. She had seen Jack like this before, and he usually was not listening to anything but the sound of his own voice.

"He had to work for his food, he soon learned how to respect others, and look where he is now. It may be tough love, but it works", Jack said, putting the box back to the cabinet. "Same goes for everyone else. As soon as we start giving in and bending over backwards for them, they have won and we will never gain back the respect we once had. – I wasn't about to treat Ty any differently because he had had a hard life, so I'm not about to treat Georgie any differently now either. It's how I do things around here, and if you don't like it, no one's expecting you to stay here."

Lisa was shocked at what Jack had just said, whether it had been intentional or not, it cut her to the quick. She knew he could be a hard ass, and single-minded when he started making a point. But what he had just said, while he was busy making his statement about the way he chose to handle things, was a new low even for him in his state of mind.

"I can't believe you just said that…" Lisa scoffed, walking pass Jack.

Jack realized Lisa looked upset and he was not sure why. It could not have been because he had denied her helping Georgie; she had to see that he was right. He tried to go back and think through what he had just said, trying to figure out what it was that seemed to have hurt Lisa.

She stopped and turned around, and the stare she gave him chilled him to the bone. "We are married, Jack. And maybe we aren't the most traditional couple in that sense, but I still expected you of all people to be more understanding how this works… It may not be my house, but at least I expected it to be my home."

Lisa felt she needed to get outside and away from Jack to get some fresh air. She walked out on the porch, slamming the screen door shut behind her and leaving Jack standing stunned in the kitchen as the words she had just said began to sink in.

Inside, Jack replayed the scene in his head, wondering what had given Lisa the impression that he didn't think Heartland was her home as much as anyone else's. Whatever it had been, it made him feel terrible and sick inside. Jack didn't want her to continue to think that way, so he followed her to the porch.

"Lis…" Jack tried as soon as he stepped out. The woman was holding back tears, staring ahead toward the yard and her hands clasped together in front of her. "I'm really sorry. I did not mean to hurt you", he said, still not sure what he had said, but knowing it must have been bad for Lisa to take it this way.

"Is that how you see us? That when we're here, we're on "your turf", and when we are at Fairfield, we're on mine?" she asked, turning toward Jack now. "Because when we are at Fairfield, I want you to feel like it's your home there too. I know you don't feel comfortable staying there, but that still doesn't stop me from wanting you to feel that it is your home as much is it is mine." Lisa saw that deer in the headlights stare meaning as it seemed Jack had no idea what she was talking about. "You do realize that you just told me that if I did not like the way you did things, that I did not have to stay", she explained as she fought back the tears.

"Did I really say that?" Jack asked. Lisa nodded. He didn't like to think that he had said that, or that it had even sounded like it to her, but this much he knew: he needed to fix it and fix it fast. "I did not mean to imply anything like that. - It's just... You know how I am; it's hard for me to adjust to new situations", Jack said as he tried to explain himself.

"Jack, we've been married for over a year now", Lisa pointed out. "How long will it take for you to really to see me as family? You said last night I was your family, but right now I don't feel like it. The way you said that I could just go and be myself anywhere else than here–"

 _Oh, so that was it,_ Jack thought to himself.

"–makes me feel like everything else is for me, but not Heartland. Like it's not a home for us, where we live together, where we create the rules together. That it's a place where you have complete autonomy and you don't give a tinker's damn what anyone else thinks. You won't even listen to anyone who does not agree with your rules, let alone someone who might suggest that maybe they could be changed", Lisa finished. "Maybe we had different ideas about what a marriage is, but when you proposed me, I thought everything that was mine was about to be yours, and what was yours was about to be mine. Not because we'd care about the wealth, no, but because it would be the unselfish act of love to prove that none of the material matters more than what we matter to each other."

"That's how I want you to feel", Jack humbled agreed with Lisa's last statement, "but I see now that is not how I've made you feel, and for that I am sorry. Heartland's your home too, it's how I've always wanted it to be."

But the next thing was harder for him to admit.

"However… it is hard for me to let people, as I see it, take advantage of me. Because I feel like they don't respect me then and if I lose the respect, what do I have left? I'm an old man, I don't have anything else going for me other than that."

"Well, you're wrong about that", Lisa said, as she began to walk towards Jack, "it's not something you're about to lose, ever, because you are Jack Bartlett after all, but you're going at it the wrong way. You don't want them to respect you because they fear you. You want them to respect you because of how much they love you."

Jack looked Lisa in the eyes, and the way she seemed more gentle now made him feel better. He nodded, taking in Lisa's words of wisdom, as he reflected on the things that had just happened.

"You're right. You're absolutely right", Jack admitted. "Will you forgive this old man for being such an ass? I didn't want to hurt you."

"I will", Lisa promised, giving him a kiss. "As long as you promise not to do that to me again."

"I promise you that", replied Jack as pulled Lisa closer in an embrace to kiss her again.

As Jack leaned back, his arms still around Lisa, he could see Georgie striding toward the barn, pass the garden. She had come out from the living room side door and was holding a box of cereal and bananas.

"Georgie!" Jack yelled at her, making Lisa turn around as she saw his eyes were set on something behind her. When Georgie heard his voice, she started running, like she had been caught red-handed.

Lisa cupped his face in her hands, directing his glance to her, trying to calm Jack down by looking him in the eyes and saying: "Prove it to me that you meant what you just said about the rule thing…"

And that was when Jack decided to let it go.

Well, at least the kid was eating, on her own terms, removing the reason for the argument in the first place.


	39. Chapter 39

When she had finished her breakfast, Peter reached out and picked the tray off Lou's lap. "Why don't you get freshened up while I take care of this. Looks like you did not get a chance last night", he said as he stood up to leave the room.

"A gentleman would not have noticed that - or at least not said anything about it", replied Lou, not actually offended, but also not being able to resist the teasing.

"Wasn't aware there was a gentleman in the room", replied Peter with a grin, ducking Lou's attempted punch at him as he left the room.

Lou got up, admitting that she had enjoyed the banter as well; it sure beat the tension that was usually there when they talked.

After her shower and a kiss on Katie's forehead, Lou stepped out while Peter had promised to stay inside with their daughter. Lou needed to talk with Amy, and ask her if she had Olivia's mother's phone number, seeing how Mrs. Wheaton had been a former client of hers. Out in the jumping ring, Georgie was exercising Phoenix, and Lou couldn't help but feel drawn to her daughter, with whom she had barely talked to since the accident.

She could tell that Georgie had noticed her approaching out of the corner of her eye as her body stiffened in the saddle, immediately letting Phoenix know that something was wrong. Despite Georgie trying her best to concentrate on the jumps, it was Phoenix who sensed the change in the air and he began having problems with the course.

As another pole hit the ground, Lou looked at Georgie sympathetically as she rounded up and looked how many mistakes she had made.

"You were doing well", she said when she noticed Georgie's flustered look.

Georgie held her tongue and tried not to say something she might end up regretting, something that might also increase the length or the severity of her grounding. She really didn't want to lose her access to the horses nor the length of time she was cut off from her phone and computer. "Something you want?" she asked in a controlled voice.

"No, I was just thinking I could come and watch. And maybe later we could talk, when you're done", Lou replied. Georgie sensed her mother was trying to be nice, but only because she had some kind of agenda that probably had something to do with the counseling Peter had brought up yesterday.

Georgie wondered if this was a change to her parent's usual routine; Peter had the role of the bad cop while Lou was the good cop this time.

"I'm kind of busy", Georgie replied as she tried to avoid anymore conversation, whatever the reason.

"Busy doing what? You're not going to school, which is one of the things we need to talk about", Lou instantly said back, a bit more like the Lou Georgie had come to expect.

 _Well, maybe she not such a good cop after all,_ Georgie figured.

"I'll call Adam. Ask him if he can tutor you. Just because you're not going to school, doesn't mean you should get behind."

Georgie knew her situation - to be done with school - had been too good to be true, because of course Lou "The Planner" Fleming had everything figured out. Usually, Georgie wouldn't have minded Adam coming over that much because - without wanting to admit it to him out loud - he did actually make her understand things better than any teacher ever could. But she was pissed as it was, and if he was going to give her hard time about Olivia too, then it was not going to work.

"Whatever", Georgie murmured and figured she was going to have to do the bare minimum she had to do so she could keep the horses around.

"Okay. I'll talk to you later", Lou said, but it wasn't a suggestion, or a request to Georgie's ears, but a statement telling her what she was going to do. Lou began walking toward the barn, glancing over her shoulder few times as she watched Georgie getting down from the saddle so she could pick up the poles Phoenix had just dropped.

Just as she was about to enter the barn, Ty walked out, carrying his vet kit. Even though he was only passing by, Lou could smell a fresh paint on him. He seemed like he was in a hurry and had a tense expression on his face when Lou took a double take and said to him:

"Hey, Ty. Leaving for work?" Lou inquired as she passed him.

"Yeah", Ty said, instantly lighting up a little bit, as he gave Lou an answer, only to go back to the more somber look he had had seconds before soon. Then he nodded and said: "See ya later."

"See ya", Lou replied, as she continued walking to the barn, wondering what had made Ty so serious. She saw Amy feeding the horses and firing stern glances after her husband as he threw his kit into his truck and then got in. Ty drove away not as much as even glancing back her way.

"Morning", Lou said.

"Morning", Amy mumbled, distracted at the man that had walked out just seconds ago. She then realized who she was talking to. "How are you feeling?" It was like her mind had been somewhere else entirely, but as soon as she saw Ty drive away she became focused on her sister and returned in the role of a concerned sister.

"I'm fine. So much better after a good night's sleep", Lou said, still feeling relieved she had slept like baby. It made everything so much easier to handle. "Everything alright with you? And Ty?"

At first it looked like Amy wasn't in the mood to talk about it, but then she decided she couldn't keep it inside as it was weighing her down and had put an early end to her work with Merlin.

"We sort of had a fight", Amy admitted.

"Oh?" Lou asked carefully, not wanting to seem like she was prying.

"I guess I don't know how to be a wife", Amy said cryptically, making Lou furrow her brow at her statement. "Any tips?"

"You're asking advice from a woman who's separated and in the middle of getting a divorce. Trust me, you don't want my advice", Lou noted, but she was still a bit curious to know if she could help somehow, especially since Amy had been such a big help to her through all of this. "What did you fight about?"

"Well... Ty's mad at me for not minding my own business", Amy replied as she tried to sum it up. "I've been so worried about you guys that it's making me stressed."

"Amy, you don't have to worry about us." Lou realized she had accidentally made her sister's life worse and didn't want it to continue like that. "We're okay, we're working on it."

"That's what he said..." Amy replied, already realizing he was right. But that didn't mean Amy had a solution of how to work on her own feelings about it. "I guess something Ty said kind of made me think about myself and my life."

"What was it?"

"Well, he said that I'm looking for something to worry about when there's nothing that I should be worrying about", Amy replied, sighing. "And I think... he might be right. I mean, can you blame me? Something to worry about is all I've ever known. My life's always been a mess and now that it's not, now that I'm actually where I've wanted to be for years and everything's going so great, I'm out of my element."

"But... that's a good thing, right? I mean, what I would give to not having something to stress about", Lou sighed dreamily, wanting to show that Amy shouldn't take it for granted. "Stop worrying about us and enjoy what you've finally accomplished", she continued, shaking Amy gently by the shoulders.

It made the younger sister smile little bit. "Easier said than done..."

"Well, you should work on that. And talk to Ty. That is the best advice I can give to you as soon-to-be divorced woman, and I really wish you wouldn't even have to think about them, but if you aren't aware, you just might slip toward the road I've unfortunately traveled", she said. "Don't let things come between you two. Fight the fights out, don't let them pile up, or eventually you will be a married single not able to relate to the man you are married to. Communicate, don't try to force each other to be something you're not. Respect each other - and most importantly love one another for who and the way you are. Neither of you are perfect, but that doesn't mean you're not worthy of love. If anything, it means you need each other even more. If you've been lucky to find a person who loves you so much that they've chosen they want to spend the rest of their lives with you, you hold onto that", Lou spoke in a longing voice, starting to feel bittersweet again for having to let go of that herself. "I wish I was where you are now, where I still had the chance to make it all okay. So don't follow my example. Solve the problems before they get any bigger."

"Well... it's not too late for you and Peter", Amy said. "I mean, maybe it didn't work out the way you hoped it would, but at least you can still be civil about it. You don't have to make this ugly."

Lou nodded, agreeing with her sister.

"Yeah, I've kind of realized that myself too. And I don't mean to make this hard. I think we're both working on that. If things have to end this way, then at least we can make a clean break, something to make it easy for us and the girls."

Hearing those words from Lou and seeing her a little bit more revitalized made Amy realize she didn't have anything to worry about. Her sister was a warrior woman, just like their mother had been, and she wanted to be just like them - even though hopefully her own story wouldn't end up like theirs.

"Thank you, Lou", Amy said, pulling her sister into a hug.

"No... Thank you, Amy. Thank you for taking care of me. We're all gonna be okay, I promise."

Amy closed her eyes and squeezed her sister, making a conscious decision not to look for more things to worry about when she finally had her own life together.

She deserved to be happy and right now it was her choice to be just it.

"So, did you just come out here to cheer me up or did you have something else in mind...?" Amy asked after the hug.

Lou looked at Amy and smiled. "No. To tell the truth, you and your problems were the last thing on my mind. - I need to know if you have Mrs. Wheaton's number. You know, Olivia Wheaton's mother. I have to get hold of her."

"I think so. Should be in the office", said Amy. "Come on, I'll find it for ya."


	40. Chapter 40

When Lou got back inside the house with Mrs. Wheaton's number, she found Peter, Katie and Remi having a tea party in the girl's room. She felt bad for interrupting, knowing just how much Peter wanted to be part of moments like this - not to mention he looked so cute in his tiara and drinking out of the tiny cups - but she knew they had to fix things for Georgie too as they had neglected her too long already.

"Knock, knock. Do I have a permission to enter your kingdom, Princess Katie?" Lou asked.

Katie looked at the door, as if deciding and then nodded.

"You may come in."

Lou smiled when her daughter sounded so noble and so much older than she was, but she already knew Katie was quick to pick up words and sayings from the cartoons and movies she watched and then use them in the plays she often put on the whole family.

"I brought King Peter an important number he requested", Lou continued joining in the play as she handed Mrs. Wheaton's number on a paper to him.

Peter smiled and accepted it, thanking her as she stepped back and curtsied. "You are welcome, your Majesty."

"You have lost your crown, Queen Lou!" Katie said as she noticed her mother's bare head. "I will get you an new one", she said as she worried and hurried to get it from her toy chest. Meanwhile Lou came to the table and knelt down to have tea with them. "Don't worry, I'll find it!" Katie assured them as she continued, going through the things buried in her chest.

"Thanks for this. I think I'm going to call her right away and suggest we have a meeting as soon as possible. Are you free today?" Peter asked in a soft voice, now that they had a little while to talk in private. Well, as long as they kept it quiet enough that Katie did not hear them talking above the noise off her rummaging through her toy chest, that was.

"Yeah, I guess". Lou quickly shook her head. "I'm sorry - what I mean by saying "I guess" is that there is nothing more important than Georgie. I can't even think about going anywhere till we get this resolved. I will call Mara, tell her I'm not coming to Maggie's today. I guess she kind of expected me not to be there anyway, but I will call her just to make sure", Lou explained.

There was a knock on the frame of the door, and as they turned their heads toward the doorway, they saw Jack and Lisa standing in the doorway.

"Just to let you know; we are heading to town. Do you guys need anything?" Lisa asked. Jack was behind her, watching his great-grand-daughter adjust the crown she had found on Lou's head with great determination.

Lou exchanged glances with Peter, but as he shrugged, she turned back to her grandfather and his wife. "No. I think we're good."

"And just so you know, we'll be taking a trail ride after we come back, so we'll be gone till about supper time", Jack saw fit to add as he knew that Lou and Peter could be in need of help, as they were trying to deal the situation with Georgie as well. " We thought that maybe it would be good for you to have the place to yourselves in case you want to talk with Georgie in private."

"Uh, yeah, maybe", Lou replied, wondering who was going to help them look after Katie if they had to run their errands.

But then again, Jack and Lisa had done more than their share these last few days, so maybe it was good that they took some time away for themselves, as they deserved to have some time away from this craziness.

"Okay then. You sure you'll be okay?" Lisa asked, making sure that Lou and Peter did not need their help before they left for the day.

"We'll be fine", Peter answered. "Thanks for everything you've done for us. You deserve a little time for yourselves", he replied in words that echoed Lou's thoughts.

"It's no bother. So you're absolutely sure you will not need us?" Jack inquired one last time.

"Yes. Go!" Lou insisted, smiling.

"Okay then. - See you later, Katie", he said.

"Bye, GG!" Katie said as she took her place at the tea party again.

As the old couple left the house, Lou looked at Peter, wondering what they were going to do with Katie. The doctors had reminded them not to put too much pressure on the girl, but knowing the Wheatons and just how ugly they could get - well, Mrs. Wheaton anyway - Lou wasn't going to risk that it would not end up being confrontational and upsetting to Katie, so she felt that she could not take Katie with them to the meeting.

* * *

"But, Lou, I'm working", Amy said as she was cleaning out the stall and changing the bedding. Lou stood in the aisle of the barn, her fingers intertwined as if she was begging her sister for help.

"I know, and I wouldn't ask you if there was any other choice", Lou said, knowing working with horses and looking after a five-year-old wasn't an ideal combination, but she didn't know who else to ask.

"What about Georgie? She's home - and grounded on top of that. Looks like she has the time", Amy replied. She knew Georgie was good with Katie, even though she knew Lou was concerned about her attitude problem. But that wasn't her concern, it was up to Lou and Peter to decide if Georgie was up to babysitting.

"We are taking Georgie with us, hoping we'll able to hear every point of view so we can clean up this mess", Lou explained.

Amy sighed.

"In any other situation, I'd love to help, but right now I'm kind of swamped. Caleb's looking after dad's rodeo school while he's away with Casey and Grandpa just left for town with Lisa, so I'm short on help", she tried to explain the situation to Lou. "I just want to look after Katie in the best way that I can and I don't know if I can do that right now. I feel like my concern for her well-being is valid because..." she spoke, but stopped, wondering if she should even say anything.

"Because...?"

"Never-mind. - I would look after her if I could, Lou, you know that."

"No, tell me; what were you about to say?" Lou insisted.

Amy looked Lou into eyes but she knew that look, and no matter how long she stared at her sister, there was no way she was going to cause her to wait for the answer she had demanded. So, Amy decided she had better just tell her.

"What if what happened would happen again? You were distracted while cleaning the Quonset hut, and now I'm distracted, and I'm supposed to be looking after Katie? I just don't want a repeat of that..."

Lou had not thought about it that way and it made her wonder if she had even learned anything from the incident, despite thinking that she had.

"Oh..." Lou voiced.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring it up again, but I needed you to understand my concern. I have to look after the horses, I promised my clients I would, it's my responsibility and I take it very seriously", Amy wanted to explain a bit further.

"No, no, I get it", Lou assured. She was a business woman too, so even if their fields were different, she could completely understand where Amy was coming from. "Thanks anyway. You take care of the ranch while we're gone. It's an important job."

"Thanks for understanding, Lou. I feel bad-"

"No, no, no. Don't feel bad", Lou stopped her. "I shouldn't have to force you when you have other obligations. I get it. I'll see you when we get back, okay?" Lou said as she turned and walked out of the barn.

She was visibly upset, but not because Amy had turned her down, but for what she had pointed out to be the flaw in the way she acted. She realized she was so impulsive she never seemed to think things through even though she took great pride in being thorough in everything she did.

"What did she say?" Peter asked when Lou walked up to the porch where he was standing with Katie and Remi. Lou stopped in front of the stairs and glanced up at them.

"She's too busy. I think I'm going to call Vanessa", Lou told him as she took her phone out of her pocket.

"Vanessa...? Who is she again?" Peter asked. He felt bad for not being in the loop, but as he was hardly here, he had hard time following who Lou was hanging out with and how they were associated.

"She's Abraham's mom, you know, Katie's friend from kindergarten. We've been sort of hanging out every now and then. We have this support thing with one another", Lou told him.

"Oh, you mean like a mother thing?" Peter asked, knowing Lou had made some connections through her blog and book about motherhood. Motherhood overall was very important to her, he knew she wanted to be the best at it. Even if he had thought her mom blogging to be a bit weird at first because he didn't understand why anyone would be interested in their family, he now realized just how much it meant to Lou. He wanted to acknowledge it and show Lou that he got it now and it was okay for her to gush about it if she wanted.

"Well, kind of. Mostly we've been bonding over for being single parents and the challenges we face. She and her husband are going through a divorce too", Lou explained.

 _Going through a divorce too._ The sentence echoed in Peter's head as he looked at her.

The look on his face changed. He stood there, his mouth partly open as if he wanted to say something, but nothing came out. It was as if he had only now realized this was where they were too. Technically, they had not talked about a divorce - yet? - they were just seeing through the separation, or so he thought, and where their relationship was going, but maybe Lou was already leaning toward it being the right thing to do. Peter still wasn't sure what he wanted to do and he had taken comfort in this weird state of separation where they didn't have to make those choices, but where they could live their lives separately while still sharing something and being bound together.

He knew they had had that fight over his missing wedding band at the hospital, but back then it had seemed like Lou was still rooting for them to get back together while she had thought him to be ready to move on. But now, he noticed, she wasn't wearing her rings anymore either, so maybe something had shifted in her because of something he had done - or was it his missing ring that had changed her mind.

"Oh... Well, I suppose that helps", Peter replied. He himself had not talked about his personal situation to anyone, as he really only had his colleagues in Vancouver for daily support, and he preferred to keep his private matters separated from that circle of people.

Besides, he had figured he could handle it all by himself and there wasn't really anyone could do for him at this point, so what was the use of even bringing this stuff up.

"Yeah. She's been great, we've been able to talk about a lot of things. It's good to know someone gets you", Lou added.

This made Peter feel even worse. He had to admit he was curious to know what Lou and her friend were talking about exactly and where was Lou mentally with everything. Somewhere along the way he had stopped being the person Lou had talked to about things with and other people had replaced him, be it Caleb or now this Vanessa.

But that was probably why they were in this situation to begin with; they had thought to be everything for each other when they had gotten married, only to discover that it wasn't easy to be everything for each other when you were provinces or even worlds apart.

As hard as it was, if Lou really wanted to get a divorce, Peter realized this was yet another thing he had to give up. He could no longer expect Lou to tell him everything about her life because they were no longer one in marriage but two separate and different people who, while they shared their love of the girls, now had very little else in common. That information would not have the same impact in his life that it once had.

And that realization really made Peter sad and wonder if he wanted to let Lou go after all. Something about her seemed to create a calm in his life when other parts of his life were making his head spin.

"I'll be inside. I'll call Dr. Virani too to see if she knows someone who might be able to help Georgie with the counseling", Lou told Peter before she walked through the door into the house. Peter stayed with Katie and wondered if this phase of his what-would-be a second divorce felt different than it had felt with Eden, because in a lot of ways he had a feeling it did. He had always figured maybe it was harder to let Lou go because they had children together, but maybe that was not it after all.

Maybe it was because he had not been in love with Eden when they had decided to get divorced, while he was still in love with Lou.


	41. Chapter 41

Amy was returning from behind the barn with a wheelbarrow, when Georgie came into the barn walking Trouble back to his stall. The young girl looked as apathetic as the day before, and though Amy had avoided the subject of her grounding and the situation with Olivia earlier, she decided that she did not want to do that today.

Especially not after what Georgie had said before she had stormed off and left Amy speechless, making her wonder if she and Ty were the root of Merlin's problem and were going to be horrible parents in the future.

"Hey", Amy said trying to catch Georgie's attention. "I was wondering if we could talk about yesterday."

"Why?" Georgie asked as she took Trouble's halter off.

"Because of what you said", Amy replied, wanting to get to the bottom of it right away without Georgie interrupting and making her doubt herself even more.

She had dealt with some of that doubt already when she had her talk with Lou, and later she would hopefully be able to take care of what Ty and her had talked about when Ty would come home from work and they would talk things through too. But Amy didn't want anything messing with her head before that, so she could be confident enough to do her work and more importantly talk to her husband about the argument they had had that morning, which is why she needed to know what Georgie had meant yesterday when she had said what she did. Without knowing that and working through it with her, it would continue to add doubt into what was already a complicated situation.

"I don't know if Ty and I are the reason for Merlin's problem, but it's not important, because I'm going to help him get better no matter what. Yes, we were like Merlin's parents years ago and some day we are going to have kids of our own, but by that time it's going to be different. I'm sure we'll make mistakes even then, like we did with Merlin, but we will try our best not to," said Amy as she tried to convey to Georgie some of the confidence she had gotten from her talk with Lou earlier.

She then continued. "I don't think you realize what you said to me yesterday did to my self-confidence. I sure hope you didn't do that on purpose and I wish you would think before you speak from now on, so you wouldn't make me feel bad about myself - or Ty - especially when you weren't there and you didn't know what happened. I don't know if I'm the reason for the way Merlin behaves, but I'm not going to feel sorry for myself about it, because eventually… there's no point in it. Instead, I'm going to focus my energy into helping Merlin and try to keep myself educated about what to do and what to not do with horses. Every day and every horse is a lesson of its own."

"Great", Georgie said, but the tone of her voice didn't support her "enthusiasm", but rather it was a response to make Amy feel she had listened and cared when she hadn't all. She stepped out of the stall and put the halter on a hook.

Amy studied her carefully. It felt like Georgie wasn't in the mood to talk, but as a family member, she couldn't just ignore it if there was even a slight chance she could find out more about what was going on with her. Because for some reason, Amy didn't think that it was all because of what had happened in the school.

"Georgie," said Amy again trying to regain her attention before she left the barn. "Is there a reason why you thought we could be the problem…?" Amy inquired. She was talking more softly now, hoping it would help Georgie open up a bit more as she knew that being calm would take away the threatening undertone of a conversation. "Is it because of what's going on with Lou and Peter? – I know it must be hard to go through that. I know it was hard for me when my parents got divorced. I was younger then, but… it was very confusing. One minute dad was there, then he was not." She thought adding a personal touch would help Georgie open up.

Georgie was listening, but that was all she was bringing into the situation. But Amy wasn't going to let it go, especially if for some reason whatever she was saying was getting through to Georgie, then it was important. Maybe Georgie didn't feel like talking now, but maybe letting her know that there were people out there who could understand some of her pain would help and eventually it would all pay off.

"I was only five when that happened, but now, looking back as someone who's much older, I realize mom and dad didn't handle the divorce very well. Sometimes I feel like they didn't think about me or Lou at all. I was really angry at them for splitting up and being so difficult at times. But I understand now they had their reasons", Amy said expressing her feelings. "It might be hard to accept, but no matter what… I promise you Lou and Peter love you very much. This is as new and hurtful to them as it is to you, I am sure, and they are not sure of what they are doing, but I'm sure they are trying their best", Amy said as she tried to show Georgie this was at least part of the reason that the divorce was affecting more than just her.

"It's nothing new to me", Georgie stated. She kept her eyes down and her body half turned away from Amy, her body language saying that she wanted nothing to do with this or any line of conversation.

Something about it made Amy feel even more strongly that there was something in the past that was weighing Georgie down. But what it was, it was hard to say.

"How were your foster families? I know you kept going from one family to another… Is it because the parents got divorced or–" Amy asked carefully.

Georgie suddenly shot an angry stare at her.

"What does it matter? It's like you just said, it's in the past. I rather leave it there", she hissed before she turned away and stormed out of the barn.

Amy looked after her. While she didn't know what exactly it was that was troubling Georgie, she knew she had hit some kind of nerve to get a reaction like that out of her. Amy wondered if Lou knew something more about it, seeing she was Georgie's mother and had probably been through her files when she had adopted her. There had to be some kind of records of her background, though she was beginning to realize that records did not always tell the full story.

* * *

Peter saw Georgie storming out of the barn not too long after she had taken Trouble in. His eyes followed her to see where she was going. Though by her wondering first this way and then that way, it looked like even she didn't know. What he could see however was that she was in escape mode and the where did not really matter. It seemed like she just had to go somewhere, but the hesitation in her movements told him she was a girl who didn't feel safe at anywhere. Peter decided he would try to offer her that place.

"Georgie. Can you come here, please?" he hollered and caught her attention. The girl looked toward him, then narrowing her eyes as she tried to see what was happening on the porch from across the yard. Her shoulders tensed and she tilted her head down looking at Peter through her upper eyes. A stern look overtook her face as she knew she had to answer him but she was not in the mood to talk to anyone at the moment. Pursing her lips together, she turned and walked towards Peter as he stood there on the porch. The look and body language told him she was ready for whatever he might say to her, but the listening would be on her terms.

When Georgie was in the hearing range of a normal voice, she scoffed: "What?"

"Well, good morning to you too, Little Miss Sunshine", Peter said, with a smile, kind of put off by her attitude, yet realizing that he had to get through to her, so this was no time to get heavy-handed with her. He glanced at Katie, but when it seemed like the younger girl was happy and busy playing with her toys and Remi, Peter felt better about focusing on Georgie for a minute. "What's going on?"

"Still grounded, still crazy, I guess", Georgie said, crossing her arms across her chest.

"Don't do that, please?" said Peter in a soft voice. "I don't wanna fight with you. Can't we just talk about things?" Peter requested. "I don't think you're crazy, and neither does Lou. We are just trying to help you."

Georgie wasn't convinced. She tapped her feet to the porch restlessly and looked down. "Yeah, right… Why would you want to spend money to send me to a shrink if I'm okay?"

"Why don't you sit down, and I'm going to tell you something", Peter suggested, tapping the space next to him. Georgie sat down, sighing, but kept her eyes locked elsewhere. "I promised Lou that we would be talking about the counselling thing together and we will–" he started and could hear Georgie's heaving sigh from the mention of the word, "listen… listen, please", he pleaded with her, feeling what he was about to share with her was something that she needed to know.

Finally Georgie turned her head toward him, but the look on her face was not amused. Yet she was at least showing Peter that she was paying attention.

"Just listen to me, please", Peter said again. "Lou and I are not going to force you to do counseling and we sure don't think you're crazy. But this isn't about that now or even about you. I would just like to share something with you, person to person. I'm not your father now and you're not my daughter. We are just two people, talking. Do you think we can do that?" Peter asked.

"I guess", Georgie said, shrugging.

"Okay, well... there's something I would like to tell you about myself. Not because I expect a reaction from you, but because it's a big part of me and I've been ashamed to talk about it. But I've come to realize that I shouldn't be ashamed, because that's exactly part of the problem. I have sides of me that I don't like, but it does no good for me to cover them up. It'll only make it worse", Peter began. "So… you remember when I told you about the carrots up in the nose? Well, I told you that the anger management I had when I was a little, and while that is true, it's not something I left in the past."

Georgie loosened up a little when she noticed that she wasn't in the lime light right now and she didn't have to keep her guard up.

"There have been times when I've let the anger get the best of me, and it's not until later that I realize what I've done and I've come to regret those decisions that were made purely based on an impulse. And it's an awful feeling, when you realize you're not in control, that you're not who you think you are. It was hard for me to admit, but eventually I realized I needed someone to help me with it. Not to just stop my fist from hitting something or someone, but with the thoughts that I had", Peter continued. "Which is exactly what I did."

"Is this you trying to make counselling look good...?" Georgie had to ask.

"Well, not really, but I hope that you might see it as different when I am through, but right now I'm just telling my story. It's not all that black and white. Sometimes it works for some people, sometimes it doesn't", he shrugged. "When I made that phone call and booked my very first appointment few years ago, my stomach was in knots. And when I sat there and the person before me was asking questions, I felt sick. It wasn't a good feeling and I honestly felt like leaving because I was so uncomfortable, but instead I stayed. It was hard to get any words out or construct any thoughts about how I was feeling because I wasn't really even aware what even happened when I became angry. It was like this… void. But little by little, I began to get it. I remember the feeling when I was frustrated, and someone said something insensitive, and I couldn't find words to express my anger, so I felt like getting physical, but instead of doing that, I stepped back, took a breath, acknowledged what was happening and was able to calm myself down. It felt so good, I was so proud of myself", Peter explained. "It was then I realized that what other people say… it doesn't control me or my emotional reaction, I'm the one in control."

Georgie looked elsewhere, thinking back on what Peter had told her.

"I've always felt like the natural way to respond to anger is aggression. Because, you know, it's like you're under attack, so of course you fight or defend yourself from the attack or you flee, and I am not going to run away from a problem, nor would you. That makes sense, right?" Peter checked and he received a little nod from Georgie. "So, in a way it's necessary to confront it, but it's all about how I go about doing that. I've learned to understand more clearly what my needs are and I've had to learn how to satisfy them without hurting others. And by doing that, I am learning how to be respectful when dealing with situations that normally would have ended in violence of one kind or the other."

Georgie began to wonder. "But what if the other person just keeps going…? What do you do then?"

"You suppress it and convert it into something more useful", Peter replied. Georgie couldn't help but think what Amy had said in the barn about her own feelings toward Merlin's mysterious behavior problem. "Sometimes knowing when to stop is a win, too. You may not get the last word, but in most cases… it usually doesn't even matter. You can end the fight other ways too and it doesn't have to involve any violence, verbal or physical."

What they didn't know was that Lou was standing in the mudroom, secretly listening to them talk. She had been on her way out, but had stopped when she had heard Peter talking to someone. Something about the tone of his voice had let her know this was something pretty intimate and he should not be disturbed.

Lou decided to wait until Peter and Georgie had finished their talk before she came out.

"So, no, I don't think you're crazy", Peter said, wanting to put Georgie's doubts to rest one more time. "Anger is completely normal human emotion. Feeling that only makes you human, sometimes we just need someone to understand what it's like to be a human", he continued, wrapping his arm around Georgie. The girl didn't resist when he pulled her closer to his side and kissed the top of her head.

Inside, Lou was hoping that this talk would be useful when they met with the Wheatons, because that was exactly what they were going to do in 30 minutes…


	42. Chapter 42

When it had been quiet on the porch for a little while, Lou made an attempt to make loud stomping noises coming from the kitchen all the way to the door, so Peter and Georgie would know she was approaching. It was all theatrical, but in this case it worked. When she peeked out, Georgie and Peter were both acting as if nothing had happened.

"Hey", she said as she stepped out. Lou tried her best to act as if she had not heard what they had just talked about, instead she waved her cell phone in the air to bring all the attention to it. "Just spoke to Vanessa, she'd be happy to look after Katie."

"Great. I guess we better get going then", Peter said. "Katie, come on, honey. You are going to go and play with your friend Abraham." He flexed his fingers to call Katie to his side from the grass so they could get her changed out of the princess dress and get themselves ready to go.

"What about Remi? Can she come too?" Katie wanted to know. The dog heard her name mentioned and her ears picked up.

"Not this time", Peter replied. "She'll have to stay here and look after the ranch with Auntie Amy."

"Okay", Katie accepted the response and hopped onto Peter's arms.

Georgie started getting restless again. For few minutes things had been calm and she had felt connected to her family again, but now there were too many unknowns for her to keep calm. "Wait, where are you going...?"

"Peter called Mrs. Wheaton and he arranged a meeting. We are all going to go and meet her and Olivia after we drop Katie off at Vanessa's, and hopefully we can settle this whole thing once and for all so that all of us can move on", Lou told her.

"You can't be serious..." Georgie exclaimed as she slipped back into her defensive mode. "There's no way I'm going there. How many more ways to punish me can you come up with? Clearly I underestimated you..."

"Georgie, honey", Peter tried to connect with her again. "This is for your own good. Wouldn't it be great if you didn't have to worry about what Olivia says anymore? Remember what I said about you being in control of your feelings. I believe you can do it, I've seen you do it before. Olivia's actions don't have to make any difference in your life, if you don't let them. - Besides, we'll be there with you. I'm willing to bet she's not going to get nasty when we are there. And if she does, then... we'll handle it - together."

Lou watched as Peter talked and when he was finished, she continued.

"Also, if you co-operate, you may gain back some of your privileges", Lou said, figuring throwing some kind of carrot could humble Georgie up.

"Fine..." Georgie huffed. If going meant that she could have her life back and she would not lose her access to horses, then so be it. In some twisted way she half wanted Olivia to be nasty so she would have more proof to back up her claims about Olivia being nothing but a bully.

* * *

"Bye, Mommy! Bye, Daddy! Bye, Georgie!" Katie waved her goodbyes from the front steps of Vanessa's house. Peter and Lou were standing on the pavement, looking and waving right back at her. Georgie on the other hand was in the car, sulking like she had rain clouds above her head. Not even Katie's sweet attempt to say goodbye was able to bring her back from her world of angst.

"We'll be right back, honey, I promise", Lou said, wondering if it had ever been this hard to leave Katie. It wasn't as if she didn't trust Vanessa - she wouldn't have left Katie with her if she didn't - but it was the recent accident that was making her see all kinds of dangers in everything a child would normally do while being at a daycare - or as she thought about it - at home even; choking on a small toy, falling from a chair, running with scissors - the list was endless. "Just be careful, okay?"

"I will!" Katie said. She kept waving even though her hand was beginning to get tired from all the flapping.

Before going, Lou had to make sure Vanessa understood what she had agreed to. "I know I already told you, but just to make sure, you have to be extra careful with her right now, she's on-"

"Blood-thinners", Vanessa repeated what Lou had told her just few minutes before. "I'm a nurse, Lou, so I know what it means. You don't have to worry about a thing", she said in a calm tone. She smiled warmly, trying her best to assure the worrying parents - well mostly, Lou - that she had complete confidence in her ability to look after the children.

"Okay, sorry..." Lou realized she was freaking out again, but leaving was twice as hard right now. "And you have our numbers? Me and Peter's? Did you check they went into your contacts?" she checked with Vanessa one more time to make sure.

"I checked", Vanessa replied. "We have had each others numbers for a while now, Lou, and I ensure you that I have added Peter's as well. Now, aren't you gonna be late for this appointment of yours?" she replied with a smile. Even though Lou's worrying might have annoyed someone else, Vanessa realized this was just who Lou was. She worried about Katie from the goodness of her heart, so Vanessa herself didn't feel like she could be irritated by that. After all, as a mother she could understand it completely and the fact that she was also a nurse gave her an idea what the last few days must have been like for Lou and why she was having a hard time leaving Katie with her. "We are going to have a blast, aren't we, Katie?"

"Yeah! - Can I go and play with Abraham now?" the girl looked up checking with Vanessa.

"Just a minute. We'll make sure your parents get to their car and then we can go inside", Vanessa said to her. She figured Lou probably felt better when she was the one going and not the other way around.

"Thanks again", Peter decided to voice his gratitude to this woman whom he had just met but had heard so much about. Vanessa smiled at him too, and because of what Lou had said back at the porch about Vanessa being her confidante, Peter was wondering if her reaction to him was sincere. He didn't know if he was a douche-bag in Vanessa's eyes, because surely Lou had told few stories about how hard it was being home alone while he was working in Vancouver - and who knows what else.

"It's no problem. I was going to be at home today anyway and I'm sure Abraham's happy to have someone to play with", Vanessa mentioned one more time. "You two take care of whatever needs taking care of. When you're through with that, we'll be here."

"I owe you - big time", Lou said. She was lucky to have a friend like Vanessa.

"Maybe I can bring Abraham to your farm sometime? I'm sure he'd love to see the animals", Vanessa suggested. Living in a rental apartment after she had settled with getting custody of Abraham while her husband had gotten the house in the divorce, they weren't allowed to have any pets of their own even though he loved animals.

To Lou it sounded like a perfect way to give back. "Sounds great. We should do that."

"Lou, we need to go. The Wheatons are expecting us soon", Peter whispered to her as he touched her arm. "You can catch up when we come back, if you want."

"Yeah, okay", she replied, then turning back to Katie. "Okay. See you. - Bye, honey!" She kissed her hands and sent Katie kisses through the air.

"Mommy, just go", Katie was getting tired of waving and as if to magnify the point, she supported her hand with the other one. "I can't keep waving much longer. My hand is going to fall down..."

It made everyone laugh and released some of the tension.

"See you soon", Peter said before they returned to the to the car. He was silently pleased Lou was the one driving because she would not have any other choice than to focus on driving and the traffic, making the worry of leaving Katie with Vanessa take a backseat to the job at hand. Hopefully, by the time they got to the Wheatons, Lou would be in a much better place mentally.

Peter wasn't angry at Lou for worrying, it was understandable, but sometimes her nervousness was contagious and the last thing they needed right now was one more thing to make them nervous.


	43. Chapter 43

"So... that was Vanessa", Peter said to Lou, trying to start a conversation on their way to the Wheaton's. Lou had been lost in thought ever since they had dropped off Katie, and Peter thought he knew exactly what she was thinking. Instead of adding to her worry over Katie, Peter decided to steer the conversation toward something more pleasant, like Lou's trusted friend.

And if he was telling the truth, he didn't completely do it for selfless reasons; he also wanted to know more about this Vanessa, especially if she was going to be around their daughter in the future too.

"Yeah. Pretty great, huh?" Lou stated as she took the bait and began taking part in the conversation. She glanced at Peter, but quickly brought her eyes back to the road as she was driving and they were about go through an intersection.

"Yeah. Sure seemed like it", Peter agreed, nodding. "We lucked out, her being a nurse and all. I mean, what better place for Katie to be right now if she can't be with us. And she gets to play with her friend, I think that's good. That's taking things back to normal."

"Good point", Lou replied, trying to focus on the conversation. Even though she still couldn't stop worrying completely, it seemed to help a little. She knew that even though she wanted to be there for Georgie, there was a part of her that was with Katie and would be restless until they were united again.

"How is it going back there?" Peter asked when the conversation with Lou had slowed. He checked over his shoulder, looking at his daughter. Georgie had been quiet throughout the whole drive, which was unusual for her. Usually she either talked about things that had happened in school or with the horses or sang along to the radio.

But not this time.

"I still can't believe we are actually going to go and see Olivia!" Georgie huffed. She glared at Peter, looking as stubborn as ever, the contempt in her voice coming through loud and clear as she spoke to her dad.

"Well, we are", Peter said turning back facing the front of the car when Georgie had continued to look at him angrily. "You do know you're going to have to face her eventually, don't you? Why not do it now rather than later?"

Georgie looked outside the window, feeling her anger level getting higher. "I am going now, but that doesn't mean I have to like it..."

"Sometimes you have to do unpleasant things in life to get to where you wanna go. You'll thank yourself later", Peter replied as he tried to give Georgie a pep talk.

He knew all about doing the unpleasant things, in fact that was what most of his and Lou's fights were about; them being in an uncomfortable stage, and them not facing it, hoping that things would get better - but they never did. While they had begun to talk about those things now, it seemed like nothing was any different, but at least they weren't fighting as much now, which could have been considered process.

Lou, who was just listening to Peter and Georgie talk, was nervous, but tried to act as if she was absolutely sure this would work out. The truth was, she expected this to be a disaster, but she knew she couldn't let that affect the situation. She would have to go about it as if she really was believing in what she was doing - and maybe that would eventually be the reality too.

The only one who was confident this would work out was Peter, who was sitting on the front seat and glanced over his shoulder toward Georgie again.

"Hudson's not a big place; sooner or later you are going to come across Olivia, and I think you rather it be a moment when you're not both still holding grudge", Peter explained calmly. "Things might be strange now, with you not being in school, but the plan is to get you back there. And it would be better for you if this was resolved before that." He knew going back to places where the fights had taken place would be difficult, because memories would come flooding back and along with them came bitterness and other feelings that you thought were gone. When you felt those feelings, it was easy to find yourself being angry again even though what happened was in the past.

"You're not gonna force me to apologize, are you? Because I'll have you know, it's not gonna happen!" Georgie exclaimed. She was still holding tightly to the idea that what Olivia had said was cruel and worth the punch.

"Well, actually, we were hoping you could both forgive each other", Lou cut in, feeling like she needed to back Peter up. Georgie could be as head-strong as they were and it would not be easy to carry the responsibility to keep her in check alone. "Olivia should absolutely apologize to you because of what she said - and I will assure you, we are not going to leave until you get that apology - but you also punched her and that's also worth an apology. So it's not about who was right, it's about admitting you both did a bad thing, but you have enough guts to admit it, learn from it and move on."

As she was listening to what she was saying, Lou realized she might have been heavily influence by Peter - and maybe it wasn't a bad thing in this situation. Seemed like he had more experience about this than she would have.

And her way of handling this would have been going in with both guns blazing, if she was being honest with herself. She thought back to the time Peter had walked into their living room full of angry ranchers and before he left, he had calmed them down to include her the leader of the pack. He had a way of defusing conflict, and she had forgotten about that as she had not seen much of it from him in the past few years.

Though, maybe - she thought - she had not really listened very well either.

"And how exactly are you going to get an apology from Olivia Wheaton?" Georgie was skeptical. "You may think I'm being difficult, but wait till you see how bad she can be!"

"Have some faith. People might surprise you", Peter requested, turning back to the front in his seat but in the process he gave Lou a long glance. He felt like both of them had surprised each other within these past few days, even though it had felt like they had both given up on each other already which had resulted in this separation.

Lou noticed it from the corner of her eye and glanced back, not sure what that had been about. It was as if he was trying to tell her something, but she was not tuned in. Was their mental connection lost, or had there ever been one in the first place?

* * *

When they arrived at the Wheaton's, the first thing they couldn't help but notice was the lush garden that someone was grooming, even though it already appeared perfect.

The glorious lifestyle continued to be evident when they walked into the house that like a small mansion full of lavish décor.

"Come on in", Mrs. Lacey Wheaton said, welcoming Lou, Peter and Georgie into her home. She acted as if she was superior to them as she seemed to look down her nose at the Fleming-Morris family. When Mrs. Wheaton closed the door behind them, everyone could feel the tension in the air despite their best efforts to ignore it.

"Thank you", Lou said, wanting to appear appreciative so at least they would start from a good place despite Lacey's own, not so well hidden, sour attitude.

Georgie looked around, admitting that she had always wondered what Olivia's house was like, but she had never thought it to be this posh, even though Olivia definitely was and had never hidden her family's wealthy way of living either.

The hallway was high and spacious, there was a lot of room above their heads, and right in front of them were stairs to the second floor. On their left there was a living room or salon of some sort and on the right there was a kitchen. It was hard to believe that someone actually called this home as it was not very cozy, but like the yard - despite the beauty with everything in its place - it was not warm home like but rather cold and unwelcoming.

As Georgie's gaze climbed higher, she saw Olivia, standing at the top of the stairs, looking down on them, literally and figuratively from her point of view. Her nose was red and swollen and there was a bruise on her cheek. Georgie thought she saw that her eye had a dark purple color to the bottom of it as well. Surprisingly she had not covered the damages with any make-up - as Georgie would have expected - but maybe it was because she wanted to appear as damaged as possible so that her role as a victim would be secured.

"Olivia, would you come downstairs, please", Lacey asked as she noticed that something had caught Georgie's attention. She then turned back to Lou and Peter. "She couldn't go to school with that face", the mother made sure to mention, almost as if outlining reasons for a possible lawsuit. "I'm sure everyone in school knows what happened already, but I don't see a reason to humiliate my daughter even more than she already has been."

Lou and Peter exchanged brief glances, both taking a deep breath, trying to maintain their composure so they could deal with Mrs. Wheaton as rationally as possible, before they followed her to the living room.

"Is Mr. Wheaton present?" Peter asked, wondering if maybe he might be easier to deal with than his wife.

"Oh, he's not around", she said with a voice that told Peter that he would have deal with her and only her. "He's on a business trip", Mrs. Wheaton explained. "But I think we can handle this on our own, right?"

"Yeah, absolutely", Lou agreed.

Georgie followed along after she saw Olivia coming down the stairs. It was hard to look at her and not be reminded by what she had said. She tried to stay close to Lou and Peter, hoping maybe some of their apparent calmness would rub off and help her to hold herself back from saying what she wanted to say.

"Would you like something to drink?" Lacey offered, but Lou and Peter both had a feeling she was not offering out of hospitality. It was just an empty custom, so they politely declined her offer. She motioned to the couch in the large room and asked them to have a seat, and as they they all sat down, she began. "So… you said you wanted to talk about the… incident, is that right?"

"Yeah. We - and by we, I mean, Georgie, Peter and I - really thought that it was better to talk about what happened face to face and deal with it the best way possible", Lou said, simultaneously digging out the diplomat from within herself. "We don't want this dragging on or hanging over our heads any longer that it has to, do we?"

"Well, I definitely agree on that", Mrs. Wheaton said, then looking at Olivia who was standing in the doorway, almost like hiding behind the door frame and studying the situation from the distance. Lou wasn't sure if this was the real Olivia or someone trying to manipulate the situation by playing a role of a scared victim, but she tried to be as rational as possible, not reading too much into what she saw or thought she felt Lacey was saying, because with this family you never knew what was real and what was not.

"I don't know what has been said about the situation, but we were hoping Georgie could explain the situation from her point of view", Peter said as he could see the tension building between the two women and decided that he needed to step in and defuse a situation that felt as if it was about to erupt into something that could prevent them from completing the task that they were here for.

Georgie quickly turned her head toward her father, and Peter wasn't sure if she looked at him with even more anger in her eyes than when she looked at Olivia. He realized he had put her in a tough spot, but maybe this would be an opportunity to teach her to take more responsibility for her actions; if she learned to controlled her impulses, hopefully she wouldn't be in situations like this in the future. He also hoped it would catch Lacey by surprise as well, and even the playing field a little for Georgie.

"It's okay", Peter said, realizing Georgie felt like she had been cast to the wolves. "It's important it's coming from you."

Georgie wanted to explain that in a way she was scared she would make this mess even messier. She wasn't good at picking the right words, especially when she was so bitterly invested in it. But Georgie knew that in order to explain that to Peter right now, she would look weak in Olivia's eyes and that was the last thing that she wanted to happen right now, especially in front of Olivia and her mom.

Mrs. Wheaton, who had been caught by surprised by Peter's remark, quickly moved her attention to Georgie and now had an impatient look on her face as she was waiting pounce on whatever excuse Georgie would amuse her with. In a way she seemed pleased with the change and now that it would be Georgie doing the explaining, in her twisted mind she had no problem crushing her under her verbal boot. She stared coldly at Georgie and with a wicked smile of anticipation she replied. "Yes... I would love to hear what she has to say..."

"I…" Georgie started, but then was unable to find the words she wanted to say. She could feel her palms getting sweaty and her breathing getting heavier as she tried her best to both stand her ground but also please her parents so she wouldn't lose the last thing that was keeping her sane: her horses. It didn't help that Mrs. Wheaton was waiting and more time that passed, the meaner she looked.

Meanwhile, now out of sight and almost out of mind from what was going on between Georgie and her parents and her mom, Olivia stared at her mother and the way she was almost choking Georgie with her eyes. It started to make her anxious as she knew all too well how her mother was almost able to bend iron to her will.

"It was my fault!" she finally exclaimed from the doorway, making everyone look at her. "It was all my fault..."

Olivia wasn't sure who looked the most surprised that she had said something, but all she could do was stare at Georgie apologetically. "I'm sorry", she cried before she escaped from the situation by running away from the doorway.

"Olivia!" Mrs. Wheaton didn't wait too long to get on her feet to go after her daughter. "Come back here!"

When the Wheatons were gone, both Peter and Lou looked at Georgie, wondering what exactly had just happened. Georgie wasn't sure either: Olivia hated her, probably even more after the punch she had thrown, yet she had been the one to say sorry.


	44. Chapter 44

Georgie, Peter and Lou sat in silence on the couch, all lost in thought, as the Olivia and Lacey's mumbled voices played as their soundtrack from the other room. None of them knew what to say and on some level they were expecting the Wheatons to come back and explain what had just transpired to know what really was going on before they could even begin to know how they felt about it.

 _Why had Olivia confessed and said what she had?_ Georgie wondered.

It wasn't as if she was wrong in doing so - she had provoked her after all - but still, it was so unlike of her to actually admit she had done something wrong, especially in front of her mother and Lou and Peter. What made it weirder was the fact that just a day before she had bullied Georgie about her being the kid no one wanted. So why was she suddenly redeemed by Olivia?

"Well, that was awkward..." Lou said as she was the first to comment. "Sounds like we got the apology we wanted, at least."

"Yeah, we did, but we can't just sneak out now. We're not finished", Peter said quietly so Olivia and Lacey would not hear him. "And I don't know if it's just me, but I don't feel comfortable leaving that girl with that woman... There's something odd about this situation."

If Peter was to believe things he had been told about her, Olivia didn't seem like the person who would just broke down all of a sudden when the focus wasn't even on her. There had to be more to the story.

"Like I told you, that woman is a devil in disguise..." Lou replied, rolling her eyes. Peter glared at her, trying to make her understand that she could not act like this in front of Georgie if they wanted to change her attitude. Peter was learning that whether Lou or he considered themselves to be a role models or not, it was important that they practiced what they preached. "Well, you know it's true!" she replied as she was not about to back down from her statement.

It caused Peter to sigh and shake his head. He then replied quietly to Lou. "Now who is acting all high and mighty?"

This comment caught Lou by surprise and she was about to say something back to Peter when without saying a word, Georgie got up and walked toward the doorway. There was a purpose to her walk and they could tell that she was on a mission even if they did not know what it was.

"Where are you going?" Lou asked as she started to get up to follow her. Peter put his hand on her knee and shook his head to stop her from getting up. She looked at him, wondering why he didn't allow her to follow, but he explained himself quickly.

"Have a little faith", he said, even if he himself wasn't sure what was about to happen, but he knew that sometimes you just had to go with your gut feeling. At this moment they were telling him that whatever Georgie was up to, she needed to do alone. There was a good kind of determination in the way Georgie moved which made him want to trust her. Keeping Georgie on a leash and forcing her to do the things they wanted, the way they wanted, never panned out well. It was time for her to be allowed prove herself to be worth and earn the trust she so often demanded.

Georgie walked to the room where she heard the voices coming from. Olivia was there with her mother, and as soon as Georgie appeared in the doorway, Olivia's eyes shifted to her, making her hold back her sobs.

Mrs. Wheaton noticed someone from the corner of her eye and turned to look at Georgie.

"Yes?" was her pointy demand.

"I was hoping I could talk to Olivia", Georgie requested. Olivia looked scared, but her eyes were on her mother, waiting for some kind of approval, as if she was not allowed to make her own decisions.

"Why would you think she'd want to talk to you? She's scared of you!" Mrs. Wheaton appeared noble in protecting her daughter and one could have expected Olivia to appreciate that, but instead the girl felt like going against her mother's wishes.

"It's okay. We can talk. I want to talk", Olivia said with a quiet voice.

The way her mother turned her head toward her was almost violent, and Georgie could see how Olivia shuddered when Lacey's icy eyes drilled into her.

"It'll be okay", Olivia assured her mother, making her scoff and turn away.

Mrs. Wheaton had something to say to Georgie before she left the room. "If you touch her, I promise it will be the last thing you do!"

She was pointing her index finger at Georgie, threateningly, and she was afraid to think what her words might mean. Usually she would have just glared back at her, like she did with anyone in a place of power that might threaten her, but she didn't feel like doing that this time as she wanted to protect Lou and Peter who were her concern right now too. It wasn't only about her now so she held her tongue and looked away, hoping that Lacey would just go away. Thankfully she did, so Georgie turned her attention to Olivia.

"Your mother's protective..." Georgie commented when Lacey had finally left them alone.

Olivia looked down as if she could not look Georgie in the eye. She sat there in the chair, with a scornful look on her face, and scoffed.

"Yeah, you could think that based on everything she says, but she's just protecting herself. It has nothing to do with me; I'm just part of her property, not a human being. She's such a fake... You should've heard what she was saying before you came in..."

Georgie was almost afraid to ask but she wanted to know. "What did she say...?"

Olivia took her time as she looked around, fearfully, as if she expected Lacey to reappear, before she began trying to explain to Georgie the complex situation she called her family life.

"She's not really angry at you for hurting me." This statement took Georgie by surprise, and Olivia could see from the look on her face that she did not understand her last comment. "She just sees that as a reason to get angry, and use it to hurt other people. She likes that..." Olivia told Georgie quietly. "She told me to appear more hurt than I was so she could press charges. But I don't want that, I realize what I did was wrong and I don't want to give her that power..."

Georgie stood there listening to Olivia and what she heard did not make sense to her. "But she... she's your mother? That's so messed up..."

"Well... she might be my mother on paper, but it doesn't mean anything. As you know, my dad re-married, so she's not really my mother, and she never lets me forget it..." Olivia said, shaking her head. "I'm really sorry for saying what I did to you in the bathroom, I was... having a bad day... I don't know why I keep saying the things I do, I just hear something and I feel like hurting people. Then when the situation's over, I can't take it back, it's already too messy. - I guess the apple doesn't fall that far from the tree..."

Olivia took a deep breath and looked up at Georgie as she tried to appear more relaxed, but there was a deep hurt behind her eyes that Georgie had never seen before.

"Well, I'm not gonna lie. Your mother does seem like an awful person, she's really intimidating too, but... we don't have to be like our parents", Georgie said, thinking back to what Peter had told her on the porch about anger and how to control it. "I know I want to be my own person, and make decisions that are best for me."

"It's easy for you to say; your parents embrace your nature and weirdness. I can't be myself", Olivia replied, getting out of the chair where she had been sitting. As she did, she began shivering like a leaf. "If I'm not up to their standards, they will disown me, or something."

To Georgie it seemed very dramatic. "They'd really do that...? Why?"

Olivia sighed, sitting back down when she felt like her legs were going to give out. "It's a long story..."

"I've got all day", said Georgie. "It's not like we have a school or anything to go to," she added, pointing out how she had been expelled and Olivia's mother was holding her out.

Olivia glanced at her, wondering if she wanted to explain it all to Georgie. After all, they were not exactly best friends. And as she had said, it was a long story, but saying that was also her way of protecting herself from opening up. She didn't like doing that, but even if she did open up, eventually she realized it would never be anything more than a momentary relief, because if she wanted to live with her mother, she had to be and do what her mother expected her to - and that was not what she wanted to be or do.

"Well..." Olivia replied as she weighed her options again, deciding that since she had been so mean to Georgie, she at least owed her an explanation of some kind. "When I heard you and Jade talking in the bathroom about your sister... something kind of snapped in my head. It reminded me about something that has happened to me..."

"What do you mean?" Georgie asked as she sat next to her.

"I know I've always said that I'm an only child, and while that's true now, it's not always been that way. I had... a step-sister, my step-mother's daughter, she was older than I was. She was perfect in everything she did, really", Olivia told Georgie her story, feeling weird as she had not talked about her sister with anyone for ages.

While Olivia told her story, Georgie noticed she was talking about her sister in the past tense.

"She was really beautiful, the best at riding horses and jumping, popular in school, everything you could think of... - I always wanted to be like her, I copied every thing she did so I could be as beautiful, popular and good as she was. But then..." Olivia's voice became weak, "she was in a riding accident and she... died, and then... my mother turned into this cold person she is today."

"I'm really sorry..." Georgie said sincerely, shocked at what she was hearing. She realized why the situation with Katie could have brought back some memories for Olivia.

"Thanks..." Olivia nodded, then continuing she said, "the thing is... after my sister died, my mom became bitter. It's like she hates the world and the people in it. She thought she had lost the best thing in her life, and whatever I did, my mother was always there, reminding me how my sister would have been better at this or better at that, that I was never going to be as good as my sister had been. No matter how expensive the horse she would buy me or how much money she put into my hobbies, I was never good enough. - My sister had set the standards and it was up to me to reach them. I know it's crazy, but it feels like the easiest thing for me to do is to try to meet those standards even when I know I will never be able to reach them... even though it's nearly impossible and it hurts like hell most of the time when I am continually reminded that I have failed again."

"Is that why you said that thing about me as an only child being the real tragedy...? Because it was how you felt...?" Georgie questioned as she now began to understand why Olivia had said what she did.

Olivia nodded, her head bowed in shame.

"It's like... when I hear someone opening up or I see a weak spot, I feel like attacking, like my mother... I don't want to, but somehow she's made me as bitter as she is..." Olivia said. "And my mother has made me feel like I can't lose to someone like you... Like you can't be the standard. I have to be better than you, no matter what it takes."

Georgie tried to not get too caught up how Olivia had basically just trashed her - after all she had become somewhat used to it by now, as sad as that was - but instead she tried to focus on what was going on with the her and her mom.

"Does your father know about this...? How she treats you and makes you feel like crap?" Georgie had to ask. Maybe she didn't always get along with Olivia - well, most of the time - but it was hard to think anyone living in a hell like this. Georgie had some experience about being stuck in a family that didn't care, and it was as if the saying went - she wouldn't wish that upon her worst enemy - and that was how she often viewed Olivia as; her nemesis.

"He's too busy, I don't think he's interested. Besides, he loves her, why would he care about what I think? It's not like she's not telling the truth; I'm nothing like my sister", Olivia said, wiping a new set of tears from the corner of her eye.

"Well, that's because you shouldn't have to be. You can't compare yourself to someone like that - or anyone for that matter - because it's just not fair to you. You are not your sister nor you should you have to try to be. Or your mother, either. Just... be you", Georgie told her.

"Easier said than done..." Olivia mumbled.

"Try talking to your dad first, and see how it goes. And if that doesn't help... maybe you should talk to someone at school, like a counselor or something", Georgie suggested, almost not believing what she was saying. Was she really just telling Olivia to do something she didn't want to do herself? Did that make her a hypocrite? "Trust me, the sooner you'll do it, the sooner you will be free." Again, she was surprised by her words. Had what Peter said actually made sense after all?

"Or locked in my room for forever", said a pessimistic Olivia. "You know... you're really lucky to have your parents. Maybe you're not rich or you don't have the coolest clothes, but at least you have parents who love you," Olivia replied, letting Georgie know that she had noticed that much; they had showed up to support Georgie, they cared.

"Yeah... I know", agreed Georgie, feeling like maybe she had been taking Lou and Peter for granted. "They are pretty great", she said, smiling as she realized they were in fact the best guardians she had ever had. "And... I'm really sorry I hit you. That was not the right thing to do."

"I'll forgive you if you promise to never do that to me again. I think my nose is starting to make weird noises because it's been close to breaking so many times... It can be hard to breathe sometimes", Olivia shared.

She looked down and appeared so fragile that Georgie was beginning to realize she was not just the annoying girl she had got to know, but a person too with her own weaknesses and bruises.

"I promise you, I will never do that again", Georgie said, actually realizing it wasn't just about her having the last word in a fight, Olivia's health was on the line. If she wasn't being careful, she could do so much more damage than she had intended - though, at the time doing damage was all she had wanted to do. Georgie was beginning to realize everything Peter had told her about controlling her anger was not only true about her, but had consequences that effected others as well.

She had to change her ways before the damage was irreversible for everyone involved.


	45. Chapter 45

Amy was lunging a horse in the round pen when Jack and Lisa came out from the barn with Buddy and Copper. She was trying her best to concentrate on the horse trotting around the pen, but could not help but strain to hear what they were talking about after she had seen the flowers that Lisa had carried into the barn.

"You got the flowers?" Jack checked when he had mounted Buddy.

"Yes, sir. Gotta be careful so I won't crush them, so... here", she said, handing them over to Jack before she mounted Copper.

Jack took the bouquet and fixed his gaze on the flowers longingly and Amy could see that Jack's mind was not on the flowers or Lisa, but somewhere else.

It had been a while since Jack had visited Marion's grave stone and he felt bad for neglecting her, but he figured maybe it wasn't as important to go see her grave side as it was to keep her in his thoughts and help others remember her too.

The flowers and the way Jack had looked at them got the best of Amy's curiosity, so she asked: "Where you headed?" She loosening the lunge to let the horse know it was alright for her to slow down. When the horse slowed down, she directed her eyes toward Jack and Lisa again.

"Uh, well, to the cemetery. We are taking these flowers to your mom's grave site", Jack replied while Lisa finished mounting her horse. When she was done, she reached out her hand to take the flowers from her husband.

"You wanna come too?" Lisa asked, even though they had planned this trail ride to be just for them, but it felt wrong for her to not ask Amy to come along, especially now that she was aware of their plan. After all, it wasn't as if her coming along would have been a problem for either of them, and she knew that it had been a while since Amy had been there as well.

"Thanks for asking Lisa, I would love to go, but I've got my hands full here and don't have the time right now. - Speaking of which", Amy said, turning from Lisa to Jack, "I think we need some new help around here, Grandpa. I would like to hire a new ranch hand, if that's okay with you?"

"What's wrong with Caleb?" Jack asked, understanding he could have a list of things if he wanted, but that was not the point here. "I mean, I know he's not the best ranch hand you could get, but he comes cheap."

Lisa shook her head as she listened to Jack talk. The man was so tight with his money when it came to everything, no matter how much he might need something, he would try and find a way to do without it.

"That might be true, I mean, he does work for peanuts, but I think he is a good worker when he's here. But the fact that he's hardly ever around makes it hard to get any work out of him", Amy pointed out. "I wish he was here all the time - believe me, I do - but he has his rodeo and his own things he has to take care of, and I don't want to take that away from him. He's a great cowboy and he should be out there competing - like he is - and not here mucking out stalls. But he's not here that much and that's the problem; I need more help. If it's about the money, I'm sure I can find a little to help out and-"

"No, no", Jack replied raising his hand and stopping her mid-sentence while shaking his head. "You and Ty are fixing that loft up there", he pointed to its general direction, "and I know that you need all the money you can get for it right now - so no, I'm not letting you compromise on that. I'll just... I'll think of something, okay?" he said, hoping to come up with some kind of solution that was both cheap and efficient.

"Okay. But I hope you can come up with it fast", Amy said, not wanting to push her grandfather too much, but she was also aware that sometimes he took his time coming up with a solution. "The work's piling up, so don't wait too long", she reminded him one more time, letting him also know she knew how he procrastinated on things.

"I will get on it when I get back." Then turning to Lisa, who was holding the bouquet, he asked: "Ready to go?"

"I am", Lisa replied, giving Copper a nudge with her heals to let him know it was time to head out.

* * *

They both rode in silence as both Jack and Lisa were lost in thought, but not for the same reason. When they reached the top of the hill, Lisa opened up on her thoughts.

"You know, I was talking to Ben the other day."

The sound of her voice brought Jack back to where they were and off of this distant thoughts.

"Oh yeah? How is he? The last time I heard of him, he went to university, didn't he?" Jack replied, as he continued on steering Buddy toward the cemetery.

"Yeah, but that was ages ago", Lisa said, realizing she never really talked about her side of the family with Jack, but then again they never visited her either. "Things have changed a lot since then", she admitted, wondering if she even knew where to even begin.

"Does he still do show jumping?" Jack asked.

"No." Lisa shook her head. "He gave that up when his horse passed away."

"Red?" Jack checked because he was not sure if he was remembering the name right. His memory was not what it used to be these days.

"Yeah..." Lisa confirmed. "It was like a start of this dark period in his life, actually. He lost his hearing after an ear infection and he's sort of isolated himself from the world. I do talk to him occasionally over Skype or text him, but it feels like it's getting harder to get a hold of him anymore. But I understand that it's a big loss when you lose a horse he loved as much as Red and then to top that off it can't be easy to follow what's going on in the world around you when you can't hear it."

"Yeah", Jack said sympathetically.

"So... I was thinking, maybe if he came to Heartland, it would do miracles for him", Lisa suggested. "I know it's helped people before. Scott, Ty, Georgie, even Ben himself once upon a time."

Jack turned his head, wondering what Lisa was trying to imply. "I'm not saying he's not welcomed, but what could we possible do for him...?"

"Well, you need a ranch hand and he knows how to do that job. Plus he needs an accepting community in his life right now, and you've got that right here. I'd say it's a win-win situation all the way around", Lisa had just finished her appeal to Jack as they reached the cemetery gate

They both dismounted and again, Jack was lost in thought.

"And if it's the cost you're worried about", added Lisa, "I'm more than happy to take care of any expenses it might cause you", she offered since Jack hadn't responded to her suggestion in any way. "And maybe I'm not suggesting this purely for selfless reasons; I have to admit it would be nice to have him around now that I've more or less made Heartland my home", she said, hoping she wasn't ruffling any feathers after their miscommunication this morning. "I miss having my family close too."

Jack did not respond to her statement but tied Buddy to the gate loosely, so Lisa did the same with Copper. Like Amy, Lisa knew Jack took his time with these things. Then taking the flowers, she followed him to the grave site.

Lisa gave Jack some privacy as it seemed like he was having a moment while looking at the engraving in Marion's stone. She let her eyes wander when she noticed that Jack had placed his hand on the stone next to Marion's.

 _Lyndy Bartlett, a loving wife and a beloved mother._

She had to admit that even if she was okay with the fact that Jack had been married in the past - after all, she had been as well - and was now a widower, Lisa always felt like on some level she was competing with Lyndy, though Jack had time and time again tried to assure there was no competition.

Somehow, Lisa thought, it was almost harder to be married to a widower than it was to someone whose ex-partner was still alive. Lyndy was always seen in a different light than shewould ever be, mostly because she had been "the original love of Jack's life", the mother of Marion and the one who had passed away way before she and Jack had even met. Somehow Lyndy was this mysterious character to her. Though after all the stories she had heard, it was hard to imagine how.

It seemed almost unfair to Lisa that she had to fight for her place in the family, because Lyndy probably never had to. All Lisa wanted was to belong and most of the time she felt like she did, especially with Jack by her side, but she could not lie to herself and say that there were never times she felt like she was never going to be good enough to be as much a part of the family as Lyndy was.

"The flowers, dear", Jack's voice cut through her thoughts and she turned her head toward him and the hand he had reached out.

"Oh, right. Here you go." She handed the flowers to Jack, telling herself not to dwell on her doubts too much. After all, she was making some progress here, right this minute.

When Jack had placed the flowers next to Marion's grave stone, he stood up, lowly cursing his aching knees. He then stretched his back and returned to the earlier conversation, as he was having the thought of family on his mind.

"I'll think about it, Lisa", replied Jack as he turned to face her.

Jack's statement caught Lisa by surprise as she was not even sure what he was talking about, so she asked questioningly. "You'll think about what?"

"Ben coming to work at Hearland. Even if it doesn't work out, he's more than welcome to stay here anytime and for as long as he wants. I want Heartland to be your home, which means I want you to be able to invite family and guests to come and stay whenever you feel like it. You are part of my family - as we've established - and I want your family to be my family too."

"I like the sound of that", Lisa said as they reunited. She took a hold of his arm with a smile on her face. "Us as one big family."

"Me too", Jack admitted, smiling too, even though it soon changed into a longing expression. He reached out again to Marion's grave, placing his hand on the cold stony surface. "After all, family's not just blood, it's love and acceptance too."


	46. Chapter 46

As Lacey Wheaton returned to where Lou and Peter were still seated, she felt self-conscious as they watched her return to the room. Olivia's apology had turned the tables and put Olivia in a bad light - and when her daughter looked guilty, she looked guilty, and that was unacceptable in her mind. She was aware of the change of the atmosphere, fully knowing that Georgie's parents were waiting for her to change her narrative now that Olivia had taken the blame, but she wasn't about to give them what they expected, because what they expected was for her to look like a loser, a bad mother, and that was not was she was.

"Well... it seems for whatever reason Olivia feels remorse, God knows why", Lacey said as she sat down and arranged her hands to her lap gracefully. Even if the situation looked bad, she held dearly to whatever dignity she had left. "But the facts still remain; Georgie is dangerous. I mean, did you see my daughter's face? And it's not the first time this has happened. If we're going to let her off the hook, she's going to do it again - mark my words."

Peter leaned forward a little on the couch to let the woman in front of them know that he was not going to sit back and let her dictate to them as they tried to settle whatever brewing drama was about to unfold.

"Lacey- may I call you Lacey?" he checked before he continued. Mrs. Wheaton gave him a shrug, which he interpreted as a yes. "My daughter is impulsive, but she's not dangerous. I know it may not seem like that to you, since she hit Olivia, but she doesn't go around and look for people to hurt, that's not like her at all. She was only defending herself. And before you say anything - no, we do not accept that kind of behavior - but we are not going to just punish her and move on. That will only make it worse. She is grounded for the time being, and we have taken away other privileges as well, so she isn't walking away unpunished from this, but we assure you, we're trying to get to the root of the problem. She's been having some difficulties related to her past and right now she's going through a rough period in her life-"

"But that shouldn't mean that she gets to defuse herself around my daughter!" Mrs. Wheaton cut him off in the middle of the sentence. She wasn't about to have any pity party for a girl who had been poorly raised. If the Fleming-Morris family had been more disciplined with her to begin with, she would have known not to hit Olivia.

"Of course not, I completely agree with you there", Peter said, trying his best to make Mrs. Wheaton to see they were not the enemy. If anything, they were allies who were trying to keep both of their daughters out of trouble. "What I was saying was we are looking into some help so that Georgie would have alternative methods to express her feelings, hopefully in a form that will not hurt her or others. So... this is the first step. We brought Georgie here to apologize, but we also needed an apology from Olivia, so that Georgie would understand that that would be how it would ideally work; that both parties take responsibility for their actions. Because that's what is required for them to move on from this, and hopefully when the girls get back, that problem has been solved. I'd even dare to say that none of us - not I, not Lou or you - want our daughters to get hurt or fight with each other. And I suspect they'd feel better about being civil around each other too. But this should never just be something they have to deal on their own, as their guardians, we have to help them to deal with it because they don't have all the tools or perspective yet to handle it because they are teenagers. So... we all have the same goal here, right?"

Lou looked at her husband, impressed by the way he negotiated with Mrs. Wheaton. She had to admit she wouldn't have been able to stay as calm herself while talking to Lacey after she had cut him off and tried to throw the blame back on Georgie, and she wasn't even the one with the anger management issues. So not only was Peter doing a good job by her standards, he was also making a progress on his own.

"Well, you got your apology from Olivia", Lacey replied and it seemed like she did not really care about that, but was more focused on the other part that would follow, "we just now have to hear Georgie's apology." She smiled coldly, holding onto her pride. It seemed like there was no getting through to her, but both Lou and Peter were hoping that Olivia would be more compassionate than her mother.

"I got it, Mom", Olivia's voice came from the doorway. She was standing there with Georgie and they both looked at Lacey. Olivia's eyes were welled up, but she looked more at ease than when she had left the situation just minutes before.

"Well, I didn't hear it", Lacey said, demanding something to sooth her ego. "I wanna hear you say it", she now had her eyes set on Georgie, and the girl looked nervous under her gaze.

"Should I address it to you or Olivia...?" Georgie found herself saying. She couldn't believe she had just said that, because in her core she was intimidated by Mrs. Wheaton, yet she couldn't let her talk to her however she wanted. And after Olivia's story, she even felt sorry for her for having to deal with a mother like her.

"Excuse me...?" Mrs. Wheaton looked at her, almost in shock, as she felt Georgie had once again proved herself to be out of control. She looked at Lou and Peter to see what their reaction was, and while they were confused by Georgie's attitude, they waited what she had to say to understand better where this was coming from.

"It seems to be that you have to be in control of everything Olivia does or doesn't do. If she says she got an apology and she accepted it, that should be enough for you, because what happened in that bathroom is between me and her - not you. You don't get to control what's enough for her. She decides that", Georgie said.

Olivia looked at the person beside her, both feeling encouraged by how straight Georgie was with her mother, telling it to her like she had always dreamed of, but at the same time scared by the consequences that would follow as soon as Georgie left. She may have had Georgie as her shield now, but she was nowhere close to her level of talking back to her mother. She was good at that with everyone else, just not with her mother.

"It's okay, Georgie..." Olivia tried to hold her back.

Georgie looked at her, wondering why Olivia was suddenly being so submissive when she was never that whenever they had a fight. If she wasn't about to stand up for herself, she would only welcome more crap from her mother. The things she had told her made her think that Olivia was tired of being abused by her mother, and knowing something about being treated badly, Georgie wasn't just going to stand by and turn her gaze - not even when it was Olivia, her biggest nemesis, who was the abused one.

"No, it's not okay", Georgie demanded, shaking her head. "If you're going to let her control you and make you something you're not, she's going to crush you inside. It's a trap that's hard to get out of."

Lou watched her daughter, surprised how she was willing to stand up for Olivia. She had known Georgie to be passionate and righteous in her own way, but this was not the same girl that had been sitting at the back of her SUV, saying how much she didn't want to have anything to do with Olivia.

What had happened between them in the other room? Had Peter been right about having a little faith?

"I don't know what you think you know", Lacey started, getting up from the couch and walking toward Georgie, "but whatever it is, you're wrong. I've given my daughter nothing but the best and she's had a freedom to choose whatever she wants to choose because I can afford to offer her that." She didn't appreciate Georgie's attitude, especially because she was spreading lies about her and her reputation as it was one of the most important things she had going for her.

"You just don't get it", Georgie scoffed, not understanding how someone had gotten so far by being so stupid. "You think money is what it's all about. You may shower Olivia with gift horses and the best equipment there is, but that kind of love - if you can even call it that - is as hollow as you are."

Lacey gasped a little.

"How dare you-"

"I'm not finished!" Georgie stopped her, demanding her to listen. For everyone's surprise, Mrs. Wheaton actually did stop to listen. "You may think that you showing Olivia all these options to choose from is you being noble, but as far as I know, you don't offer anything without adding in the underlying threat of her being disowned by you should she choose "wrong". That's not freedom, that's control. You don't get to tell her who she is or who she should be - she is who she should be, and you should accept her as she is."

Mrs. Wheaton inhaled deeply, then turning her eyes on Olivia. Everyone in the room waited for her response. It was hard to say if she was angry, disappointed or something in between because she didn't say anything, and when she finally did, the tone of her voice was neutral.

"Is that how you feel...?" she asked her daughter.

Olivia stood there, her shoulders up and her head bowed down as if she just wanted to disappear. Georgie looked at her, hoping that she would find enough courage to stand up for herself even if she was scared of what might follow. But this was her chance and whatever she said next could end up changing her entire life.

"Tell her", Georgie encouraged, quietly, almost whispering it to Olivia. "I'm a living proof that even though things may seem bad at the time, they can get better, and you can find your place in the world just by being you."

Olivia turned her gaze toward Georgie, taking in her words and then weighing her options. She knew what she wanted to say could backfire on her, badly, but she also had some faith in her mother having a heart underneath that cold surface.

"Mom..." Olivia started. Everyone was holding their breathe. Her voice was shaky and her appearance was fragile, but there was determination in her eyes that shone through. "I wish... you would just love me as I am. Not as someone who could be Willa, but is not. I want to have my own standards and not the ones that were set by her, because... I can't be her. I'm sorry you lost her, I know you miss her very much, I do too, but... I'm just never going to be her, no matter how hard I'd try. So I'm not going to try anymore, because it's never going to happen. And I'm sorry if that makes you disappointed in me, but... there can only be one Willa, and that's what made her so special to begin with. I don't want you to look at me like I'd could be her, I want you to look at me like I'm me..."

Mrs. Wheaton held back her tears, not able to say anything as she felt she would choke if she tried to speak. Instead, she pulled Olivia into an embrace and closed her eyes.

It was an unexpected reaction to Olivia, as a scoff or an insult would have been more in line with her mother's usual style, but this - an embrace - felt better. It felt like maybe her mother was starting to accept her. And the weirdest thing was, her mother had not shown her acceptance after she had made a clean round in a riding competition like Willa always had, but after she had spoke from the heart and shared her own thoughts.

Or maybe the weirdest thing was that Georgie Fleming-Morris' encouragement had made it all possible.


	47. Chapter 47

The ride back to Heartland was quiet, Georgie, Lou and Peter were all replaying everything that had happened over and over in their minds. For the most part the atmosphere in the SUV was calm and relieved, but there was also some mystery in the air.

"Who is Willa...?" Lou had to finally ask since the question had been burning in her brain for good twenty minutes. Mostly she just wanted to know who had been such a big influence in Mrs. Wheaton's life that Olivia had been able to turn her from ice queen into a real person by using her name.

Georgie, who had been staring outside through the window, looked in Lou's direction. She had not heard Olivia say her name during their conversation, but she was pretty sure she had a good idea who Willa was based on everything she knew.

"Olivia's sister", she replied.

"Oh", Lou responded, then thinking it made sense in the context. "I didn't know Olivia had a sister."

"Well... I didn't either, but I learned today that she died some time ago", Georgie explained. "And ever since then, Olivia's mother has been trying to make her be just like her so then she could think as highly of her as she had about Willa. I don't know, but it sounded like a really messed up situation..."

"Yeah", Lou agreed, glancing at Peter.

The man looked back and they shared a moment, even though neither of them was sure what it meant. In Lou's mind she gave Peter credit for being right about smelling something fishy in Olivia's family situation. In Peter's mind, he was just thinking how Lou still looked for his reaction to see how he felt about things. She might have started to drift away slowly, but there were still some things they did with each other that showed they were bonded together, it seemed.

"I don't think we have time to get Katie before Adam comes over", Lou noted as she checked the time. "I will just drive you guys home and go pick Katie by myself."

"Okay, whatever you think is for the best", Peter replied.

The drive back to Heartland continued quietly after that, and when they finally got back home and Georgie had stepped out of the truck, Peter reached out and pulled Georgie aside before she could go anywhere.

"You know, honey", he started, taking her by the shoulders and giving them a gentle squeeze. Lou stepped out of the car and walked to their side as well to see what they were talking about. "I'm really proud of you. Not only because you apologized, but also because you were able to see Olivia's situation to get a better understanding why you've both been going at each other over these years. Hopefully, from now on, it will no longer be a problem."

"Well, I will definitely try", Georgie promised. "And... thanks for the talk earlier, I think I am beginning to understand what you were trying to say", she continued, showing that she was willing to give some credit to him too.

Peter smiled, trying to hide what he knew to be a surprised look on his face. What she had just shared showed that maybe indeed she had learned more from their talk than he could have hoped for.

"Oh yeah?" Peter asked.

"Yeah", Georgie replied, not wanting to get too deep into it. She didn't want to explain what had happened with Olivia because it felt too private for her to share, but maybe Peter appreciated knowing that he had made some difference and she had heard what he was trying to tell her.

Lou watched them, feeling like the worst part was now behind them. It was a relief to see that they were going to the right direction, even though they were only getting started.

"I agree with your father. You were amazing", Lou said, then having Georgie's attention. "The way you spoke to Mrs. Wheaton... you seemed so grown up." It always amazed her how mature Georgie could be for someone her age sometimes, but then again she had learned a lot of things the hard way and had therefore gain more knowledge about life compared to some of her peers. "I think you really helped Olivia there. I hope that whatever was going on with her and her mother, this will be a start of a conversation. Just like this has been for us."

Georgie was surprised how Lou and Peter all of a sudden seemed to be back on her team. She had thought of them fondly in the room with Olivia, but had feared she would have had to hold onto her pride to protect herself, but after doing what had felt right to her at the time - apologized and stood up for Olivia - she had actually opened the door that had separated them, and now they were back to being a family again.

She could see now that Lou and Peter had punished her for her wrong behavior for a reason, hoping that it would steer her to the right direction, the one she had just taken on her own. Being grounded had been their way of telling her to think of the situation and the consequences before rushing forward. By not allowing her to not give Olivia or the fight any second thought would have only ended up being another thing to add to her baggage. Now that everything was settled, she felt better, and it was easier to see the reasoning behind Lou and Peter's actions.

Now that she felt their connection was back, Georgie wanted to tell them about these feelings she had had back at the Wheaton's. It was part of her past she had never shared with anyone; standing up to Olivia had almost been like a scene from her own history - only she had been Olivia in the situation and no one had not been there for her like she had been for Olivia. That had also been why she had not been able to stand aside and let Mrs. Wheaton walk all over Olivia, because once upon a time she had hoped someone would have done same for her.

Maybe she wouldn't have been so messed now if someone had.

But despite feeling better about her relationship with Lou and Peter, Georgie decided to leave the story for another time, since the connection was still fragile and they still had some mountains to climb before she would feel completely secure to share those hurtful memories with them. So, instead she asked for some time to herself to think things through.

"May I be excused?" Georgie asked. "I need to go eat something, I'm starving. I ate so little this morning."

"Sure, honey", replied Peter as he released his hold on his daughter.

As she was making her way to the house, Lou hollered after her:

"Don't eat too much, it's almost lunch time!"

"Yeah, yeah!" Georgie yelled back as she opened the door and went inside. It made Peter chuckle, as it proved to him that things were starting to get back to normal. He brought his eyes from the screen door that slammed shut behind Georgie back to Lou.

"So I guess I'll go get Katie", Lou said, looking back at him. "Do you wanna come with me?"

"I would, but there's this call I need to make. Work related, so..." Peter explained, and from that Lou understood that it was important and it needed to be made.

She had almost forgotten how it had felt to have Peter's full attention. These last few days had almost been too good to be true in that sense because Peter had been more husband to her than ever before and a father to their girls in a way Lou had always wanted him to be. But now that things were settling down, it was back to her being a work widow.

Lou thought about what Amy had said about her always been in the eye of the hurricane and thinking that was her normal and now that she didn't have anything dramatic going on in her life, she felt out of place. For Lou it wasn't the same, but it felt like in the eye of the hurricane, no matter how crazy it was, at least she had had Peter by her side, and in that sense it was bittersweet that it was coming to an end.

"Okay. Well, I'll see you soon then", Lou replied, walking back to the driver's side of the car. As Peter walked away from the SUV to get out of the way and to get some privacy, he pulled out his cellphone and called Helen, his assistant in Vancouver.

When she picked up on the other end, Peter said:

"Hey, Helen. - Yeah, she's okay, thank you", he replied as Helen wanted to know how Katie was doing. "We are glad she's recovering so well... Listen, I know you guys are expecting me to come back soon, but I'm going to have to ask few more days off. - Yeah, I know, it's not the best timing, but I feel like this is where I should be right now because something else has come up. Could you send all the information about the Hodgkin's contract to my e-mail? I'll probably have time to look at them tonight. - Thanks. Oh, and one more thing... Do you think you could look into our Alberta office, see if they have any spots available...? - I'm just curious to know if there might be something closer to the girls... And if you would not tell anyone about this I would really appreciate it, thanks. I haven't decided if I want to do anything yet, I'm just looking into it..." he explained, feeling his heart beat faster.

He wasn't sure if he would even take a position - if there was one available to begin with - but he wanted to have that option open, especially if things started to look better here. One thing he had learned from all this was that he wanted to be a better and more present father for his girls, and that would be easier if he lived closer to them.

And another thing he was beginning to realize was that he still had very strong feelings for Lou. It was complicated situation, because he still had some trust issues to deal with her, but since it looked like they were trying a new approach, maybe he could overcome those issues. In a way he was afraid to jinx it, but he also wanted to have a plan in case he was actually able to save whatever there was to save of their marriage. Maybe it wouldn't lead anywhere, maybe they would still end up getting divorced, but he had to see this through before he would be willing to admit there was nothing that could be done about it.

During these last few days, he could still feel there was some hope left.


	48. Chapter 48

When Lou arrived to Vanessa's apartment, she could see Katie and Abraham playing on the swing set in the front yard, and they appeared to be having the time of their life as Vanessa was giving them gentle pushes to their backs to help keep the movement of the swings going. While she was relieved to see Katie laughing and enjoying her stay, Lou was still worried about her daughter, yet this now shared thoughts about having a strange feeling about Peter's call to work. While it should not have come as surprise that he would call, there was just something that was different about this.

Lou wasn't sure why she was so bothered by the fact that Peter was going back to Vancouver soon; there had never been any other plan, it had always been understood that things would get back to normal as soon as Katie's condition was stable and Georgie was getting the help and support she needed. And as those things were well on their way to being done, of course work was back on Peter's mind, as it always had been.

Maybe there was a little - or not so little - part of Lou that had been so caught up on the recent changes in their relationship, that she had began to think that things could change, they could get better from here and not in a way she had thought. Up until now, she had prepared herself to get ready for the divorce, and the fact that Peter was not wearing his wedding band anymore had pushed her even further into that frame of mind.

But that had been for the better, right? That was the whole point of this separation - to help things get better for all of them.

But was it a contradiction to enjoy Peter's presence and the time with him now that it was something she was about to give up - at least in the way she had become accustomed to. Somehow Lou didn't want to let go of this, she didn't want to give this version of Peter up, the one she had waited all these years to come out from under that workaholic role.

Had Peter changed or was she just now seeing him in the different light due the circumstances? Could the circumstances be changed for good or was this just temporary?

As she approached Vanessa and the kids, she tried her best to look as relaxed as possible. After all, Katie was under a "no stress" rule.

"Hey, guys", Lou greeted them. She watched Katie swung back and forth, her little legs kicking the air as she tried to help herself climb higher through the air. She held onto the ropes tightly, looking more gleeful than she had in days. This was what life was supposed to be like for her now, not worrying or hospital beds.

Katie's face lit up when she saw her mother. "Hey, Mommy!"

Even though she was excited to see Lou, Katie kept on swinging, as it was something she enjoyed very much and could do for hours. They didn't have a swing set at Heartland, so this was a rare treat for her and she wasn't about to give that up, even if that meant that she was not able to go and give Lou a hug like she usually would whenever they were reunited.

"You having fun?" Lou asked her as she continued walking toward Vanessa who seemed like she wasn't having a problem looking after two small children. It was another relief for Lou as she had been worried about how much attention Katie was going to get and if Vanessa would be able to notice any changes in her had there been any.

"Yeah! I don't have to go home yet, do I?" Katie asked, sensing that it was the reason her mommy was here.

"Well..." Lou started to say as her eyes drifted toward Vanessa, because she didn't feel like she was completely responsible for the answer. After all she was the one counting on Vanessa's hospitality.

"We could have a cup of coffee, if you want. I think the kids would love to have the chance to play for a little while longer", she replied as she read the cue from the look on Lou's face.

"That would be great", Lou said as she felt like she wasn't in a rush to get back to Heartland since she was with Katie and Peter was with Georgie. "Coffee sounds good actually", she added.

Since Dr. Virani was only looking into finding a specialist, there wasn't really much they could do to help Georgie at this point either. When the time came, they would sit down with Georgie and talk about the counseling before anything would actually happen. After today's steps at the Wheaton's, Lou felt like Georgie needed some time alone to wrap her mind around the whole thing. It was after all what she wanted with Peter: for Georgie to think about things so she would know how to act from now on.

And maybe Georgie wasn't the only one in need of wrapping their mind around this whole day so far; Lou felt like she could use some time alone too, granted she was with Vanessa, but in a way being around a friend was almost like getting a breather.

"I'll go get us the coffee, if you can look after the kids?" Vanessa suggested. She seemed like she was pleased to have the company and that helped Lou feel better too.

Lou nodded, putting her car keys in her purse before she set it next to the swing set. "Sure thing", she replied.

"I'll be right back", said Vanessa before she went back to the house, leaving Lou with the kids.

"Mommy, when can I go back to kindergarten?" Katie asked when Lou was helping her and Abraham by pushing them in the swings. "I miss my friends."

Lou was caught off guard by the question, but after a moment of thought, she realized it was the same thing with this as it was with Peter; things were bound to get back to normal sooner or later. What else should she have expected? Katie deserved to get back to her usual routine, what else could be more comforting and relaxing to her than that. Living this life between the aftermath of the accident and waiting for another shoe to drop was not the way Lou wanted Katie life to be, nor hers for that matter.

The thing was, it wasn't probably going to be that hard a transition for Katie, if she even noticed, but for her, as a mother and as someone who still felt guilty about the accident, it was difficult. She had lost that illusion of her child's safety, because if she, as a mother, could not keep Katie safe, how could anyone else be any better at it? Lou knew it was just her fear talking, claiming no one could be trusted, but she also knew it was important to listen to that fear in order to get it under control and understand where it was stemming from.

She knew this step with letting Vanessa look after Katie for few hours was just the first of its kind, she needed to gain more confidence in herself and others before she would be okay letting Katie live her life without her worrying about her every move. That being said, she would try her best to shelter Katie from her worries, because it wasn't something a five-year-old was supposed to even think about. This was her problem to deal with, not her child's.

"Mommy will talk to Daddy about it. Hopefully you can get back to the kindergarten soon", she replied to Katie, hearing the kids cheer as she tried to come up with a solution to help herself to deal with the upcoming changes.

"So... your husband's here", Vanessa started a conversation when the kids had moved and were now playing at the sandbox while the adults were having their coffee few feet away.

Vanessa had been itching to talk about Peter ever since she had seen him when Lou had dropped off Katie. This was the first time she had met him, and it was somewhat good to put a face with a person she had heard so much about.

Since becoming friends, talking about their ex-husbands and the situation they were in had become one of Lou and Vanessa's main topics of conversation. And the best thing was, they were both comfortable telling each other just about anything because they knew the other one would understand what they were saying, if not because they had been there, then because they could just imagine it all based on everything they knew about each other and their spouses.

Lou looked at Vanessa from behind her mug as she took a sip of the coffee. She could tell there was a suspicious undertone in Vanessa's sentence and in a way she could understand why. While she had been careful not to bash Peter in any way in any of their conversations, the way she had talked about her situation and the difficulties with him in the past had probably not made Peter look good, even if she had not tried to project that of him.

"Yeah. I'm glad he's been able to get few days off from work", Lou commented, nodding as a sign of approval.

Vanessa found her response almost humorous. "That's it...? That's all you have to say about it?" she teased, smiling a little at how coy Lou was being.

"What am I supposed to say about it...?" Lou wasn't sure what Vanessa was getting at. She wasn't even sure if she was ready to share the "what if" thoughts she had had on the way here because she felt like a fool for feeling any kind of draw toward Peter. It was hard to explain to anyone else because they had not shared those moments with her, they didn't know their history like she did, so they didn't know the emotional impact these last few days had had on her. They only knew the surface, which was what she usually talked about with Vanessa because that was easier to explain than what was going on deep down inside her.

"Well, tell me how it's been. I mean, the last time he was here, you barely interacted and he mostly spent time with the girls, right? I would think that this situation with Katie would have forced you to spend more time together", Vanessa said as she tried to steer the conversation while giving Lou some point to start a conversation with. "I just know that if that had of been me, I would probably be losing my mind. Let's just say that trying to come up with reasonable plans with Greg when it comes to Abraham's well-being is one of those things that reminds me why we are getting divorced..."

"It's been fine, really. Better than I would have expected actually", Lou said, shrugging. But Vanessa had already come to know Lou and she knew that the less she talked about something, the more there was to it.

"Are you sure...?" Vanessa checked, looking at her friend.

Lou took time to reply. She knew that she could trust Vanessa, but maybe this wasn't about that. Maybe she didn't trust herself.

"Okay, there might be something going on between us", she finally admitted, "but I don't want to talk about it before I'm sure it's even worth talking about. I might be just... confused, or something, and to be honest, it would not surprised me if that's the case. I've hardly slept these last few days and things have been crazy, so my emotions are all over the place. If it turns out it's something important, I'll tell you. Because if it's something, trust me, I'm going to need someone to talk to - someone who's not my family, and that's when I'll need you."

"Alright. Well, I'm here whenever you need me", Vanessa said.

Lou smiled. She felt relieved knowing she had someone like Vanessa to trust. "Thanks for that. You've been a great friend, honestly, I don't know how to thank you."

"Well, actually, I was thinking when things are looking better for you, how would you feel about a girls' night out?" Vanessa suggested. "Few drinks, karaoke... some dancing... I know I could use one. Maybe you could too." She bumped Lou with her hips, trying to encourage her to loosen up a little. It made Lou sigh dreamily.

"Oh gosh, I don't even remember the last time I was out..."

"See? That just goes to show you need it too!" Vanessa pointed out, making them both laugh.


	49. Chapter 49

When Peter entered the house, he saw Georgie standing in front of the fridge with the door wide open. The girl looked like she had been staring at the contents of the ice box for a while, hoping that if she kept looking at it, something delicious would appear. But she had had no such luck so far.

"Hey, I have an idea", Peter said as he removed his shoes in the mudroom. Georgie closed the door of the refrigerator and waited to hear what it was. "How about we make a lunch for everyone together? I mean, how often do Lou, Lisa or Jack get a day off without one or all of them having to make a meal for everyone? I think they'd appreciate the effort."

"Well... okay, but... I don't really know how to cook", Georgie pointed out. She knew she was lucky to have a dinner served to her every day and she did try to help with the preparation when she was available, even if meant something as simple as making the salad or slicing the bread, but so far she had not really learned how to make a dinner from scratch. She knew how to bake - thanks to Youtube - but that was a different field than cooking a meal.

"It's okay, you'll learn. Besides, that's the beauty of the team work; you do one thing, I'll do another", Peter explained, walking to the fridge to see what they could use as ingredients. "Let's see what we got in here..."

Georgie was curious. She had never seen her father do anything complicated for dinner, but she still had a sense that Peter knew what he was doing. "How do you know how to cook?"

"My mom taught me", Peter told her. "She always said that she never wanted any of her boys to become a burden for their wives. That we ought to be able to take care of ourselves." He placed some items on the table as he was trying to come up with a dish that they could prepare together. It would require some creativity on their part.

"What about your dad; does he know how to cook?" Georgie asked. She had never really gotten to know Peter's parents very well as she had met them briefly few times, so she wasn't sure what kind of people they really were.

"Well, no. Maybe that's why my mother knew what she was talking about when she said she didn't want her boys to become burdens", Peter joked, making Georgie smile when she realized what he was trying to imply. "I think it's something that has changed over the last few generations - of course not for everyone; there really are no longer women's chores and men's chores, though there are some very physical ones that are more suited to a man because usually they are stronger, but there are women who stronger than some men, so again, it's not everyone. For example, let's take what goes on here at Heartland; Jack cooks even though some men would think that it's women's job, and you see Amy doing things that many would consider to be something a man "should" do. And no one questions it, because it's just what we do without thinking that is Jack's job or that is Lisa's job. We are able to do what we do best and sometimes we don't do so well, but we don't say "you can't" to anyone who wants to help - unless it might be dangerous to them or someone else."

Peter's word to her made Georgie stop and think. She wanted to say something, but she wasn't sure what it was or more to the point how say it. There were some things from the past that were weighing on her, but it was hard to express them in a simple manner as they were much to complicated to discuss casually. But she felt she had to say something anyway. "So you don't think girls are weak...?"

"What?" Peter wasn't sure if he had heard her right. "No? Why would I think that?" He looked at Georgie, wondering if he had ever given her the impression that he thought women were weaker than men.

"Well, I don't know. Maybe because you think it's your job to provide for the family", Georgie said, shrugging. "You're always working, it's like you don't think Lou can provide for us, even though she has Maggie's and the Dude Ranch."

She had heard Lou and Peter have fights about the topic many times, so she knew it was a touchy subject in a way, but that had never stopped Georgie from stating her opinion.

The way Georgie expressed her take on the work situation, one that had been one of his and Lou's biggest issues over the course of their relationship, made Peter think. He wanted to argue Georgie's statement, but he didn't know if he could. As he tried to find a way to explain it all to Georgie, by letting her know that it was a much more complex issue than it appeared, he decided to let the statement stand for the time being and made a mental note to talk about it with Lou. Their issues should not be Georgie's issues, but he did want to touch on the gender thing as he felt that was really the focal point of Georgie's statement.

"It's not that", Peter explained, closing the fridge door. "It's not an issue of gender. I think girls can be as tough as boys and boys who are as gentle as girls. It's about the individual. And I need you to know that you're as good as any boy or any girl. I don't want you to ever think that you are not good enough just because you're a girl, okay?" Peter had stopped what he was doing and checked to see how Georgie was taking what he was saying. He watched as she sheepishly nodded but then smiled when she realized that Peter was watching her intent on knowing that what he was telling her was true. "You can look around you and see all these amazing, strong women in your life - Lou, Amy and Lisa - and know you can do anything they can do and more." Peter smiled as he realized that Georgie had an amazing support system of women in a time where he as a man could not necessarily provide insight on some things.

"I know, I just..." Georgie replied as she searched to to find the words she wanted to say. Peter waited patiently. "There was this... I had this..." she was stumbling on her words and sighed.

Peter noticed how Georgie was struggling to say what was on her mind and that she was about to say something that was hard for her to express. It was not common for her to be at a loss for words and seem so insecure, so he wanted her to know that it was okay to be a little lost. "It's okay, take your time and what you want to say will come to you", he assured her.

Georgie looked him in the eyes, seeing again the father she realized that she could rely on. She knew that Peter would love her in spite of what she had done or said. "I had this foster father..." she began to tell the story.

Peter stood there and listened with both his ears and his eyes hanging on every thing she said and movement she made. Because even though he had been Georgie's parent for three years, there were still blanks in her past that he didn't know about and he wanted to be there for Georgie if she ever felt like talking about them.

This was one of those times and he did not want to miss a thing.

Georgie paused for a while, before she continued. "He was really nice at first, like we did everything together... but then... he started to change. He became obsessed with the baby his wife was about to have - the baby was a boy. It was like... I was no longer good enough because I was a girl. - I don't really know how to explain it, it's stupid anyway..." She started to regret opening up. The more she explained, the more she felt that maybe it was hard for anyone else to understand her situation.

"No, no. It's not stupid", Peter said. As he watched Georgie begin to pull back into her shell. He knew he needed to be extra cautious, but he also needed her to know he was not here to judge her. "So... how did that make you feel?"

"Well... not good", Georgie said. She knew it was kind of obvious answer, but it was the only reply to Peter's question. "I guess I really didn't want to be a girl because... I felt like I wasn't good enough as a girl. So... I wanted to be like a boy, because maybe people would want me more if I was a boy." She could remember that back-firing later as some of the foster parents had not wanted her because she wasn't "a cute girly girl" and she was harder to deal with because she insisted of being "a tough tom boy".

As he listened to Georgie speak, Peter was beginning to realize how this explained most of Georgie's behavior in the past; the way she had hated dresses or how she had hit that boy at school during her first weeks "like a boy" and then the boy had cried "like a girl".

"Well you can be anything you want, as long as you're being you. We love you as you are", Peter said, not wanting to confuse Georgie about who she was like the foster father had. It sounded like this guy had made a big impression on her - and it was not the good kind. It made Peter angry to think how some people were responsible for young children and then they did something that could be irreversible to them, all without realizing what kind of problems they could cause by being a bad example for the kids. "Your foster father was wrong in doing that, and I hope you know that he didn't really love you for the right reasons. Because a real parent would never make you feel bad about being something you can't change."

Georgie felt relieved. The conversation had gone better than she expected, and Peter had somehow been able to understand how bad everything her foster father had done had made her feel.

"You understand that, right?" Peter checked.

"Yeah", Georgie replied.

"Okay, good. And if you ever want to talk about... anything, at any time, I hope you feel safe enough in our love for you that you can talk with either your mom or I. I want you to understand that we are here for you no matter what", Peter explained once more to make sure one last time she did. Georgie nodded and smiled, letting him know the moment had passed. "Alright. - Now... Let's see what we have, roast beef, sour cream, onions, mushrooms. Hmmm... if you get a can of beef broth and noodles from the pantry, we can make a quick beef stroganoff. Then we could steam this broccoli and make a salad to go with it. Does that sound good to you?" asked Peter, wanting to get Georgie's mind back on something fun as they would have plenty of time to explore what she had talked about later.

"I'm down", Georgie said as she went to the pantry. As she was trying to find the ingredients Peter had asked for, she found something else too and had a thought. "Hey, Dad, I found some chocolate chips here as well. Could we make some cookies too...?"

"Sounds good to me", Peter replied as Georgie came back to the table with the broth, noodles and chips. "Are you ready to make the best lunch they have ever had?" he then asked.

"Yeah, I am", Georgie replied a big smile on her face as Peter handed her a knife.

"Good, because we're about to make one."


	50. Chapter 50

Lou stepped out of her SUV and walked to the back door to help Katie out from the car. The little girl had been full of energy on their way home - she had been taking turns singing and playing a game of "I Spy" with herself - while Lou had spent the time thinking of how to prepare herself for the changes that were going to happen in the following days. If she had learned anything in her thirty-two-years of life, it was that things usually seemed worse than they actually were.

So maybe this was one of those things too.

"Okay, Katie, let's go inside", Lou said as the little girl hopped down from the backseat with her backpack.

"When can I go back to play with Abraham?" Katie asked. She acted as if it had been months since they had last played together, even though they had built sand castles not more than thirty minutes before.

"I don't know when we can go there again. But I do know that his mom promised to come visit us sometime, so you two can play again soon hopefully. And when they do come here, you can show Abraham all the animals. I bet he'd like that", Lou replied, trying to give Katie something to look forward to so she wouldn't feel too bummed about not being able to stay longer at Vanessa's.

"When is "soon"? Tomorrow?" Katie tried to guess, a pleading tone in her voice.

"I don't know. It's really up to Abraham and his mother", Lou said, positioning her purse on her shoulder and taking Katie by the hand as they walked inside the house.

Katie didn't seem to like Lou's answer, so she replied: "Can we call them?"

"Maybe later", Lou replied, hoping that the girl would not continue talking about this subject much longer. She understood that Katie wanted to be with her friend, but as an adult she knew that they had to take other things than her needs into account. Like Lou not wanting to bother Vanessa too much. She felt like she had taken a big slice of her day already with the babysitting gig and she didn't want to take away anymore of her time with her son than she already had. Lou knew that Vanessa wasn't as lucky as she was; even though Vanessa had custody of Abraham, the boy still saw his father every week and when he did, Vanessa came home from work to an empty apartment. Lou couldn't imagine living like that. She was so used to not only having her girls living with her, but the rest of the family as well.

Lou was pretty sure the fear of Peter wanting to take the girls with him to Vancouver had passed, but who was to say that Peter was not at least considering having the girls come and visit him every once in a while now that things had shifted and he had become more aware of their everyday life and Lou's role as a mother. It was still something they needed to discuss before Lou could say for sure that the girls would stay here with her.

"We're home", Lou called out to Georgie and Peter as she and Katie entered the house. The little girl ditched her backpack in the mudroom bench and rushed to see what her father and sister were doing. As Lou removed her shoes and set her purse aside, she noticed Georgie stirring something on the stove and Peter setting the table. "Something smells good…"

"Dad and I are making lunch from the left overs", Georgie said. Lou was impressed, not only because Georgie was willingly spending time with them, but also because the girl didn't seem that anxious anymore - on the contrary, she seemed relaxed and focused. "It should be ready soon."

"Can I help?" Lou offered, already rolling her sleeves.

"No, absolutely not", Peter replied as he denied Lou's attempts to join them in the kitchen. "Why don't you go play with Katie?" he suggested as he returned to the kitchen to get the glasses. When he saw the look on Lou's face, he decided to clear things up. "No offence, but you're not doing anything today. We are in charge. Right, Georgie?" he asked as he checked with the young girl as she worked at the stove.

"What he said", Georgie replied as she turned to wave off her mom, before turning her attention back to the stove to check on the food.

"Wait, where's Adam?" Lou asked when she realized he still wasn't here even though he had promised to be there by now. She looked around, hoping to catch a glimpse of him.

"He texted. Said he can't make it - mentioned something about a debate team I think, but I really can't remember", Georgie explained. To be honest, she actually did not care what his reason had been. The boy loved school and all its activities so much that it made him seem kind of dull and not fun to be around at times. "He wanted me to pass on his apologies. He said he'll call you later to make a new appointment."

"Okay… Well, I hope he'll make one soon because you can't fall behind", Lou replied a worried look on her face. When Peter saw that Lou was starting to stress again, he decided maybe she could use something to do as Katie had already busied herself in the living room playing with her dolls.

"Why don't you go see if Amy is finished with her chores?" Peter suggested as he knew Lou was not good at doing nothing. "And I think I saw Jack and Lisa dismount few minutes ago in front of the barn. Can you tell them that lunch is almost ready."

"Oh, okay. I can do that", Lou said, nodding. "Do you need anything else?"

Peter shook his head. "Nope, just that."

Lou returned to the mudroom and put her shoes back on and started to leave for the barn.

"Can I help, Daddy?" Katie asked as she came back to the kitchen to see what was going on.

Before Lou could turn around and remind Katie not go anywhere near sharp objects, Peter was already gently refusing the girl's offer. "I think we're good, sweetheart. How about you go with Mommy and see how the real Pogie is doing and bring GG and Lisa back for lunch?"

"Okay", Katie agreed, rushing to her mother and taking her hand, pulling her toward the door. "Let's go, Mommy!"

Lou glanced at Peter as she was being pulled out the door and mouthed "thank you", before she went outside with Katie.

"You and Mom seem better", Georgie had to comment when Peter could not stop smiling, even after Lou had left the house.

Peter jerked his head from behind the cabinet door, trying to decipher Georgie's tone. He had thought their civil attitude to be a good thing, but now he wondered was it confusing for Georgie to have her parents seem to get happier the closer they were to a divorce? Did it send her a message that the marriage had been a mistake and now they were going to make everything okay by this separation?

Peter didn't want that.

"Yeah, I guess we are. This living apart thing hasn't been necessarily a bad thing, it has given us room to think about all kinds of things", Peter explained while taking out seven glasses for lunch. "And you know, even though I'm living in Vancouver and your mom is living here, it doesn't mean that we don't still care about each other. It's just… things are confusing right now and we are trying to figure them out. I don't want you to think that I'm happier in Vancouver or that I don't miss you guys when I'm there, because I do miss you, all the time."

"Then how come you don't visit us more?" Georgie asked. "I like it better when you are here. I think Lou likes it too", she confessed. Georgie knew sometimes Lou was so stubborn she forgot to say what really mattered and focused on things that actually weren't that important to disguise her fragile heart.

Peter closed the cabinet door, thinking how he could possibly put all the feelings and the moments shared between him and Lou into a sentence that would make sense for someone who had not lived through it. Because no matter how he might spin it, it was never as simple as it sounded.

"Maybe I will. That's what I'm here to figure out", Peter finally said. After all, he had made that phone call to Vancouver earlier, trying to think of an alternative way for them to live together, even if they would still be apart. But he wasn't ready to share that plan with anyone, he had to figure it out himself first; was it what he really wanted and how would that change things with Lou? "I think that's ready", he said, then pointing to the food on the stove, simultaneously moving on from the subject. "Why don't you get it on the table. I think the others will be inside soon."

"Okay", Georgie replied.

Seemed like maybe Lou wasn't the only one disguising their fragile heart.


	51. Chapter 51

While Jack and Lisa were outside, looking after Katie as she was trying to point out Pogie in the field, Amy had asked Lou to come to the barn office to have a talk with her before they went to lunch. She was willing to guess that after the one-sided talk she had had with Georgie this morning, things were still going to be tense over lunch as they sat around the table and she wanted Lou to know why. In fact, Amy thought Lou deserved to know what was going on with Georgie from her point of view. Maybe this was something that had not been noticed by her or maybe Peter either.

"What is it, Amy?" Lou asked as they stepped inside the office after noticing the look of concern on her face.

"It's about Georgie", Amy began. It immediately made Lou more alert as she was on this personal quest to help Georgie as well. "I was trying to talk to her this morning about something she said to me yesterday", Amy started, trying to give a little background for Lou so she would hopefully understand what had happened between them. "Yesterday she gave me her take on why Merlin is having problems. She said she thinks Ty and I are at fault, that we were bad parents to him that we screwed him up."

Lou's tilted her head to the left and stared. "Oh come on, Amy, you don't seriously think–"

"I know, I know", Amy stopped Lou before she would go any further. She knew her sister well enough to know that Lou was about to try and talk her out of thinking that way. "It sounds silly, and I don't say I believe it - nor am I saying I don't believe it, because I still don't know what's going on with Merlin - but that's not the point."

Lou could see the frustration building up in Amy as she spoke and wanted to help her not feel that way but before she had a chance to speak Amy continued.

"The point is, I was surprised and wondered where and why that train of thought was coming from with Georgie. It felt like she was taking it kind of personally, as if we weren't talking about the horse at all. And this morning, when I tried to let her know that what she had said had hurt my feelings, I also tried to ask if something was bothering her. And I don't think it was the Olivia thing or the fact that she's suspended from school. I figured maybe it was your situation with Peter", she continued to explain calmly.

Lou and Peter's separation wasn't something the family talked about much even though it was what was happening. It was almost as if nothing had changed, since mostly it didn't feel like it had, as Peter was in Vancouver like he had always been and Lou was with the girls at the Heartland ranch, and the way they acted around each other had not really changed because of the pending divorce. But Amy figured maybe the family's way of not talking about it was the problem. Maybe it needed to be talked about so that Georgie could process it better.

Lou wanted to give Georgie a little more credit than Amy was. She knew Georgie was a tough girl and they had talked about the divorce, though maybe not in depth. But then again how much more could she take - or was even expected to take - before she would have had enough? Throwing in what had just happened at school and with Katie, was it fair of her to expect Georgie to be able to handle it all just because she had been through hard times in the past. Or was it because it would make it easier for herself and her guilt of ending up separated from Peter to just decide for Georgie what she could and couldn't handle.

Amy watched as Lou's stood there, looking as if she wanted to say something but nothing came out and since she looked more bewildered than hurt or angry, Amy continued.

"So, I talked about my own experience with mom and dad and their divorce, hoping that she would see that people around her have gone through what she is going through too, and maybe there's someone willing to listen to her if she ever wants to talk about it. She said to me it was nothing new to her, so I figured maybe this has happened to her in the past too", Amy continued, pulling Lou back into the conversation. "But… the more empathy I showed, the angrier she got. She snapped at me and said she wanted to keep what was past in the past. – Now… I don't know if you already know something that could explain her reaction, but I just thought I should let you know in case you didn't already. I don't know any more than that, but I figured I'd share what I know because I want her and you guys to be okay."

Lou nodded as she gathered her thoughts about all that Amy had said and then replied her sister. "I appreciate that, Amy. Thank you for telling me."

"Of course, I just want things to be okay", Amy added one more time.

As Lou searched her mind, she couldn't come up with anything from the files she had read about Georgie's past or talks they had had about her foster parents that would fit in with what Amy had just shared. Maybe it was worth rechecking the files and information just to make sure she had not missed something that could explain Georgie's behavior.

Inside the house, Georgie had seemed fine, but that didn't mean she wasn't hurting underneath. Surely she was a master of hiding her hurt by now, after everything she had been through and after all the places and people she had seen. If that was the case, Lou was starting to worry about her even more. Who knew what she had missed while thinking Georgie was okay because she had been too busy with her own problems to have seen her daughter's problems or her coping mechanisms. This punch, that she had thrown at Olivia, had already proved that she didn't understand Georgie's way of handling troubling situations. Lou had never been where Georgie had, so she didn't understand the way Georgie thought or why she reacted the way she did and thus brushed it of as "problematic behavior" that needed to be punished. But, because of what Peter had shared and what she had seen this morning, Lou had begun to understand that maybe Georgie didn't need punishments to correct her ways as much as she did understanding.

* * *

When Lou, Amy, Jack, Lisa and Katie got back to the house, the table had been set and the food was already waiting for them in the dining room. Peter helped Lisa get seated while Georgie was putting spoons and ladles in the dishes with food.

"Well, would you look at that…" Jack said as he admired the food he saw, something that at lunch time especially he was often in charge of. The smell of it alone made his mouth water, not to mention seeing it laid on the table.

He let his eyes rest on the offerings while he took a hold of his chair, but not only was he happy about what he was about to eat, Jack was pleased to see Georgie and Peter being in the charge of something that usually wasn't their responsibility. It felt like so many changes were in the air and these were the kind of changes he was okay with (since it mostly didn't involve him and his need to change his ways).

Jack was willing to bet Peter probably felt good about being able to do something to get a chance to feel like a real family member too and he was also proud to see Georgie out of her room, taking part in the things everyone else was doing. Just because she was grounded, didn't mean that she had to sulk in her room all day; in fact, Jack had hoped that she would quit with the rebelling act and start acting like she was mature enough see she had made a mistake and accept the consequences and to be able to still handle social situations.

After all, was that not the measure of being a grown person which Georgie so often insisted of being called and treated like.

"Seems like we should go on trail rides more often, eh?" Lisa joked to Jack as she took a seat next to him. Even though she loved cooking, whenever she was presented with a set table with food on it, Lisa was happy to enjoy the meal. This moment was no exception.

Jack chuckled. "Seems like it…"

"Wow… This looks so great, guys", Lou commented as she sat next to Lisa after helping Katie take her seat. She smiled proudly at both Georgie and Peter, gently laying the napkin on her lap. They both exchanged pleased looks and took their seats.

"I'm starving", Amy commented as she took her usual spot next to Georgie. The girl seemed a lot happier now, but her words were still bothering Amy. Georgie didn't glare at her, but she didn't necessarily ignore her either, but it still made Amy uncomfortable having this unresolved issue hovering over their heads. With all this food and everyone so seemingly happy around the table, she was hoping to have another try in settling things between them. "You doing anything after lunch, Georgie? Because, if it's okay, I would like for you to come help me with the horses."

"Not that I know of", Georgie said, her eyes drifting toward her father. She didn't know if Peter would insist her doing dishes too, but since he didn't interrupt their conversation, Georgie figured maybe she was off the hook.

"Good, if it is alright with everyone we can start right after we enjoy this meal", Amy proposed as she handed the bowl of salad to Georgie as the family passed around the rest of food.

"Uh, yeah, sure", Georgie replied, shrugging a little, unsure why Amy was making such a big deal out of wanting her to help her. That was what they did most of the time anyway, when she was not doing other chores.

This reminded Jack of something. "About the help you asked about earlier", Jack said to Amy, cutting into the conversation. "Lisa and I had a talk about it while we were on our ride", he glanced at his wife, "and she might have a ranch hand in mind. But, we'll need to check on it first."

Amy looked impressed. "Aah", she said, looking gleefully at Lisa. "Note to self: bring up things in Lisa's presence so I actually get Grandpa to do something about anything," she said with a smile and a wink, not so subtly hinting about her grandfather's slow reaction speed to most things.

It made the whole family chuckle, outside Jack, of course, who didn't appreciate the teasing at his expense, as he thought his "sluggish way" of doing things more of a good thing than a subject of a joke.

"How about adding that extra wing to the barn…?" Amy said knowing she was pushing her luck even in a teasing manner.

"You'll need five Lisas to have him even consider that", Lou replied taking part in the conversation, making Jack glare at them all, with his best tough guy stare.

"And here I thought I'd have so-called "happy meal" now that Tim is not at the other end of this table, but I guess I should have known the snide remarks run in the family", Jack fired back, "and that's not on my side!" he added to ensure that everyone knew it didn't come from his side and he wasn't to blame for Amy and Lou's running their mouths like that.

Jack's comments made everyone laugh, easing any tension that might have been between anyone. In the middle of passing bowls and digging in, Peter looked over at Lou, wondering when was the last time he had felt like part of his own family like this.


	52. Chapter 52

After lunch, Amy was walking back to the barn with Georgie tagging along. The girl seemed to be in better spirits, but the ghost of the earlier conversations still haunted Amy. She was trying to think how to bring up the prior conversations without having to go through another tantrum from Georgie. But she figured the right time would present itself if she just took her time and waited, and it also wasn't a good idea to start this working session by bringing in the tension right away, especially when she wasn't even sure how to go about it.

When they were inside the barn, Amy went to get a bucket. She threw some oats into it and put it aside for later use. Georgie's eyes followed her around, wondering what she was up to.

"So… what do you want me to do?" Georgie asked as she began to feel foolish just standing there, watching Amy, and doing nothing. Amy took two halters from the hook and walked up to her.

"Well, I was able to have a successful join-up with Merlin earlier and now that he's had some time to rest, I was thinking we could do something a bit… slower", Amy explained, handing Georgie one of the halters. "Can you take Spartan and walk him to the bigger pen, please?"

"Okay", Georgie replied as she took the halter Amy had just handed to her, then walking toward the black gelding who had been watching them already and seemed anxious as she approached him. It was as if Spartan was sensing he was about to take part in the upcoming activities and could not wait. He greeted Georgie with few muzzle nudges as she opened the latch of his stall door and went in.

Meanwhile Amy was doing the same thing with Merlin, talking to him as she approached, giving him few scratches on the nose and neck as she entered the stall. The horse seemed calm as he trusted Amy to be near him after the join-up. The starting point was looking good.

"When you go out, can you take the bucket with you?" Amy asked Georgie as she was about to leave.

"Okay", Georgie said, grabbing the bucket as she passed by it.

Amy waited till Georgie was out of the barn with Spartan before she walked Merlin out, taking the lunging rope with her on her way out. They followed Spartan to the big pen, but kept their distance because the whole idea of the exercise was to ensure that the horses couldn't get too comfortable with each other just yet. Even though there were always risks with this sort of experiment, it helped that Spartan was so stable and didn't get scared too easily. It not only made Amy feel more safe, but it also allowed Merlin to settle down faster too when he was looking at his herd - in this case Spartan - to see what the appropriated reaction should be.

"Okay. Can you put the bucket down on the ground and then walk a little bit further away with Spartan?" Amy requested. Georgie nodded as she followed her instructions, wondering just what she was up to. Amy did not keep her in suspense for long. "What I'm trying to do is to see Merlin's reaction to other horses while he's eating", she explained as she attached the lunging rope to his halter. "I'm using this longer rope to give myself some distance, just in case. What I will do is, I will walk Merlin to the bucket, hopefully he feels like eating the oats, and while he's eating, I want you to walk Spartan to the gate, like you would be taking him back to the barn - but keep your distance so Merlin hopefully doesn't get too distressed - or stressed at all for that matter."

"Sounds pretty simple to me", Georgie commented.

"Yeah, well... it should be, but there's a possibility there will be a problem, and if there is it won't be simple… So, be cautious and try and keep Spartan as calm as possible", Amy said before she told Georgie to start walking Spartan to the gate. She trusted Georgie to know how to do what she had asked her to do as she was familiar with horses and she and Spartan had a good relationship as well. That would help if Merlin were to act up. "You ready?" she checked with Georgie before they began.

After getting a nod from Georgie, Amy loosened up the rope and started walking toward the bucket. She didn't add any pressure to the lunge, as she wanted to see if Merlin would follow her on his own. The rope was only there for the safety, so Amy could get the horse under control, if needed. Amy wanted Merlin to follow his natural instincts because that would be the key for his progress. He needed to tell Amy what he was comfortable with and what he was not, and that way Amy could figure out what she would have to work on with him.

Amy had taken her first steps forward but before she had put tension on the rope, Merlin began to walk toward the bucket.

When she was next to the bucket, Amy took few steps to the side so there was plenty of room around the bucket. Just as she had hoped, Merlin's curiosity got the best of him and he walked to the bucket, cautiously smelling it. At first it seemed like he was unsure, not knowing if it was safe to eat or not, but when Amy appeared relaxed and did not move closer to him, Merlin put his muzzle in and tasted the oats.

When Amy was sure Merlin had began to eat, she gave a nod to Georgie so she would start walking Spartan towards the gate.

From the corner of his eye, Merlin could see Spartan and Georgie walking to the gate, but he didn't seem distressed by it, just acted as any horse would by being watchful. When they passed by, he pulled his head out of the bucket and watched as Georgie continued to the gate. Merlin was still chewing his oats and his body language showed to Amy that he was relaxed as he watched where the girl and the horse were going. It was almost as if this would have been the horse's version of watching television while eating.

Amy was very pleased with the results. "That's a good boy, Merlin", she praised him.

She still didn't approach or touch him, thinking maybe it would cross some kind of line. For now they needed to see his reaction to other horses first and then introduce other stimulates they might come up with. One by one they would scratch off the possibilities as they tried to narrow it down to find the root of the problem.

Georgie stopped at the gate and looked back. "Was that okay?"

"Yeah, very good, thank you", Amy said, thinking how big a help Georgie was to her; she couldn't have done this alone. "Now, try walking back, but this time when you get to the center of the pen, move Spartan so he walks up on him from behind - again not too close, but a little bit closer than what you just did. I'll see if there's any change", Amy instructed.

Georgie followed Amy's guidelines and walked Spartan to the center of the ring, this time as they approached it was a little bit closer than before. Again, Merlin turned his head, but looked like he was more confused as to why they kept going back and forth pointlessly than he was worried about losing his food.

"Good boy", Amy said when the new situation was over. "Okay, so it appears he doesn't have a problem with other horses walking pass… I'll try to see how he reacts to me coming to him. Can you and Spartan go out of the pen, please?" she requested.

Amy would have been lying if she would have said she was not nervous about approaching Merlin. She knew there was still a lot work to be done, but if they wanted to make progress, brave steps needed to be taken. It was all about being cautious and doing it so that you could undo the situation as quickly as possible if needed. And as long as Georgie and Spartan were safe, she already felt better about it.

Before she did anything else, Amy took a deep breath and tried to relax herself as much as possible. She knew that Merlin would be able to sense any anxiety and that could cause him to react, possibly out of a protection mode because he did not know what she was about to do instead of maybe feeling as if his food supply was threatened.

When the gate creaked close, and Georgie was safe, Amy took a side step toward Merlin. The horse was still trying to finish off the oats from the bucket, and Amy waited for him to notice her approach. But when nothing happened, she took another step towards him. When she was just a step away from Merlin, Amy sighed a little out of relief - and a little out of frustration - as she thought that she might have gotten a little information about what made him react as she had been told he would. She reached out slowly and touched the neck of the horse to make sure he was okay with her, and when he didn't even shudder, Amy realized she could rule this guess out too.

But at the same time she was confused.

Why didn't the horse react to her like she had expected him to react based on the owner's story? Why didn't he try to bite her? If the problem wasn't about people or horses approaching him, what was it?


	53. Chapter 53

"You sure you don't want me to wash them with you? I've got time", Lou offered as she watched Peter fish dishes from the soapy water after the dinner. "I'd be happy to help", she said as she tried again to get Peter let her help with the chore.

Amy and Georgie had gone to the barn to work with the new client horse while Lisa and Jack had decided to check to make sure that everything was okay at Dude Ranch with the guests there. Besides Peter, there was a couple staying in one of the cabins and they had booked some of the activities that they offered to guests to entertain themselves. Lisa had insisted on Lou staying behind and getting some rest. She had informed Lou that she was happy to take care of the business meanwhile.

"Okay, fine", Peter replied as he decided to give in, "you can dry."

He took the kitchen towel and handed it to Lou. Never in his life could he remember seeing woman getting so happy accepting a kitchen towel, but it showed what they all knew; Lou needed something to do to calm her down, as it made her anxious to watch others work while she just stood and watched.

As Lou took the towel, she glanced at Katie who was drawing at the kitchen table, and when the girl seemed okay, Lou stepped beside Peter to help him with the chore of washing the dishes.

"It's not that I don't mind washing these dishes - after all, I was the one who insisted on it - but why don't you guys ever use the dishwasher? Is there something wrong with it?" Peter enquired as he thought about never seeing it used. It also was something casual to talk about because it seemed strange and even a little awkward that they were just doing the dishes in silence.

"Well, I do sometimes use the dishwasher when I'm busy, but I guess washing dishes can be kind of therapeutic", Lou explained. "You can just be with your thoughts for a while and you can actually see the process of the dishes getting clean. There's something calming about that." She shrugged, wondering if what she had just said sounded strange. "It's almost like the whole way of life here in the country and why I like it here. I like it in the cities too, but just for short amounts of time now, though there was a time when I could have made the city my home."

She smiled as she realized that she was no longer staying in Hudson because she had to or because she was needed, but because she wanted to.

"Hmm, yeah, I guess I can understand that", Peter admitted, handing a plate to Lou who then dried it and added it to the dishes piled on the kitchen counter.

"Speaking of cities", Lou saw an opportunity and took it. The thought had not left her alone ever since Peter had made a phone call back to Vancouver. "You must be dying to get back to work."

Peter looked at Lou, frowning and trying to understand where this was coming from. Lou acted casual, but the way she had phrased the whole sentence made it sound it was anything but a casual remark by her. He loved his job and Lou knew it, but he didn't mind being here either as he loved to spend time with his family too.

"I'm in no hurry", Peter told her. "Obviously there's still things we need to take care of together, Georgie's therapy being one."

"Yeah, absolutely", Lou said. "And I feel like we - you and I - should sit down and talk too. Like maybe there are things we should talk through, concerning us", she continued. "I know things have been better with us now, but when you came here, we had those awfully big fights, and I guess I feel like if we don't face them, they will keep coming back or come between us. I mean, who is to say that as soon as you go back to Vancouver, things are not going to go back to how they were?"

"That's always the possibility, but we're not going to let them, are we?" Peter replied as he checked Lou's reaction to what he had said. She exchanged a determined look with him as he handed her yet another plate. "We promised to be more open and understanding. Obviously we all have our difficulties in adjusting to this situation and while we can live with those things for the time being - like we have - it shouldn't be a permanent solution. There are things we can do to help each other, it just requires stepping up and sacrificing some things in order to make each other feel better. We may be a little broken, but we're still a family. Right?" he continued, having the secret of him possibly having the job in Calgary in the back of his mind.

If that position could be found, he needed to know that Lou would also be willing to do something for the relationship as well, just to know this wasn't a one sided thing. These last few days had been a roller coaster ride for him, thinking their relationship was over, then him feeling like it was far from over, so right now he just needed to be sure that there was a starting point for something to happen, because he could see it going either way.

Getting to know where Lou was mentally was a big part of letting him know where to start - or stop if that's what it came to. There was no problems with the girls, he already knew what to do with them.

"I agree", Lou said, drying the plate with her towel. "I don't wanna go backwards. I kind of like this being civil with one another and actually taking time to talk and work things out together. I wanna move forward to wherever this road might lead us."

Watching Lou, Peter had to admit he was feeling the closest to her he had felt in a while, not just physically but mentally as well. He thought to himself maybe he had found a good place to start - until he noticed Lou's bare fingers. Just like him, she had stopped wearing her rings.

Peter didn't know for sure why it was such a slap in the face, because it was not like he had not been the first one to remove his band, but he guessed the situation had evolved since then and he had had moments of hope for them, until the reality hit him reminding that this wasn't some kind of trial run before them making the decision to separate.

They had been there already. Now they were past that point.

Clearing his throat and trying to move on from this personal set back, he remembered he had promised to talk about Georgie's situation with Lou.

"I was talking to Georgie when we were making dinner, and she told me about this foster home and family she used to live with", Peter said.

Lou was listening carefully as this was almost exactly what she had thought she needed to talk to Peter about too ever since Amy had voiced her concerns before the family lunch.

"Apparently the father was a real jerk, one of those macho guys who think women are weak, which is why Georgie had gotten the impression that she's not good enough as a girl. – It makes sense now, looking back. Remember how hard a time you had with her when you wanted her to dress up, and she said she hated dresses? Or the time she hit that boy at school and claimed she had hit him like a boy and he had cried like a girl?"

"Yeah, I remember that…" Lou said, nodding. She wondered if these were the parents that had traumatized Georgie in other ways too. "That's just wrong… No wonder she felt like that. – I'm glad she's grown out of it, but it's still horrible. Who knows what else has happened to her that we don't even know about."

When they were done with the plates, she took them back to the cupboard.

"Makes me think this therapy thing might be something that she needs, not just for her anger management issues, but for everything else too. I mean she's been with us for years now and we only found out about that now? How could we have missed it…"

"Yeah… I guess she likes to keep a lot to herself", Peter said, looking at Lou, "but it still doesn't make it right. Maybe part of her thinks that that was normal until she came here and could see it's not. And how could a child think something was wrong if she's never told that it was? As if she needs to see the right in order to realize that what she thought was right is actually wrong."

"Yeah…" Lou said, shaking her head and returning to her spot. "It's moments like these that makes me so happy she came into our lives. I can't just imagine where she might be if she had not come here…"

As she returned to where Peter was still standing, Lou wondered if she should open up about her feelings regarding this matter from a very personal point of view. He had told her a lot of intimate things over these last few days, so Lou figured she had to meet him halfway if they wanted to move on together.

"You know I wasn't keen on this therapy idea and I still have my doubts", she started, "because maybe I'm seeing myself in her and… it's hard to face those feelings again."

Peter looked at her, their eyes meeting, letting Lou know he was paying attention.

"I guess I'm just starting to realize that… I didn't have the best childhood and maybe I'm over compensating for it through the girls. But I'm starting to feel like I'm going at it the wrong way. I can't just pretend like there aren't problems, because there are. Not just with Georgie, but with Katie as well. I keep telling myself that Georgie can handle a lot of things because maybe I had to handle a lot of things myself and I made it here. I guess I was thinking it would only make her tough. But there are different ways to be tough and not all of them are good and not all of them lead to a happy place. I have a feeling that what we are seeing are early signs of her going to the wrong path if we don't stop it."

Lou took a deep breath and looked down, realizing just how much responsibility she and Peter had in raising children. She then looked back up at Peter and in a very serious tone and look on her face said: "It's our responsibility as parents to make sure she gets to - and stays on - the right path."

Peter nodded, agreeing, and realizing he was starting to see the most vulnerable side of Lou he had ever seen. It was almost as if witnessing a miracle of some kind.

"I've had a lot of time to think these past few days since my life has been sort of on hold and I've come to the conclusion that I still haven't recovered from my childhood. I know it's such a strange thing to say because I know mom and Grandpa did the best they could with what they were given, but… I guess I still haven't dealt with many of my issues with dad. I know we seem close, but… the truth is, it's all very complicated. I guess we both like to keep busy and pretend we don't hurt, when we do. A lot of our relationship is based on very superficial things and we probably ignore the rest, because that's how we are; we like to turn around and pretend there's not something bad going on behind us. – Maybe that's why I let things go this far with us too and why I haven't noticed the warning signs with Georgie and why I was so distracted with Katie. I was just too busy ignoring my problems…" Lou spilled out, realizing she had said more than she had expected.

There was a silence in the room that Peter didn't know how to break, so he reached out and touched her to let her know he was here for her. He waited a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity for Lou to continue, but when she didn't, he tried his best to make her know that what she had just said had not gone unheard, that he appreciated this rare look into her inner most secrets and her heart.

"Okay, I'm starting to see the appeal of washing dishes the old-fashioned way", he finally said, a smile crossing his face as he acknowledged the wisdom of what Lou had said earlier about it being therapeutic.

Lou looked at him, trying to understand what he was trying to imply, when it finally dawned on her. Realizing the nod, she smiled carefully not knowing how to feel about it, but looking at Peter's face, she knew that she didn't have to be embarrassed of the outburst of feelings.

Even though she could tell that things were still fragile between them, Lou could also sense that they were heading in the right direction. While it was scary to feel this exposed to someone, it also felt right that they had both opened up and shared a part of their life that they had never thought of sharing with anyone for fear of how they thought people would see them as weak.

But now she realized that in opening up, she felt closer to Peter than she had since she had first met him. Gone was the relationship based on pure emotion and desires. What had replaced it was something that she did not quite understand, but she now knew that she liked where they were headed. No matter the outcome, their relationship would never be the same and she looked forward to see what that might look like.

"Told you…" Lou said with a smile, returning to Peter's side and accepting and drying the utensils when he was done washing them.


	54. Chapter 54

"It's kind of backwards that we're not happier that a horse is behaving well," Georgie said as she and Amy were walking their horses back to the barn.

They were both feeling a bit down that they had not made any big discoveries during this session, well, none other than Merlin acting like most any other horse would have in the those situations.

Amy glanced at her, nodding, simultaneously trying to understand what could have caused Merlin's problem as described by the owner.

"Yeah, to think that we actually have to keep going and look for the bad behavior, it's kind of like we have convicted him of being guilty with no evidence to prove our case", Amy admitted, now that she thought about it. "But we have to get to the bottom of this behavior since he can't tell us what's bothering him. And when he does tell us, we'll help him overcome it by earning his trust and helping him feel like he is loved and not being punished as we help him change whatever it is."

Georgie nodded. She had learned that much about the way Amy worked; she would not give up on Merlin, or any other horse for that matter. "So, what are you gonna do next?"

"I think I have to try and see how he responds to a horse eating not too far from him, or maybe even with him, and then see how that goes. I also have to try and approach him while he is eating, to really make sure he's okay with me being around. He seemed like he was, but… he bit the owner when he tried that. Something tells me it's not the horses that's the problem, but I gotta rule that out too nonetheless", Amy explained, studying Merlin's behavior. The horse didn't mind Spartan being close to him, but then again there was no food around which seemed to be the root of the problem according to the owner.

She was trying to come up with a safe way to test out her theories because she never wanted to put any horse, or person for that matter, in danger. The whole idea was that the horses had to be pushed to step out of their comfort zone while being safe at the same time.

"Sounds like a plan", Georgie said as they were approaching the barn.

Amy let Georgie and Spartan take the lead as Spartan's stall was in the back and Merlin was in Paint's old stall. Georgie put the bucket down, next to the saddle racks, and continued to the stall. When they were in the stall, Amy started leading Merlin into the barn - but the horse refused. Feeling the pull of the lead, Amy turned around to see what the problem was.

"What is it, boy?" she asked from him, trying to see what was causing him to act this way. Testing carefully, Amy loosened up the lead first and then pulled the lead again, giving Merlin a cue to follow. "Come on, Merlin. Come on", she tried again with an enthusiastic voice, but the horse started pulling his head back with even more force.

"What is it?" Georgie asked after she had gotten Spartan back to his stall and saw Amy struggling to get Merlin to come in the barn.

"I don't know…" Amy murmured as she watched Merlin closely, looking for clues. "Let's try again this again, okay, boy?"

Amy turned around, hoping that whatever had caused Merlin to shy away from the barn door opening had gone away when they tried re-entering the barn. She did a small circle, giving the horse time to relax again.

But as soon as she turned back to the barn, Merlin started to tense up.

"Hey… it's okay. You've been there before", Amy spoke softly as she tried to persuade Merlin to follow her. She pulled the lead gently, but Merlin didn't want to follow her. Instead, he reared a little, jerking his head back and making Amy lose her balance and fall to the ground.

"Amy!" Georgie gasped, rushing toward her aunt who was now coughing out the dust she had breathed in when she fell. Merlin was dragging Amy as she held on to the lead as he took steps backward, not allowing Amy to get her feet under her. He was breathing more deeply now and stomping his feet restlessly. "Are you okay?" Georgie asked as she helped Amy up, brushing off the dust and dirt from her clothes.

"Yeah, he just caught me by surprise", Amy said, looking at the horse and trying not to show any tension in her body even though stuff like this always made her a little annoyed as no one liked being knocked down like that. "What was that, boy?" she asked the horse using a tender tone while she got closer to him again. "You don't wanna go inside, do you? – We can stay outside for a little while longer if you like," she said as she stroked his neck.

She took the lead, leading Merlin further away from the barn.

"How come he's all of a sudden afraid to come inside?" Georgie wondered, looking at how Amy was trying to help Merlin by walking off the anxiety.

"I don't know. Nothing changed", Amy replied, wondering if she should leave Merlin outside even though she usually liked to keep the client horses in the stalls to keep an eye on their behavior and sometimes to keep them from hurting themselves. "It's okay… You're okay…" she kept telling Merlin. She didn't want to admit defeat and even more than that, give more room for whatever Merlin was afraid of. If the horse learned that he could turn away from whatever scared him, it was harder to help him get over that fear. "Georgie, can you get me a scarf from the barn office?"

"A scarf?" Georgie echoed, wondering if she had heard Amy right.

"Yeah, I'll explain when you get back", Amy said, keeping an eye on the horse.

Georgie left for the office to get the scarf, leaving Amy with Merlin. The horse was calmer now, but he was still eyeing the doorway suspiciously. Amy turned her gaze to stare at it too, trying her best to scan for anything that could scare a horse. Whatever it was that had scared him, Amy was hoping to shield from his view with the scarf so she could get him inside.

"Here", Georgie said as she returned with the scarf. "Is this what you meant?"

Amy accepted the scarf. "Yeah, thank you. – Can you take this for a minute?" she asked, handing the lead to Georgie. "I need my hands free."

Georgie stepped on Merlin's side, holding him still while Amy was helping him to relax with T-touch. When the horse looked more at ease, Amy rubbed the scarf against him gently so he would get used to it, the feel of it and the smell of it.

"This is a scarf. It's not gonna hurt ya", Amy told him, "it'll help you to control your fear." She could see his nostrils flaring a bit as he inhaled the smell of the scarf. When it seemed like Merlin didn't mind it, Amy put it on top of Merlin's eyes, letting him get used to it and not focusing so much on seeing but hearing. When it looked like it was not a problem for the horse, Amy tucked the ends gently into the halter around his head.

"You're covering his eyes… Why?" Georgie asked out of confusion. If she thought that if she had been a horse, not seeing would have been her worst nightmare, as a prey animal, horses relied on their sight heavily.

"He might be seeing something that causes him distress and this way I'm blocking it out. Right now he just leans on his ability to hear and smell, so it makes him unaware of the thing that he would be seeing otherwise", Amy explained calmly as she made sure the scarf would stay intact. It had worked before with other horses in very serious situations in the middle of many types of stimulus.

When she was done, Amy took the lead back from Georgie again, asking her to step back out of the way when they entered the barn.

Amy made a low clicking noise, helping Merlin to understand he needed to move. She put pressure on the lead, asking him to follow her. Merlin trusted Amy, but his steps were still unsure. When they got closer to the doorway, the horse started to become aware of it and slowed down, eventually stopping. Amy remained calm, waiting for the horse to regain his confidence and follow her, but instead he kept pulling his head back, refusing to go any farther.

"Come on… I'll keep you safe", Amy replied as she tried to persuade him to follow her. But it didn't work; Merlin kept taking steps back, leaving Amy no other choice than to give up and let him go. She couldn't force a horse to do something just because she knew there was no danger. The horse had to have that feeling too.

"Now what?" Georgie wondered out loud.

"It's not something he sees…" Amy figured, walking Merlin back toward the pen. "It's something else. A smell or a sound…"

"Like what…?" Georgie said, trying to smell what Merlin was smelling as there was no sound that she could tell would be too loud for a horse to bear.

"That's what we are going to find out", Amy replied, taking off Merlin's scarf. She had hoped to narrow down the answers to Merlin's problem, but all she had come up was more questions.


	55. Chapter 55

"Yeah, she's out like a light," Peter whispered as he closed the door to Katie's room. "I guess she's still recovering from everything that has gone on the past few days. Her head hardly hit the pillow before she was sound asleep."

"If only it was always that easy..." Lou hummed, setting the basket aside.

Peter looked at Lou, thinking that he really didn't know much about how hard it was to get Katie to take a nap as he was hardly ever around anymore, but at the same time he knew he would like to be more present in their lives from now on.

Lou sat down on the couch, giving her legs a little rest. "Hey, listen, I would like to talk about that Georgie thing again. I sort of made it all about me back there by the sink", she said, glancing toward the kitchen and realizing she had a habit of doing that a lot, "but I just felt those things coming out and I didn't want to hold them back. I feel like I've done that for too long now... I guess all of this has changed us more than we'd like to admit."

"It's okay, I get it. This thing with Georgie has helped me to realize some things too, and it's good that we can talk about them now - I mean that's what we promised, right?" Peter said, sitting down next to Lou as he turned to face her so they could look each other in the eyes.

"Yeah, we did", Lou agreed, "but the main focus should be the girls right now, so..." she continued, steering the conversation, "I was thinking about the foster families and Georgie, I think that maybe that could be a place to start for her with this... counselling thing. It's something we know has been making her confused and something that could maybe help her figure herself out. What if we ask her to write something down about each foster family? You know, for her mostly, but if she feels comfortable enough to share those with us, she can - and maybe it will help us understand her better as well. Then when we find the perfect counselor, maybe she will have somewhere to start their conversations", Lou looked at Peter after she had presented the idea.

"Yeah, that could be good", Peter agreed, nodding while trying to imagine what kind of stories Georgie would write down. It wasn't that he wanted to be nosy and dig into parts of her life she wanted maybe to forget, but he was worried about his daughter and all the things she had been through. So like Lou, he wanted to be there for Georgie, and for there to be a way to help her move on if there was something in the past that was still affecting her to this day.

At the other end of the couch, Lou kept thinking that even if writing down about her experiences could be beneficial for Georgie, she had conflicting feelings about it too. "Just scary what could come out of it, though..."

Peter looked Lou, still wondering what Georgie had said earlier.

"Actually... to reverse our conversation a little bit about that; to why Georgie seems to think that I have some similar characteristics with that macho foster father of hers", Peter said. It was hard for him to admit, especially because he didn't feel like he was like that, but nonetheless it was Georgie's view and if she had that view, she had it for a reason. It was time for him to look at himself in the mirror.

"What about it...?" Lou asked. "You know that's not true, right?"

As easy as it would have been to just take Lou's words and be done with the conversation, Peter wasn't about to take the easy way out just because he felt uncomfortable. His feeling better about himself wasn't worth it, nor was making his family feel bad about themselves because they might have that opinion of him.

"So you can honestly say that you have never felt like I thought that your life comes second to mine or your job is not as important as mine?" Peter checked, now looking straight at Lou so he wouldn't miss any of the actions that were dead giveaways that a person was not ready to tell the truth or maybe even talk about it. He knew Lou well enough to know that sometimes she was saying one thing while feeling something else.

Lou's mouth wanted to go for a yes, but her eyes hesitated - and that was all Peter needed; Lou couldn't give the answer without playing out, in her mind, how the conversation would continue from there on, and that was not a sign of sincerity. But Peter couldn't put all that on Lou, obviously there had to be a reason why she kept doing that.

"You promised you'd be honest with me, so... be honest with me, Lou", Peter requested, making Lou sigh. "I don't care if you hurt my feelings, I'm not here so you can soothe my ego. I'm here so we can finally know what's going on in this relationship for once. No lies, no hiding, no thinking how to prevent a fight. Because I'm done with that - I feel like you are too - because we just keep going round in circles and nothing ever changes, and it never will if we're not ready to feel a little pain in the process."

Lou looked down, fighting against the urge to deny what Peter was asking of her. But at the same time she agreed that it would be nice to know how they really felt about everything and not just assume that like they usually did. The relationship they had been acting like they were in was not real, to either of them, anymore. She realized how they never talked about things - well, the things that mattered anyway - so the relationship was based on assumptions and the feelings that came from those. But she was finding out that something about how they interacted was much different that now and so she decided to answered Peter's question, honestly.

"If I'd say, that you've never made me feel like that..." Lou started, now looking up, "I would be lying."

Even though Peter had sensed that, her words stung and he felt bad. Not because of himself, but because he didn't know how many times had he made Lou feel that way without meaning to. There were some times that he knew he had done that to her, sometimes even purposely just to hurt her just so he could win a fight and end it, but the times he had left her alone with it were probably the reason why Lou had hesitated - because it never lead anywhere new, no matter what she said.

"I don't know if you can ever forgive me for that, but... I'm sorry. Your work at Maggie's and the Dude Ranch are just as important because they give you meaning in your life, like my job gives to me. - But in conclusion, I'm no better than Georgie's foster father. I've been so blinded by all these things that don't even matter and I've made them my priority and not you, Georgie and Katie. I'm ashamed of myself... I know sorry is not going to cut it, so... I'm want to make some changes, if it's okay with you."

"What does that mean...?" Lou asked, wondering what Peter was talking about.

"Well... I've been thinking about something you've said to me many times", Peter admitted, thinking maybe now it was time to reveal his plans if he really wanted to be honest with Lou. "It's just a start, but I want you to know that I'm seriously looking into - not just considering it - I'll do it if it works out- I'm trying to get a job from Calgary. I know there are some spots available there, but I just don't know what they are yet. They might not be my field, but... I just want to be closer to you, help you out with the everyday life, be present for the girls... I know now after what we have been through that's what matters most to me", Peter confessed.

Lou looked almost shocked as she could not believe what she was hearing.

Peter noticed it too, but kept going. "And I don't want you to feel pressured about it, I'm not going to interfere with your life here, I just wanna be there for when you need me. I'll find a place in Calgary, so you'll still get the space you need."

"But what about what you said about Vancouver? About it being your place to breathe?" Lou asked, carefully.

"I'm beginning to realize that it was never about the city itself. It was just make-believe so I'd feel better about being somewhere else, but the truth is... I was just running from myself. And maybe I still won't feel at ease around Heartland, but at least it's getting better, at least I can talk to you about some things we were never able to have a conversation about without fighting now", he explained. Already he had brought up so many things he had never talked to Lou about over the years and everything was still okay. "So... Vancouver, Calgary, Hudson; it's all the same, it shouldn't matter."

Lou nodded, letting it all settle in.

As it did, her phone rang.

She took her cell phone out of her pocket and picked it up. "Lou Fleming."

Even the drop of Morris in her last name made Peter feel like Lou was ready to move on, and he wanted to give her that chance. Maybe this was too little too late for their partnership as a married couple, but at least he could be a friend for her and more of a father to the girls, and that would be be good enough. After everything they had been through, he couldn't expect Lou to assume that they would get back together just because they were willing to make some changes now.

"Oh, hey. Thank you for getting in touch with me, Dr. Griffin. So, Dr. Virani filled you in about what we're looking for?" As Lou talked, she was looking at Peter with a light in her eyes and it was obvious she was talking to someone important. Peter didn't realize to make the connection as he was still lost in his own thoughts, so he waited for Lou to be done with the phone call. She then got up and walked to the kitchen, still talking to the cell. "Do you have time available next week? - Great, let me just get my calendar and check Georgie's schedule..."


	56. Chapter 56

"Who was that?" Peter asked when Lou was done with the phone call. She looked both nervous and enthusiastic as she fiddled the phone in her hands and replayed the conversation she had just had in her head.

"Uh, Dr. Griffin, a child counselor", Lou told Peter as she returned to the couch. "Dr. Virani had told her about Georgie and thought maybe they could be a good fit", she further explained the connection. "She seemed really nice, so I'm hoping they'll get along."

She knew that Georgie had trouble respecting the authority sometimes, and it would probably be even harder for her now that she was supposed to open up and share her most hurtful memories and thoughts with a stranger - especially since she wasn't too keen on the whole idea of counselling to begin with.

"That's good", Peter commented, hoping that Dr. Griffin would be able to connect with Georgie and help her overcome some of the ghosts of her past. It wouldn't be easy - he knew - to open up to someone, a stranger especially, but sometimes the fact that it wasn't someone who was involved in your life, did help. "So… maybe when Georgie's done working with Amy, we could talk to her? Try to see how she feels about the counselling now?"

"Yeah, sounds good", Lou said. She had a feeling Georgie would still decline, but if she wanted to get back to school, she had to show that she was working on her problems. That, and of course the fact that she really did need some support and help beyond what they were able to give her.

"Listen… there was still something I wanted to talk to you about", Peter began, but before he could continue, the front door opened and in rushed Tim Fleming.

"Where is she? Is she here? Is she in the hospital? Is she okay?" the man shot questions like he had fire under his tail, and it made both Lou and Peter stand up from the couch.

It was strange that for Tim, Katie's accident was still fresh news, while to Lou it had been a complete nightmare for few days now. "Hush!" she told him before he woke Katie up with all his noise. "She's in her room–" was all she could say before Tim was making his way there. Lou followed him, worried that Tim would ruin Katie's nap time. "Don't wake her up!"

But it was useless. The grandfather of Katie was already in her room and scooping the girl into his arms mid-sleep.

"Katie, honey… It's Grandpa", he whispered against her temple as he embraced her in his arms.

Lou stood at the door, angry at Tim for waking Katie up. It was not just the fact that Katie needed her nap, but they were extremely crucial now that she was supposed to relax and take it easy - not to mention Tim's reckless attitude would only make Katie think that something was wrong while everyone else was trying to act more casual even when they still worried underneath.

"Grandpa…?" Katie murmured, still half asleep.

"Yes, I'm here", Tim assured her gently, as he choked back the tears.

Lou understood his concern - Tim adored Katie after all - but the total disrespect of the way Lou and Peter were trying to control her environment for her as she was recuperating, made Lou mad.

"Dad, I need to talk to you", Lou demanded, but it looked like Tim was not even paying attention as he embraced Katie like her life was depending on it. Lou sighed and turned to Peter who was standing next to her. "Can you try to get her back to sleep while I have a talk with my dad?" she asked him.

"Of course", he said, equally frustrated by Tim's behavior, but feeling incapable of doing anything about it. Peter knew that he would never get through to him. Tim had already decided long ago that whatever argument he would have with his son-in-law, he would always win it, or at least walk away believing he was right.

Always. No matter what.

But from the tone of Lou's voice, it seemed like she was going to have a talk with Tim and she was not about to back down easily - if at all - so Peter decided to give her the chance to make things right while he took care of Katie.

Peter knew that it was no use for him to try and reason with Tim Fleming, even though he wanted to say something to show he agreed with Lou no matter what she said. But instead of giving Tim something to make a mess out of by getting into an argument that he would never concede to Peter, he decided to take Lou's request - to focus on his daughter - and get her back to sleep.

Besides, Lou was the one of the few people who ever got through to Tim, so if anyone was going to make him listen, it would have to be her.

"Dad. _Now_ ", Lou insisted. Tim looked at her, frowning as if he didn't understand why Lou was so upset. When he was done pressing a loving kiss on Katie's forehead, he laid her back on the bed.

Getting up, he followed Lou out the door.

"What's with the tone?" Tim asked as he and Lou stepped out of the room. Lou asked him to follow her so they wouldn't have this conversation where Katie could hear them. She was still holding onto "the less stress, the better" attitude.

Tim followed her down the hall, and when they reached the door by Jack's room, Lou turned to face her father, already feeling her muscles beginning to tense up.

"What was that? Didn't you hear when I told you not to wake her up?" Lou asked, gesturing to Katie's room to help Tim remember what had just happened.

She knew the question was useless, as Tim had heard her loud and clear, it was more about wanting to know why he had decided not to listen.

"I heard you, but I just chose to ignore you", Tim admitted, not even ashamed how he was behaving, because in his mind, he had a good reason for it. When he saw the look of astonishment on Lou's face, he felt inclined to explain himself. "The girl had just been in an accident, she almost died! Of course I wanted to see her, hold her, to make sure she was okay. What kind of grandfather do you take me for?"

"Do you think we haven't done everything we could to make sure she's okay? That we haven't been in a hospital - twice - gotten her medication and are doing everything the doctors told us to do to make sure she's okay?" Lou asked, insulted by Tim's patronizing attitude. "You think we would leave her alone if we weren't sure she was okay?"

"I don't know, Lou", he muttered, "didn't she run off to the pond in the first place because you had not made sure she was okay?" Tim said, clearly having no idea how his words would hurt Lou by saying so.

It was not that it wasn't true - Lou knew it - but the way Tim had the nerve to just throw it to her face with no remorse made Lou almost took her breath away.

"Big mistakes were made, I'm not denying that, and I know that without you telling me, but we're fixing the situation the way we see fit", Lou replied in a very tense tone as she tried to hold back her anger and stay calm. She was already mentally exhausted and was going to finish this argument before it blew up as things often did with Tim. The words that came out surprised even Lou, but she was determined to make her father understand where she was coming from. "The first priority, per the doctor's advice, being that Katie is taking naps to rest so she can feel better sooner. But you would have known that if you would have been here–"

Tim scoffed in the middle of Lou's sentence. "I was out of town, how was I supposed to know that she was going to get into an accident while I was–"

"That's not my point!" Lou didn't even give Tim a chance to end his defense as old memories flooded her mind and now she doubled down on getting through to her dad. "The point is, we were here and we are dealing with it, so have some respect for the decisions we've made because we know what we are dealing with!"

"You and the General?" Tim said, smirking in an unkind way as the thought of Peter looking after his family came up. "I'm surprised he's even here…"

Nothing Lou had just said seemed to have stuck with Tim, and not only that, the things Tim said, hit a nerve with Lou, especially after what she had just talked about with Peter earlier.

"No, you don't get to do that", she replied, cutting him off and trying to keep her voice down as she was raising her finger up pointing it in Tim's face, "acting like you're some kind of Dad of the Year, because you never were, no matter what you think. You don't get to sit on some kind of high horse and judge Peter when he's been nothing but a great and loving father to Katie and Georgie, while you were neither great nor loving."

"You turned out okay…" Tim exclaimed, trying not to let Lou's words get under his skin. He figured she was just blowing off steam, as she did quite often nowadays, but she would come to her senses and see it from his point of view.

But there was no let up this time; Lou, as she had with Peter just minutes before, let her emotions do the talking. She was tired of just putting up with everything and giving in to everyone to try and keep the peace. She was going to have her unfiltered say.

"Yeah - no thanks to you. You may think coming back into my and Amy's life's will fix everything you broke, but it never will. It never will", Lou went on, now in tears. Tim was shocked at what he was hearing and for the first time in his life, he seemed to be speechless. "Just because you are my father, doesn't mean you have any right to judge me or Peter as parents, especially after everything you've done - or more like, haven't done. So until you apologize, I want you to get out of here–" She said pointing to the door.

Tim was trying his best to squirm his way out of this by belittling Lou's feelings. "Honey, you're overreacting–"

"I'm really not, Dad. And you would know that if you had ever given someone else besides yourself another thought", Lou said, swallowing down the lump in her throat.

"Okay", Tim was trying to think rationally. "I don't know what has gone down here", he admitted that much, "but clearly we're not just having an argument about me waking up Katie anymore. I don't know where this is all coming from all of a sudden." He squinted his eyes. " What is this about you feeling bad about me not being there? I thought we were done with this long time ago. I'm here, I'm in your life now, so… What's the problem?"

"Maybe I thought I was okay with it, but I know now that I'm not done with it. The fact that you think the past doesn't matter, just shows how little you really understand about me or my life - and maybe that's all on me, I guess I never really felt like letting you in only to have myself disappointed by you and put up a wall and kept you just on the other side of it. Well, that wall just got larger and thicker. Until you do have a clue and can show at least some respect for me and my family, even if you don't know what I feeling, I don't want you in my life. So get out," she said as she opened the door.

Tim was bewildered and needed time to think about this. He stepped out on the porch and Lou closed the door behind him.

She turned around, clearly upset and holding her chest as old memories brought out a flood of what had been hidden feelings. Lou was so caught up in herself, that she didn't even realize someone was watching her. When she heard a floorboard creak, Lou glanced up and saw Peter standing in Katie's doorway with an apologetic look on his face.

"Sorry… It's just that… Katie wants her mommy." It was clear that Peter realized she was upset and felt bad for even asking, but decided it was up to Lou to decide what to do with the information.

Lou picked herself up, buried her emotions - something she had gotten scarily good at lately - and walked to Peter.

"I'll handle it."


	57. Chapter 57

Lou was caressing Katie's soft hair as the little girl breathed soundly next to her. Thankfully she had been able to get her daughter back to asleep, but even though she was now free to do something else, Lou stayed beside her, feeling extremely protective of Katie.

She wasn't sure if it was her own guilt that made her stay with her or the fact that she was making Katie feel safe the way she wished someone had made her feel her safe back when she was younger.

The talk with Tim had made her remember few poignant memories from the past that now felt new again. For years she had suppressed them, not because she wanted to but because she had had to in order to allow herself to function as normal as possible and not just break down when she saw little girls interacting with their fathers. But at the same time her suppression had freed Tim from all the guilt she felt he should have been feeling.

* * *

 _Lou remembered sitting in the back seat of her Mother's truck, holding her tap dancing shoes in her lap as she looked out the window. The performance had been a success; only, one important thing had not gone the way she had planned._

 _When she had looked out at the audience, she had noticed right next to Grandpa, Mom and Amy's seat, there had been an empty seat they had saved for her Dad._

 _"Did he tell you why…?" Lou asked, knowing Grandpa and Mom would know exactly what she was talking about even though the question would have been more relevant when they had come to congratulate her after the performance. Her lingering desire to know why had been tempered by her grandpa's desire to badmouth Tim and her Mother's feelings of wanting to keep him in his daughters' life. She knew that the question would start an argument, still Lou just wished someone had said something about her father's absence._

 _"Dad, please, don't…" Marion had asked when Jack had huffed behind the wheel, clearly feeling the need to tell Lou the truth about what kind of man Tim Fleming really was. She turned her gaze to him for few seconds, pleading Grandpa not to say anything, if only for the sake of Amy who sat next to Lou in the backseat. She was still too young to know or understand what they were talking about and would ask questions she did not want to have to answer. "He had a busy morning, you know how it is", she continued, leaving room for interpretation._

 _But Lou knew exactly what to make of it._

 _When they had arrived at Heartland, Lou had tossed her tap dancing shoes on the floor of the truck and ran to the barn. She had needed someone to listen her thoughts and rants, someone who would understand her pain and who would not make fun of her or change her mind or scold her for it._

 _A horse._

 _"Hey, girl…" Lou said as she stepped inside her horse's stall. The chestnut horse called Bailey shoved her gently with her muzzle. It made Lou smile, but it also helped the release of the tears that had been welling up in her eyes ever since they had left the dancing school. "He did it again… He let me down…" she cried. With horses, she didn't feel the need to recap everything that had happened, as it felt like they understood anyway. "I don't know why I expected more… or why I keep expecting anything else."_

 _Bailey knew about Tim's accident and the fallout as she had heard it all from Lou as she spilled out her thoughts to her. The drugs he abused, the booze he took to wash them down. The mood swings, the fighting with Marion and the explosive arguments with Jack, the things the adults had tried to hide from her, but she had seen and heard about them anyway - it wasn't a big house after all. Bailey knew about every shameful thought that Lou carried within, especially the fact that she was too scared to ride anymore after Tim's rodeo accident._

 _"I quit", Lou said._

 _"You quit what…?" a slurred voice came from the stall next to her. Lou walked up to see who it was, even though she pretty much already knew. On the floor, inside Pegasus' stall, laid Tim Fleming in all his hangover glory._

 _"Dancing, I quit dancing", Lou said bitterly, hoping that would make Tim hurt._

 _"What are you doing that for?" Tim asked from under his hat that was covering his face from the streams of sun coming through the barn windows. "You just gonna quit every hobby you have; first riding, now this?"_

 _"You quit on life, why can't I quit on my hobbies?" Lou said, making Tim peek out from under the hat to see his daughters face and wondering why his daughter would say such a thing. After all she was one of the few, in his mind anyway, who cared if he lived or died anymore._

 _His eyes were red and his pale face was bloated. He reeked of alcohol, and to Lou it was worse than a skunk. The worst part was his voice as it told Lou that Tim had been spending time with a bottle the night before, knowing full well that the next morning he had to be at his daughter's tap dancing performance. The fact that he cared so little about something that meant so much to Lou made her feel like the most insignificant person in the world._

 _Marion, Grandpa and Amy had showed up, but the one person she had needed to show up, her father, had not._

 _"Lou, honey, you know I'm in pain…" Tim replied as he tried to use that to excuse his behavior. "Besides, don't you have that dance performance this week? You can't quit now. I wanna see you dance."_

 _Lou stared at her father, feeling her heart breaking all over again._

 _"Dad… That was this morning. You were supposed to be there with Mom, Grandpa and Amy. You promised!" Lou said as she walked out of Bailey's stall._

 _"Oh, shh– That was today?" Tim said, rubbing his face with his hands. "I'm sorry, honey. I completely forgot. - But hey, you know what", he quickly thought a way out for himself, "I could buy you that saddle you've been wanting. Maybe that'll get you back on a horse. What do you think?"_

 _But Lou couldn't listen to his excuses or attempts to bribe her into forgiving him anymore. The way Tim thought he could just buy her approval and his position as a father disgusted her. And the worst thing was, despite all the hurt and all the pain he put her through, somewhere deep inside, she just wanted his approval. God only knew why._

* * *

Back in the present, Lou heard the door opening slowly. She turned to see who it was and saw that it was Peter. He raised his brows in a questioning manner, and Lou realized he was silently asking about Katie. Lou nodded a little and then got up. When she was sure Katie was asleep, Lou sneaked out of the room.

"Thanks for doing that. I tried, but…" Peter said, shrugging, "I guess she feels Mommy's the best when she's confused", he continued, smiling weakly. He could have been hurt by that truth and if he thought about it, he was too, but he knew he was the only one to blame for that. Him not being around and providing the same level of comfort and safety for Katie as Lou did had taken its toll on his children.

But that was not what was really on Peter's mind. He had heard the end of Lou's argument with Tim and felt like that was the most important think at the moment. "Are you okay…?"

"Yeah…" Lou said, realizing Peter was probably talking about her fight with Tim. "Just exhausted. It feels like just as I'm about to breathe a little easier, something else comes up. And I know the thing with my dad is nothing new, really, but I just… I guess I remember why I was so mad at him when he left. And why I'm such a mess right now."

"I get it", Peter nodded, walking toward the kitchen with Lou. He had seen Tim leave, and had secretly thought it was a good idea for now. If Tim could not respect their family - especially Lou - then he deserved to be gone. Peter knew the chances of him realizing what Lou was going through were slim, but maybe miracles could happen. Maybe withholding Katie's company made Tim realize what was at stake here. Just because he was Georgie and Katie's grandfather, didn't mean he was free to do or say whatever he wanted.

"I just feel so stupid", Lou sighed.

"What, why?" Peter asked, turning to face his wife.

"I just realized what you must have been through all these years. The patronizing. I mean, I knew you don't get along with Dad - or more like he doesn't get along with you - but I finally really realized how little he thinks of you and how that hurts me too. The fact that he doesn't respect you and how he doesn't think I can choose a good man for myself… it's terrible. He's a terrible person", Lou admitted. "And I know that's an awful thing to say about my own dad, but that's just how I feel right now. I've excused his behavior far too long just because I thought I needed his approval or needed him in my life or the girls needed him in their lives, for whatever reason. Like I was somehow… broken if I didn't have a family or give him a chance to be part of mine, but just because we are family, doesn't mean I have to take his toxic behavior. And neither do you", she exclaimed as she looked at Peter. "I know he can be great with the girls, but… who knows what kind of attitudes his actions installs in them, especially if he keeps disrespecting their own father in front of them. That's… unacceptable."

It felt almost like an out of body experience for Peter to hear this. Lou and Tim had always been close because in some ways they thought and acted alike, so Peter had always felt like by marrying Lou, he would just have to deal with Tim's abuse because it was just "something that was the way it was and no one should question it", but now it seemed like Lou had realized that it was not healthy for anyone involved. He was not completely sure what had made Lou realize it, but he was glad she was now beginning to see - not only for his own selfish reasons, but because it appeared as if Tim had kept Lou on some kind of leash too.

Maybe now that she was free to do and feel whatever she wanted, she was heading to a better place too.

"Thank you", Peter wanted to say, then hugging Lou as it felt like the most appropriate way to thank her. He knew that he still had a long way to be part of this family, but this definitely felt like a start to him.


	58. Chapter 58

Later that day, Amy was removing the plastic from the surfaces of the loft. She had put Merlin outside until she could figure out what was causing him so much grief.

Even though she had made some progress with Georgie today, she was now stumped, and she needed something to do. As she took plastic off of another wall, she reflected that it felt like the process was taking them forever, even with the help of Tim and Jack. Amy was trying to do everything she could to help them out. With every person working on the loft having work outside the renovations, the process was slower than it would be with professionals. But it was all worth it. Amy wanted her home with Ty to be something she had made herself with the people she cared about, just like the ranch house had been for her growing up. It was the only way to make her feel like she was at home.

Amy heard someone approaching the stairs, and not soon after, Ty walked inside. He looked around, clearly making sure the fresh paint looked like it was supposed to. Amy felt nervous around him, as they were still not through with their fight from this morning.

"The smell of the paint… is pretty strong. We'll get high from the fumes," Ty commented, walking toward the French balcony. "Why don't we just keep these open for few hours. The weather is pretty great, after all," he suggested, starting to open the latch with the hand that wasn't holding a brown paper bag.

"I tried that, but the bees keep coming inside, so I opened the bathroom window instead," Amy said, stopping Ty. "I need to ask Grandpa to do something about them. They can't just stay there forever, or we'll never be able to use those doors."

Ty looked back at her, feeling like they were having a forced conversation and trying to find an opening to bring things back to the fight that was clearly bothering both of them. Thankfully, he had the perfect segue in his hand.

"I brought you this," Ty said, handing the brown paper bag to Amy. "It's a peace offering."

Amy took the bag from him and noticed the Maggie's logo on the side. She had a pretty good idea what it was, but wasn't sure, so she asked the obvious: "From Maggie's?"

"A bagel," Ty said.

"Tuna…?"

"Of course," Ty said, knowing what was Amy's favorite.

She smiled and took a peek inside. Amy had to admit that this was more than she'd expected from him. The whole day, she'd been afraid that Ty would avoid the conversation they so clearly needed to have, as it was more his style than talking things through, but for him to actually bring it up, even in this disguise, was a step forward.

"You do know we have to talk about it too, right…?" Amy checked.

"I know," Ty said, looking at Amy. "I know you don't want to hear this, but I have my reasons for why I don't want you to get too mixed up with this family stuff."

"But you do realize we're not just talking about any family, but my own?" Amy reminded him.

"I know, but…" Ty sighed, wondering how he was ever going to explain this in a way that would make Amy realize why he was saying it. "I love your family, I really do; I'm so lucky to be a part of it. I just hoped that after we got married, we'd be more focused on our own family, you and I. It's kind of tied to the dream ranch we lost. It was a fixer-upper for sure, but it wasn't just that we lost when we didn't get it; we lost the independence we've slowly been gaining for ourselves. You can't say you've forgotten the times we've been interrupted by someone-accidentally or not so accidentally-and tell me your family hasn't tried to limit our independence."

"Well, no, I haven't forgotten, but… they can't do much about that anymore; we're married now," Amy said. "That's not an issue anymore."

"Exactly. We're finally free to do whatever we want." Ty was hopeful now that Amy had grasped that thought. "Isn't this what we've been fighting for, the freedom to be who we are and do whatever we want?"

"Yes, of course," Amy agreed. "I just don't understand what this has to do with me. You don't think I don't want that as much as you do?" As far as she understood, Ty had a problem with the way Amy engaged with her family. "Because I do."

"I don't know if you do," Ty admitted. Amy frowned. "When you moved out of your room to the trailer, I saw how difficult that was for you. I saw it in your eyes how much it pained you to look at properties that weren't close to Heartland. I know you said you'd like to live close because of your work, but I don't think that's the whole truth."

"Okay, I think I know where you're going with this, but I don't like the way you're making it out to be. You think that just because we're married, I would have to cut all ties to my family? I can't do that, and if you think I can, I don't know who you married."

Ty's voice turned defensive. "I'm not saying you have to. I'm just saying now you have a choice of how much you involve yourself with them. Of course you're still going to work with them; I would think you've changed if you wouldn't. And of course we're going to be part of their lives. We are living in this loft soon, after all." He took a breath and tried to calm down so that he could explain himself clearly. "I was thinking I was making a compromise with you with living here: that it's close to your family, but we still have our own privacy. That whenever there's drama we're not involved in, we can just have this space for ourselves-have our own lives. But I don't know if we made a mistake with that, because you clearly still feel drawn to the drama around here, a drama we're not part of. And I'm worried about that."

Amy got upset again as Ty clearly didn't get it. "But I told you, if Lou's upset, I'm upset because she's my sister-she's my family. Maybe you don't get it because you've never had a family–"

"Don't." Ty hated whenever Amy made him out to be an orphan, when he clearly wasn't, just because their family situations were different. "I do have a family, and that's exactly why I'm saying this to you too. I know what drama can do to a person when people whose responsibility it isn't take the responsibility and lose themselves in the process! If I've learned anything from getting some distance from my family, it's that I'm better off alone or with you. That when I finally have a choice, I choose not to engage with other people's problems because they're not my problem. I know the kind of self-destructive path it took me down, and I don't want that same thing to happen to you."

"But it's different. My situation is different. I'm just trying to help lessen Lou's burden."

"What do you think I did with my mom whenever she had problems with my dad? Or with Wade? Don't you think I tried to help? Don't you think I didn't feel guilty every time I knew something had happened while I'd been gone or knowing that she's still struggling with the same problems as she did when I was younger? Don't you think I didn't feel guilty for not doing anything?" Ty continued, now with a more emotional tone. "I'm willing to bet that you won't get yourself involved with the law if you try to help Lou, like I did when I was trying to keep my mom safe, but I know what kind of emotional hold it can take over you if you let her lean on you too much. As hard as it is, you just have to let some people fight their own battles because they're the only ones who can help themselves in the end. I've tried to help my mom, but it won't get any better until she decides it will. Lou says she's fine, so believe her."

Amy looked at Ty. She wanted to argue but realized she couldn't. Lou had said she was fine, and despite having a hard time right now, she seemed somewhat optimistic about the future even though there were dark clouds above her. "Okay…" Amy said finally. "I get it now."

"Good. I'm not saying this to make your life harder; I'm trying to make it easier. I know you care about her and she's lucky to have you, but… you can't guard her too much, or she'll get too dependent on that."

Amy nodded.

Ty walked closer, opening his arms a little. "Hug?"

She hugged him back, pressing her face against his neck and closing her eyes. This was their first big fight as a married couple, and she'd feared how it would end. Before, they'd been too proud to settle things almost right away; it had often required a break of some kind. But it was good to see that they'd made some progress. Maybe the break last year had been the break to end all breaks.

"Now… you enjoy your bagel. There's something I need to take care of. Is Lou inside the house?" he asked.

"I think so. Why?" Amy said, leaning back to see Ty's face. She wondered if this had something to do with her over-protectiveness.

Ty pulled something out of his pocket and showed it to Amy. "When I was putting on my scrubs this morning, I realized I still had these in my pocket." He showed her the pair of rings he'd found on the bathroom floor when he'd helped Amy clean up the mess after Lou's breakdown. "I think she might want them back."

"Oh, right…" Amy wondered if Lou really did want them back; there was a reason she'd taken them off in the first place. But it was better to let Lou make that decision for herself.

"I'll be back," Ty said, giving Amy a peck on the cheek.

Amy smiled a little and nodded, looking after him. She was relieved they weren't fighting anymore, but at the same time, she felt like her mind needed to be occupied with something else.

Maybe Merlin would now have her full attention.


	59. Chapter 59

Inside the ranch house, Peter was staying in the kitchen while Georgie was being tutored by Adam in the living room. When Adam had arrived, he'd first apologized to Lou that he had had to reschedule and then formally introduced himself to Peter as this had been the first time they'd met face to face.

Peter liked the vibe Adam was giving; he seemed pretty focused and ambitious, which were qualities Georgie could benefit from as well with her school work. Georgie's grades had been slipping for almost a year now, and she needed to focus now more than ever so that she wouldn't fall behind because of her suspension.

The screen door slammed shut and let Peter know that Lou was back from getting the mail. After the fight with Tim, Lou had felt like she needed a breather, and since Jack and Lisa were still at the Dude Ranch and Jack hadn't fetched the mail yet, Lou had decided to get it, giving her time to clear her head a little bit. But what had seemed like a leisurely walk had turned out to be another reason to stress.

"It's a letter from the school," Lou said to Peter, setting the newspaper and bills aside on the table by the doorway while holding onto the formal-looking letter from Georgie's school. "It's probably about the suspension."

"Oh, right," Peter replied.

Georgie couldn't help but overhear them talking about it, and from the corner of her eye, Lou could see that she turned her head toward her as she walked over to Peter.

"What does it say…?" she asked, taking a sudden break from tutoring.

"Haven't opened it yet," Lou said, glancing at Georgie before tearing open the envelope and sliding out the paper inside. Peter looked at Georgie, wondering what her reaction to this would be. It seemed like on some level she was happy not to go to school-what teenager wouldn't have been?- but at the same time, falling behind and not spending time with friends would probably only get harder and harder. Despite being mostly about learning, school was important place to socialize, too, and now that Georgie didn't have her cellphone or her WiFi, she was probably going to feel isolated from her friends.

Lou's eyes browsed the text. "'Reason for the suspension is…"" she muttered as they all knew it already, then continuing with a louder tone, "'Ms. Fleming-Morris has been suspended for 10 days."" Peter and Lou looked at each other and then at Georgie, who seemed conflicted. Lou returned her glance to the paper. "Then there's some information about the right to appeal the suspension and contact information."

"Ten days isn't bad. It could have been worse, considering," Peter figured. He didn't see a reason to appeal the suspension as he realized why the principal had suspended Georgie in the first place. It seemed only fair.

"It also has information about an academic program that will help Georgie keep learning," Lou continued. "'The student is encouraged to participate. The board will develop a program for each student's needs.""

Georgie sighed heavily, making Lou assume that she was beginning to realize what mess had come out of this. Maybe next time she felt like hitting someone, she would think twice.

"So it's not just going to be a ten-day holiday, miss," Lou said as she put the paper back into the envelope.

"Yeah, yeah…" Georgie mumbled.

"Now can we get back to this?" Adam asked, growing restless when he had had to wait. "We don't have much time before I need to be somewhere else."

"Chill. I was only talking to my parents for like two minutes," Georgie said to Adam. She seemed snappy, which made Peter worry about the conversation they would have after Adam left.

Peter gestured Lou closer to the sink with him so that the kids couldn't see them or hear so clearly what they would talk about. "I was about to say earlier that we need to take it easy with Georgie," he said quietly. "She seems hesitant about the counseling, and I can understand why. We need to approach this carefully so we'll at least have a chance."

Lou nodded. "I know. I'm just nervous. I don't know anything about this stuff," she admitted. "But she really needs this; I know it now. Not only because I really think she needs help and support-the kind we can't give to her-but also because she really needs to change the way she acts sometimes or she'll keep on getting into trouble. I don't want this to ruin her childhood or her life."

The memories with her dad and the way Lou realized she had coped with them made her realize she didn't want that kind of burden for Georgie along with the other stuff she was carrying with her. Maybe she herself would be different now too if she'd had someone to talk to and help when she was fifteen and it had all gone downhill for her and her family.

Peter noticed her worried expression. "Don't worry, I'm there. I know I've never been in this situation before from the parent's point of view, but I've been there myself and maybe that'll help me," Peter figured. Lou looked at him, feeling thankful for that now. "I told her about my… thing," he confessed, even though Lou secretly knew he'd told Georgie already.

"How did she take it?" Lou asked because she didn't want to give away that she had been eavesdropping accidentally.

"At first she seemed annoyed, but she came around," Peter said. "I'm hoping that'll help us too."

They heard the screen door open and close again, this time followed by the sound of Ty's motorcycle boots. When Ty located Lou, he opened his mouth but looked hesitant as she was with Peter.

"Hey," he said. "Lou, can we talk?"

"Uh, yeah, sure," Lou said, walking toward Ty. "Outside?" she suggested as she didn't want to make too much noise for Georgie and Adam.

"Sounds good," Ty replied, giving Peter a nod before they stepped outside. He knew this probably looked suspicious, but he didn't know how Peter and Lou were dealing with this, and maybe handing Lou her rings would be bad taste right now.

"So… what's up?" Lou asked.

"Well, I forgot to return these," Ty said, pulling out the rings from his pocket again. "You… dropped them on the floor after you took a bath," he said, knowing it had probably been no accident they hadn't been on Lou's finger at the time, but he wanted to act clueless to save Lou from an explanation.

"Oh… right." Lou had completely forgot about them. "Thanks, Ty." She took them back, feeling a little embarrassed as she was wondering what Ty was thinking about her and the mess she called her life.

But instead of making it a big deal, Ty gave him an empathetic smile and changed the subject a little that things wouldn't get awkward.

"I was talking to Amy about the things that have been happening here," Ty told Lou, feeling like he had to ask more, not just because he wanted to be sure for Amy, but also because he cared about his sister-in-law. "And I was wondering how you were doing."

"I'm okay. Dealing with… all of this," Lou said, not even trying to explain every little problem she was having. "But Peter's been great, you know; I'm glad he's here. He's so great with the girls, not to mention how he's helped me." For some reason, Lou felt like adding that, maybe because she still felt so weird about Ty knowing about the rings, even though he could have known she was no longer wearing them just looking at her left hand. But somehow, this was different and she felt like she was in a limelight, owing him some kind of explanation.

"That's good to hear." Ty felt relieved. It seemed like despite Lou and Peter's separation, they were still a team, not just because they still cared about each other, but also because of the girls. "If you need anything, you can ask," he offered.

"It's okay. We're fine."

"Okay, that's good, then. I guess I'll see you later," Ty replied, backing toward the stairs until Lou stopped him.

"Well, actually, Ty, there is something…" Lou said before she even realized what was coming out of her mouth. "It's about Dad."

"Tim…?" Ty asked, wondering what this was about. Lou nodded. "What about him?"

"It's kind of embarrassing, but… I just figured since I know you've been having problems with your mom, that… maybe you would be few of those people who would get this," Lou said, hoping this wouldn't be weird for Ty. While lying on Katie's bed, Lou had gotten to thinking that Amy was probably too young to remember how Tim's "hazy years" had been for them, but there was still someone who had almost been in her shoes, but from a little different perspective. She realized things were still very touchy for Ty, especially because his mom was back in rehab, but she also knew how compassionate Ty could be and how she probably wouldn't have to explain so much of this pain to him if she wanted to talk about her problem with her dad. "I… I sort of kicked him out of the house just few hours ago."

"Oh…?" Ty replied, walking back to where he had just stood. This didn't seem like Lou; she was maybe the closest to Tim in this family. Something dramatic must have happened for Lou to do that. "What happened?"

"It's kind of a long story," Lou said, hoping she wasn't taking too much of Ty's time. He/d been at work all morning and looked a little worn out, and this probably wasn't how he'd imagined spending his afternoon.

"I'm not in a hurry," Ty said. "Do you wanna sit down?"

"Yeah, sure." Lou nodded, and they then moved to the bench on the porch.


	60. Chapter 60

Lou explained the situation with Tim to Ty and realized that the more she went on, the more teary she got. She felt embarrassed by the outburst of emotions, but thankfully Ty put his hand on her shoulder, trying to make her feel some ease.

It felt good to talk about everything without feeling like the person next to her was judging her family—Ty knew not to do that. Besides, he already knew about Tim's past, so not so much explaining had to be done. While she was talking without the element of embarrassment, Lou realized more fully that she wasn't the one who should carry the shame for the things Tim had done, and it felt ridiculous that she had even thought that in the first place.

"And then I just told him to get out until he starts respecting me and my family," Lou finished, wiping her nose with the side of her hand. "I know I did the right thing, but I feel bad for Katie and Georgie. What if they start asking about him? What can I tell them? I can't tell them the truth about everything, but I don't wanna lie either," she sighed. "And I know this isn't exactly my house, even though I live here; am I allowed to tell him to stay away when it's really Grandpa who's making the call?"

Ty realized Lou was in a tough spot because she had kids to think about, but he felt like maybe that was exactly what she needed to see things more clearly. "Well, if I know Jack at all, I think he'll understand your decision and respect it," he consoled Lou. "You're just looking out for your family; that's not wrong. I think if anyone will understand that, it's Jack. He didn't threaten to remove any part of me that came too close to Amy once upon a time just for kicks." He tried to lighten the mood a little, and it worked as it made Lou chuckle.

"Well, yeah…" Lou nodded, realizing that knowing Jack and Tim's past, Jack would probably take her side very easily as he had seen how little respect Tim could have toward the decisions made in this house.

But Lou realized that by explaining it all to Jack, she might dig out more than what she was bargaining for: Jack's old feuds with Tim and how they had affected the way Lou had looked at her father and counseling as a way to solve problems. Her steps forward were still fragile, and any criticism could set her back.

"I think," Ty said, letting his gaze wander around the yard as he was gathering his thoughts next to Lou, "sometimes you can only see an abusive situation if it's happening to someone else." He knew this from experience. "Like, for example, you've allowed Tim to abuse you mentally for years, but because you're too close to it, you can't see it objectively. But imagine if he did the same to Georgie or Katie—said the same things to them he says to you. Would you allow that?"

Ty would have never had the courage to say this to Lou in the usual setting; he would have feared that he would be the one blamed for something in the end, but it felt like Lou was now more open to this kind of discussion, and he felt like he could offer some perspective from his own point of view—not just because of his own family history but also because he had been abused verbally by Tim for years now.

"Of course not," Lou said readily. "No way." She shook her head.

"Yeah, so…" Ty let Lou come to her own conclusions.

This was the reason why Lou had wanted to talk to Ty in the first place: to get some perspective. "You're right," Lou told him. "I can't let things go on like this, or it'll just keep affecting the girls too. Dad has to take responsibility." She sighed heavily, squeezing her knees to dissolve her tired energy. "I realize it's not just this—the fact that he chose not to listen to me; it's our past too, and that's what makes this even more complicated. I don't think I've really dealt with it, but he thinks I should be over it…"

"These things can be hard to deal with, because it's years' and years' worth of abuse and hurt," Ty said, understanding Lou's pain. "I thought I was over it when I got out of my childhood home, and for a while things were good. I was fine without knowing what was going on with my mom or my dad. But then he came back, and it was like a punch to the gut. It almost felt twice as difficult to deal with," he thought out loud, "maybe because for a while I had known peace and then he was back into my life and dragging the same old stuff with him and it just… he brought them to the one place I didn't need to run from. Maybe it was even worse because of how he got everyone I had come to care about into his mess, leaving the ruins behind him as he fled," he continued, feeling strange talking about his father. "It wasn't just me anymore, but other people too. I felt ashamed for letting him back into my life."

Lou looked at Ty, realizing how much pain he must have always carried with him, but also feeling proud about how far along he had come.

"Not to mention how the wedding invitation to my mom came back in the mail… How she couldn't even attend to the ceremony because she was still battling with the same demons she'd always battled with. I knew she was having problems, but that didn't make it any easier. I don't know why I expected it to be any different, but I guess it's this naivety of a child, you know? No matter how old we get—" Ty looked at Lou, and after getting a nod from her, he went on—"We always have this hope for our parents like we did when we were little kids, and they were our superheroes. We think, maybe this time is different…" Ty hummed. "I wonder how many times I've thought of that… Not one of those times has been different."

"So what do I do? How do I make my dad see what he's about to lose if he doesn't start acting differently?" Lou wanted to know.

"I wish I knew what to tell you," Ty said frankly, "because if I knew, maybe Mom wouldn't be in the rehab anymore. Maybe she would visit me sometimes. Maybe I wouldn't have to be afraid that when Amy and I have a child of our own one day and when my mom is babysitting, I don't have to be afraid of coming home to a crying baby and a passed out grandmother. Or just the fact that she might not even see the day when I become a father…" He felt a lump forming in his throat.

"Hey… she will see that day." Lou could see Ty getting upset, so it was her time to console him. Ty nodded but knew that he couldn't say that for sure. But there was still hope because at least Lily was in rehab.

"Sorry for springing all of this on you," Lou said. "I didn't mean to dig out all of this stuff; I just… don't think Peter really understands. He's never been there; his parents are like the most loving and stable parents there are. And here's me with my dysfunctional family situation… And Amy, she was so young. I know she knows how it feels to live without a father, but I don't think she knows how to live with an alcoholic and mentally abusive father."

"Yeah, I kind of know what you mean," Ty replied, knowing that even if this sounded bad, it was the truth. "It's been hard for her to understand my situation too sometimes. She's getting it more now, but there are times when she says something insensitive and it makes me not want to continue the conversation, but… I guess maybe it's my fault too. I've been sheltering her from my past a lot because I want just this new life with her, not any of this crap from the past."

"Well, that's kind of too bad," Lou replied, "because I'm just starting to really realize that we can't run from the past, and maybe we shouldn't either. The more we run, the heavier the shadow gets and the more people we break. Maybe we should just end the cycle and face the problems that keep chasing us. Maybe I wouldn't be having this problem with my dad if I had just been more strict with him after he got back into our lives and I wouldn't have gotten so charmed by the idea of having a dad again. I mean, what good does having a dad do if he's not even a good dad? But all mistakes seem like that in the retrospect, don't they? We don't know we've made a mistake until we've lived through it."

"I guess so." Ty tried to lighten up the mood a little. "I don't think Jack got to be so wise without making a few mistakes of his own. Just talk to him; he'll understand. He does with me a lot too."

"Yeah," Lou said, nodding. "Thanks for the talk, Ty."

"No problem. And you know, it actually gave me something to think about too," Ty admitted.

"Oh yeah?" Lou smiled a little, feeling better for knowing Ty had gotten something out of this too. He nodded. "Next time it'll be five dollars for opinions, ten dollars for 'Thought of the Day,' and twenty-five dollars for sound advice."

"Okay, Lucy Van Pelt," Ty chuckled as he got up from the bench and started walking back to the barn. "See ya later."

"See ya." Lou looked after him, wondering what had just happened. Had she actually just made a light joke about counseling? _Guess this could be called progress too._


	61. Chapter 61

After a family dinner, Lou and Peter felt like they'd given Georgie time to get over her irritation with the school letter. Even though Georgie could only blame herself for what happened with Olivia, both Lou and were hoping that that irritation would turn into something progressive that would help her change her attitude, and that would hopefully give her the right state of mind so they could reintroduce the idea of counselling. They knew that in order for her to be open to it, the moment had to be calm and the counselling shouldn't have to feel like a punishment for her wrongdoing but rather a solution to something that would help Georgie avoid these kinds of situations in the future.

As Georgie was about to start helping Jack with the dishes, Lou stepped into the kitchen with a bowl that still had some salad from dinner. She handed it to Ty as he was helping Lisa by putting the leftovers into the fridge while Amy was giving the dinner table a swipe. When Peter stepped inside from the porch after taking a call from work, Lou saw that the moment had come.

"Georgie, can we talk to you for a moment...?" Lou asked.

"Uh... but I'm going to do the dishes," Georgie pointed out.

She was expected to take part of the daily chores in the house, just like anyone else, but it was implied that since she was now grounded, she was expected to participate even more; thus she was automatically taking part of the chore of washing the dishes without anyone asking her to.

"I'll be fine," Jack assured her. "Amy will help me."

"Are you sure?" Georgie asked.

She still felt like Jack was mad at her, and she didn't want to make him madder. That aside, Georgie also didn't want to be alone with Lou or Peter right now as they probably wanted to talk about some kind of discipline-related thing, because it was all they talked about to her these days. It was like she was the biggest criminal in history.

"Yeah, I got it," Amy echoed, walking to the sink and taking over Georgie's spot.

She was reading between the lines and knew that this had to be something important that Lou wanted to take care of now, and Amy was keeping her promise to Ty of not getting too involved, but just enough to show her support for Lou's family.

Georgie sighed a little. She couldn't believe she was eager to volunteer to wash dishes in any situation, but in the light of recent events, it almost seemed like the nicest thing to do. "Okay then," she said, handing Amy the sponge and stepping away.

Meanwhile, Lou gave Peter a look that let him know the time had come. Peter quickly followed Lou's cue and turned to glance at Georgie, preparing himself to talk about the counseling.

"Why don't we go to your room to give us some privacy?" he suggested as he put his phone into his pocket and then gestured for Georgie to go first. She started walking toward the stairs, and from the way she carried herself, it was evident to Peter that Georgie wasn't happy about this, but she was going to go along with it anyway because it was probably a better idea than resisting.

Inside the bedroom, Lou and Peter quickly took their places on Georgie's bed, while Georgie was asked to sit down on the chair next to her table. They wanted the setting to be non-threatening, so they had lowered themselves onto her level, which was all part of the psychological side of making this work.

"So..." Lou started and laid something behind her back, wanting to break off the tension, but she didn't really even know what to say. Her eyes went to Peter as he had promised to explain the counseling side of things since he was more familiar with it.

"You know how we've brought up counseling?" Peter said calmly, and even though Georgie didn't actually do it, he could have sworn she was doing an eye roll inside her head.

"Yeah, I know..." she mumbled.

"Well, your mom and I think we should really consider it," Peter said. Georgie sighed but let him speak. "I know it might feel like we're trying to punish you for something or use someone as an ancillary parent. But the truth is, your mom and I feel that we've done everything we can to help you, but there's a certain point where we have to admit that we can't do it all."

Lou nodded along with what he was saying. Peter gave Georgie a brief moment to take that in before he felt it was appropriate to continue.

"And this isn't just what happened at the school, but more like... about your life overall. Now more than ever, we realize we don't know your history fully, and maybe that's not even something you wanna share with us; I don't know. But it doesn't mean that no one should know about it or that you should just ignore it. We understand life hasn't been easy for you, and we want to acknowledge that and help you deal with those things. And while we want to do everything we can to help you now that you're our daughter, we can't just ignore your past and act like those things haven't happened, because it's not going to solve anything. If anything, it'll only make it worse. But hopefully counseling would help you—not because of the suspension, but because we think you deserve the help.

Lou picked up where Peter had left off. "I talked to this counselor who specializes in children, Dr. Griffin, and she seemed very nice. If you like, we could come with you to meet her and see how you feel about her." Georgie remained quiet and looked down. "How does that sound?" Lou wanted to see some reaction

Georgie shrugged. "I guess I don't have a choice..."

Lou and Peter looked at each other. They felt that the situation wasn't exactly ideal, but at the same time, they couldn't have honestly expected Georgie to thank them for this. This apathy was better than Georgie completely refusing counselling. Understandably, she wasn't going to be happy about this, not only because of the stigma attached to it, but also because she probably didn't want to dig up the past again.

But as painful as it was, it was the only way to recovery.

"We were thinking," Lou began and pulled out a notebook from behind her back, "maybe you could try writing down things about your former foster families to get you started. Just who they were and what the dynamic was like. Did they have other children? What did it feel like living in their house? You don't have to show those entries to anyone or talk about anything you write in this notebook if you don't want, but maybe there are some things or aspects you would feel like talking to Dr. Griffin about," she suggested gently. "Or even us, if that feels best for you."

She handed the notebook to Georgie, who accepted it somewhat hesitantly. She opened it and looked at all the empty pages, thinking she was nothing like the empty notebook; inside her were several stories, some good, some... not so much. It all felt like such a long time ago, but at the same time, some things felt like they had happened just yesterday.

"Think about it," Peter pitched in one more time before leaving Georgie by herself to mull over everything that had just been said. The idea wasn't to wear Georgie out by promoting the counseling till she was blue in the face but to give her all the information she needed and then let her do some thinking.

Lou got up as well and slowly retreated to the door, looking at her defeated daughter with the notebook in her hand. "Dr. Griffin agreed to see us next Tuesday. — It'll be okay," she added, hoping she wasn't pushing it, but maybe Georgie could mentally prepare herself for it if she knew what to prepare for and when that would happen.

"All right, we'll give you some space now, honey," Peter said as Lou stepped out of the room and he was ready to pull the door closed behind them. "We love you."

When it seemed like Georgie had nothing to say, Peter closed the door and looked at Lou. They exchanged looks, both unsure if that had gone well or not. At least it hadn't been a complete catastrophe, so maybe that was a win on its own.


	62. Chapter 62

Later that day, Jade paid a visit to Heartland. Now that Georgie wasn't attending school and didn't have a way to communicate with her, they had to do things the traditional way and actually make time for catching up. Even though Georgie had planned to practice her trick-riding, since she had a perfect time slot for it between homework and house chores, Jade didn't mind hanging around and watching her work; she just wanted to see her friend.

Georgie hadn't realized how many things there were to tell now that she couldn't just drop Jade a message whenever she wanted; Jack and her parents still had her phone, so she was beginning to find new-found appreciation for the modern times where you could socialize whenever, even if you were miles away from each other.

"You know what this means, right?" Jade said after Georgie had filled her in about everything that had happened since they'd last seen each other.

"What?" Georgie asked, tightening Checkers's girth.

"You're going to write all kinds of messed up stuff in that notebook and leave it open so that they get a good look and they'll be horrified," Jade proposed. "Serves them right for making you apologize to Olivia!"

On some level, Georgie liked the idea, because she was mad at the situation, but she decided not to do that, if only to avoid them locking her up in some institution, but mostly because she was done making this situation any harder than it had to be.

"Actually… they might have taken me to Olivia's, but… it was me who apologized to her, voluntarily," Georgie shared with Jade, fully aware that she was probably going to sound crazy in her friend's ears.

But this wasn't something she could explain to Jade no matter how much she tried, because Jade would have had to have been there-and even then she might not have understood it.

"Say what now? _You_ apologized to _Olivia Wheaton_? Kid, you gotta get back to school and civilization, or they'll turn your head into complete mush over here!" Jade said, worried about her friend losing her principles. "I mean, are you hearing yourself?"

"I know, believe me, I know," Georgie said, taking Checkers's reins so that she could walk him out to the training ring. Jade followed on the side, completely perplexed. "I still think she shouldn't have said what she did in the bathroom, and I won't ever forget it, but I did apologize for hitting her because I now see that was wrong."

"Well, I think she deserved it…" Jade muttered. "Gosh, your parents are so strict, though. Like, not only are you grounded, but you don't have your phone or your Wi-Fi, and now you have to go to this counselling thing…" She shook her head. "The punishments just keep coming."

Georgie remained silent, not really feeling like talking about this anymore. After her initial info dump, she just wanted to be done with it because she knew she was going to dwell on it for days.

But Jade wasn't done with it, maybe because it was easier for her to play with these thoughts because she wasn't involved with it in any way. "So what kind of stuff are you going to write to that notebook?" she wanted to know when they reached the ring. "We could make up some stuff after this, if you want."

"Don't think I have to make anything up," Georgie said, mounting her horse after she had checked the tack.

"You're not going to write anything, are you?" Jade guessed. It made sense. It wasn't like Lou and Peter could force her to.

Georgie shrugged, looking down from the saddle. "I don't know," she said, collecting the reins. "All I know is that a lot of families are messed up. Let's just leave it at that."

And so, with a click of Georgie's tongue and some pressure on his sides, Checkers was on the move as Georgie started to warm him up.

* * *

Inside the house, Lou was looking at Georgie and Jade through the kitchen window as she was crushing Katie's medicine into her drink like the pharmacist had instructed. Katie was drawing at the kitchen table while Peter was on his phone, checking his e-mail, and looking after their daughter in case she needed anything.

Lou was relieved that Katie's medicine could be crushed as the girl had a hard time swallowing pills. Back in the hospital, the doctors had started the medication through an IV, which was easier in a way, but since Katie was now at home and that wasn't possible, they had to improvise with the pills and this was the way to go.

Thankfully, Katie didn't suspect a thing, and she enjoyed her liquids as if there were nothing to it, so this helped Lou feel better about Katie's healing process. They had a check up at the doctor's in two weeks, and Lou was dedicated to keeping up with the instructions to make sure Katie's condition would improve.

"Okay, Katie, time for your juice," Lou said, bringing the glass to Katie. She gently caressed the girl's hair when Katie placed both of her hands around the glass and began to drink.

"Hey, I gotta head back to the Dude Ranch. There's this work thing I need to take a look at today, and since you don't have Wi-Fi here…" Peter drifted off, getting up from his chair.

"Oh, yeah, of course. Don't worry about it. You take care of that," Lou said, understanding that just because things had happened here, the world didn't stop and work didn't cease to exist for Peter.

"Will you be okay?" Peter checked first. "If you need anything, you know can just call me and I'll be there, right?"

"I know, and thanks for that," Lou replied, feeling relieved that that was now an option. With Peter living in Vancouver, she usually couldn't rely on that. "Oh, hey, I think Lisa said she forgot something at the Dude Ranch and she was going to pick that up. I bet she could give you a lift," she offered.

"Yeah, that would be great," Peter said. "Oh, and hey, I hate to ask this, but since you offer laundry services for guests, and I'm running out of clean clothes, I was wondering if it would be possible for me to wash my clothes here?" Peter felt strange for even asking, because usually he was staying at the main house and things like this were a given, but now that he and Lou were separated, he lived mainly at the Dude Ranch and was more of a guest than family. He couldn't just expect it to be okay-even though he guessed it probably was.

Nevertheless, he felt that it was polite to ask.

Lou sensed the absurdity of the situation as well and wanted to offer some release. "Of course, absolutely," she nodded, "and I can just do that for you, you know; you don't have to worry about it. A guest is a guest; when we offer laundry services for all, we mean it."

Lou smiled, and Peter automatically smiled back, but at the same time he was wondering just how literally Lou was meaning it.

Was he really only a guest now, or was she just saying that because she wanted to be helpful and do his laundry for him?


	63. Chapter 63

The drive back to the trailer was quiet. Ever since Ty had taken back Lou's rings, he'd mostly been living inside his head, and while that could have been just attributed to him being tired after a shift at the clinic, Amy had to make sure there wasn't more to it, especially because she herself still felt a little skittish after their fight. Hopefully Ty wasn't still mad, because she herself was already pretty much over it and that's why she didn't want Ty to feel bad about it anymore either.

"Everything okay with you?" Amy asked casually over the background music.

Ty glanced at her quickly and nodded before bringing his eyes back to the road. He too realized he'd been pretty quiet the whole afternoon, but it was easy to forget when so much was going inside his head.

"Yeah. I guess I'm just tired."

"Okay", Amy said. It wasn't unusual for Ty to be quiet, especially if he was tired, but the fight had made Amy paranoid, as it was almost exceptional that they were back to being okay so fast. This took some time to get used to.

"Actually… there is something," Ty finally admitted after thinking about it for a while.

Amy could almost feel the hair on her neck standing up. She told herself to keep calm and not to stress about anything before she knew what she was dealing with. "What is it…?"

"I was thinking of going to see my mom," Ty said nervously. That tone wasn't unusual for him whenever he was talking about his mother, not that he did that much, but Amy felt like there was more to it.

"Oh? Is everything okay with her?" Amy worried. Maybe Ty had gotten a call about Lily's condition getting worse.

"Yeah, I think so," Ty replied, hoping that was true. He hadn't been in contact with his mother in a while, so he didn't knew for sure, but he assumed he would've heard by now if there was something to know about. "I just haven't seen her in a while."

"Well, I bet she'd love it if you would go to see her. She probably doesn't get many visitors there," Amy said, even though she didn't actually know what Lily's life was like in rehab. It was just her impression that Lily didn't have that many people close to her outside Ty and Wade.

"Probably not," Ty nodded. It almost looked like he was struggling with something, but Amy knew not to push it. This was one of those things where she would have to wait for Ty to bring it up because if she pressured him in any way, he was quick to fold within. "Anyway, I was thinking…" he coughed, trying to get his voice louder, "if you're not too busy… maybe you could come with me."

Amy almost couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Really…?"

She'd offered to go with Ty the last time, but back then Ty had said that it was something he had to do on his own, so Amy had somewhat given up thinking it was ever going to happen.

"Yeah, if you want."

"Of course, I would love to. It's just…" She already felt disappointed that she couldn't just commit to it right away, no matter how much she wanted to. "I'm pretty busy with Merlin now." Amy felt bad for having to refuse the invitation, but at the same time, she had obligations, and since she still hadn't made that much progress with Merlin, the work was piling up the longer time went on. Had she known this a few days ago, maybe things would have been different.

"But you should go," Amy insisted.

"No, it's okay. I'll wait. I want you to come with me…" Ty replied. "Whenever you're ready, we'll go."

Amy felt strange, in a good way; this had never happened before. Usually Ty was pretty protective of his mother even though he knew she and Lily got along just fine. Now Amy sensed that maybe it wasn't really about Lily herself, when it came to her time in rehab, but about the battle she was fighting that Ty didn't feel comfortable enough to share. But for some reason, he'd changed his mind about it and felt Amy was ready to face that with him now.

"Thank you," Amy said gently. "I appreciate it."

She didn't want Ty's gesture to go unnoticed as this was a huge thing not only for her but for him as well.

Ty glanced at her, but since he couldn't just gaze into Amy's eyes while driving, he offered his right hand for her to hold. Amy gave it a little squeeze of reassurance, and they could both feel their breaths getting a little lighter.

* * *

Somewhere close to the Dude Ranch, Peter was sitting in Lisa's Porsche. "Thanks for giving me a lift. I could have just jogged back, but Lou said you were going to go to the Dude Ranch anyway, so…"

"Oh, it's really not a problem," Lisa replied in a friendly manner.

The night was still young, but Peter had to admit he was thankful for saving some time getting driven back because he still had some work-related things that needed to be done today.

"If anything, it gives me an excuse to catch up with you a little bit," Lisa continued after a beat.

She'd been the one who'd introduced Lou and Peter to each other way back when, even though it hadn't originally happened face to face. But despite the current state of Lou and Peter's relationship, she took a little pride knowing she'd successfully made this match happen and it had given them some good times and, most importantly, two beautiful girls she now called her grandchildren.

"Well, I guess you pretty much know what's going on with me, to be honest," Peter admitted, realizing there wasn't much to tell outside of the obvious. He was a work-focused guy in the middle of a separation. "What about you? How you've been?"

"I'm good, thank you," Lisa said, steering her car toward the road that lead to the Dude Ranch. "Couldn't be better."

"That's good to hear," Peter replied, feeling a little jealous of that, but at the same time happy that Lisa had her life in order. "At least one of us has been able to make it work with this family."

Lisa glanced at Peter quickly and got into thinking. There was some truth to his words; even though she didn't know the full scale of Peter's struggle with the Bartlett-Fleming family, there was still a level she could understand and relate to.

"If it makes you feel any better, it hasn't always been like that," she admitted, feeling like maybe Peter would understand this, or at least appreciate an alternative point of view. "And even to this day… I occasionally have doubts about how much of a family member I am. But mostly things are okay."

Peter listened carefully, not only because he understood this, but also because he hadn't witnessed this side of Lisa's life that much. It felt good in a strange way that someone in the family would trust him with something like this despite the topic not being the easiest to talk about.

"Really…?"

"Oh, yes," Lisa replied.

She thought back about her little fight with Jack and about the recent days where she was made to feel like she wasn't part of the inner circle of the family that knew about what was going on in the house and between people. When serious issues came to surface, she was somewhat expected to look after Katie, or when she offered to look after the girl, no one seemed to mind that she was left out because of it. Some news only reached her after quite some time.

Lisa also felt like she couldn't insist knowing about people's lives if they didn't automatically feel like sharing the news with her. Apparently just because she was married to the family, it didn't mean she was family. Maybe the others didn't realize they were keeping her out, but Lisa couldn't deny how hurt she sometimes felt because of it.

She'd made up with Jack after the argument on the porch, and he'd tried to assure her that she had nothing to worry about, but there was still an odd feeling inside her after they'd visited the cemetery and she'd seen Lyndy's stone.

"But… I don't understand. From what I can tell, everyone adores you," Peter had to say, bringing Lisa back to the conversation. "I don't know what Lou and I would do without you."

He was thankful that the girls had someone like Lisa in their lives, because while he and Lou were trying to understand this current situation, Jack and Lisa were always able to offer a constant balance to them as they had mastered stress-control. Lisa was a great role model to the girls.

"Why, thank you. That's nice to hear." Lisa appreciated Peter's sincere words and smiled. "I don't always feel like it- and this isn't me badmouthing Lou, but you probably know it too that we haven't always gotten along, or more like she's felt like I've been trying to step on her toes," she continued, trying to remain as diplomatic as possible. "But we've made some progress; I feel like she's finally started to accept me into the tribe, so… maybe we're getting there," she said, sending the wish to the world. At least she'd never had problems with Peter.

"What about with others…?" Peter asked carefully, hoping he could disguise this as a way to ask about Lisa's experience, even though he just mostly wanted to know if other people outside him had had a hard time getting into this family despite being married to one of its members.

Lisa wondered if the insecurity she was feeling was beginning to show or if this was just Peter trying to stir up casual conversation. She didn't want to make this into a big deal, even though deep down it was a big deal and it did bother her from time to time.

"They've been pretty accepting, slowly," Lisa said lightly, "but there are still times when I realize people are talking to me through Jack, or I'm not an option if someone needs help. I don't know why that is. Maybe they're just so used to doing things in a certain way that they don't feel like changing it because I really can't think how else I would've made it known that I wanna help- that's what I've always wanted."

She parked her car in front of Peter's cabin and unbuckled her seat belt. Lisa hadn't expected this conversation to escalate like this, but maybe it was time for her to talk about it someone.

"I kind of know what you mean," Peter admitted, getting ready to step out as well. "But I guess I never realized how similar our situations could be; I always thought maybe I was an outsider because I was never around. But you've been around- longer than me and more than me -and you still feel that way. Now I don't know how I feel about it…"

Lisa gave Peter some time to process, as he had evidently come face to face with something profound.

Peter shook his head before he continued. "I mean, I knew I had to be at work, and I wanted to be at work, but at the same time, I felt like I was a lousy husband and a father because of it at times-and Lou didn't let me forget it either…" He hummed. "But would things have been any different even if I had been here? I mean, for you they haven't."

"Yeah, that is a mystery," Lisa agreed. There was no way of knowing that, especially because even though their situations were kind of similar, maybe things would have been different for Peter because he'd given children to this family. _Unlike me…_ Lisa thought. She tried to shake that thought out of her mind, because she knew she'd gone down that road already and it didn't lead to anything good. "There's still a chance, isn't there?"

Peter looked down. He didn't know how to feel about his current situation with Lou. One moment he was ready to try again, but then something came along and made him feel like maybe the time had already passed for any kind of reconciliation.

"To be honest…" he said and sighed deeply, "I don't know. I have no idea how Lou is feeling about things right now, and besides, it almost feels like the timing just isn't right to have that kind of talk, you know. We should just focus on Georgie and Katie for the time being and see what happens then."

Lisa couldn't deny that she felt sad about hearing that. Maybe not everyone had thought that Lou and Peter were a good match, but Lisa had always seen the potential, and she still did see it, even to this day.

"You just take it easy," Lisa said, giving Peter's knee a gentle squeeze. "Things will work themselves out."

Peter nodded. He wanted to believe that even if it was hard.

"Now, I gotta get the trash I forgot, and didn't you have some laundry for me to take?" Lisa checked.

"Yeah, I did," Peter confirmed and stepped out of the car.


	64. Chapter 64

Back at Heartland, Lou was already fast asleep. The days went quickly when she had so many things to do and worry about, but now the house was quiet and there wasn't much she could do about anything, so her body had finally given itself permission to crash.

While her body wanted rest, her mind had other plans. The unsolved situation with her father still troubled her, and in her dream, Lou revisited another bad memory from her childhood.

 _In it, she was standing at her doorway, listening to her parents fight in their room (which now belonged to Katie) late at night. Their door was closed, but their voices were so loud that it didn't make any difference whether it was open or not._

 _As she listened to Marion and Tim argue, Lou wondered why didn't she just return to her own bed, which usually offered her comfort and allowed her to muffle the sounds by holding a pillow over her ears. Maybe she was too scared to function or knew that not even her bed could keep her safe from these creeping fears._

 _The fear of the unknown: unknown present and unknown future._

 _Marion and Tim had never fought quite like this before. This was new to her and she didn't like how strange it felt. In some way, Lou wanted to prepare herself for whatever would follow this so that she could fix herself up before she started cracking in the first place. She wouldn't let the fear control her._

 _What Lou hadn't known back then was that they were only few days away from Jack kicking Tim out of the house. Soon the house would become quiet, uncomfortably quiet._

 _"I don't want to have this conversation right now…" Marion said as Lou listened. "I'll go do night check. I need to make sure Pegasus will be all right. There's a storm coming; he hates those."_

 _"Oh, come on, Marion… You can't be serious," Tim replied, his words slurred. "You spend more time with that horse than you do with me! And I'm your husband, damn it."_

 _"You know why? Because you messed him up, so he needs my help! He can't figure himself out on his own," Marion rasped out, but she wasn't done yet. "At least you can help yourself, but you aren't doing anything about it, are you?"_

 _It sounded like a challenge._

 _"What's that supposed to mean…?" Tim asked._

 _"You know what it means…" Marion muttered. "Your self-medication."_

 _"I'm in pain, Marion! Don't you get that?" Tim said loudly. "Can't you accept that not every pain can be healed with your herbs and oils or using T-touch?"_

 _"I can accept that, and I do; I'm not stupid. Those methods do help-not everyone, but they do help; there's proof of that, and you know it. But you can't honestly justify your drug abuse by comparing my remedies to whatever you're doing–"_

 _"Drug abuse?" Tim echoed quickly and huffed. "Don't you think you're overreacting–"_

 _"You're killing yourself!" Marion didn't even wait for Tim to finish. Her voice was full of frustration and exhaustion from keeping things together while Tim was falling apart, and there was a silence that spoke louder than words; apparently Marion had shocked Tim enough to silence him. "I've already lost my mother and I can't bear to lose anyone else… So fix your act before it gets you killed. If you're not going to do it for me or yourself, do it for the girls."_

 _A lump formed into Lou's throat. She'd already feared her dad would die once when his accident had happened, and now Marion was saying they were in danger of losing him again._

 _While Lou was trying to hold back her tears, the door to Amy's bedroom creaked open, and she turned her head toward it. She saw five-year-old Amy peeking from the darkness and rubbing her eyes sleepily._

 _"Lou…? Why are Mommy and Daddy shouting in the middle of the night?" she asked as soon as she saw Lou standing not too far from her._

 _Lou didn't want to explain, because it was her job as a big sister to protect Amy, so instead of saying anything about their parents, she redirected her sister's attention elsewhere._

 _"Come on. Why don't we have a sleepover at your place?" Lou suggested, grabbing her cassette player and headphones with her from her room, then closing the door behind her. She then walked to Amy and gently guided her back to her bedroom. "You can even listen to some music from my cassette player." Lou knew how much Amy would love that._

 _"Really?!"_

 _"Yeah…" Lou promised. She usually didn't lend Amy her portable cassette player because she could break it, but this was an emergency. Whatever it took for Amy not to hear their parents' fights._

"Mommy…?" Katie's sleepy voice cut through Lou's dream.

Lou jolted awake to an upward position, instantly worrying that something bad had happened to Katie. She looked around, wondering if she'd really heard Katie's voice or if it was just a dream, and when her eyes were used to the darkness, she saw the blonde girl next to her bed, holding a little stuffed pony toy in her arms.

"Katie, honey… Is everything okay?" she worried, almost out of breath. and pulled herself to the edge of the bed, closer to her daughter.

"I had a bad dream," Katie said, fiddling her toy.

"Oh, honey…" Lou worried. _I know the feeling…_ she thought. Lou pulled Katie closer so she could hug her better. "It's okay; it was just a dream. Why don't you come to sleep with Mommy?" she suggested, hoping that would help Katie fall back asleep.

"Okay," Katie replied before climbing to Lou's bed. Lou removed the covers so that Katie could get cradled under it.

She adjusted the covers over Katie and inched closer to her daughter, wrapping her arm around her. As she lay there, Lou knew she wouldn't be getting much sleep after the combination of her dream and her worry over Katie. "You're okay now…" she said, caressing Katie back to sleep.

While she was watching Katie's profile in the dark, she could almost see Amy in her and remembered what it was like to hold her back to sleep when she had had nightmares after Tim had been kicked out by Jack.

Even though she and Peter weren't facing the same problems as Marion and Tim had back when she had been just a teenager, Lou still felt guilty for all the fights and all the decisions that had driven them closer to separation. Was she about to make Katie and Georgie feel what she and Amy had felt when Tim had disappeared out of their lives without even saying goodbye? But this was different, right? Peter wasn't going to go anywhere, was he, even if they did get divorced?

Somehow thinking about a divorce in the darkness of the night made Lou feel almost nauseous. How had they ended up here? Had they really tried their all?


	65. Chapter 65

The next morning, Lou was the first one awake-if ten minutes of sleep could be considered sleeping at all. She prepared herself some coffee and then got a head start on the house chores. Usually it was Jack who was the first one up, but Lou had noticed that whenever Lisa was around, he tended to sleep longer, or at least he stayed in bed for longer.

After all the memories and bad thoughts she had wallowed in throughout the night, Lou was happy to do something as simple as laundry. She took out the basket and started sorting out Peter's clothes Lisa had brought in last night. She'd done this chore so many times before, but it felt different now.

As she made sure Peter had nothing in his pockets and all the buttons on his shirts were open, Lou started to recall memories attached to these clothes.

One shirt she'd bought him for a business meeting when he'd met important people he'd needed to impress; he'd done just that, and Lou liked to think that part of it was because of the shirt.

Another one he'd wore to some party they'd gone to and spilled wine on it because someone had had too much to drink and bumped into him. At home, Lou had tried her best tricks to get rid of the stain, and looking at it now, she had done a pretty good job if she said so herself.

As Lou took a sip from her coffee mug and placed it aside, she took another one of Peter's shirts and folded it. There was so little of him here anymore, especially after she'd put his stuff in a box and taken it to the Quonset house a few days ago, just before Katie's accident, that this trace of him felt almost weird now. Lou had thought she'd dealt with these feelings when she'd packed his life into boxes, but seeing his clothes now took her back again.

Pressing the shirt closer to her face, Lou inhaled Peter's scent.

Maybe this felt different because objects were just objects, but clothes… they were more evidently his. Lou had missed pressing her face on the crook of his neck at night and smelling his soap as she gave it a gentle peck. She'd missed the smell of his aftershave when he stopped for a kiss before he rushed off to a meeting or how her hands smelled like his hair wax if she had helped him adjust his hair before a party.

"Oh, you're up." Jack's raspy voice suddenly jolted Lou out of her moment of fantasy as he reached the coffee maker and realized there was fresh coffee in it.

Lou quickly tossed the shirt inside the washing machine and coughed as if to act all natural, even thought in retrospect it only probably made her look more guilty.

"Yeah… Kind of couldn't sleep. Katie crawled in my bed late last night and she kept kicking me." Lou built a lie out of elements of truth; she didn't want to get into the nightmares and memories.

But despite that, there was still something she needed to talk to Jack about, and it had to do with her dad.

"Sorry to hear that," Jack said, knowing Lou had barely slept these last few nights anyway. "I suppose I could watch after Katie for a while if you wanna try and get some sleep?" he offered.

"No, it's okay. I got my coffee and I'm already up, so…" Lou said, turning on the washing machine and then taking her cup with her as she walked to the kitchen from the mudroom. "Listen… There's something I need to tell you."

"Oh?" Jack said, getting himself a cup for the java.

"It's about dad," Lou began nervously.

"What about Tim?" Jack replied. Tim had been gone for over a week now with Casey, but he was supposed to be back any day now.

"He came here last night–"

"Oh, he's back," Jack commented. Lou nodded. "I'm surprised he didn't come over for dinner. I mean, when has he ever passed up the opportunity for a free meal…" he muttered.

"Well, I think it's because of what I'm trying to tell you," Lou said, trying to get her grandfather to focus. Jack made a motion that let Lou know he was sorry for interrupting and that he was now listening. "We sort of... got into an argument yesterday, almost as soon as he arrived. Peter and I had just put Katie down for a nap, and you know how important those naps are for her right now; she needs to have a good routine to get back on track," she explained, and Jack nodded. "But Dad rushed in and insisted on seeing her, so she woke up, and I got mad."

"For Pete's sake…" Jack mumbled to himself and sighed heavily. This didn't surprise him.

"He said that he was just worried, and I get that, but he didn't need to wake Katie up, and just…" Lou took a break to catch her breath. "You know how he is; he ignores what people are telling him. Teflon Tim; nothing is ever his fault."

Jack nodded. "I do know that, very well…"

"Things just started spiraling from there on," Lou continued. "All this stress and everything that's been going on with Peter, I just... snapped. I got mad at him because he never respects anyone here, so I told him to not come back until he does. So... I guess I just wanted you to know that... in case you were wondering-which you just were..." she trailed off, looking like a sad puppy.

Jack set his coffee mug aside without saying another word and took Lou's mug from her as well so he could give his granddaughter a big ol' Grandpa hug.

"You did the right thing," he murmured into Lou's hair. "And I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself and your family."

As she heard the words, Lou felt a tear streaming down her cheek when the relief washed over her. Her hands wrapped themselves around Jack as she closed her eyes and pressed deeper into the hug.

She hadn't known what to expect, but now, in her grandfather's embrace, Lou didn't know why she would have expected anything other than this. Of course Jack understood; of course he would look after her, just like he always had.

For days, she'd carried the weight of the world on her shoulders. But now, in her grandpa's arms, she felt like things were starting to settle.

Maybe everything was going to be all right in the end even if it didn't look like it now.


	66. Chapter 66

After Georgie was done with her school work for the day, she closed her books and piled them on the corner of her desk. Much to her surprise, now that she didn't have that many distractions in the shape of a cell phone and laptop, she was able to focus on the school stuff better and she was done with it before her trick-riding lessons. This would have been impossible in any other time.

And as hard as it was for her to admit, maybe Adam had helped her to understand some things better too. Georgie was hoping that his help would help her with her academic program as well; she was set to have her first time tomorrow and they were supposed to develop a program for her needs. Georgie wasn't looking forward to that, but since it was part of her suspension, there wasn't much she could do about it.

Getting up from her chair, she went to fetch her hairbrush. While doing her tricks, Georgie liked to keep her hair in a braid, and since she hadn't done anything about her locks today, it was time to untangle that mess.

As she sat down on her other desk and put bands around her wrist to be readily available, Georgie noticed the notebook Lou had given her lying on the desk under a pile of paper. Thinking back her brief talk to Jade about it, Georgie was wondering what she was going to do about it. In some way, she'd already decided not to open the Pandora's Box she called her past, but she also kept thinking back what Peter and Lou had said to her.

They thought it would help her, but she'd gotten away from it all, so what was the point of bringing back everything she was trying to put behind her now?

Without meaning to, Georgie went back to one incident in her mind.

 _She remembered watching television with a big bowl of cereal on her lap. It had been a task to find anything clean to eat it from or even a drop of milk to go with it (she had ended up borrowing some from the neighbor), but eventually she'd been so happy to enjoy the cartoons while having the whole apartment to herself._

 _As she was laughing at the cartoons, she distinctly remembered hearing the door open and close, which meant her foster mother had come home from one of her jobs. She was alone now after her husband had dumped her for another woman, so it was just two of them living in this small apartment in Airdrie. The place had always been a mess, but Georgie had gotten used to it. Her foster mother didn't have much energy after trying to juggle three jobs at the same time, so most of the house chores were Georgie's responsibility._

 _After a small pause, Georgie remembered her foster mother's voice reaching her from the doorway of the kitchen. She'd been so focused on the cartoons that she hadn't thought much about it back then, but now thinking back and knowing what would happen next, Georgie realized the strain in her foster mother's voice as she'd spoken._

 _"Georgie… Why haven't you done the dishes? Didn't I ask you to do them?"_

 _"I haven't had the time," Georgie had simply said, getting back to scooping up her cereal. What she'd said hadn't been the exact truth, but she was so tired from school that right now she just wanted to watch some cartoons._

 _"I swear to God… You're the most useless kid there is," the woman had said, walking up to the living room to block her view._

 _"Hey, I was watching that!" Georgie had protested, looking up to her foster mother with furrowed brows._

 _"You are not! You are doing the dishes, NOW!"_

 _"Like hell I am!" Georgie had shouted back._

 _"Language!" the mother had said, giving Georgie a slap on the cheek._

 _Infuriated by the physical contact, Georgie had pushed her foster mother back as an immediate response, making her lose her balance. She had fallen on top of a table but had quickly got up, only to grab Georgie by her hair so she could drag her to the kitchen. "You little brat!"_

 _"Let me go! Let me go!" Georgie had screamed, both angry and hurt by what her foster mother was doing. She tried to hit her with her small fists, but it was no use. When they finally reached the kitchen, the woman had shoved her against the cabinets._

 _"This is my house! If I tell you to do the dishes, you will do them!"_

 _"Screw you!" Georgie had responded._

 _Georgie could still almost feel how much the tug had hurt her scalp. "Excuse me?!" the foster mother had yelled, yanking her by her hair again. "I don't know what I've done to deserve such an ungrateful little b–"_

"Georgie?" Lou's voice came through the door after she had knocked on it. It brought Georgie back to the present, thankfully.

She tried to cover the shaking that was caused by the memories and let her hands fall from her hair when she didn't feel like finishing the braid as she remembered what her foster mother had done to her. It almost physically pained her to touch her hair now, as if it was somehow a connection to that horrible experience.

"Yeah…?"

"Ready for your lessons?" Lou asked, carefully taking a peek inside.

"Uh, not yet," Georgie said. "I just... give me a second." She then gave the hair a quick brush, not minding much about the tangles.

When Lou saw that she was hurrying as if there was a fire under her tail, she walked inside, behind Georgie. "Hey... we're not in a hurry; Amy said she could load Checkers into the trailer." She usually just liked to give Georgie a heads up because it seemed like she would always be late if she wasn't reminded about something. "Hey, why don't I do your hair for you?"

"Oh?" Georgie asked, hesitating.

This was exactly the reason Georgie didn't like to go digging up the past; it only brought bad things back into the light. She knew Lou would never hurt her like her foster mother had, but she was still feeling strange because of the memory.

"Yeah," Lou said, gently taking the brush from Georgie's hand, and she allowed it. "I remember how I used to love when my grandmother did that for me. My mother wasn't really into braiding hair or anything like that, but my grandmother... she had the most delicate hands." There was a warm tone in Lou's voice as she recalled the moments with Lyndy. It made Georgie a little envious; she wished she had memories like that as well. "When she taught me how to do my hair, I passed it along to Amy. And now maybe I can pass a piece of Grandma Bartlett to you as well. She is your great-grandmother, after all."

"Yeah..." Georgie said quietly and looked herself in the mirror as Lou was brushing her hair calmly. She was beginning to realize how easy it was with Lou and Peter, how they never hurt her but did what was in her best interest. It almost felt like she didn't deserve them.

"Your hair has gotten so long," Lou commented as she started to divide the hair into sections. "You planning on growing it out?"

"I d-don't know... I haven't really thought about it," Georgie replied, thinking back to what she'd done after the hair yank incident: she'd found herself a pair of scissors and cut her hair so short, no one could grab it anymore. That, of course, had made people even more confused about whether she was a boy or a girl, but Georgie hadn't cared.

"Well, it's really pretty either way," Lou said, smiling at Georgie in the mirror.

Georgie tried to return the smile, but she still couldn't be completely happy. It was like there was some kind of armor around her again, the kind she'd had when she had come to Heartland.

She then made the decision not to write anything into the notebook if all it would do was make her feel like this.


	67. Chapter 67

Stepping inside the ranch house, Jack could hear random repeated words from the kitchen. He recognized one of the voices as his wife's, but the other was unfamiliar and sounded stoic. Squinting, he walked inside the mudroom to wash his hands after ranch work. From the sink, he saw Lisa ironing his shirts while watching something on the little thing she called an iPad.

She had adjusted the electronic device on the table, right next to the ironing board, so that she was able to view it effortlessly while doing the task. In between the ironing, she did repeated gestures with her hands and murmured the word the iPad had said out loud, as if following some type of instructions.

"Hey, Lis," Jack said as he was washing his hands. "Are those my shirts I'm seeing…?" he asked and took one of the towels from the side to wipe his hands. When he was done, he placed it back.

"Why yes, they are," Lisa confirmed.

"You know you don't have to do that for me, right?" Jack walked inside after removing his boots. Lisa set the iron aside and carefully folded one of Jack's plaid shirts. "I can do that myself."

Lisa laughed. "Oh, I'd love to see that…" she replied, knowing her husband better than that. "You and I both know that you never iron your clothes."

How many times had she been there to try to un-wrinkle his shirt when they were out in public? There was a reason she always looked after his suit whenever they had someplace important to be.

"Well... maybe not," Jack admitted, smiling a little but getting seriously fairly quickly. He didn't want Lisa to think he needed looking after; he appreciated her gesture, but even if they were married, he didn't expect Lisa to do half the things she did-but at the same time, he knew that she just loved to look after the people she loved, so it was often just easier to let her.

"I just don't see the point", he continued, now speaking truthfully. "They're gonna wrinkle anyway."

"Maybe so, but... it's much nicer to have an ironed shirt on, isn't it?" Lisa said, checking what was going on on her iPad. "Besides, you can fit far more shirts in your drawer if they're ironed."

"Well, I can't argue with that," Jack said, walking over to see what Lisa was watching.

There was a woman on the screen, making some kind of signs and then repeating a word. Jack wasn't one to watch television, but if this was the content they had on these days, it seemed he wasn't missing out much. It looked like something he might have watched if he had trouble sleeping.

"And what is happening here?" he asked, pointing to the iPad.

"Well, I'm preparing myself for the Skype call," Lisa answered.

Jack walked up to the cupboard to get the coffee, trying to recall what was Lisa talking about. When he didn't say anything for a long time, Lisa figured he probably didn't understand what she was referring to.

"With Ben. The Skype call with Ben. You remember how I told you he's lost his hearing, right?"

Sometimes Lisa worried if she was supposed to worry about the way Jack forgot things, but thankfully, he soon recalled what was talked about.

"Oh, right," Jack said, remembering how Lisa had mentioned that during their trail ride. Things finally started to make sense for him: the repeated words and signals Lisa was trying to memorize. "So this is you learning sign language?"

"Yes," Lisa replied. "I know I could just type things, but... I figured it might be nicer if I knew how to sign something as well. So I went online and found this app that helps me with the basics."

"I see. And how's that going for you?" Jack asked as he started to prepare himself a cup of coffee. He glanced over his shoulder and watched the screen again.

He was surprised by all the things people were able to find online these days; most of it was junk, he thought, but it seemed like there was actually some helpful stuff in there as well.

"Well..." Lisa turned around and caught Jack's attention. She wasn't too sure about her abilities just yet, but there was one thing she had memorized quite easily, just because of the significance of it. "Watch this."

Jack was watching her as she did a signing of some sort. She pointed herself, then crossed her hands across her chest while holding them in fists and eventually pointed at Jack. Her movements were soft and eloquent; it almost seemed like a dance of some sort to Jack. While doing all of this, she was forming words with her mouth, but didn't utter anything.

"What was that...?" Jack felt a little embarrassed that he had no idea what Lisa had just signed. Lisa giggled mischievously before turning back to her ironing and leaving Jack to ponder it. "Lis...?"

"All I'm saying is, maybe you should get yourself this app too to find out," she said smugly.

What she'd signed to him had been a declaration of love, so there was no harm done by keeping him in suspense. Lisa was secretly hoping that if the arrangement with Ben would work out, the rest of the family would learn a few signs as well to make Ben feel more included.

"It was something bad, wasn't it?" Jack guessed, continuing what he'd been doing. There had to be a reason why she hadn't said it out loud.

Lisa's lips were sealed. "Not gonna tell you. - Oh, it is still all right that I ask Ben, right?"

"Of course. I think it might be nice to see him again, hear what he's been up to," Jack said. "Not to mention, he pretty much knows how things work around here, so that saves the time of teaching him the ropes."

"Yeah, it does," Lisa agreed. "You know, I don't know if I said it yet, but I really appreciate this. Kids get so busy when they're around Ben's age; I feel like I never have enough time to see him or good enough reason to spend some time with him, but this... this is great. It's the perfect way to spend some time together at our home as a family."

Lisa's mind was still on her conversation with Peter. She still felt cautious about making any changes around here or helping to make this place feel more like home, but maybe this was a sign from Jack's side to let her know that it was all right, that she had every right to do those things, because she was family and this was her home.

"I'm glad," Jack said, putting the coffee maker on. "I just hope he says yes."

He walked behind Lisa and wrapped his arms around her body as he leaned over so he could press a gentle kiss on her cheek. Lisa smiled, taking a small break from what she was doing to enjoy her husband's embrace.

 _"I love you,"_ the voice from the screen said before the signing for the expression was shown.

Jack's eyes wandered toward the screen, and as he realized it was the signing Lisa had just done, his face lit up and he smiled warmly. It was as if he had unlocked some type of code.

"Well, I love you too," Jack murmured pleasantly, before they exchange few kisses. Lisa grinned a little, feeling proud of how Jack had been able to figure it out.


	68. Chapter 68

As they drove away from Heartland with Lou, Georgie reflected that the trick-riding lesson was a new type of freedom for her now that she was grounded. Lou and Peter didn't allow her to really leave the ranch otherwise, but since she was part of the Extreme Team, they wanted her to honor that and attend her classes so that she would follow through and learn what it meant to be committed to something.

But at the arena, while checking Checkers's girth, Georgie could sense a strange atmosphere around her. She had been happy to see all her teammates and said her hellos, like she always did, but none of them had responded to that; everyone had just eyed her suspiciously instead. Usually they were on friendly terms with each other, so while Georgie found it strange, she tried to not let it bother her too much because she was not here to chat with her teammates but to learn to improve her skills.

As they were getting the horses warmed up, she couldn't help but notice how all the other girls were whispering and looking at her while shaking their heads. Georgie was not sure what that was about, but since Olivia was not around, she had figured maybe word about her "accident" had gotten out and they knew it had something to do with Georgie.

Usually Georgie was able to turn off all the noise when she was about to perform and just focus on what she was doing, but for some reason, all the whispers were starting to sound loud in her head, and when Sandra asked her to go and perform her trick, she felt she was not going to be any good at it. Not only that, but Georgie could also feel how Checkers was tense and didn't trust Georgie to know what to do.

This was not going to end well, she thought.

* * *

After dropping off Georgie at the arena, Lou decided to go and take a look how things were at Maggie's. She had taken few days off due to Katie's situation, and she still wasn't planning to go back full time before things were completely settled, but talking about commitments to Georgie had made Lou feel like she should practice what she preached.

"Hey, Mara," Lou said as she walked behind the counter and saw the waitress coming back with a platter of dishes. "How's it going here?" she asked, checking the diner schedule to see what was planned for today.

"We're doing fine. It's good to see you, Lou," the woman said, coming to hug her. "How is it going at home?" she asked, concern in her voice.

"Better," Lou told her as she leaned back from the hug. "Katie's back from the hospital, and she's taking this medicine that should help her cope with her condition."

"That's a relief!" Mara replied, smiling. "And how are you doing?"

"Oh!" Lou was surprised by the question, because for obvious reasons the focus had been on Katie for few days, so she hadn't even stopped to really think how she was feeling today. But she figured leaving the house and getting things back on track was a good sign for her, so she said, "I'm okay."

"That's good. And we're good here too, so don't you worry about a thing," Mara tried to assure her.

Lou knew she could trust the staff to helm themselves as they had done this for years now and knew what they needed to do every day in order to make the diner run. Lou was mostly there to make the difficult decisions and give her approval for any changes there might be.

"That's good to hear," Lou said before Mara took the dishes to the kitchen. She eyed the calendar and noticed there were a few hauls that had been scheduled to arrive yesterday. When Mara returned from the kitchen to clean the tables, Lou asked, "Uh, Mara?"

"Yes?"

"I see we had few incoming hauls yesterday; were they taken care of?" Lou checked, since no one had made a mark on the calendar to let her know that it had been looked after.

"Oh, yeah; Tim was here. He signed them off and arranged them on the shelves. Must've forgotten to tell you," Mara replied.

"Oh, right. Okay, thanks," Lou said, letting Mara go on her way.

The mention of Tim's name suddenly made Lou feel weird. She didn't know why she was so surprised about it as Tim partly owned the diner with her, but for some reason-maybe because Tim had been on the road for few weeks now while she had mostly looked after the diner-she hadn't realized that even though Tim wasn't welcome at Heartland until he changed his act, they might bump into each other at Maggie's, and most importantly they would have to helm this business together despite their differences.

Maybe this was one of the reasons people always said it was a bad idea to do business with family. But then again, this dream might never have been realized had Tim not become the silent partner.

She made a mark on the calendar to let everyone know the haul had arrived and it was taken care of, all while wondering what to do with Tim. Eventually she figured that since she wasn't coming back to work for few days, she would have time to think how to approach the situation when it was finally time to face the music.

She then moved on to collect the information about the payrolls so that she could do them at home if needed. As Lou was putting them in her handbag, her phone rang. She dug the cell out to see who it was.

The screen had Georgie's name on it, which Lou found weird, because the girl wasn't supposed to be off for another 45 minutes.

"Hello...?" Lou answered the phone.

Before she could even hear a word, Lou became alerted from the sounds of sniffling.

 _"Mom... Can you... come and pick me up?"_ Georgie's sad voice said from the other end.

"Honey… is everything okay?" Lou worried instantly, already making her way to the door. Georgie wasn't one to cry easily nor did she call her Mom that often, so all kinds of possibilities ran through Lou's head in just a few seconds, especially because trick-riding wasn't the safest hobby anyone could have.

"No... I wanna go home..." Georgie said.

"Okay, I'll be right there. Just stay calm," Lou said, hurrying to the truck.

* * *

When Lou arrived at the arena with Jack's truck, she saw Georgie standing in the yard with Checkers. The horse seemed like he was doing okay, but Georgie was sitting on the bench with her head bowed down. Lou parked the truck quickly and then hurried to Georgie.

"Georgie, honey, what happened?" Lou knelt down on her daughter's level. Her heart had been racing like a wild stallion all the way from the diner to here.

"I just wanna go home," was all Georgie said in a small voice.

"Okay, we'll go home, but are you hurt?" Lou pressed. On the outside, Georgie looked like she wasn't, but who knew what had happened in that arena for her to leave like this. Georgie loved trick-riding; usually Lou had to drag her home from the lesson, but clearly this wasn't the case today.

"No…" Georgie said, hoping Lou wouldn't ask any more questions. She didn't want to talk about it; she was so humiliated already.

"Okay… Let's get Checkers to the trailer. Does Sandra know you're leaving?" Lou checked. When she got a nod from Georgie, Lou stood up and helped Georgie stand up as well. "Whatever it is, it's gonna be okay. Wait here while I hook up the trailer, okay?" Lou checked, getting another nod from her daughter. "I'll be right back."

When Lou left to get the trailer she had parked at the yard just less than half an hour ago, Georgie moved closer to Checkers and buried her face in his mane.

Before she realized, the tears streamed out and her face was fogged from crying. The horse stood there loyally, letting his human release the tension she'd had in her body throughout the short-lived lesson.


	69. Chapter 69

Throughout the drive to Heartland, Lou wanted to ask Georgie what was wrong and what had happened at the trick-riding class, but at the same time, she felt like doing that could make Georgie shut like a clam. The girl was no longer as visibly upset as she had been, but knowing her daughter, Lou could sense that she wasn't over it.

Lou decided to express her concerns because she didn't want to make it seem like she didn't care about what was going on with Georgie, because she did. "You know, honey, if you want to talk about anything-anything at all, you know you can, and your father and I will listen."

"I felt like I was choking..." Georgie uttered, much to Lou's surprise. She hadn't expected her to say anything.

Trying to recover from the surprise, Lou was attempting to comprehend what Georgie had actually said to form some kind of reply. "Choking...?" Lou echoed.

"Yeah, like I couldn't breathe," Georgie said.

Her voice was thin, and it made Lou upset just listening to that. After checking all the mirrors quickly, Lou slowed down and steered the truck and the trailer on the side of the road so that she could fully focus on her daughter.

"Did you have something around your neck?" Lou asked then, unbuckling her seatbelt to see if Georgie was okay physically. She leaned closer to check how tight her jacket collar was.

"No..." Georgie shook her head, somewhat bothered by Lou's touch. "It was like my lungs... didn't work they were supposed to or something."

"But you can breathe okay now, right?" Lou checked. "And you haven't eaten anything strange?"

"Yeah. I'm fine now, just tired," Georgie said, nodding. She felt like it was somewhat stupid to talk about this because she was fine, but it bothered so much and even scared her as her body had never reacted that way to anything. "I really thought I was dying."

Lou was worried on Georgie's behalf, but she tried to remain calm and unravel this mystery. "Were you performing a trick of some kind? Did something press against you?"

"No. I was just riding, and then I couldn't breathe, so I couldn't even do anything. My limbs went limp and I just... I lost all my strength. I jumped off from Checkers and heard people's whispers." Georgie closed her eyes, trying to shut away the memories of the embarrassment. "I don't know what happened."

"Did something happen for you to feel... upset or strange in any way?" Lou asked, gently caressing Georgie's shoulder.

There was a long silence in the truck. Lou would have expected a response immediately if Georgie hadn't had any idea about anything like that, but the longer the silence went on, the surer Lou was that something had happened.

"Georgie...?"

"I just..." Georgie began, crying, "I kept thinking about you and Peter and how I'm such a mess. All I do is cause problems, and I have all this baggage you have to deal with and you don't have any of that with Katie. You didn't just adopt me; you adopted all these problems that come with me, and I feel sorry for you because you didn't realize what you were doing-not really. It would be so much easier if you only had Katie. She's so well behaved, and... she's all your doing, and I'm just a ruin of something so many people tried to raise but they couldn't."

"What?" Lou was shocked that Georgie was even thinking something like this. "No." She shook her head, inching closer. "We love you just the same."

"I know you try, but all I do is disappoint you." Georgie couldn't blame them for that. "I just don't know what to do. I don't know how to be any better than this."

Lou came closer so she could hold her daughter. "You're wrong," she said, pressing her face against Georgie's hair. "We knew what we were in for. Clint filled us in, and he gave us the files that had your history, and we saw your spirit before we adopted you. It didn't scare us; we wanted you as you are," she continued, gently caressing crying Georgie. "Yeah, Katie is biologically our child, but it doesn't mean that she would be any better than you because of it. Just because she's been with us since she was born doesn't mean we would do any better with her than we would do with you. The start of your life might have not been with us, but your future will be, and I hope it'll be the kind of future you would want for yourself. We love you, Georgie. We love you. You make us proud, so proud. Like the way you apologized Olivia-that made me proud, and I'm sure your dad would say the same."

As she was crying, Georgie felt all the pressure she had held within her coming out, and the weight of it all made it harder for her to breathe again. She began to panic. "I... can't breathe..." was all Georgie could say.

"Honey, it's okay," Lou said, leaning back to look at her daughter with determination. "Just inhale through your nose, and then exhale through your lips. Slowly. Take your time."

Georgie followed her instructions even though it was hard to control her crying and her breathing at the same time. But eventually, with Lou's help, she was able to calm herself down a little. Her under-eyes were tingling from the burn of the tears, and her nose needed blowing, but, little by little, her breathing was getting better.

"Here. Try drinking a little water," Lou said, taking out a water bottle she'd packed inside Georgie's bag. After handing it to Georgie, she looked for a tissue so the girl could wipe her nose. "Is this what happened to you at the arena?"

Georgie nodded slowly. "Yeah... though, it wasn't as bad."

"I think you might've had a panic attack," Lou figured. She wasn't unfamiliar with those, but she hadn't realized that even teenagers could get them too. "It happens when your mind and body can't take what's going on."

"Everyone was whispering and eyeing me at the arena like I was some kind of criminal. I think it's because of Olivia," Georgie told Lou, then wiping her nose with the tissue Lou had found in her jacket pocket. "I'm afraid to go back to school if that keeps happening, if I can't breathe."

"If it makes you feel any better, I'll come with you," Lou offered.

Georgie looked at Lou. She was starting her academic program tomorrow, and while Lou's offer sounded tempting and comforting in a way, she also knew she didn't want to draw any more attention to herself than there already was.

"It's okay," Georgie tried to tell Lou-and mostly herself. "I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?" Lou checked.

"Yeah. I mean, I _have_ to be," Georgie replied, as if there was nothing else to it. Something about the way Georgie said it made Lou see herself in her. All the way from being a teenager to this day, she had just had to be fine.

While Lou admired Georgie's bravery, she couldn't help but think just how many times Georgie had told that to herself in situations that would have been improved by someone else's attention, preferably an adult's. This girl had had to be brave and strong because she hadn't always had any other options. It was a tough way to live, Lou knew, and it made Lou fear for Georgie's future.

What if she wasn't able to accept help because it had never been an option for her, so it would never even cross her mind that she didn't always have to do it alone? Would Georgie exhaust herself by living this way?

What about her-was she any better?


	70. Chapter 70

While Lou was taking Georgie to trick-riding practice and checking what was going on with Maggie's, Peter was spending time with Katie and enjoying having more time with his daughter. If Katie's accident hadn't happened, she would be in kindergarten right now and Peter himself would be in Vancouver, but now everything else was put on hold while Katie recovered. As unfortunate as the circumstances were otherwise, Peter was trying to focus on keeping Katie stress-free and himself involved in her hobbies.

Earlier that year, Georgie had begun helping Katie with her riding lessons, and Katie was loving riding Pogie more now. Since he and Lou had decided to keep Katie's routines as normal as possible, Peter had suggested that while Georgie and Lou were out of the house, he could be helping Katie with the riding today. Pogie was a calm horse, and the task itself wasn't too tricky for him to handle, so there really wasn't much to worry about and so Lou and Peter had decided that it would be only good for Katie.

"Let me, let me," Katie insisted when Peter was walking Pogie to the pole to be saddled. Peter handed the lead to his daughter, as it wasn't too much for her to handle.

"Can I help with the brushing?" he asked when they reached the pole, and Katie swung the lead over the pole like she had seen Amy and Georgie do.

"Sure," Katie replied. "You can do that side while I do this side," she instructed. It was clear to Peter that Katie had spent much time in the barn with the older girls and knew what to do. It made Peter smile as he could imagine Katie offering her help with cleaning the stalls and swiping the aisle as she always wanted to be part of whatever the other family members were doing.

"It's been a while since I've done this," Peter commented, taking one of Pogie's brushes from the grooming kit.

Katie looked surprised. "You like horses?!"

"Well, yeah. And not only that, but I can even ride horses," Peter said, somewhat hoping to impress his daughter. He knew that it wasn't much to impress anyone else in this province, but maybe it would be a big deal for his five-year-old.

"I didn't know that", Katie said, taking one of Pogie's brushes as well.

Peter paused for a while to think how come Katie didn't know that, but eventually realized that he never really spent that much time at Heartland these days and even before Katie was born, Peter had only ridden rarely. So it was no wonder Katie didn't know he knew how to ride.

"I was raised on a farm kind of like this, actually," Peter told Katie. "My mom and dad had some cattle, and we had few horses as well."

Katie listened carefully as these were the kind of things that interested her. "Really?"

"Yeah. It was fun," Peter said, smiling. He had nothing but good memories from his childhood.

"Did you have your own horse?" Katie wanted to know.

"Well, kind of. They were all my dad's, but I did ride this one horse quite a lot," Peter told her while brushing Pogie. He hummed when he realized he hadn't thought about the horse for years now, even though he could still vividly remember what he looked like. "He was called Raisin."

"Raisin," Katie giggled. It made Peter smile.

"Yeah, I suppose it's a pretty funny name, but he was kind of a small horse, so that's why the name," Peter explained. "And he was the color of a raisin, too." He'd never really thought about it being funny until now, because he'd just always known the horse to be called Raisin.

"Did your mom heal horses like Amy does?" Katie wanted to know. She didn't realize that a horse whisperer wasn't something every farm had.

"No, nothing like that. She mostly took care of the house and my family," Peter told Katie. "My dad was the cowboy. He also did a lot of things around the house; he's very good with his hands," he continued. "But they don't have cattle anymore, or horses for that matter. They still live on that farm, though."

For a while Peter got to thinking about his family and how he hadn't seen them in a while. They did call each other every now and then, but he never really realized just how long he went without seeing them until his mother called him and asked how he was doing and how she would love it if the girls could come to visit them sometimes.

Peter never knew what to say.

He knew it could be good for the girls to see their other grandparents too every once in a while, especially since Georgie had never even met them, but he somehow feared bringing it up with Lou, more now that they were separated. Not only because the girls were so rooted in here and it took a while to get to Estevan, but also because the last time they had visited his parents, Lou had hated it and she'd made sure he'd known that too. Peter would have wanted Georgie and Katie to love their time at his parents' and not have any kind of negative expectations linked to the whole experience.

But no holiday went by without Mrs. Grace Morris sending some money to the girls so they could have "something nice for themselves." Peter felt guilty and somewhat responsible for keeping his mother and his girls apart, even though it wasn't intentional-life just had a way of being complicated. While his parents had a lot of grandchildren, every child held a special place in their hearts, and Peter knew that his parents loved Katie and Georgie just as much as they loved his siblings' children.

"How come we never see your Mommy and Daddy?" Katie asked next, almost like reading his mind.

"I don't know," Peter said, even though he did know, but that wasn't Katie's concern. "I guess because they live kind of far away. But you did visit them once, actually, when you were just a little baby." He smiled as he recalled it.

It hadn't been fun back then, because Katie had been crying almost non-stop throughout the drive, but now it kind of made Peter smile when he thought about Max slobbering all over Lou and her phone, and them being anything but the perfect family Lou had wanted to appear as. It just went to show that sometimes you couldn't control everything and you still lived through it.

"I did?" Katie asked. She furrowed her brows as if trying to recall that. Peter found it adorable. "I can't remember."

"Well, you were so little it would almost be impossible for you to remember."

"Okay," Katie just said and put her brush away. "Now we have to check Pogie's hooves." She changed the subject and went on being a responsible horse owner.

While watching Katie pick Pogie's hooves, Peter realized just how fast his kids were growing. Being away and then seeing them only for a few days per month didn't really give him the experience he'd hoped to achieve when he'd become a father.

This whole arrangement wasn't really what he'd hoped fatherhood to be, if he was being honest, and he could only blame himself for it. At the moment, he wished nothing more than a job nearer to his family.

These last few days had taught him that every moment was precious, and he couldn't buy more of them with money. So why was he so obsessed earning more?


	71. Chapter 71

Lou drove Jack's truck back to Heartland, and while Georgie still appeared somewhat overwhelmed about what had happened, it seemed like she was slowly gaining back her confidence the closer they got to the ranch.

For Lou, it seemed like Heartland was Georgie's place of safety, a place where she felt like she was in control, and it was good to sense that despite her daughter having some doubts about her being part of the family because she was adopted, there was a need in her for basic human rights-like home-and they as a family could provide her all that.

"Do you need help with Checkers?" Lou asked when she parked the truck in front of the barn. She usually didn't spend time around horses, but she didn't mind them either, especially if that helped her daughter in some way.

"No, it's fine. I feel like I want some time to think through what just happened, if that's okay," Georgie said, almost like asking for permission.

Sensing the need to respect that, Lou nodded. "Of course."

Lou was beginning to understand how important it was for Georgie to have that time to decompress, especially after a new, stressful, and scary situation like she had in the arena, so she was trying to listen what her child was telling was best for her instead of forcing her own way of dealing things. It seemed maybe Peter had been right about talking to Georgie and then giving her time to think it through before she would come to them and explain how she felt.

Slowly, Lou was starting to realize Georgie worked differently than she did; Georgie didn't need that constant reassurance to know things were okay like she herself did. While meaning well, Lou often only made her daughter step away instead of stepping closer. It appeared that knowing that there was this safety net was enough for Georgie, and if Lou wanted to support her growth, she needed to respect the difference in their behavior-even if it didn't come naturally to her.

"I'll be outside if you need me," Lou said before Georgie stepped out of the truck and went for the trailer to unload the horse. Meanwhile, Lou grabbed their things so Jack wouldn't have to worry about taking them with him the next time he needed his truck.

As she finally stepped outside as well, Lou's eyes fixed on Peter and Katie, who were having their riding lessons inside the pen. Katie seemed excited, and to Lou it looked like Peter was enjoying it as well.

"Looking good, honey," Lou praised as she stepped on one of the rails to lean over the fence. Peter smiled at her but also looked a little confused.

He had to inquire. "Back so soon?"

"Something happened at Georgie's classes. I'll tell you after you're done here," Lou explained. She wanted Peter to focus on Katie so they would give both of their girls equal amounts of time without the other girl's problem overshadowing the situations. If the talk in the truck had taught Lou anything, it was that they might have neglected to notice faults in their approaches with Georgie, so they didn't want to repeat them with Katie as well.

"Something to worry about?" Peter had to ask to prepare himself a little.

"A little, but we'll get to that. Don't worry; I would tell you if it was that urgent."

"Okay. Thanks," Peter said, continuing walking next to Katie and her horse. "How was Maggie's? Did you have time to go and check?"

"Uh, yeah, just briefly, but things were running smoothly, as expected." Lou filled Peter in quickly, wondering if she should say something about the Tim part. But who else would she talk about this than to Peter who had the whole context about her fight with her dad? "Mara said my dad had been really helpful ever since he came back home..." Lou finally added, leaving the sentence hanging in the air, almost waiting for Peter's reaction to see if what she was feeling herself was a completely irrational response to the situation.

"You don't think he's trying to sway in your favor, do you?" Peter almost guessed what Lou was thinking.

"It sounds like him, doesn't it?" Lou scoffed, feeling almost guilty for admitting such a thing, but at the same time that was the problem. "I mean, I can't possible be mad at him because then _I_ would seem like the bad guy, right? But it's just so frustrating, because he's always done this; he's always tried to make up for his wrongdoings by doing something good, but it's always something that's completely irrelevant to the reason why I'm mad at him. Like a way of distracting my emotions. He doesn't fix his mistakes; he just tries to sweep them under a rug and hopes we forget them. And it makes me feel so annoyed, because those things will never get solved, and if I dare to drag them out again, _I'm_ the bad guy who should be able to get over it. But I can't, not until those things are solved. I'd be more than happy to 'get over them,' but I just can't."

"Well, you gotta stay strong. You know what you're feeling, and you're seeing it clearly. He's just trying to gaslight you," Peter said.

"Yeah. - Hey, thanks for listening," Lou wanted to say.

"Of course," Peter replied, feeling a little honored that Lou had even talked to him about this, especially knowing how he felt about Tim. But it just showed that Lou trusted him to be mature enough to talk about things without getting his own feelings too involved.

Right now it felt like Lou was seeing things as they were, in a way Peter had seen for years now. Before, Tim had been able to steer Lou away from thinking clearly, and he had been able to somehow make her ignore some things she could have actually found troubling. But now Lou was onto him.

Peter was hoping that this time Tim wouldn't be able to change Lou's mind, not because it would have been nice if Tim actually respected him too, though that would have been a plus, but because Lou and the girls deserved to be honored and not just confused by Tim's mind-tricks. It sounded like Tim had been doing that to Lou for all her life, but she didn't need to be caught in that vicious cycle again.

"Oh, by the way, I have your laundry ready for you inside," Lou recalled as she was trying to bring her mind back from Tim to something else. "If you want to collect them."

"Thanks, I'll take them with me when I go back tot the cabins," Peter said in an appreciating tone. "But I'll stay here a while, if that's all right. We kind of planned to have some ice cream with Katie."

"Oh, you did, did you?" Lou said, then noticing how Katie woke from her concentration when she heard the word ice cream.

"Daddy said we could have some because it's so warm," Katie told Lou enthusiastically.

Lou and Peter exchanged looks. Lou wasn't really mad, but she had a defiant smirk on her face. When Peter tried to look innocent, Lou soon turned her glance away as it was almost getting too intimate in an emotional way to be playful like this with Peter.

"Well, I suppose that could be okay," Lou said.

"Yay!" Katie cheered. Peter grinned happily for his daughter's joy.

Meanwhile, the glance with Peter had made Lou think of a feeling from this morning. She still felt a little bashful because of what she had almost been caught doing that morning when Jack had startled her in the middle of washing Peter's clothes. It was kind of strange, almost awkward, how it was almost forbidden for her to enjoy Peter's scent now, even though some time ago it would have been understandable for a longing wife. But somewhere along the way, they had begun drifting apart mentally and physically, and there was some kind of unwritten rule that they were no longer "supposed to" miss each other the way they had before.

That was the whole point of separation, wasn't it? To be apart so you could eventually have an easier time cutting the ties that bind when you no longer missed the symbiosis of marriage (not that the ties between them would ever be completely cut because they had their girls, but still, for the most part Lou felt like she was supposed to let go).

The whole thought scared Lou a little. Even though there had been a lot of ups and more downs in their relationship, it was still something that was very familiar to her. But at the same time, Lou didn't want to be close with drama, kind of like when Amy had talked to her about her current status in married bliss and how it was hard for her to just be happy.

Who was she going to be without Peter? Had she disappeared into their marriage? What would be left of her if, or more like when, they would write the divorce papers? She would need to rearrange her feelings in a way she had never rearranged them before. She needed to be someone she had never been before; a divorced mother of two.

When you married someone, you rooted yourself in that slowly, but undoing that was much harder to do. The things you had learned to know and love had to leave with all the stuff that had made you divorce in the first place. It would be a hard process to found new life after love.

Would she be able to lose pieces of herself without losing herself completely?


	72. Chapter 72

As the afternoon was fading into evening, Ty drove his truck to Heartland. He was there to do some renovations on the loft after a shift at the clinic and to have dinner with the family before he and Amy would head back to the trailer, where they now lived temporarily. Even if they lived on their own now, the family dinners were still a big part of their daily routine as both Ty and Amy spent a lot of time at the ranch, Amy due to her work with the horses and Ty mostly because of the renovations.

As usual, Amy was working with a horse at the jumping field when Ty arrived-but not just any horse; she was working with Merlin. The young gelding was standing at the center of the ring, and it looked like Amy was massaging him. It appeared that Amy had made at least some progress with him, and Ty couldn't wait to learn more about it. In fact, Merlin was something he wanted to talk to Amy about.

Ty stepped out of his truck and then walked calmly to watch his wife and the horse, climbing up few bars of the ring to see them better.

Amy looked at him, smiling a little. "Hey," she said, gently running her hands through Merlin's coat. "How was work?"

"It was okay, nothing out of the usual," Ty commented, then quickly pointed at the horse next to Amy. "Seems like he's enjoying his stay." Ty smiled a little because Merlin looked like he was about to fall asleep any minute now.

"Yeah," Amy replied and smiled, glancing at the gelding. His eyes were half closed, and his ears were pointing forward, letting them know he was feeling pretty good about himself now.

"I just finished working with him, and let's just say it's been one of those days when I've to check dead-ends to make sure they really are dead-ends. But that's most of the job anyway," she continued, filling Ty in on what she had done today as well. "It seems he really doesn't like me getting near him when he's eating-and before you say anything, don't worry; I had Grandpa there to help me," Amy noted before Ty could say anything. "We didn't make much progress, even though I'm narrowing down what the problem could be, but I thought that instead of leaving this on a bad note, I'd massage him to help him relax and realize I'm not a bad person."

"Seems like it's working," Ty said, getting down from the rails, feeling relieved to know that Amy wasn't working alone with the horses when it came to risky situations. "I know you just said you're making some progress, but I was hoping I could help you, especially to make up for interrupting you yesterday." He still felt bad about making Amy feel like he didn't honor the time when she was working, so to show his appreciation, he had something that might help Amy crack the case of Merlin's trauma.

Amy hooked a lead on Merlin's halter and started to walk him out of the ring. "Oh yeah?"

"I asked Scott if he remembered who took Merlin in when he was taken away from Heartland," Ty said, opening the gate for Amy and Merlin when they were ready to come out. "The good thing about Scott being so hands-on about everything he does is that he did remember Merlin's first owner."

"Really?" Amy sounded excited. She couldn't believe Scott had that information still with him, taking into consideration how many animals he treated and re-homed every year and the fact Merlin had been a client of his years ago. "So, who was it?"

Ty dug something out of his coat pocket and handed it to Amy. It was a wrinkled business card. Amy accepted it from Ty and after, examining it a while, nodded.

"It has a number I could try to call", Amy said, digging out her cellphone from her jeans' pocket. She pressed the numbers and then green phone icon to connect the call. As soon as she placed the phone on her ear, the operator let her know the number was not available. "Maybe I had a wrong number, hold on…" she muttered to herself.

"I could take Merlin off of your hands while you try to call," Ty offered, seeing Amy had her hands full with the horse, the business card, and the phone.

"Oh, thanks. If you could take him to the outdoor stall, that'd be great. He's still stubborn about going into the barn-another problem that needs to be solved..." she said, handing him the lead. Ty followed her instructions and left Amy make the phone call in private.

Usually Amy was able to get some sense of a horse's problem fairly quickly, but with Merlin, there were more questions than there were answers. Hopefully she would be able to contact the previous owner to begin to unravel this mystery that kept getting bigger and bigger. But when she tried to call the number again and again, after checking that it was correct every time, Amy had to admit defeat.

As Ty walked back to her, he was curious for an update. "Anything?"

"No. Seems like the number isn't available anymore," Amy commented. "But there's an address," she continued, looking up at Ty.

He knew that look. "You're not going there alone; I'm coming with you," Ty said right away before Amy could even say anything else. "How far away is it?"

Amy checked the coordinates from a map app on her phone. "About twenty minutes away."

Ty did a little counting in his head after checking his watch. "We could make it there and back before dinner," Ty said as he figured Amy wouldn't wait with this, and if she did it tomorrow, Ty wouldn't be there to go with her since he had to work. So it was better to do it now.

"And if we don't make it back, we'll just eat later," Amy continued.

Her passion for this job was the kind that oftentimes went over the basic needs, like eating or sleeping, and this time was no different. If she knew there was a chance for her to find out what could be the root of Merlin's trauma, everything else could wait.

"Okay, sounds like a plan. Let's go then," Ty said, nodding toward his truck.

He knew the renovations could wait, especially because he wasn't so worried about living in the trailer for a day longer; he'd inhabited the place for years now anyway. Sure, it would have been nice to get a proper home sooner rather than later, but the fact that Tim and Jack were building the place already went to show that they weren't really in a hurry; it wasn't about how fast they would get there but more about how much love would be put into it. Not to mention, he really wanted to be on Amy's side when she was helping a horse that used to mean a lot for them both.

So what was another day in the trailer compared to all that?


	73. Chapter 73

After the twenty-minute drive, Ty and Amy arrived at an old farm that was way past its glory days. The nature on the land looked lush, and Amy could have imagined the garden being very beautiful if it had been looked after properly. Right now, the fences needed mending, the wooden gazebo could have used a new coat of paint, and the forgotten boxes on the side of the garden told a story about bee-farming that no longer took place. The bushes did provide few berries just waiting to be picked, and Amy couldn't help but wonder if anyone even lived here these days.

Maybe they had driven here in vain. But she needed to make sure of it.

Ty parked his truck on the yard, which needed some serious mowing. There was another truck, but it looked like it hadn't moved for days, maybe even weeks, as the grass around it was unharmed. At the back field, Amy spotted a gray horse grazing and scaring away flies with its tail. It didn't seem to mind the visitors.

"Really hope someone's living here, or else we need to check out that horse too," Amy said, walking to Ty's side of the truck and pointing toward the horse. It looked like the horse wasn't doing badly, but it had a bit of a hay belly and could have been exercised more often.

Ty nodded. "Let's find out."

They walked toward the main house, simultaneously studying the surroundings and looking for clues. Amy was trying to imagine if Merlin had been happy here and why he'd been sold in the first place.

After knocking on the door, Ty took a step back on the porch. He looked at his feet, hoping that the boards underneath his shoes wouldn't give in; the floor had been abused by nature for what looked like many years now.

When there was no answer, Amy took her turn knocking. After a while, they heard steps from inside and saw through the curtains on the door that a man was walking toward them. It looked like he was having hard time moving, which possibly explained why the door hadn't been answered more quickly.

"Hello…?" Amy spoke to him through the glass. "My name is Amy Fleming, and this is my husband, Ty Borden." She introduced them so the man wouldn't feel as threatened. He probably didn't expect strangers showing up on his property.

"What do you want?" the man said, speaking very slowly and quietly, as if it was a labor for him to talk.

"We were hoping you could tell us something about a horse we might have in common. Is your name Eric Hilton?" Amy asked, recalling the name from the business card.

"Might be…" the man said, clearly wanting to keep his distance. He kept going, again after a long pause, as if to regain his strength. "What is this horse you're talking about?"

Ty stepped into the conversation. "Well, we know him as Merlin. He used to live in our farm when he was little, and then he was taken here, we assume. My partner, Scott Cardinal, who works as a vet in Hudson, helped us match him with the next owner, and we believe that might be you."

"Merlin…" Mr. Hilton echoed, clearly knowing the name. He then confirmed it. "I knew him."

Amy was relieved. At least she now had something to go on.

"We have some questions about him, and we were hoping maybe you could provide more information," she explained further. "You see, I help horses that have different types of problems they need to overcome, and Merlin's current owner had noticed that he has trouble allowing anyone near him when he's eating. I was wondering if you had that kind of problem with him when he was staying here."

"Oh yes," the man said. "In fact… it's my fault he has that problem." He looked a little sad but also like he was owning up to it.

Ty and Amy glanced each other, having mixed feelings as they realized they might soon know the root of the problem but didn't know if the man had maybe abused the horse in some way since he considered himself to be the cause of Merlin's problems.

"Maybe… we could come inside to talk to you?" Amy suggested; she felt that this type of conversation would not be the kind to have through a door window. At the same time, she tried to keep her mind open, because she didn't want to believe that this man would have hurt Merlin on purpose.

Surely there was more to the story, as there always was.

"You can come in. But I have to apologize; I can't really open the door on my own," Mr. Hilton explained.

"Okay, we're coming in," Ty let him know before he would even touch the door. He felt almost like an intruder for doing this, even though he had the man's permission, but there was just something odd in the air that made him guarded about the man's behavior-and his own, too.

Ty opened the door and let Amy walk in first. She offered the man her hand, but he didn't accept it.

"Uh… Sorry. I have a disease… ASL," Mr. Hilton said, looking apologetic for the way he had to behave as it was not by his own will. "I can't really do much these days. I'm getting worse and worse."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Amy expressed sympathetically, pulling her hand back.

The man nodded but clearly refused to be pitied. He then went on. "It started with my fingers. Couldn't put Merlin's halter on one day, and it's been downhill from there. The disease is affecting my muscles; that's why I can't speak as well either."

"That must be hard," Amy said. Being a physical person herself, it was hard for her to imagine not being able to be around horses because of something you had no control over. She sensed that this man must have loved being with Merlin, and it must have been hard for him to give that up, so already he had won her over in a small way. "Is that why you had to give him up?"

"Yeah… him and the bees," the man nodded. "It just wouldn't have been fair to them."

"Do you live here alone?" Ty asked carefully, wondering how the man was able to get by if he had trouble grabbing things.

"Yes. But my daughter, she lives on the other side of that field with the horse in it, so she comes to see me every day. I want to stay here as long as possible," Mr. Hilton continued. "But that's enough about me," he said, clearly not wanting to make this about himself after explaining the reason for his behavior. "You wanted to talk about Merlin."

"You said you caused his problem. What did you mean by that?" Amy wanted to know, hoping she wasn't opening some type of old wound.

"Like I said… I used to have bees, and Merlin was free to roam around the property since it was gated. One day, a bee stung his muzzle, and I found him with his head swollen. He had hard time trying to breathe, see, and eat. It was terrible; I thought I was going to lose him."

Ty had seen some stings during his career and knew they could be very serious and look really bad too. It was no wonder Mr. Hilton had been so shocked and concerned.

"I called a vet. She gave him some medicine, but of course it didn't help immediately, and Merlin started to lose hope and strength. We had to help him by feeding him; it was through this tube. Of course he hated it. Who wouldn't?" the man said, drifting off as he seemed to think about something else too. "That's when he started to hate me. When he was back to his old self, he had developed such traumas about the whole thing that I had to jump away after handing him his feed bucket because I didn't want to be bitten. He really thought I was going to do it to him again… I didn't know how to fix it, so… I just went on like that."

As hard it was for Amy to hear, it all started to make sense. She looked at Ty, already wondering how she would go about this.

Mr. Hilton noticed Amy's glance and assumed she was judging him. "He was fine otherwise, but… he hated anyone near him during feed time after that," the man added.

"Well, that's a problem we're trying to fix." Amy tried to make Mr. Hilton feel a little better about Merlin's situation by showing that there was hope for him yet. "Besides, you were only trying to help him; it wasn't like you did that to torture him. He wouldn't have made it without your help."

"I guess…" the man said. "But now he's someone else's problem, and it's all because of me. I would have kept him and his problems as long as possible, but… then it became impossible. I couldn't have horses after my diagnosis."

"He has a loving home." Ty wanted to reassure the man since that was what Amy had told him. "They don't think of him as a problem; they just want to help him-as do we. It's not too late for him. Amy works miracles with horses."

The look on the man's face let Ty know maybe Mr. Hilton had not only talked about the horse, but about himself. Ty knew that there was no cure for ASL, and slowly but surely, the man would lose the quality of his life and become "someone else's problem." It seemed like it was hard for him to accept-as it would be for anyone-and he was channeling his own fears through Merlin.

"I will try my best; I promise," Amy said. "Maybe after a while you could come and see him?" she suggested carefully. "I bet he'd be happy to see you."

"I don't know… He has his new life now without me. Maybe it's for the best," Mr. Hilton replied. "Not to mention, I don't really leave this place."

"Just because he has his new life doesn't mean he couldn't be missing you," Ty said. Maybe he was talking about Merlin, maybe he was talking about Mr. Hilton's situation, or maybe he was even talking about his own situation with his mom; there were several ways to take what he'd said. "You must have been close. You must have good memories with him. Just because there was-or is-a problem doesn't mean it would take away all the good you've experienced together."

Mr. Hilton looked at Ty, realizing he knew the levels of what he was talking about. The man then nodded. "I'll think about it."

After Ty and Amy thanked Mr. Hilton for his help and bid their goodbyes, the young couple stepped out again and returned to the truck.

While walking, Ty was lost in thought, and Amy was full of anticipation. As they got inside the vehicle and pulled on their seat belts, Amy had to ask. "What just happened there…?"

"I don't know…" Ty said.

Even Ty had to admit that he was surprised how the situation had unfolded; he hadn't expected Mr. Hilton's personal situation to affect him that way, but maybe his thoughts about his mother were taking more room in his subconscious by the day.

"You know, I may be the Miracle Girl, but you have a gift too," Amy said, staring at Ty with a proud look on her face.

"I do…?" Ty seemed surprised. He wasn't sure what Amy was talking about.

"Yes. You have a way of making people trust you," she continued, leaning in to give Ty a little peck on the lips. "I should know."


	74. Chapter 74

After dinner with Jack, Lisa, Peter, and the girls, Lou sat on the porch while Katie and Georgie played fetch with Remi in the distance and laughed like they didn't have a care in the world.

It felt good to see that, not only because of what Katie had gone through and how this wouldn't have happened if they'd lost their little girl, but also because even though Georgie was feeling anxious about things and unsure of her place in the family, she didn't let it show in her relationship with her little sister.

There was nothing that would have given Lou the impression that Georgie was envious or bitter about Katie's biological heritage-even though it was something that apparently made her insecure. She never channeled her fears onto her little sister, and for Lou, it was touching to see; Georgie knew to be better than that, and she knew it wasn't anyone's fault. Maybe even over time, Lou hoped, she would come to realize that her being adopted wasn't a fault at all.

"Here's your tea," Peter said, walking outside from the house and handing Lou a green mug. Lou accepted it with a quiet "Thanks." Peter sat down next to her with his own cup of tea.

"Look at them," Lou gushed. "You wouldn't know anything would be weighing on them, and I'm glad. Not because I think it's fake, but because despite everything, they have all this joy in them, and they have each other. There's something pure in that."

She knew what she was talking about; even when things had been hard, she'd always had Amy.

"Yeah... I guess we haven't completely failed," Peter hummed. "Though we can't really take the whole credit for that. It seems like despite all the struggles, kids have a way of finding their way out of it, even if it's just for a little while."

Lou brought the mug to her lips and blew on the steaming tea. "Speaking of which..." She saw an opportunity to bring up what had happened with Georgie and decided to tell about it to Peter like she'd promised earlier. "Georgie had two panic attacks today."

"She did?" Peter sounded concerned. He now looked at Lou. "What happened?"

"I think it's the stress about everything, mostly what she's going through, and her own identity," Lou explained. "She thinks she's a burden to us, that we think she's a failure because she causes so much trouble for us. And not only that, but also that Katie is somehow "superior" to her as a daughter because she's our biological child."

"Well, I hope you told her that it's not true," Peter said, even though he knew it wasn't uncommon for adopted children to think this way. But maybe it wasn't all in the fact that Georgie was adopted; there had to be a fault in them too. Maybe they hadn't let Georgie know what she needed to know as well as they could have.

"I did. I said that we're proud of her and we don't regret adopting her because we love her for who she is. Things just happen, whether children are biological or not," Lou continued. She hesitated a little but then decided to voice her feelings anyway, as that was what they were supposed to do now. "Maybe this counseling thing was too radical of a decision..." She was beginning to have doubts now that Georgie was showing signs like this.

Peter shook his head. "It's not too radical; some kind of reaction was to be expected." His eyes drifted off to Georgie, who was tossing a stick to Remi. "The way I think about it is that I don't think this is directly about the counseling itself, because it's for her own good, not for us. I think her reaction is about what she thinks the counseling implies. We need to strengthen our ties with her so she'll believe that we're thinking about her own good. She needs to trust that we make the right decisions for her. No one has done this for her before, so of course she's scared about what this means. Whenever things went wrong before, Clint was called, and she was taken away. I know she's been with us for years now, but feelings like that don't just go away."

"Okay," Lou saw Peter's point. "So... what do you suggest?" She was trying to give this a chance again as it was important that Georgie accept help when she needed it. Her having constant panic attacks wasn't what Lou wanted for her.

"We should spend more time with her, not just because we're her parents, but also because we're all... people. We didn't have her for most of her youth, so we didn't have time to build that bond with her where she comes to us if there's any trouble. Now we've assumed that she will, but she's never learned that, so... we need to teach her that we're here for her," Peter replied, now looking at Lou. "Which actually aligns with something I thought about earlier."

"What was it?" Lou asked before she took a sip.

"Over these last few days I've realized... my kids don't really even know me at all. I'm their father, yet they don't know who I am, where I come from. I'm just someone who provides for them. How are they suppose to trust me when they don't know who to trust?" Peter said. "And I find that sad. I know I'm supposed to be an authority, but it doesn't mean that they shouldn't know who I am, or who they are, because my history is their history as well. I don't wanna keep going on like this. I want them to know about me, and more importantly, I want to know about them. I guess what I'm saying is... I want to be a family, Lou."

"What does that mean?" Lou asked carefully.

It was her understanding that Peter wanted to move on, yet here he was, saying he wanted to be a family. Lou couldn't just agree on something before she knew what she would be saying yes to.

"I know things are complicated with us, and we've made the decision to be separated, so this is not me adding pressure to that decision; this is me wanting to be there for you and the girls, whether we're together or not. Even if we'd get divorced, I don't want to become this distant father for them. I want to be there for them like you are, like all the people here at Heartland are," Peter said. "I'd lost sight of what's really important, but I see it now. I wanna be here, if not physically, then definitely mentally. I don't know what's going to happen with the work thing, but I'm committed to this. I'm committed to you and the girls."

Lou was speechless. It all sounded good, but at the same time it scared her and she had a guess why. Georgie wasn't the only one having a hard time trusting people; she herself had trust issues too. The only constant person in her life had been Jack; everyone else had always left, one way or the other.

Once upon a time, she had believed this would work with Peter, but eventually things had failed. Maybe she'd expected too much from Peter, and as a reaction for the way he had handled things and how he'd appeared to slip away, Lou had tried to take over. That had caused friction and this constant battle for dominance between them.

 _But things had changed now, right? They were talking everything through._

"What made you see it?" Lou had to ask to fully understand how Peter had come to this conclusion.

"Well, I was talking to Katie about horses, and she was surprised when I told her that I know how to ride and I'd lived on a farm when I was a kid. Isn't that something kids usually know about their parents?" Peter said without waiting for a reply. "And I thought about my parents-how they call me and how I never visit them because I'm busy, not to mention how they never get to see the girls. And it made me sad to think about how families can become so distant even when they don't mean to. Why do we keep letting things come between us? Things that really don't matter as much as family itself?" he continued, seemingly passionate about the change.

If Peter was so willing to change something so essential, then why wouldn't she be willing to compromise too, Lou thought. All it took was a little faith. "Okay," she said eventually. "We'll do it. We'll be a family. For real this time. Whether we're together or apart, we'll still be a family."

Peter looked at Lou and smiled. He slowly reached out his hand to put it on top of Lou's hand that rested on her thigh. Lou looked down at their hands, wondering if she should just leave it at that, but the physical contact was something she'd been craving for without realizing just how much, so she flipped her hand around, opening her palm, and took a firmer hold of Peter's hand, hoping that it was okay.

When she brought her eyes back up, Lou noticed Peter looking at the hands with a relieved smile on his face. It was like it was a handshake that confirmed them to be committed to the change, but instead of parting their hands after a while, Lou and Peter sat there, sipping their teas and not letting go.


	75. Chapter 75

_had some problems few weeks ago and it didn't send you notifications from the new chapters - so, please, make sure you've read all the previous chapters too! I think I published three during that time. Thank you for reading!_

* * *

While Lou was getting Katie to bed, Peter decided to go and have a talk with Georgie as the house was settling and everyone was turning in. He wanted her to know that even though they hadn't really talked today, he was still available for anything she wanted. Tomorrow was going to be a big day for Georgie as she returned to the school grounds, and Peter was willing to bet that it was one thing that was adding to his daughter's anxiety.

Inside Georgie's room, she was looking at the picture of her birth parents. She had gotten few photos of her parents from her Aunt Crystal last year, but the one she had always had, the wedding picture of her mother and father, was still her favorite.

Georgie had always thought her birth mother and father seemed so in love and happy on their wedding day. It was cruel to think that the tragedy of her and her brother Jeff losing their parents in a car accident had put the kids' future in jeopardy as well as there was no telling if they would end up having all the things their parents could have offered had they been alive, as the foster system did not always work as well as one would hope-and Georgie knew all about that.

But Jeff was doing okay for himself, and Georgie had eventually found a stable home as well, so as of now, it seemed like despite everything, they had been blessed with love and happiness too, even though it hadn't been an easy road to where they were now.

When she heard a knock on the door, Georgie called the visitor in. Peter walked inside and came to sit on her bed beside her.

"Hey," Peter said, glancing at the picture in Georgie's hands. "What's going on in your mind?" he asked as he assumed that Georgie wasn't just looking at the picture casually, especially after the day she'd just had.

"Well... I was just thinking that... I feel kind of strange looking at them," Georgie said, her eyes on the picture. She rarely talked about her birth parents, even though she did think about them a lot. It was strange how she was bound to them like that. "Like, I can see myself in my dad's eyes and Jeff in my mom's smile, but... I still don't know them. And in a way I feel like I should be missing them, but I don't know how can I miss them when I don't know what to miss. Like, little habits and stuff people usually miss. But I don't know those."

"Yeah, I would imagine that could be kind of difficult," Peter replied, watching the picture. "I know I don't know them either, but I'm extremely thankful for them anyway, because they gave me you." He gently put his hand on Georgie's shoulder, rubbing it a little. The girl looked a little shy about the attention but didn't pull away. "Lou told me what happened today." Peter felt like he wanted to strengthen his words by saying he acknowledged Georgie's struggles.

"It's okay; I'm over it," Georgie said. It seemed like she was a little embarrassed by what had happened and didn't really want to get into it again. If she began to think about it again, who was to say she wouldn't get flashbacks or those horrible attacks again?

"Okay, but if you weren't," Peter wanted to say, just in case, "that would be okay too. You know, panic attacks... they can be scary. But it's not avoiding the issues that keeps them away; it's facing them. So if you ever wanna talk about things, I hope you know you can. Or if there's anything that your mom and I can do to help you face your fears, we'll be there. I'm sorry how things have been lately, or... not just lately, but for a long time. I'm sorry I haven't been around and I haven't let you know how much I love you."

Georgie listened now, taking it all in.

"But I want you to know that I do love you. It never changes. And I want you to know that things are going to change a little bit around here, but for the better, I hope," he added before Georgie would get worried. "I'll be there for you more. And no matter what happens, we are going to be a family-nothing will ever change that," Peter continued. "Okay?"

"Yeah." Georgie nodded a little.

"How about I take you to school tomorrow?" Peter suggested, wanting to start this new phase already. "I'll be here first thing in the morning, and we'll go to school tomorrow."

"You don't have to do that. I can just take a bus," Georgie said even though she was dreading that a little bit. All those whispers from the trick-riding classes were going to be there too.

"I know, but I want to," Peter said. "I've missed out so much, and it's my fault, I know. But I don't wanna miss out anymore. So... can I take you to school tomorrow?"

Georgie thought about it a little while. A part of her just wanted to say yes, but a bigger part wanted to hide her insecurity under something, which is why she said, "It's not can, it's may." Peter looked confused, which made her feel accomplished. "May I take you to school tomorrow?"

Peter laughed. "Okay, Miss Smartypants," he chuckled. "May I take you to school tomorrow?" he tried again.

Georgie grinned a little. "You may." It was a good sign for Peter whenever he could see his daughter's dimples.

"See, you're smart; I know you are", Peter said, getting up from the bed and giving Georgie's hair a little tousle. "You just gotta channel that the right way. And from tomorrow on, you have a chance to prove that. I know you can do it. All right, kiddo. I'll see you in the morning. Have a good night."

"Night," Georgie said, watching as Peter went to the door. She felt a little better even though tomorrow was going to be dreadful without a doubt.

* * *

Lou was sitting on the couch, going through the payrolls after putting Katie down. Her mind was in million places, but she tried her best to still focus on the things that had to be done. Just because she was having a crisis didn't mean her employees had to pay for it-literally.

She heard steps approaching from the attic and watched as Peter walked downstairs. "How was she?" Lou asked.

"She was all right. We had a little talk, and I promised to drive her to school tomorrow. If that's alright with you?" Peter filled Lou in.

"Yeah, yeah, of course. I think that's a good idea," she nodded along, feeling happy that Peter was taking part of the daily life of the ranch. It looked like Peter enjoyed that too. "You can take my truck, if you want; I won't be needing it in the morning."

"That'd be great, thanks," Peter said. They looked at each other, lingering in each other's company, even though they weren't sure what to say or do. _When had they become such strangers_ , Peter thought. "So... anyway. I should probably head back to the cabins," he figured eventually.

"Yeah, okay. You can just take my car; I feel better knowing you don't have to encounter a bear or a cougar on your way there. I would take you, but I really have to get through these payrolls," Lou said, gesturing toward the pile of papers and an open laptop.

"No, no, I get it. Besides, encountering a moose would probably be more likely," Peter remarked.

Lou laughed. "Have you ever met a moose in heat? They're terrifying. Trust me, you'd be praying for a bear or a cougar at that point."

It made Peter laugh a little. "I'll take your word for it. So... where are the keys?"

"Let me–" Lou started talking but then headed to the mudroom as she figured it would be just easier to show Peter. "Here we go," she said when they reached the coat rack and she dug out her keys from her coat pocket and handed them to Peter. "Oh, and before I forget," she was then reminded of Peter's laundry as they were in the mudroom and she had them waiting for him on the bench. "Here are your clothes."

"Oh, right," Peter said as he had already completely forgotten all about them. "Thanks. They smell great," he commented as the faint scent of jasmine reached his nose.

"Yeah," Lou said, blushing a little about how she had preferred the smell before the wash to this. "So... goodnight, I'll see you in the morning."

"See you," Peter said and then backed out of the house through the screen door.

Lou watched as he walked down the porch and went to her SUV. A voice in her was telling her not to get used to feeling like this again, but at the same time Lou had to find the faith to fight. If they were going to be a family, Peter was going to be around more, one way or the other, and she needed to trust that in order to let go of some of her own personal fears and traumas.

She didn't want to be the one to ruin this all, whatever _this_ all was shaping up to be.


	76. Chapter 76

Lou sat on her bed in her night robe, putting lotion on her legs and thinking about this day. It felt to her that lately the days had more hours than 24 as so many things suddenly happened in them. Now, in the silence and comfort of her own bedroom, it almost felt crazy to recall all the changes that had happened in her and her family's life lately, and if she sat there thinking about it too long, she would probably get motion sickness.

But at the same time, knowing that her daughters were asleep and she and Peter had been able to keep them safe for another day felt like a victory. For someone else, it might have been like any other day, but the difficulties they'd faced lately had given Lou some new perspective, and she didn't take these victories for granted.

As she rubbed the rest of her lotion on her arms, Lou heard a knock on the door. She slowly got up, checking the alarm clock on her night table, and wondered who could be behind her door at this hour. Amy and Ty had left for their trailer, and Katie never knocked, so it was probably someone else from the house-maybe Georgie or Grandpa.

Much to her surprise, Lou found Peter behind the door.

"Peter?" Lou said, almost in confusion. The man had left almost over an hour ago, and now for some reason he was back. "Is everything okay?"

"No..." Peter replied, looking like he was in some type of hurry. "I mean, I don't know. I just needed to see you."

"What is it? Come on in," Lou said as she didn't want to wake the whole house.

Peter stepped inside her room, and Lou closed the door behind him. When she was about to turn around, Lou expected him to be walking back and forth between her bed and dresser like a caged animal, which was what he often did when he was nervous, but as she turned to face him, Lou found Peter standing close to her-so close she almost bumped into him.

"Oh..." she murmured, taking a step back closer to the door as it felt somehow inappropriate to stand so close. Peter looked at her intensely, which made Lou feel a little bit weird. Something strange was going on. "Peter, what are you doing here? I thought you were back at the Dude Ranch. Didn't you say you had some work to do?"

"I did," Peter admitted, but he seemed distracted. "But I couldn't stop thinking about you. Being here with you has made me realize how much I've missed you-how much I've missed us."

There was the kind of passion in Peter's voice that Lou didn't hear much these days. It was the kind that stemmed from thoughts that consumed a person. What they were right now, Lou didn't know.

"Okay," Lou said to cut the tension between them, because even though she was seriously confused by this sudden behavior, some of it made her feel something. Hope, perhaps, even though she was still scared to trust that.

"And I just... couldn't focus anything else but you," Peter continued, now looking into Lou's eyes. Lou felt completely captivated by his gaze; it was like he was somehow drawing her in. "It's easy to pretend that I can do what I do and not miss you so much when you're not there, but the truth is, I do miss you. So much. And I just pretend that it's not as difficult to be away from you, but then... when I see you, when I'm reminded everything about you... it's not so easy."

Peter gently brushed Lou's chin, and it made her shiver. He hadn't touched her like this in a long time-Lou didn't even remember when the last time had been-and it sent ripples all over her body, making her weak. She had to lean against the door to get some balance.

 _How bad is my yearning for a touch if all it takes is this for me to be weak at the knees?_ Lou thought.

"Peter, I..." Lou said as the man pressed closer. But she didn't even know what she wanted to say. Part of her just wanted to fight, even though a bigger part of her didn't. She wanted to give into this dizzying feeling.

"You don't feel it? You don't feel this?" Peter asked, now speaking more softly.

Lou couldn't deny there was still something between them, and no matter how separated they were, it couldn't be smothered. "We can't... " Lou tried again, desperately at this point.

"Why not? We're still married," Peter replied.

"Yeah, but-" Lou sighed as Peter started to kiss his way down from her temple. "Things are complicated; you know that. We can't just do this and think it solves anything. We have to talk."

"We can still talk. Doesn't have to change anything," Peter said between the kisses, now reaching the tender skin under Lou's ear. She knew he knew how much she liked that spot. "But we have to get this over with, don't we, before we can even think clearly," he whispered into her ear.

"But you know... it will change... things," Lou said as her eyes pressed closed. She was beginning to lose the control. "And we-I-you..." Her words began to string into sentences that no longer made sense as she was trying to hold onto something to keep her mind clear. But there was no way back. Lou knew all she had to do to stop this would be push Peter away, but why wasn't she doing it?

When Peter softly pushed down the robe from her right shoulder to bare the skin underneath, all while planting kisses on her body, Lou gave up. She didn't want to fight this; she wanted this. She had missed this.

"The hell with talking." Lou brought her hands to both sides of Peter's head so she could pull him into a kiss. Her body was suddenly more alive than it had ever been. All the blood rushing around, the pulse in the center of her . . . she had forgotten how it felt to be wanted, to be needed and to be loved like this.

But when the passion got too much, Lou startled awake. She stared the ceiling above her in the dim light, bathed in her own sweat and breathing heavily. Her body could still feel the response to the dream, the jolts the images gave her.

 _Dream... I was dreaming._

Lou sighed and tossed the covers away. The heat in the room on this warm summer night made things even worse as it her reminded that it was the only warmth she could enjoy on this night. Lou got up from the bed and walked to her window, opening the latches that held it closed and then pushing the lower window up in the hopes of getting some fresh air to cool herself off. A cold shower was probably what she needed right now, but she didn't want to wake the whole house by taking one, so this just had to do.

Lou leaned her moist forehead against the glass and sighed again. She felt embarrassed about having erotic dreams about Peter, even though it made sense that at some point her body would start to demand what it was lacking-touch. But right now she felt like a school girl with a crush, dreaming about someone she couldn't touch, even though that someone was her husband.


	77. Chapter 77

Yawning without dislocating her jaw was Lou's biggest mission this morning. She was already up with Katie, and the girl was eating her breakfast after taking her medicine while Lou was pouring herself some coffee.

Even though she was trying to focus on what she was doing, part of Lou's mind was still thinking about the steamy dream she'd had last night. Her hand kept tracing the spots that dream-Peter had been kissing, as if she could still feel him that way.

Why did she feel so guilty for having that dream? It was just a dream, right?

The screen door creaked open and soon shut. As she was brought back to this moment by the sound, her eyes began to look for something to focus on, and she soon noticed through the window Jack walking toward the barn, most likely getting for the ranch work.

Lisa walked inside. "Morning, Lou," she chimed. "Morning, Katie."

"Good morning, Lisa!" Katie replied cheerfully.

"Morning," Lou also said, smiling at the two. She'd heard faint chatter coming from outside as soon as she had stepped into the kitchen, then realizing Jack and Lisa had been sitting on the porch, enjoying their morning coffee before the daily routine would take over their day.

"I noticed your car isn't in front," Lisa said as she walked in with a pair of empty green cups.

"Oh, yeah, Peter's borrowing it. Makes it easier for him to come and go to the Dude Ranch while he's here," Lou explained, hoping that the mention of Peter didn't make her blush as the memories flooded back along with his name. It was embarrassing how she was almost unable to control it. If just thinking about him made her feel this weird, how could she face him?

"Makes sense," Lisa said, putting the cups into the sink and then glancing at Lou. "Oh, honey, what's happened to your neck?" she asked when she noticed a rash on Lou's skin.

Lou suddenly felt weird with the focus that was on her neck, as if Lisa was somehow sensing what was on her mind. "What do you mean?" she asked nervously, checking her neck in her reflection on a steel boiler cover.

"It looks like you have a rash. Have you been scratching it?" Lisa asked, already thinking what could help with it.

"Oh…" Lou replied, realizing she must have been unconsciously touching it too much. "Must be the perfume I used," she lied, hoping Lisa would just drop it.

"Better not use that again, then."

Lou hummed. "Yeah..."

"Mommy, what's a pre-fume?" Katie asked as she bit into a slice of apple.

"Perfume," Lou corrected her and then walked to the table. "It's something people put on themselves to make them smell nice."

"Like flowers?" the little girl assumed.

Lou smiled. "Yeah, like flowers." She took a seat next to her daughter.

"Hey, I'm going to run some errands," Lisa said while checking the fridge to make a quick inventory so she would know what to get from the grocery store. "Do you need anything from town?"

"No, I think we're good. I'm just going to stay home today; I actually asked my friend Vanessa over. Her son Abraham has been dying to see the ranch animals, and I figured I could ask them to visit today," Lou told Lisa.

"Abraham is coming here?" Katie got excited at the mention of her friend's name.

"Yeah, you two can play together while mommies talk," Lou confirmed, smiling at Katie's enthusiasm. She was thinking of putting Katie back into kindergarten within a few days, so being around Abraham and doing all the things kids did was sort of a test run to see if she was ready for it.

"Sounds lovely. Are Vanessa and Abraham staying for dinner?" Lisa asked.

"Uh, maybe, I don't know; I have to ask," Lou replied. Seeing Katie play with Abraham wasn't her only agenda for the play date; she also really wanted to talk to Vanessa. The single mother was almost in the same spot as she was, and she'd probably gone through the same steps she was going through now, so Lou really wanted to know if what she was experiencing was typical. As Lou began picturing her on the dinner table with all of them, she realized mixing Vanessa with her family was a bit scary—especially since Peter was around. "I'll let you know."

"Okay, thanks. See you later, Katie," Lisa said, kissing Katie's head before she headed to the mudroom and took her car keys. As she was going out, Lou could hear her laugh awkwardly with someone. "Sorry, I almost smacked you on the head with that door, didn't I?"

Lou was listening and wondering who was making an entrance. As soon as she heard Peter's voice, the hair on her neck stuck up.

Be cool, be cool, Lou, she told herself.

"It's okay, nothing happened," Peter chuckled. "You're heading out?"

"Yeah, running errands. Do you need anything from town?" Lisa thought to ask. Peter wasn't only a guest at the Dude Ranch—the place she was in charge of now that Lou was getting some rest—but he was also family, whether everyone considered him to be or not.

"No. Thanks for asking, though. I'm actually heading out myself too; I'm taking Georgie to school. She starts that academic program today."

"Oh, right." Lisa recalled them mentioning about it last night after dinner. "Good for you to go with her."

"I figured that might make it easier," Peter replied. "But we'll see."

The voice finally registered to Katie too and she jumped down from her chair and ran to meet her father. "Daddy, Daddy!"

"Hey, Katie-Kat!" Peter said with his usual style, picking up his daughter.

"I guess I'll be going then. See you," Lisa said as she noticed he had his hands full now.

"Yeah, see you," Peter said, walking inside. "Wow, you've become such a big girl already," he commented as he carried Katie inside with him.

Lou was staring at the doorway already, feeling nervous again but trying to keep cool.

"Morning," Peter said casually, putting Katie down on the floor.

It was almost strange to look at him and not get any type of awkward stare from him, considering he'd had a starring role in Lou's dream last night. But of course dreams didn't work as a way of connecting people, so Lou tried her best not to look for anything that wasn't going to be there.

"Morning," Lou replied, getting up from her chair to keep herself busy. "Do you want some coffee?"

"No, thanks. I drank some instant coffee at the Dude Ranch already," Peter said. "And besides, I should really cut back, especially after last night," he continued, rubbing his face tiredly. Lou was alert at the mention of last night, even though she knew what she was thinking was only a dream. "I was up pretty late trying to get some work done, so I drank more coffee than I should have."

"Yeah, maybe not a good idea," Lou agreed. Since she wasn't able to offer Peter coffee, she was now feeling a bit lost. What was she supposed to do? How was she supposed to act?

Thankfully, she was saved by Georgie, who came downstairs.

"Hey, honey. Ready for the day?" Peter asked.

Georgie looked like she was anything but ready. It looked like she too hadn't gotten any sleep last night. "Let's just go," she muttered.

"Uh, honey? You have to eat something," Lou worried. "Here, take my sandwiches. I'll make myself new ones," she offered as she didn't want to hold Georgie and Peter back.

"Thanks, Mom," Georgie said, taking the food and then heading to the mudroom to put on her shoes.

Lou looked after her. She didn't know if Georgie had been aware of it, but she had just called her "mom." Georgie usually didn't do that as much; she called her "Lou" more than "mom."

But after these last few days, hearing her say that made Lou feel special. Despite all the failures and all the things she could have done better, she was still a mom.

It was an honor.

"I'll see you guys later," Lou said after them. "And good luck."

"Gonna need it," Georgie murmured before she and Peter went out.


	78. Chapter 78

Georgie sat in Lou's SUV and stared at the school yard. The memories of those whispers in the rehearsals still haunted her, and that had only been a handful of people. What would happen when she had to face the whole school?

"You got everything you need?" Peter checked as Georgie hadn't moved for almost a minute even though they'd been parked in front of the school for a while now.

"Yeah, I think so," Georgie said, the nerves evident in her voice.

Peter didn't know if anything he could say would really change how Georgie would feel. Still, he had to try. "You'll do great."

"I don't know..." Georgie wasn't as sure, and at least here in the car she could admit it to someone as Peter seemed to sense what was going on. In the school, no one was on her side— except maybe Jade, but they didn't share classes.

"You remember how I told you that I got bullied in the school and I got into trouble when I decided to do something about it?" Peter asked.

Georgie nodded. "The carrots in their nose thing—yeah, I remember."

"Well, it wasn't easy going back to school after that," Peter recalled. "People liked to gossip, and worst of all, they started to avoid me. In a way, I thought that was better, because I just wanted to be left alone, but I could still feel all the attention on me, and that was sometimes worse than what they yelled at me."

Georgie could understand that. "Your mind starts making up stuff."

"Yeah," Peter nodded. "But I got through it, and you know how I did that?"

"How?" Georgie asked and looked at her father.

"I kept thinking that everything will pass, whether it's the good times or bad times. And even though it feels hard at the time, there will come a time when I'm not in that situation, and thinking that helped. And here I am; those moments are in the past, and I made it through."

Georgie nodded. She tried to remember that as well, but there was still something that was bothering her. "What about you and Mom…?"

"What do you mean?" Peter didn't follow.

"Is that how you see your relationship too?" Georgie asked, fully knowing that things might have felt somewhat good now, but it all felt more like calm before the storm—a storm called divorce. "That someday Mom, Katie, and I become a thing in the past to you?"

"What?" Peter was shocked. "No, never. Georgie, listen to me," he insisted. "That will never happen. I will always be with you. This thing with your mom is complicated. I don't think neither of us really understand what's happening, but we're working on it in a way that will allow us to be a family even if your mom and I would go our separate ways."

"Didn't you have a wife before Lou too?" Georgie asked all the things she'd been thinking about throughout the night that had been full of fears of all kinds, everything from the school day to her losing her family—again. She and Olivia might have reached a truce, but her words still haunted Georgie as she returned to the scene of the crime.

"I did, but that was different," Peter admitted.

"How? You never talk about her," Georgie pointed out. "What if that happens again?"

"That's because I don't have a reason to talk about her," Peter said, feeling a little weird even talking about this, but if that would help Georgie, then he would do whatever it took. "Yes, Eden used to be my wife, but it was so different from what I've ever had with your mom, mostly because we have you and Katie. It just makes it all so much different."

"And what happens if you and Mom get divorced?" Georgie wanted to know. "What if you find a new family and get new kids? What if they're better than I am?"

"Georgie, no one—absolutely no one—could ever replace you in my life. You're special to me as you are, and I'll love you for as long as I live; I promise you that," Peter said.

"Didn't you promise all kinds of things to Mom too when you got married, yet here you are?" Georgie asked.

It was one of those moments when Peter really realized just how old Georgie was getting; she didn't have the naivety of a child anymore, but instead she was beginning to understand more about the world around her, even though she lacked some life experience that couldn't be understood until she actually lived through it.

"How do I know I can trust you?" she continued.

Georgie's words cut deep, but Peter couldn't show his hurt because while Georgie was involved in the situation, being their child, there were parts that were just between him and Lou, and he didn't want to get Georgie mixed up to those, so Peter only addressed part of what she was saying.

"You don't; you don't know you can trust me," Peter admitted truthfully. A complete trust wasn't a luxury many had in this life, and coming from Georgie's background, it was understandable she, especially, was struggling with it. "But I will prove it to you; I will show up, I will support you through thick and thin. I will be there. And I'm sure your mother would say the same thing."

Georgie looked at Peter and saw determination in his eyes. At least he was trying. "Okay," Georgie finally said. It wasn't as if a huge weight would have been lifted off from her shoulders since it was all yet to be seen, but at least this was a start.

And someday she could, hopefully, look back on this and think this mistrust toward her parents was a thing in the past—just like this damn school day would be.


	79. Chapter 79

Later that morning, Lou and Katie had Vanessa and her son, Abraham, over for a visit. After Lou's friend had offered her help with Katie few days ago when Lou and Peter had dealt with Georgie's situation, Lou had promised her they would be invited to see the farm animals whenever they were free. It was easy to see that the little boy was excited to see the animals - but more than that, his friend.

"Lou, this was a great idea. I'm glad you invited us over," Vanessa gushed as she and Lou walked toward the pastures so Katie could show her friend her own pony, Pogie. "Abraham's so happy to see Katie again. He's been asking about her every day."

"Well, soon he might not have to. I was thinking I'd talk to Peter about putting Katie back into kindergarten," Lou revealed, feeling confident that it was the right move. Of course, there would be things that needed to be arranged, like informing the teachers about what had happened with Katie, so they knew to keep an eye on her-more than usual-but it was what needed to be done so they could move on and start living their lives more normally.

In the end, Lou was happier with telling them that Katie was doing okay than with telling them that she needed a few days off because of a major health scare.

The doctors had been saying that it was best to keep Katie's stress levels low, so the best thing to do that, in Lou's mind, was to bring her back to their routine, which included going back to kindergarten.

Lou would have been lying if she'd said it didn't make her worry-because it did-but at the same time, part of being a parent was knowing when to let go. She'd done it few times now in her life by letting Katie go to the kindergarten in the first place, leaving Katie with a babysitter, or having her go to sleepovers, so it wasn't like she couldn't do it again.

"So does that mean Katie's feeling better already?" Vanessa guessed.

"Much better, thankfully," Lou was happy to tell her.

Vanessa sighed in relief. "Oh! That is such good news!"

Lou smiled, feeling stronger from sharing the good news. "Yeah, it is," she agreed, leaning on the fence while keeping Katie and her friend in sight so nothing bad would happen to them.

Katie was pretty used to being around animals, and the horses were generally calm around her as well, but Abraham didn't know them so well. But it wasn't the only reason Lou worried; she also carried guilt within her due to the accident that had proved anything could happen in seconds.

"How you've been?" Vanessa then asked. Now that she was relieved to hear that Katie was doing better, she wanted to know about her friend. Being a single mother was tough, especially when you had to go through trauma like this. "You seem better, at least," she observed.

"I am," Lou verified. "Still a little bit wary, but... things are getting better."

"That's good," Vanessa said. "Have to say, you seem almost like a different woman. Have you done something to your hair? New clothes?" she asked while eyeing her friend from head to toe.

"What?" Lou seemed genuinely confused. "No? I mean, I washed my hair, if that's what you're talking about," she continued, making them both laugh. Lou's whole body came alive just from feeling the sensation of happiness. Inviting Vanessa over had been a good decision.

"Okay, well, good. Maybe it's the relief then?" Vanessa took a guess. "Or the fact that we just haven't seen each other in days. Which reminds me: when are we going out?"

"I don't know..." Lou said hesitantly. The timing for a girls' night out just didn't seem right at the moment. Lou knew Vanessa meant well, but she also knew Vanessa had probably never been in this situation and didn't understand how it took time to recover even when things were stable. "Peter's here, and I feel like–"

Vanessa quickly cut in. "Peter's still here?"

"Yeah. He took a few days off to stay for a little while longer," Lou replied.

"Then we _have to_ go out!" Vanessa insisted. "I mean, stuck at home with your ex–"

It was Lou's turn to cut in. "He's not my ex yet-not technically."

"But he's an ex in your mind, isn't he?" Vanessa replied. When Lou didn't answer right away but seemed like she was trying to come up with a way to describe the current situation, it raised suspicions for her friend. "Isn't he...? Or has something happened?"

"I don't know." Lou finally sighed and turned to her friend, her voice more like a whisper now. "I mean, we kissed-or he kissed me-but that was like an accident, he said, or more like an old habit."

"Okay..." Vanessa commented, wondering if that really had been it.

"And like, fine, I get that, I guess," Lou blabbered, "I mean, nothing changed after that, at least not on that level. Like, there hasn't been any intimacy or anything like that, so I guess we're in the platonic state or something."

"Well, isn't that how it's supposed to be?" Vanessa pointed out as it seemed like Lou was almost surprised by it. "You're separated, after all; it's part of the process to become more platonic with your ex. You can't just have the benefits, you know."

"I guess," Lou sighed. She thought about dropping the subject, as it seemed pretty black and white, but she just couldn't, not after the dream she had had. "But there's one problem."

"What's that?" Vanessa asked, looking after the kids as they fed the pony every dandelion they could find.

"I had this... dream about him," Lou said, feeling her temples turning red. It usually wasn't a problem for her to speak about "the grown up stuff," but for some reason, it was as if she were a teenager again and she was telling her best friend about some guy she had a crush on. "It was like... a sex dream," she confessed.

"Well, we all have those, don't we?" Vanessa said, waving her hand like it wasn't a big deal.

"Yeah, but when you do, is it with your ex?" Lou wanted to know.

Vanessa had to admit Lou had a point. "Not usually. Like last time I had a dream about this guy I saw at the gym. It was a good dream," she said, smiling mischievously. "My point is, don't worry about it. Your brain is probably working him out of your system. You've been in a monogamous relationship for years now; it's perfectly normal that he's your go-to guy when it comes to this."

"You might have a point," Lou said. It probably would have been more shocking if it hadn't been Peter, now that she thought about it. Whether Peter was getting closer to being an ex or not, Lou still couldn't picture herself with anyone else. She wasn't sure if that just meant her mind was committed to monogamy when it came to marriage or that she still wasn't over Peter.

Lou heard her phone beeping. She pulled her cell out. There was a text from Peter that she hadn't heard and another one from Lisa, the one she'd gotten just now.

She read Peter's text first.

 _"Took Georgie to school, even had a chat with the principal. They'll have a meeting with her, and we'll see the report about it when she comes home. I'll be at the Dude Ranch in case I'm needed. Do you want me to pick her up?"_

She quickly responded, _"I guess you could pick her up, since you have my car. Thank you."_

It all felt very casual, even though it was weird to have Peter here helping her to run the family, but at the same time it was what she'd always wanted.

After few swipes, Lisa's message popped up. "Are your friend and her son staying for lunch? Let me know!"

Lou lifted her eyes from the phone to look at Vanessa. "Grandpa's wife wants to know if you and Abraham will be staying for dinner," Lou said, feeling like maybe it would be safe for them to stay because it seemed like Peter was working during the day and he might not join them.

"Why not," Vanessa accepted the invite. There was something she did find odd, though. "Grandpa's wife...? You mean your grandmother?"

"No, well..." Lou began to answer but then stopped. Was Lisa her grandmother? She was married to her grandfather, so in a way she was, but at the same time, it was hard to think of someone as young as her own mother as her grandmother. "My grandmother died years ago, and Grandpa has since remarried. We just call her Lisa; hence, Grandpa's wife."

"Oh, okay."

While texting back to Lisa, Lou got into thinking how fractured their family was. After Lyndy had died, it has been just her, Grandpa, Mom, Dad, and Amy. Then Tim had been kicked out because of his substance abuse problems, and few years later, Mom had died. She, Grandpa, and Amy had been very close to becoming a distant unit that hardly talked with one another, but Mom's death had brought them back together. That really had set wheels into motion: Ty had joined the family, and Tim had returned. Later Jack had gotten to know Lisa, and she herself had met Peter.

In her mind, Lou had dreamed about having a traditional family, the kind she had never had, thinking that that way her life would be much more stable and she would avoid getting her heart broken again. But it seemed like even when she'd had that, things had fallen apart, and it was hard for her to accept it.

It was as if life was telling her that there wasn't one way to have a family; sometimes things just happened, and maybe they didn't go according to a plan, but they could still work out. She and Peter had made a promise that they would make this work, even if they would be apart, so maybe it was time to really embrace that thought.


	80. Chapter 80

After running to town and getting all the groceries needed for lunch, dinner, and a cake, Lisa started cooking for the Dude Ranch guests. She loved her career as a breeder, but she had to admit she had a soft spot for running a Dude Ranch and all the opportunities it offered-like cooking, for example-especially now that she knew that Lou would appreciate her help and she wasn't stepping on her toes. Nothing made Lisa happier than making other people happy, especially when it came to her family.

As she was about to add more spices to the sauce she was trying out-a new recipe from one of her food and wine magazines-Amy stepped inside. Lisa glanced at her as Amy walked straight to the fridge. "Hey," she said, smiling kindly.

"Hey. Whatever you're cooking smells amazing," Amy had to comment as she was taking out a juice box for herself and couldn't ignore the smell of the sauce. "Makes me miss living here," she admitted.

"Aw, thank you." Lisa was taken aback by the compliment. For her, cooking was a fun activity, but it was better when she was preparing dinner for someone other than herself. "It's for the Dude Ranch guests, but maybe I could do this for you guys too someday."

Amy grinned and sat down for a while. "I don't think anyone would mind."

"You're saying you and Ty don't cook?" she had to ask after hearing Amy's earlier comment about missing Heartland and the cooking that happened under this roof.

"Well... I wouldn't call it cooking, especially after the things I've seen you do." Amy chuckled a little. "We're both so busy, sometimes we forget to eat. And when we do eat, if we use at least one fresh vegetable in the dish, it's gourmet for us," she talked, making Lisa laugh a little. "It's a good thing coming here keeps us rooted at least some way. Because, let me tell you, it's no fun having a husband who comes from the night shift and craves food while you're trying to sleep in the same trailer so you can get up at the crack of dawn."

"Yeah, I suppose it takes time to form a routine of your own. But I bet you'll be able to manage it all better when you move into that loft of yours," Lisa said, nodding toward the window in the barn's general direction.

"Yeah, I think so. And even though it's not glorious right now, living in that cramped trailer, I mean, I still like having this kind of independence. It's the first time for me being really on my own. I know I was in Europe and that was a big step for me, but I was always looked after there too. Now it's just me-and Ty," Amy confided. "And I love Grandpa, I do, but I think he sometimes forgets we're adults." She shook her head, as it had been hard for Jack to not worry too much about her and Ty. The good thing was that he still had Georgie and Katie to worry about, so he wasn't left with nothing.

"I get it. He means well, but you also have to be able to spread your wings sometime," Lisa said. "Especially now that you're married."

"Exactly."

There weren't too many beats before Lisa came up with a new topic to discuss. "I saw you working with that horse in the pen; how's that going?"

"There's definitely been some improvements after our visit to his previous owner last night," Amy admitted. "It's helped me with my approach and makes me sympathize with him in a new way."

She then gave Lisa a brief summary of Merlin and Lisa nodded along, showing Amy that she was listening even though she was engaged with the cooking.

Amy continued: "Before, I was trying to approach him with the food bucket, but now, after gaining his trust, I invite him over instead. That way I'm not a threat, and he can do everything on his own terms. I think it's a first step for him to accepting people close to him when he's eating."

"Definitely sounds like you're getting somewhere," Lisa figured, proud of what Amy was doing. She then realized this was a perfect opportunity to talk about her plans with Ben. "You know, Jack and I mentioned earlier about the help you could get with the chores."

"Yeah?" Amy asked, then sipping her juice.

"Well, we were hoping you could maybe take Ben under your wing."

"Ben? Your nephew Ben?" Amy checked, even though she couldn't come up with anyone else named that (maybe one boy from her old school, but he was probably not the person Lisa was talking about).

"Yes, him. He's been going through some things lately and could use the stability this place offers. It's kind of like you just said; Heartland gives a person a routine," Lisa said, tying the topics together.

Amy listened and nodded. She had to admit Ben wouldn't have been her first choice, but then again, it had been years since they had seen each other, and he had probably-hopefully-matured, because it wasn't as if she herself was the same person she'd been back then.

"Yeah, why not," Amy said now sincerely, after she had thought about it for a while. She was willing to give Ben a chance if Lisa thought it was worth a shot. "How's he doing, then? I mean, you said he's been going through some things."

"He lost Red," Lisa told Amy with an empathetic sad look on her face. "That horse was his world, and I know that underneath all his mourning, he just needs to get back together with horses-that's when he's the happiest."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Amy replied, feeling sorry for Ben. She knew how strong bonds people could form with their equine companions, and coming back from losing one wasn't easy-which was why she had to make sure of something. "Not to sound patronizing, but . . . are you sure he'll be up for the job?"

"He knows what he's in for; he agreed to come here and give it a try," Lisa said, understanding where Amy was coming from. It wasn't like they were looking for a ranch hand that wasn't able to do the work he was required to do. Even though Amy-like rest of the people at Heartland-had a lot of sympathy, they also had a strict work ethic, and a ranch hand who was slacking off wouldn't stay long.

"Okay, good." Amy was relieved to hear exactly what she wanted to hear.

"All right, I think the sauce is ready and the rice is ready. The salad's waiting... " Lisa murmured to herself and started finishing up. "Now comes the best part: the presentation." She had a big, excited grin on her face.

"I'll leave you to it," Amy chuckled and got up, getting back to her work.


	81. Chapter 81

Lisa had decided to leave Peter's cabin as the last one where she served lunch to see how the man was doing. Ever since their talk in the car, she felt like she needed to check up on him. In a way, she related to him and the fact that he had to fight so hard to find his place in the family. He'd been married to Lou for years now, for crying out loud, and they had children, yet he still felt like an outsider. Lisa wanted Peter to know that at least someone considered him part of the clan. She knocked on his cabin door.

After a while, Peter came to open the door. Lisa positioned the tray on her hands better so she wouldn't lose her grip.

"Hey," Peter said and smiled as soon as he saw Lisa. "What's this?"

"Some lunch. Tried something different today," Lisa told him. "Can I come in?"

"Sure," Peter replied, gesturing for her to enter. He took a few steps back but held onto the handle while Lisa walked in and was about to place the tray on the table. "Oh, let me get those papers out of the way," he said as he realized he wasn't being very organized and his work-related files were everywhere. Pushing the door closed, he then walked over to the table and gathered the papers together into piles.

"Quite a work load you got there," Lisa couldn't help but notice.

"Yeah, it's..." Peter started talking, feeling like someone had caught him red-handed. He had been trying to play it cool, act like it wasn't a problem for him to work from here, but it wasn't so easy anymore. He'd been staying awake most of the nights just so he could keep up with things in Vancouver. Everything was piling up, but he knew he needed to be here, for the girls, for Lou. He'd promised. "It's getting harder," he finally admitted, feeling like Lisa was one of the people he could talk to in confidence. She probably understood it as she traveled a lot for business.

Lisa looked at him with concern. "Oh?"

"I have this project. They really want me to be there, face to face, but... I can't just leave. I mean, with everything going on with the girls," he explained. "So I just have to do what I can with what I can."

Lisa nodded and wondered if she should just let it be, but at the same time, her concern pushed through. "Are you sure it's worth it all?"

"What do you mean?" Peter asked, removing the lid from the plate and checking what Lisa had brought.

"The work. Does it make you happy?" Lisa specified.

"You know what, I've been thinking about that too. I mean, I think it does, but it's so hard to remember it now. It's like as soon as I'm in Vancouver, it makes sense to me-I'm in my element-but then when I come back here, I'm reminded why this thing isn't working: why my marriage has failed and why my kids don't even know me."

Lisa could see the circles under Peter's eyes, and it was hard to ignore the exhaustion he was carrying. "But you keep doing it anyway. Why?"

"I guess..." Peter began, trying to collect his thoughts. "I already failed once with Bedford. It was humiliating. I don't wanna fail again with this."

"But is it worth it? I mean, you said it's not working out with the family life."

"Yeah, I know," Peter nodded. "But being here reminds me that I'm failing too, as a husband and a father. At least with the work, I have a chance."

Lisa was surprised to hear Peter say that. "And you don't think you do with your family?"

"I don't expect this to make sense." Peter realized how crazy it sounded. "My father always said that I should work hard with everything in life, and that's what I've been trying to do. My parents never said it, but when things fell apart with Bedford, I could sense they were disappointed. And I know it's ridiculous to care about what your parents think about you, but I just do. They gave me everything they could, and so I feel like I should honor them somehow by making the most if it."

"Okay, I get that, but... what about Lou and the girls? It sounds like you've already somewhat given up," Lisa pointed out, hoping to help Peter and not blame him for something she didn't really know anything about.

"I can't do it alone," Peter said.

"What makes you think you're doing it alone?" Lisa wondered.

"Lou doesn't even wear her rings anymore. She's clearly moved on." He admitted the thing that probably bothered him the most. "And I can't blame her."

"You're not wearing your ring either, so what's going on with that?" Lisa pointed out.

Peter glanced at his hand, sighing and nodding. "I guess I was trying to see how it would feel. Failing, again. Like I did with Eden," Peter explained. "And so I took it off to make more sense of it. Like I said, I'm never fully in work mode when I'm here; I need to be in Vancouver to realize who I am as a worker. It's kind of the same thing with Lou: I'm never fully there with her when I'm in Vancouver. So the ring was my way to make her real to me, because she's never been to Vancouver with me. I don't have any memories of her there with me. It's like . . . she doesn't exist in Vancouver. It sounds insane, but I don't know how else to explain it. I took the ring off, and then Lou called me about Katie's accident. I came rushing here, so I forgot about the whole thing, and then she noticed I wasn't wearing it. She got angry, and after that, she stopped wearing her rings. So I failed-again."

"So... that's it?" Lisa prompted. "You won't even try."

"I'm doing something, but I don't even know where I'm going with that. I don't think it's about winning Lou back; it's just keeping our family together. That's what should matter," Peter replied. "I'm kind of figuring things out along the way."

Lisa nodded. It sounded like Peter was burning candles from both ends, like he often did, but soon he would get burned, and it would be time to decide which way he wanted to go. "Do you want her back then? I know it's a personal question, and you don't need to–"

"Yes, I would like her back," Peter interrupted as he didn't mind it. It wasn't a secret. Maybe for others, but not to him.

Lisa was baffled. "Then do something about it. She needs a gesture of some kind," she said, feeling like she was playing Cupid. But then again, she'd been the one setting Lou and Peter up in the first place, so maybe she had always been that for them.

"Like roses? Jewelry?" Peter suggested, rubbing his neck, not knowing what would be the way.

"Bigger than that. Roses or jewelry aren't going to show her you really mean it. They're nice, but it's not what she really wants," Lisa knew, being a person who had stood at the sidelines, watching as Lou and Peter's marriage had begun to fall apart before it had ever really been given a chance to begin with. "If that had been enough, she wouldn't have come back from Dubai. She's always wanted something more."

"Yeah," Peter nodded. It was hard to think about all the ways he'd failed, but he had to feel a little discomfort to make it right.

"You know what," Lisa said, thinking Peter could use a little assistance, "why don't you come over for lunch? Show her you'll show up."

"But... maybe that's not a good idea," Peter hesitated as Lisa grabbed the tray back. "I mean, maybe I should just give her more space so it won't feel like I'm trying to push into her life."

"Honey, you already are in her life; you're her husband," Lisa pointed out. "And besides, nothing's going to happen if you just wait for it-God knows she's waited long enough. It's time to step up, Peter. If people don't think you're family, try to prove them wrong. It's the only way things are going to change. Now, come on; you're going to help me with lunch at the ranch."


	82. Chapter 82

"Does this guy at the gym have a name?" Lou was interrogating Vanessa as they went inside the ranch house with the kids. Lisa had texted her while they were at the back field, saying that lunch was ready. It was nice of Lisa to prepare lunch for them so that Lou had more time to spend with her friend.

Lou and Vanessa had spent the whole morning outside, just talking, while Abraham and Katie had gotten to know the farm's animals a little bit. Her spirits were lifted, and now Lou felt like they were slowly getting back to normal. It seemed there was no cure like the company of a friend.

"Probably, but I don't know it. I've only talked to him few times, asking if he was still using the treadmill," Vanessa replied, laughing.

"So a WIP, then," Lou noted before turning to Katie and putting her hand on her shoulder. "Honey, why don't you show Abraham where the bathroom is so you can wash your hands?" she suggested to Katie, who was removing her little boots.

"Okay, Mommy," the girl said. "Come on, Abraham!" Katie pulled her friend by the hand, and they began to run toward the bathroom. It seemed they were always rushing everywhere, as kids often did.

"Did you have fun?" Lisa asked when the two women stepped into the kitchen. Something about their energy was contagious, and Lisa felt excited in their presence. It was good to see Lou smile after the week she'd had.

"Oh yeah. Quite a farm you got here," Vanessa commented and reached out her hand politely since they hadn't been introduced before. "I'm Vanessa, hi."

"Lisa," Lisa introduced herself after wiping her hand quickly on a nearby towel. "Nice to finally meet you, Vanessa. I've heard so much about you and Abraham."

"Oh, so you're Lisa." The woman didn't look older than Vanessa's mother, so she could understand why Lou might have had a difficult time calling her grandmother. "I just..." She felt a need to explain more when she saw Lisa's reserved expression. "Lou was texting you and said you were inviting us for lunch, so... "

"Oh, okay," Lisa said, nodding a little and feeling relieved. She never knew if Lou was saying good things about her or not. Their relationship was complex, to say the least. "Well, the table's set; feel free to sit wherever you want."

"Thank you," Vanessa said, looking around. "Wow, this house is amazing. So rustic!" Her eyes were exploring all the little details of this family's home.

"This way," Lou gestured toward the living room. She could see Grandpa and Amy sitting in their seats and heard them talking about Merlin and his progress. What she didn't expect to see at the end of the table was Peter, putting a napkin on his lap. "Peter...?"

"Hi, Lou," Peter said, smiling.

Amy and Jack quieted and kept an eye on the situation, even though they both realized it would probably only add to the awkwardness.

"Peter here helped me with lunch," Lisa said, swooping in from the kitchen, not even caring how surprised Lou looked. This was the exact reaction they'd been after, she thought smugly to herself.

When Lou didn't really react, Peter shifted his focus on her friend. "Nice to see you again, Vanessa."

Vanessa smiled, somewhat interested in how this situation would unfold. "You too."

Everyone turned to look at Lou and Vanessa and waited. Lou soon realized her reaction probably looked over-the-top to everyone, since she'd gotten along with Peter just fine this last few days, but they didn't know to factor in her steamy dream and the fact that she wasn't really interested putting Vanessa and Peter into the same group of people since Vanessa knew too much.

Feeling uncomfortable, Jack stood up and reached out his hand. "Nice to meet you, Vanessa," he said to Lou's friend as they shook hands. "I'm Jack Bartlett, Lou's grandfather."

"Thank you, nice to meet you too," Vanessa said, ignoring the strange atmosphere.

Amy too got up and introduced herself politely. "I'm Amy, Lou's sister."

"Oh right-the Miracle Girl, right?" she asked, and Amy nodded.

"Yeah, that's me," Amy replied, smiling a little.

Meanwhile, Lou and Peter had locked eyes again, and she wasn't sure how she would feel about this. She'd been pretty sure that Peter would have his lunch at the cabins, but it seemed she'd thought wrong. Lou knew it was too late for her to un-invite Vanessa and Abraham to join them for lunch, and at the same time, she didn't even want that, but she couldn't just ask Peter to leave either, especially if he'd helped Lisa with the cooking.

So for now, she was stuck.

Was Vanessa now looking for any kind of sign of attraction that wasn't platonic between them to know if she was really getting over Peter? Lou almost felt guilty for thinking of Peter that way, almost as if she wasn't supposed to have those kinds of thoughts about him anymore, whether she was awake or asleep. Lou looked at Vanessa, wondering how this would end.

"Mommy, Mommy, can I sit next to Abraham?" Katie asked when she came back from the bathroom with the boy.

"Uh, yeah, sure," Lou said, distracting herself with her daughter's wishes. "Where do you wanna sit?"

"Next to Aunt Amy," Katie said. It was usually a place occupied by Ty or Georgie, but since neither of them were available for dinner, Katie was able to take that seat next to her aunt, who she almost idolized. It was an opportunity Katie wouldn't miss.

"Come on here, then," Amy jumped into the conversation, pulling out the chair for her niece. "Your friend can sit next to you, at Georgie's place." Katie ran to the other side of the table and took a seat next to Amy, also making sure Abraham could get into his chair too.

"Oh, you have spots?" Vanessa realized, walking to the other side of the table with Lou. As a guest, she wanted to respect the rules of the house.

"Well, not really. We just tend to sit on the same places often," Lisa said, bringing in the salad to complete the setting. "Jack always sits on the end of the table, Amy's usually there..."

"And where do you sit?" Vanessa asked from Lisa.

"Next to Grandpa," she said with a warm tone and looked at him with fondness. The old man smiled coyly and sat back in his place after welcoming Vanessa.

"So I guess this spot is reserved for me then," Vanessa figured, laying her hands on the chair that was next to Lisa. "Or...?" she trailed off and looked at Lou. She assumed Lou probably sat next to Peter.

"Yeah, it's fine," Lou said, smiling nervously but doing her best to hide it. She hated how the dream kept crawling back into her mind, because it wasn't as if anything had really changed between her and Peter, and she didn't want to give him any reason to suspect that something had.

"Great. Let's all sit down then," Lisa announced as the rest of them took their places from the table. "I hope you like moussaka, Vanessa."

"Oh, I haven't had that in a while," Vanessa said, taking her seat. She and Lisa went on with their chatter while Katie was asking Amy questions about the things Abraham had wanted to know but she hadn't known the answers to.

At the end of the table, Lou was looking at Peter again, realizing this was second time he'd joined the family dinners while being here. It wasn't that she minded, but it was definitely a change of some sort.

So... had something changed between them after all?


	83. Chapter 83

"So, Vanessa, what is it that you do for work, if I may ask?" Jack led the conversation at the dinner table after they'd passed the bowls around and were adjusting the napkins on their laps. It helped ease the tension that had now spread from Lou and Peter to everyone's minds.

"I'm a nurse," Vanessa said, taking hold of her fork and knife.

"Oh, wow, that's a really honorable job," Lisa said, looking impressed as she put down her wine glass after taking a sip.

"Yeah, and it's really demanding as well," Vanessa agreed. "People often think that we just help the doctors by holding the patient's hand, but I'd dare to say we do almost more than they do during the day," she continued.

Lou was proud of her friend and wanted to show it too. "That's why it was so easy for us to take Katie to Vanessa's when we had to visit the Wheatons a few days ago," Lou pitched in. "We knew she would be in good care."

" _We_ …?" Peter echoed playfully. "I seem to recall that _you_ didn't find it so easy." He was smiling, but it didn't seem to ease the knack at all based on Lou's reaction.

Lou looked at Peter and blushed a little. She knew everyone always called her neurotic, but to her own defense, she always had a good reason to worry.

"Well, you can't blame me after everything that had just happened to Katie."

Lisa-who was following the conversation from Vanessa's side-was starting to fear that maybe this hadn't been a good idea after all; maybe Lou and Peter had been able to make things work for a few days because Peter didn't spend too much time here and they didn't come across the things that usually made them tick.

Peter felt like everyone was waiting for his defense and instantly regretted the whole teasing thing. "I get that-and I wasn't trying to blame you for anything. I just..." he replied, wondering where he was even going with this.

It seemed like this was part of their problem: they read too much into what the other one was saying, almost like they were looking for a fight - not because it was there but because it seemed like they didn't know how to not fight. Maybe they should have just weighed their words better.

"I was just kidding," Peter said eventually, taking note not to tease Lou too much about things that she was insecure about as it often seemed to lead into an argument, and he wasn't here to fight.

"Anyway," Vanessa quickly swooped in, sensing her friend's awkward situation, "I was about to say that coming here, spending time on a ranch, and not having to stress is rare for me. My ex and I share custody of Abraham, so when he's with my ex, I'm working, and when I'm not working, I'm spending time with Abraham. And as much as I love it, it can be tiring too, you know. I'm not as young as I used to be, so while I wish I could run after him and play with him the way he deserves, I just can't keep up. But this-him spending time with Katie and putting that energy into that-gives me time to just breathe a little while still spending time with Abraham—and, of course, gives me time with Lou too," she continued, giving Lou a smile.

Lou appreciated her kind words and felt good about being able to offer Vanessa something she so desperately needed.

"Well, you are welcome here anytime," Jack said in a friendly manner. "We really don't mind. I'm sure Katie loves having her friend around too, don't you, Katie?"

"Yeah!" Katie said enthusiastically, making everyone at the table smile.

"Thank you", Vanessa said. "That's really kind of you, Mr. Fleming."

"Uh - actually, it's _Bartlett_ ," Jack corrected carefully.

"Our dad's Mr. Fleming," Amy pitched in, even though it was weird for her to call her own dad Mr. Fleming.

It made Lou feel twice as awkward. She still hadn't spoken about her fight with Tim with anyone other than Peter and Jack, even though she knew Amy deserved to know too.

How soon would Amy notice that their dad didn't come by and attend family dinners and whatnot? For now, she probably didn't even know Tim was back in town, but soon she would start to wonder.

"Oh, sorry. Mr. _Bartlett_ , then," Vanessa said.

"Just call me Jack," the older man insisted, smiling under his mustache.

Vanessa smiled too. "I will. Jack."

Everyone started eating, but Vanessa still felt like she had something to express. "It's such a nice thing to have a friend who's in the same position as I am," she said.

Lou could feel the situation starting to get worse even though she knew Vanessa didn't mean to do any harm. Her friend just didn't know everything that was hidden under the somewhat perfect surface of this family—and more, importantly, her relationship with Peter. This was exactly what she had feared.

Vanessa continued, "You know, single mother in need of a friend. We were actually thinking of having a girls' night–"

" _Peas_!" Lou suddenly uttered. Everyone turned to look at her. "Does anyone want peas? I don't think you guys noticed the bowl with the peas."

Confused glances were exchanged when Lou offered the peas around and no one took them. "No one? No? Okay, then."

"You were saying...?" Amy encouraged Vanessa to continue since her sister was acting weird and didn't let her friend even finish for some reason. She tried to get a hold of Lou's gaze, but Lou kept looking down, almost as if she wanted to disappear.

Vanessa wasn't sure what had gotten into Lou either. They had talked about this, but even though Lou hadn't been too keen on the idea, Vanessa knew from own experience that she deserved some time off. Maybe if she could hear her family supporting her with it, Lou would realize that she was "allowed" to have fun too. It was important for mothers like them to remember that.

"Lou and I were thinking about having girls' night out sometime," Vanessa finished her sentence.

Lou hesitated again. "I don't really know... " She wanted everyone to see and hear that she didn't think she deserved it, not after the mistake she'd made by not looking after Katie properly.

"Oh, come on, Lou, that's a great idea!" Lisa said. "After everything that you've been through, don't you think you deserve one night off?"

"Yeah, I have to agree with Lisa," Amy said. She'd seen how broken Lou had been after Katie's accident; this could be exactly what could help her break free from the guilt and misery.

"But what about the kids?" Lou tried to argue before turning to Vanessa. "I mean, didn't you say you have Abraham this whole week?"

"Well, why don't we look after him?" Lisa suggested, her eyes shifting to look at the man at the other end of the table. "Peter?"

Peter looked surprised to be brought into the conversation even though he'd been listening from the sidelines while trying to come to terms with the fact that it seemed like Lou already considered herself as a single mother-at least according to Vanessa if that was the reason they bonded so well—and that she was probably talking about their situation with Vanessa, which, of course, wasn't wrong, but it still made him feel self-conscious.

There was more pressure here than he'd thought, and Peter wasn't sure if not knowing would have been better than knowing.

"Uh, yeah, I could help, yeah," he stammered, a little off guard, even though the work stuff was haunting him at the back of his mind.

 _How the hell was he supposed to win Lou back while not letting everyone at work down?_

But at the same time, this seemed to be Lisa's way of helping him out and making him realize how he could make Lou see that she could trust him. This was important.

"I mean, if you two want to go out, you should go out," Peter continued, making it obvious he wasn't just going along with what Lisa had said but actually agreed with it too, despite it making him fear that Lou would slip even further away.

 _What if there was some other guy?_

But at the same time, Peter realized he couldn't force her to see him the way he wanted to be seen. That would have to be Lou's decision.

"Are you sure...?" Lou checked. It wasn't as if Peter didn't deserve a night out too; they both did.

"Yeah, of course. You've done so much here while I've been working, it's my time to take over," Peter now insisted.

"Okay... if you're sure," Lou said.

"I am. So, when were you planning to have this... girls' night out?" Peter asked, now looking at Vanessa since it seemed she was the mastermind behind this.

"Are you free tomorrow?" Vanessa asked Lou.

"She is," Lisa said before Lou could come up with things to do as she knew there never was a day when Lou Fleming wouldn't be all over something. Lou looked at Lisa, seeming almost displeased. "Don't worry, we'll take care of things here. Won't we?"

Everyone nodded along and agreed to help out.

"Okay, so... Abraham," Vanessa tried to catch her son's attention. "How would you feel about having a sleepover here tomorrow?"

"Yes!" the boy yelled, full of excitement. Katie started to clap her hands, not being able to sit still upon hearing about it.

"I guess that's settled then," Vanessa laughed.


	84. Chapter 84

After dinner-which had continued to go better than Lou had expected-Vanessa and Abraham thanked the family for their hospitality and went on their way.

Lou felt different, somehow relieved, and almost like a new person. So many things had changed internally over the course of these past couple hours: Peter had shown up and offered help with the kids while she had been able to combine her friends and family without having too many embarrassing moments.

Katie seemed like she was doing well, and she herself felt energized after having some time with her friend.

All in all, the visit had turned out to be a really good thing for everyone involved.

The only thing she dreaded now was having to talk with Amy about their dad. She had seen Amy disappear back to the barn to do chores, so that's where she would head out too.

Lou found her sister in the middle of cleaning stalls. "You want some help with that?" she offered.

Amy's head appeared between the bars of Phoenix's stall. She was frowning. "Since when have you been into mucking out stalls?"

It wasn't meant as a mean question, but more like a curious one. Lou might have been a horse girl back in the day, but it had been years since she'd engaged herself with them properly. Riding was nice for almost anyone, but mucking out wasn't something people often offered to do.

"Well, never, but I thought you could use some help," Lou said. "Katie's spending time with Peter, so it's not like I have anywhere to be."

"You trying to avoid Peter?" Amy guessed when Lou took one of the shovels from the side and headed into Spartan's stall.

Lou was confused. "What? No? We're... okay."

"Really? Then what was that awkward atmosphere at dinner?" Amy asked, finding this almost a bit amusing.

To her, it seemed like Lou really was clueless about how easy she was to read. She'd probably tried her best to hide whatever was going on with them, but Amy knew her sister almost better than anyone else, and Lou wasn't fooling her.

When Lou felt like they were already getting sidetracked, she started to feel nervous. The last thing she wanted now was to go through the whole Peter thing with Amy and then tell her about Dad, so she tried to figure out how to wrap this up quickly

"Weren't you supposed to stay out of my problems?" Lou reminded firmly. Earlier, Amy had been so concerned about her family it had started to affect her relationship with Ty too. Lou didn't want to drag her into this again.

"So there _is_ a problem," Amy replied, ignoring Lou's point.

"No, there are no problems," Lou sighed, getting frustrated. "Peter and I are fine. I'm not trying to avoid him. I just... there's something I need to tell you." She brought it back to where she'd planned to go all along.

"What is it?" Amy asked, bringing another load of manure to the wheel barrel.

"It's about Dad," Lou began. "He's back in town, but it might take a while before you see him around here." She could already sense the upcoming questions Amy would probably have. "He came here and we had a big fight. I told him to stay away until he starts respecting me and my family."

Amy stopped what she was doing. It wasn't often that Lou got into a big argument with Tim. Sure, they butted heads every once in a while since they were both so stubborn over certain things, but they pretty much never had a falling out. It had been Lou who had invited Tim back into their lives to begin with after they'd somewhat lost contact with him for years, which, to Amy, told a lot about her relationship with their dad.

"What did he do?" Amy wanted to know. Without even knowing the specifics, she already knew it was very possible for Tim to act thoughtlessly and create conflict out of thin air, but she still wanted to know what they were dealing with.

"Katie was taking a nap-this was after we'd brought her home from the hospital-and Dad just rushed in. The doctors asked us to maintain a clear routine with Katie so her healing could begin, and that included naps, but Dad... he just barged in and woke her up," Lou recapped the thing that had broken the camel's back. "I guess stress had been sort of building up over these few days and some nasty things had come to light when I've had to examine my situation with Peter, so I just... snapped."

"Well, it's no wonder," Amy said sympathetically. "You've been so afraid for Katie for days, and then he came and messed it all up. You probably feared something bad would happen to her again."

Lou nodded. Amy thankfully understood why she'd reacted the way she did, and she didn't have to justify her actions.

"Would you like me to talk to him?" Amy offered.

"I can't ask you to do that," Lou sighed. "It's not your mess-and it's not why I told you. I just wanted you to know that this has happened and that's why things might be a bit weird now, but, of course, it's up to you to have your own relationship with him, and I won't hold that against you. But he's not stepping his foot here until he's learned something from it."

"Well, I don't even live here anymore, so it's not like I feel like I have much say about what goes on over here," Amy pointed out. "But I appreciate you telling me."

"I've been sort of trying to learn about this communication thing," Lou explained. "It seems like we've never learned what it means. Maybe that's why my life is such a mess."

"Yeah, I kind of know what you mean," Amy admitted, rolling her eyes a little as she recalled the countless times she could have been better at communicating. "It's never been my strongest suit either. It's not easy-talking, I mean-but I think I'm getting better."

"That's good," Lou said, drifting off. "Hey, I meant to ask you: maybe you'd like to come to the girls' night out as well? You've been working so hard lately, and you could use a night out too."

Amy cocked her brow. "You're sure you're not just after using me as a bumper or a chaperone?"

"What do you mean?" Lou frowned.

"Well, when was the last time you were even out without Peter?" Amy asked, continuing the mucking. "It just sounds like maybe you have a different idea of what girls' night out means than Vanessa does."

Amy had to admit she didn't know Vanessa well, but based on everything she'd talked about over dinner, it seemed like she was embracing this single mother thing and was probably looking to have some fun. If a guy would join them, she probably wouldn't turn him away.

Meanwhile, Lou was still stuck in between. She wasn't really married, but she wasn't really single either. It wasn't like Lou to admit she would be scared of something, but Amy knew she wasn't always as fearless as she tried to appear. That being said, Amy was proud of how her sister had faced huge challenges in her life and come out of them alive, whether she succeeded or not. It was something that inspired her.

"Yeah, maybe," Lou admitted. "I was thinking of having a few drinks and maybe taking over the dance floor, but what if I'm just going to third-wheel? Vanessa's more ahead in this life situation than I am."

"So you thought to ask your little sister along-someone who doesn't drink and doesn't really like dancing either?" Amy pointed out the flaw in Lou's logic.

"Well, yeah, but I just don't wanna be the awkward third wheel!" Lou asserted, groaning a little.

"Then why don't you just try talking to someone?" Amy suggested. "See how it feels."

"You mean... a guy?" Lou asked, almost as if what Amy had just suggested was somehow preposterous. She hadn't even thought about that, and, quite frankly, that almost made her want to cancel the plans.

 _What if she had to talk to someone?_

Amy shrugged. "Yeah. Doesn't have to mean anything; it could be just, you know, fun."

Lou didn't want to comment on it, but she got into thinking that a lot of people were on some level expecting her to move on, whether it was something as radical as hooking up with a guy or just trying to flirt with a stranger to see how it felt. Lou knew that this separation arrangement wasn't going to last forever, but she also hadn't really given much thought into being with another man. Even her mind was keeping Peter as her go-to guy in her dreams.

Not to mention it just felt too soon for that for Georgie and Katie. They were just trying to adapt to this situation and the changes it would bring with it. She couldn't just be selfish and want what she wanted; she had to think about the kids too.

On top of it all, this wasn't even something she'd talked over with Peter. Were they free to move on? Were there still rules when you weren't really in a relationship anymore?

At the same time, Lou also didn't want to seem like she was too hung up on Peter or that she was scared of going forward, because eventually that was what was expected to happen.


	85. Chapter 85

Casey leaned on the counter at Maggie's as she scanned for any interesting news from the Hudson Times. Even though she liked to keep herself busy any other time, Casey had decided to always take time in the morning to just sit and read the paper and enjoy her morning coffee; she liked to think it was good for her mental health.

So, this morning was no different. She read the paper so she'd know what was happening in her home town and enjoyed the coffee the man she was seeing had made for her. Maggie's was a nice little diner in itself, but Casey liked spending time there for other reasons too, one of the biggest being Tim Fleming. The man was working behind the counter, some kind of kitchen towel tossed over his shoulder so he could wipe his hands between jobs, and Casey liked exchanging a few words here and there with him when they could. This was her ideal way to spend her morning, since she didn't always wake up next to Tim.

Casey was always very impressed with the way Tim could multitask between stocking the shelves at the back of the store and then going to serve customers with delicious food without a pause, but not this morning.

"Tim, a customer said this was cold," Mara, one of the waitresses, said as she brought a plate full of food to the counter. It looked like it had been touched, but then someone had stopped midway. Tim turned around and glanced at the food, seeming tense and irritated about what he was hearing.

"For crying out loud..." Tim scoffed and took the plate. He took it to the window between the diner and the kitchen and rang the bell to let the chef know that he needed to be heard. "Hello? Chad? Where did you get this from? The freezer? Heat it up!"

This cold plate of food was no exception this morning; another customer had said the same thing and someone else had complained about the coffee, but all in all, it was pretty standard for any diner, Casey thought. Tim wasn't trained in hospitality industry, and if Casey was being honest, he didn't have very good people skills to begin with, but usually he was at least trying to make it seem like he knew what he was doing and making an effort. This morning, however, it seemed like Tim could have used a time out to rearrange his head.

"I'm this close to firing that guy," Tim commented, walking past Casey, and pinching the air between his thumb and index finger. "What kind of chef doesn't know that customers want their food heated and not cold?"

"Okay, I get what you're saying, but maybe take it down a notch," Casey suggested carefully, looking around. "You don't want to scare the customers away." She'd noticed that some people had seen the way Tim had scoffed to Chad through the window. The lazy atmosphere had been ruined for them.

"Nothing's working!" Tim said between his teeth, clearly frustrated.

"Okay," Casey decided as she sensed that it was time for that time out. "Jean, can you look after the counter?" she asked a waitress, who was making another pot of coffee.

"Sure thing," Jean assured her.

Casey then took a firm grip from Tim's arm and dragged him with her to the back of the store as it seemed there were no customers there looking for feed or tack. After she stopped, she stepped in front of Tim and demanded eye contact. "What is going on with you?" she asked.

"What do you mean? You've been here; you've seen it yourself! This morning has been a disaster! Nothing's going my way!" Tim explained, gesturing toward the diner. He felt it was no wonder he was feeling so tense.

"Yeah, I get that, but you've been like this for days now. And besides, you usually just deal with whatever needs to be dealt with and go on," Casey said. She'd figured maybe it would pass, but it seemed like Tim's mood was only getting worse by the day. "So... what gives?"

Tim looked around, seeming defensive, and huffed air through his lips as if he had no clue-or acting like he didn't know what Casey was talking about.

"It's my parents coming over, isn't it?" Casey guessed.

Ever since they'd declared their love for each other and decided to "go steady," Casey had wanted Tim to meet her parents. It wasn't that she needed their approval-she was a grown woman, after all-but she liked the idea of introducing them to each other so they wouldn't just be distant people she talked about. But since she'd suggested it, Tim had seemed he wasn't really into the idea of meeting them, and Casey was beginning to think it was going to be a mistake.

"They're already on their way, so I'd rather you tell me now you don't want to meet them than to act like an ass around them," she said. She was going to be disappointed, of course, but at the same time, she liked Tim being direct with her and not making it difficult for her just because he was afraid to hurt her feelings. She could take it; she was a big girl.

"It's not that," Tim replied.

Casey held his gaze to know whether it was true or not. Over time, she'd become better reading Tim, and it seemed like he became uncomfortable if he was lying and she could tell, so lately, whenever he was put into this position, he would always just tell the truth to avoid the dodging that would only make things worse. Casey saw that it was like training a dog to become a better pup.

"It's not," Tim repeated.

"Okay", Casey said, believing it now. "So, what is it then?"

Tim sighed. He really didn't want to get into it, but at the same time he couldn't hold it inside either; it was making him antsier than usual when all he wanted to do was scream out the frustration. "It's Lou. And Katie," he confessed, staring down now.

"Have things gotten worse for Katie?" Casey worried. Katie's accident was the reason why they'd hurried back from their trip, but after Tim had gone to see his granddaughter and Casey had asked how Katie had been, he'd said she was fine, and that had been that. Casey had been relieved, but maybe that had been premature.

"She's fine, I guess," Tim said, shrugging. "I wouldn't know, because Lou probably wouldn't even tell me." The bitterness crept into his tone again. Casey looked confused, so he felt like explaining it more. "She's mad at me. For going to see her, and, I guess, everything."

"What do you mean? She didn't like you visiting?" Casey asked, wondering what that was about. Tim was always at Heartland, and Lou had never had a problem with it. There had to be more to the story. From the way Tim was trying to come up with words, Casey knew he was probably trying to spin the story to his favor somehow, as he often did. Casey had noticed that sometimes Tim was saying something and it eventually turned out that he'd made it seem a little bit better than it really was, mostly to impress her. It wasn't news that Tim had a way of making things worse and had a hard time facing the consequences. He could go great lengths denying things just because they made him uncomfortable or look bad. Casey knew just how insecure the man could be.

What she also knew was that he had his past he wasn't proud of and it was still a struggle for him to be real with himself, but it was times when he was being honest and growing that Casey loved him the most. She liked to think that that was when he showed his true character.

"It's complicated," Tim finally sighed. The things Lou had said still rang in his head. He liked to act as if those didn't phase him, like they weren't something he'd heard so many times or thought through and he'd already become numb to them, but it did hurt, every time. Maybe more and more each time, because it just showed that no matter what progress he through he was making, he could never outrun the past; someone was always going to call him out for it.

"Maybe talking about it would make it easier?" Casey suggested. She cared about Tim, but she also cared about everyone he made contact with and could insert negativity into.

Tim lifted his eyes and looked at her. He wanted to talk about it because it haunted him, but at the same time he was scared Casey was going to side with Lou as people rarely saw his side of things.

"Not here," Tim finally decided, buying himself more time. "After work? Will you be at the rodeo grounds?"

"Yeah, that's where you'll find me," Casey confirmed. "I guess I'll see you there, then." She leaned in and gave him a peck on the cheek. "Just try to breathe and count to three, maybe?" she suggested, making Tim hum.

He watched Casey take the backdoor and head out, wondering if it was all because of the Lou thing after all. Now that Casey had mentioned her parents, he was beginning to wonder about that too. If no one liked him, how was he supposed to charm Casey's parents and make them think her seeing him was a good thing? Jack had never gone easy on him when he'd been seeing Marion, so had anything changed since then? Was he just the same lousy cowboy he had been over thirty years ago?


	86. Chapter 86

Still feeling guilty for getting "permission" to go out with Vanessa, Lou felt like she should be doing something in return for Peter and figured he could have some time to catch up with work while she volunteered to get Georgie from school. Lou was nervous and wondered how the day had gone, but since no one had called from school, it was probably safe to say that at least their older daughter hadn't gotten in trouble like she had before she'd been suspended from school.

Lou waited in the car for a while and scanned the school yard. It seemed she was a little early, so she had time to get a little breather and think about the night out and what Amy had said to her about seeing what it was like to talk to men in the bar. What she did know already was that she wasn't going to hook up with anyone, but what Lou didn't know was if she would even be appealing to anyone other than Peter. She'd been in that relationship for years now, so she could only think of herself as Peter's wife, and once upon a time, Peter had seen something in her that he'd found attractive.

But Lou knew she'd changed since then, so maybe men would no longer find her attractive for some reason. Lou couldn't really pinpoint why that was, but it almost seemed like her life had gotten more complicated since marriage and she wasn't so available to build her life around someone like she had been before, especially now that she was a mother. If she was to ever go out with someone else, that man would have to accept that the kids would come with a package. How many men were willing to take the whole deal?

For years now, Lou had settled into thinking that this was it for her; there was nothing more out there for her, except maybe professionally. She was married with two kids, and there hadn't been any talk about them getting any more siblings, but now that things were falling apart with Peter, it made Lou realize maybe this wasn't just it. Maybe there was a man out there who would want to marry her after her and Peter's divorce, and maybe she would end up having more kids with this new man.

Lou wasn't sure why the thought terrified her so much. It wasn't as if she hadn't done it once. But maybe it wasn't about that. Maybe it was the thought that she would be a divorcee. That meant becoming something she never wanted to be, but at the same time, it wasn't fully up to her, since there was another person in this marriage besides her, too. Maybe Peter wanted to move on.

She was startled from her thoughts by the sound of someone opening the car door. Lou looked on her right and saw Georgie sliding off her backpack from her shoulder and then sitting down on the seat next to her.

"Oh, it's you. I thought Peter was going to pick me up."

"Is it a problem?" Lou wondered.

"No, I just didn't expect to see you, is all," Georgie said, adjusting the bag on her lap and then pulling the door shut. She tugged out the seat belt and started to buckle up. Meanwhile Lou was waiting, looking at her.

"So...?"

Georgie looked at her mother, raising her eyebrows as she didn't know what Lou was after. "So... what?"

"How was your day?" Lou asked directly.

Georgie shrugged. "It was fine. Boring, but what else can you expect."

"Did the teachers say anything I should be aware of?" Lou wanted to know.

"I have some papers, but I'll give them to you at home," Georgie figured as she just wanted to go home. The school building was only another reminder how much she loathed going there.

"Okay," Lou replied, turning on the engine. "Anything else you want to talk about?"

She knew she was pushing it, but Lou still wasn't sure how else was she supposed to know what was going on with Georgie if she didn't want to tell herself. Lou remembered being a teenager too; it had been a time period when it had felt like Mom and Grandpa had bugged her about everything and she'd never been in the mood to talk about anything. So that was normal.

But when would she know where the line between normal and the longing for help but being too afraid to ask anything was? Georgie's past was complicated, and it didn't help that she didn't really trust almost anyone to tell about her worries until something happened. Lou would have loved nothing more than to help her before things got that bad; any parent probably would.

"Not really. Can we just go?" Georgie asked, hoping Lou would just drop it.

"Okay. But remember, if-"

"There's anything I want to talk about, I can just tell you. Yeah, I know."

Lou felt a little ashamed by this recognition. Was her approach too much? She wished she could be as good at it as Peter seemed to be. It felt almost unfair that she'd been there through almost everything for Georgie and tried her best to do the right thing, while Peter was partly absent and then swayed in during his visits and killed it, as if parenting was child's play. He was the good cop and she was the bad cop.

Switching the shift from P to D, Lou checked the mirrors and left the school parking lot, wondering if she'd ever made her mom feel this way. It wasn't a secret that after Tim had left, she had unloaded a lot of her angst on her mom-the parent who had stayed and gone through such a hard phase in her life-not realizing Mom had probably done her absolute best, especially considering the situation.

It was times like these when Lou wished her mother was still alive, not only because Lou wished she could ask for advice, but also because she wished she could apologize for everything she'd ever done to make Marion Fleming feel like an insignificant parent.


	87. Chapter 87

Walking through the passage under the benches at rodeo grounds, Tim could see Casey's silhouette leaning on the fence and watching the action at the arena. On the way here, Tim had tried to map out what exactly he was going to tell to Casey so it wouldn't make him feel worse than he already did, but he'd come up with nothing. It was hard to explain it all simply since there were years' worth of context that had to be taken into consideration.

Casey turned to look whose steps she was hearing, and when she saw Tim, her face lit up. "Hey. Come, look at this," she said, nodding toward the arena.

Tim walked beside her and put his arm behind her lazily while taking in the view. A couple of cowboys were trying out some horses he'd never seen before.

"What do you think? I just bought the buckskin, and Larry's helping me take him for a test drive to see how he's performing," Casey explained, and Tim's eyes went for the horse who was currently going after a calf with a roper on his back.

"Looks good to me," Tim commented after a while from what he could see.

"Yeah? I thought so too," Casey said. It was clear to Tim that she was excited about the new horse, almost so much so that he hoped she'd forgotten all about the reason he was here to begin with. But soon, she let him know she hadn't. "So... how are you feeling? Did you fire Chad after I left?"

"No," Tim said, feeling embarrassed about the whole thing. "I'm happy to tell you I was able to keep my cool. Maybe it helped that there were no more complaining customers after you left."

"Hmm. You're almost making it sound like maybe I was the distraction," Casey teased, still somewhat convinced that maybe Tim was feeling nervous around her because of her parents' visit even though he'd admitted that the situation with Lou was the reason why he was so antsy. Or maybe it was her that was feeling nervous. It had been a while since her parents had met any partner she'd had. Since Hank, there had been no one else besides Tim, and as a widower, it was strange to let your own parents know you had somewhat moved on.

"It's not you; trust me," Tim said, sighing. "It's the Lou thing."

"Uh-huh? Tell me about it, then," Casey urged gently. She felt like Tim would feel easier watching the horses instead of looking her in the eye, so they stayed positioned side by side.

"I don't think she's ever forgiven me about the past-you know, the problems I caused in the family before Jack kicked me out," Tim confessed. The more he thought about it, the more certain he was about it. "I always thought she had, because she was the one who contacted me when Marion passed away. I thought that was her burying the hatchet. And even since then, we've been fine. I mean, I'm the silent partner at Maggie's, for crying out loud. How was I supposed to know she was still having problems with me? I didn't have any reason to believe that. I'm beginning to think maybe she just wants my money, but not me."

"Come on, you don't actually think that's true, do you?" Casey said, looking at Tim even when he wasn't looking at her, but instead he hung his head low, feeling sad. "Didn't you tell me she didn't even know you were helping with the diner before she already had it? Or am I remembering it all wrong?"

"No. You remember it all right," Tim confirmed. He knew all these thoughts he had were stemming from his own insecurity; he was beginning to see problems where there had been none before. "I don't know. I just . . . I'm frustrated," he sighed.

When he got tense, Casey put her arm on his back and gently soothed him. "Have you ever talked about it? The past, I mean," she asked.

Tim tried to think back to years' and years' worth of moments with Lou. He couldn't come up with anything that would suggest he'd made peace with Lou, and all of the times he could consider as such moments, it was only somewhat assumed or implied.

"I guess we haven't. I've just never been one to talk about things. I feel like things will work themselves out if they're meant to be," Tim said, trying to explain why something so obvious had gone ignored for so many years.

"You don't say," Casey hummed, knowing all about how Tim chose to deal with problems. "Maybe that was the whole reason that got you into this mess to begin with: that you didn't talk. You let it bottle up and then it exploded when it was too late." That was the picture she'd gotten from the situation with Marion and Jack; Tim hadn't admitted that he needed help until he had been forced to get it.

"Yeah, I guess," Tim said, nodding a little.

"So maybe try it?" Casey suggested. "It's long overdue."

"She said she expects me to give some kind of apology or something," Tim confined, thinking how his sins were probably too big to forgive.

Casey thought about that. "You know what they say about that: the best apology is changed behavior."

"But that's the thing: I have changed," Tim said, getting frustrated again. "Even you said that when we first met! I've cleaned up my act; I'm not that sorry excuse for a father anymore. I'm a new man, or at least I try to be, but people insist that I'm the same damn wreck I was years ago, like there's been no progress whatsoever! I know I did things wrong; trust me. People never let me forget it. But I'm not planning to repeat those mistakes again."

Casey turned to face Tim now that it seemed like things were starting to heat up. "Okay, I get it, and I know you've changed. I wouldn't be with the man I used to know years ago," she replied, "but maybe it's not just about the problems you had. What about the problems other people had with you? Have you done anything about those?" She knew she was probably opening up some old wounds, but it had to be done if it meant things were going to be better.

"Of course. Do you think I would be where I am today if I hadn't?" Tim said. "I got my family back, so obviously things have changed. And I thought they were good until this Lou thing blew up in my face again. Maybe she's just frustrated and is taking it out on me; I don't know."

"I know I can never truly know about everything that's gone down, and I don't claim to know what's going on now either, but just knowing you and the Bartletts and seeing you together, I've formed these... views about how you all treat each other," Casey said, knowing it wasn't really her place, but she still wanted to challenge Tim to think about things. Maybe she was wrong or out of line, but then he could let her know and she would shut up. "And I see you guys are a family. I mean, I see how you love your girls and how you even care about Jack, despite what you try to lead people to believe. I know you love them; I really do. And I think they really love you too."

Tim seemed a little relieved, but Casey wasn't done yet. "But I think the relationship with a parent and a child is a very complicated one. A child can love their parent despite all the horrible things they do to them, and that can be hard." Casey saw Tim getting restless again, but she was hoping he would hear her out. "And maybe that's the case with Lou-maybe even with Amy; I don't know. There's always two sides to the story. You know yours, but do you know their side? You can't deny that when you want something, you've got to have it. You can be very pushy, and as your partner, I can have a better stand-point to push you back because we're in an equal position, but thinking things from a child's perspective... it can be difficult, as the parent is usually the authority."

"But Lou's a grown woman; if she wants to say something, she'll say it," Tim tried, scoffing. It wasn't as if Lou were helpless; she wouldn't have gotten so far in life if she was.

"Well, didn't she just do that-say something? Maybe for the first time in her life?" Casey guessed since it sounded, at least according to Tim, that it had been smooth sailing til now. "Maybe that's why it bothers you so much: you're not used to her doing that-you're not used to your children throwing that dynamic off. It might seem like odd timing, but taking into consideration how long she's put up with it and how she almost lost her own child few days ago, is it any wonder these things came to the surface, especially if there's some kind of trigger? I mean, just because she did it now and not when she was a teenager doesn't make it any less important. Would you have even taken her seriously if she had back then when you're not even taking her seriously now? She might not be a kid anymore, but she's still your child."

Tim was speechless. Maybe what Casey was saying made sense even if it hurt. He had to admit that it bothered him that Lou had a grip on him and he'd been thrown out of Heartland again. With Jack, Tim had eventually admitted, he'd had a good reason: Jack had protected his own daughter and grandchildren from the chaos Tim had caused. Thinking now, he would never want Peter to do that to Georgie and Katie either, and he would be willing to kick him out too if things came to that.

It wasn't exactly the same situation with Lou in the sense that he wasn't drunk and therefore his grandchildren weren't in danger, but maybe he was still the same SOB who insisted he had a right to his family even when he wasn't acting fairly. What right did he have that went over his family's rights?

"Oh, god. I'm a mess," Tim just sighed.

"Even messes can be cleaned up," Casey said, leaning against Tim under his arm.


	88. Chapter 88

Peter stared through the Dude Ranch cabin window, watching as a father, who was staying with his family at the other cabin, was showing his son how to do s'mores over the fire pit close to the dock. Apparently, the boy was more interested in eating the marshmallow and chocolate individually and leaving the graham cracker to others than he was in putting them together, which made his father laugh.

Even though he couldn't hear what they were saying, Peter could still sense the warmth between these family members. He couldn't help but think about his own girls and how much he loved spending time with them.

He liked teaching them things but also liked when they taught him something, like whenever Georgie told him about a new trick she'd learned on trick-riding rehearsals or Katie showed him a plié she'd perfected at ballet. He was always so impressed by both of them, even when he didn't know much about trick-riding, ballet, or whatever they'd learned. The enthusiasm on their faces whenever they showed him anything made Peter realize that it was big for them, and so it was big for him too.

When his phone rang, Peter was brought back to the current moment. As he reached for his phone, he was reminded that he'd been waiting for a phone call from his boss, and the reason he'd been looking outside through the window was that he'd been trying to distract himself from the wait.

"Hey. I've been waiting for your call," he said. "LeAnn said you were busy with something, so thanks for getting back to me."

 _"We were in the meeting,"_ his boss said from the other end without any formalities.

"In _the_ meeting?" Peter checked, trying to think back what day it even was. Had he lost track of time? "Wasn't that supposed to be tomorrow?"

 _"No. It was supposed to be today,"_ the man from the other end confirmed. Peter tried not to sigh too heavily.

"Right," Peter said, now recalling that it was in fact supposed to be today. But at the same time it concerned him; if the meeting had been today, he'd missed it-this wasn't going to be good. "So... uh, did you get the presentation I sent you last night, and did you go over it at the meeting?"

 _"I did, yeah. But we went with Johnson's instead,"_ the man said.

"Wha–what are you talking about? I worked on mine for days," Peter said, squeezing his neck in frustration. He knew he'd been absent for a few days, but at the same time, he felt somewhat betrayed as people had promised they would give him a chance to prove himself. This was something he'd been working toward for months, and his boss knew that, so why the sudden change when he'd promised to deliver? "Why did you go with Johnson's? I thought we agreed-"

 _"Because he was here,"_ the boss said bluntly, interrupting him. _"Look, Peter... this isn't going to work. I'm sorry, but if you want to participate, you have to be here."_

Peter knew what his boss was saying made sense, and in an ideal world, he would be able to juggle his work and home life perfectly, but this was not an ideal world. There was only one of him, and he needed to be where he needed to be.

* * *

Jack drove his truck to the Dude Ranch and checked the side mirrors to make sure his cargo was still intact. He was bringing more hay to the trail ride horses at the cabin as part of his daily chores and was driving the road as slowly as he could, making a mental note to bring in some gravel to put on the holes to take care of the bumps.

When he drove in through the gate, he noticed Peter chopping firewood. After parking his truck, Jack stepped out and grabbed his gloves from the dashboard.

"You know you don't have to do that, right?" Jack said. He pushed the door shut and walked over to Peter. "I mean, I'm sure Lou appreciates it, seeing as we're somewhat shorthanded, but you're a guest, not a ranch hand."

The younger man stopped what he was doing, out of breath. "I know. But I just felt like doing something."

He realized it probably looked strange, considering there was plenty of firewood available, carefully arranged against the walls of the cabins.

"You want something to do? I got you something to do!" Jack said, almost delighted how easy Peter would make it for him. "Grab a pair of gloves from my glove department; I could use some help with the hay I just brought," he continued, gesturing toward the tarp covering the bales.

Peter put the ax away and walked over to Jack's truck, sweaty and somewhat tired already but still willing to help. Jack kept an eye on him even when he went to open the tailgate as he sensed something was off. A man like Peter would go on a jog if he was feeling restless, but chopping would voluntarily seemed like something else to him.

"We'll move them there," Jack instructed when Peter came to help with the tarp after putting on the gloves.

"Okay," Peter replied curtly.

When it seemed like Peter wasn't in the mood for chitchat, Jack knew he had to ask how he was doing despite it. "Something bothering you?"

"I don't know," Peter said. "I guess it shouldn't anymore."

"What does that mean?" Jack asked when Peter's cryptic way of talking was getting over his head. Maybe he was missing something. Whatever it was, Jack just hoped everything was okay.

"I quit my job," Peter confessed. Jack looked surprised. "And please don't tell Lou. I haven't told anyone yet. Except you now."

"How did that happen?" Jack asked, not wanting to speak out one way or another; he wasn't sure how Peter himself felt about it. From what he could tell, Peter was probably conflicted.

"I needed to be here, but they insisted me being there, so... I quit." Peter put it simply even though Jack could tell it must have been anything but simple to him.

"That's a big decision," Jack commented. He wasn't even going to ask what Peter was going to do next, because he probably had no clue, as Jack would assume this had taken him by surprise too.

"Yeah. I'm not sure if I should have just done it sooner. I mean, it would make sense if I had, right?" he said, almost checking from Jack if what he'd done was a mistake or finally something people would actually applaud him for.

He'd always gotten the impression that he was bad for wanting to work in Vancouver, so people were probably going to make him feel like it was about time for him to make this decision. This was something he needed to process, even though it probably seemed like a no-brainer for others.

"We all do what we gotta do when we gotta do it,"Jack said, trying to be as unbiased as possible. "But sounds to me that you made a decision based on what was most important to you."

"Yeah. I'd like to think so too," Peter said, helping Jack with the bales. "I got a call from my boss, and he said they'd gone with someone else's presentation no matter how hard I'd worked for mine with what I had, and it made me realize that I'm replaceable. This job has given me an outlet, I guess, but... I guess I realized it's not the only way to do that. People won't care if I'm there or not; only I cared because it was something I thought was important to me. But if it was, I would have gone back to Vancouver by now, right? But I didn't."

Jack let Peter talk as they unloaded the hay.

"Instead I'm here. Because of Lou and the girls..." he drifted off.

"Well, I know for a fact that around here, with them, you will never be replaceable. That's for damn sure," Jack commented. He'd seen how many times the girls had missed Peter and how many times Lou could have used Peter by her side. Jack knew it wasn't his place to be bitter for them for it, especially now that it seemed like Peter was turning things around. If anything, it was better to encourage him.

"Thanks, Jack," Peter said, appreciating what he'd said as he'd had doubts about it over the years-and even now. But it felt like within these last few days, he was getting his purpose back somehow.

"A Winston Churchill quote comes to mind," Jack added. " _'We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.'_ Maybe it's time to give that giving a chance," he continued, giving Peter a little wink of encouragement.

Peter hummed and nodded. "Yeah... maybe."

He wanted to feel sure about it, but he wasn't there yet. There were too many things hanging in the air at the moment for him to feel calm.


	89. Chapter 89

Once Georgie and Lou got home, the girl kicked her shoes off and tossed her backpack on the chair at the mudroom before heading straight to the fridge. Lou cleared her throat, giving Georgie a hint.

"Oh yeah, the papers," Georgie remembered then.

It wasn't exactly what Lou had tried to imply, but her giving the papers wasn't exactly a wrong move either. "Yeah, and maybe you can put your shoes where they belong too," Lou added.

Adults really loved to complain about shoes, Georgie thought, but instead of being passive-aggressive this time, she just did what she was told so she wouldn't be punished again like she'd been with Jack.

"Here." She handed the papers from the backpack to Lou and then put her shoes next to the boots and slippers. "The teacher needs them signed for tomorrow."

"Okay, well, I'll just give them a read and show them to your father too," Lou said. "You'll get them back by the end of the night."

Georgie nodded and went back to the fridge while Lou walked inside, eyeing the papers. "You want me to make you something to eat?" she offered, flipping through the documents she'd just received.

"There's sandwiches in the fridge," Lisa's voice instructed from the living room. Lou walked inside and saw Lisa sitting by the living room table, on her laptop, while Katie was playing with her dolls next to the fireplace.

"Oh, hey, you two," Lou said and looked at Katie and Lisa with a smile on her face. Lisa had been kind enough to look after Katie while she picked Georgie from school. "How are things here?"

"Katie lost her tooth," Lisa shared with the girl's mother. It was a big moment, and it was a pity it had happened so fast and Lou had missed it, but the tooth had fallen out very unexpectedly.

Lou looked amazed. "You did?" She looked at Katie. "Oh, wow!"

"It got loose when we were eating," Katie said. She didn't even seemed bothered by it. "Can we put it under my pillow so the tooth fairy can find it tonight?" she wanted to know.

"Of course," Lou assured her.

"You were such a brave girl," Lisa praised her goddaughter. "I'm sure the tooth fairy will be pleased to find the tooth tonight."

Lou walked over to Katie and put the papers down for now so she could check the hole between Katie's teeth that she so proudly presented her. "You're such a big girl already." She couldn't believe Katie was already losing her teeth at this age as it was almost as if it had been yesterday when she had been just a toddler and crying when getting her first teeth.

"Lou," Georgie started casually, coming from the kitchen and holding a sandwich, "I was thinking, now that I've obligated your wishes by apologizing Olivia and I'm in the academic program... could I use the internet? I mean, I need it for school," she continued.

Part of it was true; she really did need internet for some of the homework she needed to do, but more than that, she just wanted to have contact with her friends. Jade had dropped by few times, but it was different to talk to her once a day compared to the usual phase they had in messaging. Now when she was grounded with no phone or laptop with an internet connection, she barely interacted with anyone but her family.

"Yeah, okay." Lou figured it was reasonable enough. The goal was to support Georgie with her school work, and these days that meant she needed to have access to the internet. Georgie's face lit up, but her celebration was premature as Lou continued. "But you do it under someone's surveillance. You can use my laptop."

"What?! Why not just allow me to use it in my own room, on my own laptop?" Georgie had a hard time understanding Lou's restrictions. "It's not like I'm doing anything bad on the internet!"

"Because you're still grounded," Lou reminded her. "And it's only for your school work, not for Facebook or whatever else you do online. Those are the terms."

"That's not fair!" Georgie argued.

"You asked me if you could use the internet and I said yes. I know it's not ideal, but that's what being grounded means," Lou explained calmly, even though she didn't expect Georgie to understand, especially when she was this upset.

"You just don't want me to have any social life!" Georgie yelled while stomping off to her bedroom.

Lou wasn't exactly surprised by her reaction, but she still felt bad. What Georgie had said wasn't true; of course she didn't want to keep her from her friends. But there had to be some way to punish her, and this seemed effective as Georgie's was clearly struggling with it.

Katie sat surrounded by her dolls, somewhat lost, and looked at Lou. "Why is Georgie so mad?"

"Because she's grounded. She did something very naughty, and now she doesn't get to do nice things because of it. That's what happens if you don't play nice," Lou explained calmly even though she felt sad on the inside.

She was hoping this would be a teaching moment for Katie, even though it felt somewhat bad to use Georgie as a bad example. But that's how younger siblings usually learned- through their older siblings.

Lisa looked at Lou sympathetically as she got up and took the papers. "It'll be all right, Lou."

"I know. I just... raising a teenager is hard," Lou said, sitting next to Lisa. "I've been thinking about Mom and how awful I must have been when I was Georgie's age. I wish I could just apologize to her. She did her best."

"Well, no one ever really understands why their parents are the way they are before they become adults or parents themselves. I know it's probably hard to remember sometimes, but Georgie does love you even if she is upset," Lisa reminded her because she guessed it was what Lou was probably worried about.

"Yeah, I guess so," Lou said, thanking Lisa with a little smile, even though it still weighed on her.

* * *

In Georgie's room, the mood was different. She was angry, and she knew it wasn't just because of what Lou said. Going back to school made her annoyed on its own, but it wasn't just that. Returning to school grounds after the things that had happened had reminded her of her first day at school ever; it had had the same vibe as Georgie had hardly known anyone from the program today.

She could still remember going to school that morning almost ten years ago and being all excited about it. Her foster mother had assured her that she would make many friends, but instead some of the children had picked on her.

At the time, Georgie couldn't understand why the other kids were so mean to her, even when she hadn't done anything to them, and thought there had to be something wrong with her. She'd never told her foster parents about it because she'd been so embarrassed, and the bullying had continued all her life, really. Eventually she'd begun saying things back and sometimes even wrestled with other students when things got heated. Other days had been better, but the bullying had never really stopped completely, and she could always feel other children watching her with judgment in their eyes.

But now, for the first time in her life, she actually had friends, and she couldn't be happier about that. The bad thing was that being grounded made her feel like she was back to being lonely and she had to keep on fighting when she'd thought she wouldn't have to do that anymore.

This time she wasn't up against other kids, but her own parents.


	90. Chapter 90

If Lou had thought lunch with Vanessa had been awkward, it was almost nothing compared to the dinner the family had that night. Georgie was still mad at her for not getting free internet access, and for some reason, Jack and Peter kept quiet too. Since Tim wasn't sitting at the end of the table, yapping on with his usual topics, and Amy and Ty were at the trailer, the room stayed quiet.

Everyone could sense the tension, but no one said anything. It wasn't until Katie realized she could blow juice through the hole between her row of teeth that someone said something.

"Honey, please don't play with your food," Lou chastened her daughter gently.

"Sorry, Mommy," Katie apologized, but she kept touching the sore spot in her mouth thoughtfully. "Do you think the tooth fairy will find the way here?"

It made Lisa smile as this was obviously a big deal for her god-daughter.

"I would think so," Lisa replied when she saw that Lou had her mouth full and was unable to answer right away. "Your mom and auntie Amy had their teeth collected by a tooth fairy once too."

"And even your grandma Marion before them," Jack added. It was a shame Katie had never met Marion, but Jack tried to keep her present through mentions and stories whenever he could.

Lou smiled a little and nodded along.

"What is this I'm hearing? Your tooth came out?" Peter checked with Katie. He'd been there when Katie had brushed her teeth, and they'd realized one of her teeth was loose, but he wasn't up to date on this latest development.

Katie nodded and gave her father a big grin to show how it was gone.

"Oh, wow! Did it hurt?" Peter asked, feeling a little lighter now that he had something else to think about besides quitting his job and needing to tell Lou about it.

"Not really," Katie replied. "We put it under my pillow with Lisa, so the tooth fairy can come and get it and put money there."

"That's good," Peter said, hashing the food on his plate. "I'm sure she'll be grateful to have your tooth for her collection."

He then got into thinking how the situation with work made him look at his financial situation differently. Good thing Katie didn't have many teeth to spare, or he would be broke sooner now that he didn't have any income...

The conversation died, but now that someone had said something, not saying anything made things even more awkward, so Jack decided to intrude. "How was the program at school, Georgie?" he asked.

"I don't wanna talk about it," the girl replied, moving her food around on her plate. It was obvious she wasn't in the mood to be here, but the family had insisted that she participate, and disobeying would probably only make matters worse for her.

Jack looked at Lou, raising his eyebrows in a questioning matter. Lou's eyes gave him a signal of "I'll tell you later," so the man at the end of the table dropped the topic.

"I would actually like to announce something," Lisa said, helping her husband out by trying to make the atmosphere a little bit more relaxed. "My nephew, Ben, is coming here next week, and he'll start helping with the ranch work."

"Ben?" Lou furrowed her brows. "Wow. It's been a while since I've heard about him," she continued, remembering how stubborn Lisa's nephew had been and how often Amy had lost her patience with him. In a way, her sentence was an invitation for Lisa to tell more about what Ben had been up to and she also wanted to check they weren't hiring someone who was only going to make matters worse.

"Yeah, I haven't seen him in person for a while either," Lisa admitted, "but I've still kept in contact with him. I think he could really use a place like Heartland now."

Lisa's statement made Lou curious. _Why would a place like Heartland be ideal for Ben?_ But before she could ask, Jack continued.

"We were thinking that he could stay in Amy's old room."

"Sounds reasonable," Lou agreed. "I have to ask, though... he's not having any problems, is he?" she checked. Lisa looked at her, mid-chewing her dinner, wondering what she meant by that. "I mean, you said Ben could use a place like Heartland. Makes me wonder if he's having problems with-I don't know-drinking, drugs... the law..."

It was often that Heartland not only helped the horses that were brought in, but people too. Once upon a time, that someone had been Scott; then it had been Ty; and after them, many other people who'd come to stay at the ranch. Lou didn't usually have a problem with it, but now that she had children to think about, it was different.

"Oh, no." Lisa realized what Lou was after. She shook her head to really highlight her words and brush off any suspicion around Ben. "Nothing like that. He's just been... going through a lot. He lost his horse, Red, and his hearing too. I was thinking a break from the usual surroundings and some ranch work could be something to get his mind off of things."

"Oh! I'm sorry to hear that," Lou said sympathetically. "And you might be right. Not to mention, Amy and Grandpa really do need the help, so... why not keep it in the family, you know?" She smiled a little.

Lisa was almost shocked at the mention of family. _Lou considered her a member of the family?_ Jack noticed the expression on Lisa's face and gave her a knowing smile. He knew how Lisa had been struggling with feeling like she didn't belong in this family, so this kind of mention was a big deal for her.

"Yeah," Lisa replied, smiling back, but unable to utter anything further despite usually being very good at vocalizing her thoughts.

For the rest of dinner, Lisa wasn't sure how to sit still, as she'd often thought gestures like these were going to be tough to expect from Lou. Maybe there really was change in the air.


	91. Chapter 91

Tim closed the tailgate of his truck after unloading some things he would be using with the rodeo school early next Monday there at the rodeo grounds. He usually did this on Sundays, after dinner at Heartland, but while he didn't have that to attend this week-since he wasn't welcome at the ranch at the moment-he still had other plans for the weekend.

Casey's parents were coming to Hudson, and she wanted Tim to meet them and them to meet Tim. He was nervous, of course, seeing that the last time he had met someone's parents was when Marion had taken him to Heartland, and even though they'd ended up getting married eventually, the meeting hadn't gone well.

Lyndy had been nice, but Jack had been ruthless as he'd been very protective of his only daughter to begin with, but knowing Tim's reputation on the circuit hadn't helped his case. While Tim had tried to come across as someone who would win his future in-laws over in no time, he'd had to admit that being under Jack's scrutiny had made him re-think his decision to marry into the family at the time.

But that had been over thirty years ago, and so many things had happened since then. While Tim had more confidence now, he also had more things to be insecure about as his past wasn't squeaky clean.

Tim didn't know what to expect when it came to Casey's parents. All he knew about Casey's family was that she had a brother, Curtis, and that the family had ties to the rodeo scene. Hopefully that meant it would be easy for him to bond with her parents, but then again, Jack had had ties to the rodeo scene too, and they hadn't gotten along...

"Hey, you." Tim heard Casey's voice as she walked up to him from the benches. Tim turned around and quickly placed his arm around her as she came to see what he was up to. She glanced at his truck and saw that his tail was empty from the junk he'd brought with him. "I'm done for the day. Are you leaving, too?"

"Uh-huh." Tim nodded. "You know, I was just thinking about you."

"Oh yeah?" Casey said, smiling and stepping in front of Tim. She wrapped her hands under his jacket and behind his back so she could get a firm hold of him. "What about me?"

"About your parents coming over," Tim replied, but he decided to keep the rest to himself. He didn't want to come across as the worried man that he was, because it wasn't probably the kind of guy Casey wanted to take home to meet her parents. "I thought I'd bring the props here now so I don't have to do it on Sunday. More time for you and for us."

"Sounds good." Casey was pleased to hear Tim had thought this through, especially because earlier that day she'd had doubts about that. She gave him a kiss before she was reminded of something. "Oh, hey, speaking of which-could you maybe come and help me with the AC at my trailer? I can't have my parents there with it being broken; they'll boil to death in this heat. I've been fine on my own as I can just dress scantily and keep one of the windows open during the night, but I don't want that for my parents. You'd be doing me a huge favor." She used her best pleading eyes.

"I have no idea what you just said; you lost me at you dressing scantily," Tim admitted. Casey smirked and gave him a soft nudge, which made Tim laugh. He then continued: "I can come and fix your AC, but... I also have a proposition for you."

Tim felt like this was his place to shine. He had an opportunity to make an impression on Casey's parents in a way he hadn't been able to impress Marion's family back in the day.

"Oh? What is it?" Casey asked.

"Well, why don't you just bring your parents to Big River?" Tim suggested. "I know we don't live together, but I'd hate to think you'd squeeze three people in that trailer of yours when I have guest rooms available for all of you just outside the town. So... what do you say?"

"Oh, wow." Casey seemed surprised but somewhat impressed. "It sounds like an offer I can't refuse."

"Then don't," Tim tried to persuade her. "I want your parents to feel welcomed."

"Okay. It's on." Casey accepted the offer and seemed relieved to have one thing off her shoulders. "But what did you mean by having guest rooms available for all...?" she had to ask. "Does that mean you and I don't get to share a room?"

Tim's lips curved up. "Well, I mean, we can, if you want to. I just don't want to give the wrong idea with your parents being down the hall and all."

Even though it had been over thirty years since Tim Fleming had met Jack Bartlett for the first time as a father-in-law to-be, it seemed like his principles had stuck with him and Tim still thought that he was supposed to keep up this illusion that he wasn't intimate with his girlfriend at the time. Tim remembered how Jack had made him sleep on the guest room when he had stayed at Heartland back in the day, but of course, Tim hadn't played by the rules and instead had sneaked into Marion's bedroom when he'd heard the old man's snore down the hall.

"Oh, please, I'm not seventeen," Casey scoffed playfully. She knew her parents weren't that conservative. "We're all adults here. Besides, it's not our first time in the rodeo, if you know what I mean, so whatever worries they might have, it's too late already."

"In that case- _mi_ bedroom _es tu_ bedroom," Tim joked and kissed a giggling Casey.

Maybe this meeting-her-parents thing at an older age had its perks, after all.


	92. Chapter 92

"Can we check one more time that the tooth is still under the pillow?" Katie asked when Lou and Peter were putting her to bed. Lou smiled and shook her head, feeling amused; this was Katie's third time asking. But then again, this was all exciting for her. This was the first tooth she'd lost; of course she wanted to make sure she did things right.

"Let's see," Peter, who was sitting on the side of her bed, said and took a peek under the pillow with his daughter. The tooth was still there, like it had been ever since Katie and Lisa had placed it there earlier that day. "See? Now it's time to close your eyes and start sleeping. The sooner you fall asleep, the faster the fairy gets here."

"Why can't I just stay up and wait till she comes? I want to meet her," Katie wanted to know. "I have questions."

Peter tried to think what to say, but then Lou pitched in.

"Well... the thing is... the fairies, they're shy," Lou said, sitting on the other side of the bed and tucking Katie in again. "That's why they come at night, because they don't want to be seen. And it's all very secretive how they work. The fairy can't come until you've fallen asleep; it's a rule set by the Fairy Association."

"Okay." Katie seemed to understand, even though she looked a little bit disappointed. She took a better position under her cover, burying her head to her pillow, and prepared to fall asleep. "Good night, Mommy! Good night, Daddy!"

"Good night, sweet pea," Lou said and kissed Katie's forehead. She made a mental note to come back later and slide the money under Katie's pillow so the girl would find the tooth fairy's payment in the morning.

On the other side of the bed, Peter turned off the night light and got up. "Good night, Katie Kat." He couldn't help but think that he'd given up his job for a good reason; it felt good to be able to put his own daughter to bed and know that he was able to see her first thing in the morning, among other things.

Of course, life wasn't as simple as this. He still had to figure out what he was going to do next, but at least for tonight, Peter wanted to focus on his family and for once not stress about work. He hadn't done that for a while.

Lou and Peter then sneaked out from Katie's room and closed the door behind them.

"Well, that was easy," Lou commented. It often took hours before Katie thought she should get some sleep as there always seemed to be so much done just when it was time for bed. By the time Katie had arranged her stuffed animals in the arm chair in her room or held a tea party for Remi, it was usually Lou who had a hard time keeping her eyes open.

"I think the fairy thing really helped," Peter agreed and smiled. "Too bad we don't have that trick up our sleeves every night."

"Yeah. But I would think it would get old after a while," Lou replied, standing before Peter in the nook of the hallway.

"Probably," Peter agreed. "Hey, what were those papers you wanted me to look at? The ones from Georgie's school."

"Oh, yeah, hang on," Lou said, holding her index finger in the air before she backed toward her bedroom and went in.

Peter took a few lazy steps toward the room, suddenly revisiting so many memories that had happened in there. There were memories of love, such as the first time Peter had been allowed to stay over after he'd gotten Jack's approval despite being known as "the Oil Guy"; memories of happiness, like when Katie had been born when Lou hadn't been able to make it to the hospital; but also many fights and strained evenings, when they had disagreed on something and gone to bed angry and distant.

It was strange that he missed this room despite it being small and feeling like he'd been some kind of wild animal caged in it on most occasions as it had been the only space he could call "his" withing these 600 acres, but at the same time, it represented his place in this family; this room had meant he was married to Lou and a father to their children. But now, he was just a father, who was staying few kilometers away from the actual family ranch. He barely had one foot in.

Of course, when he'd been in the family by being Lou's husband, he'd often felt like an outsider even then, but at least he'd been closer to the girls. He couldn't help but wonder if that was something unattainable now.

"Here you go," Lou said and brought the papers to Peter. She handed them over and let him skim them through, while it was her time to revisit a memory of her own: a dream of hers. Sure, it wasn't real, but it felt more real now that Peter was in her doorway after not being so close to her room for a while.

Thankfully, the situation wasn't similar as Peter's gaze was fixed on the papers instead of her, as Lou didn't know what would have happened if he'd shown more attention to her.

It was sad to admit, but it was the truth; Lou was starving for attention-had been for a while now. That was probably why going out scared her, because even though she would never admit it to anyone out loud, she knew that if a guy would approach her and say the things she wanted to hear, she might just let him sweep her off her feet, which was strange because after the talk with Vanessa, Lou had thought Peter still was her go-to guy when it came to intimacy.

But what if it was that way because she didn't know any better? What if someone else would prove her wrong? Maybe Vanessa had a point.

Lou had to admit that when she'd been seeing guys in the past, things had never gotten that serious as fast as they had with Peter. Even with Carl, things had taken their time and that had been fine with her; she hadn't been in a hurry to move things along because she wasn't exactly sure what she wanted and it seemed like it had been okay in that relationship. They'd been just fine with going to theaters and holidays without making any plans about The Future. It had seemed like being by each other and doing things together had been enough.

But when Carl had proposed to her out of the blue, the thing that had made Lou say yes despite the fact that they hadn't really talked about getting married before that moment, was the fact that Carl had wanted her. How could she have said no to that? For what had seemed like the first time ever, she'd been validated by another person, which she'd thought to be the solution to her insecurity.

Now, looking back, she knew that had been a mistake on so many levels, and when she'd given Carl's ring back, she'd been back to square one, back to figuring things out.

Then she'd fallen for Scott-again. Things had seemed great; in fact, Scott had confessed his love for her and sworn to follow her to New York if that was what it took for him to be able to be with her, and again, Lou had felt wanted. And when things had been in danger of falling apart, Lou had done the only thing she thought there was to do to lock Scott down so he too wouldn't slip through her fingers as he'd been one of the best things that had ever happened to her: she'd proposed to him.

But Lou realized now that Scott had been able to see through her and so he'd declined the proposal. That had been a smart move on his part, as they wouldn't have built their marriage on the right foundation, but it had broken Lou once again. Why did it seem like no one ever truly wanted her for the right reasons?

Brokenhearted, Lou had sworn not to get mixed in with relationship drama again as it seemed like the universe was giving her a strong signal: she wasn't cut out for this. That had been part of the reason why she'd been so mad at Lisa for hooking her up with P.W., or who she would later come to known as Peter Walter. But after their back and forth messaging, Lou had felt the pull-again. She'd known she was playing with fire, especially when it turned out she and Peter were on opposite sides on many issues, but just like before, there was a guy who had his eyes on her; that wasn't something Lou could resist.

The rest was history, and not completely the happy kind. Again, it had come to an engagement and later to a rushed wedding, which made Lou realize she still hadn't found the solution to her problem, so she was due to repeat the same cycle until the cycle was ready to throw her out. And that had indeed happened, since she and Peter were now separated, maybe even getting divorced.

So, what if the dream hadn't been about Peter at all, but about her needs, and Peter was just playing a part she needed to fill with someone? Was she too hung up on Peter to realize maybe there was something else out there for her?

But what really was the problem? It seemed like no matter the guy, it all seemed to come down to her. What did she really want, and more importantly, what did she really need?

"Okay, so it seems like all I have to do is sign this, right?" Peter said after a while, bringing Lou back to the current moment. He glanced at her over the papers, and to Lou's relief, she didn't feel the glow the dream had brought with it anymore. She was back to reality, back to facing the fact that maybe Peter deserved someone better than her.

"Uh, yeah. I'll get you a pen," Lou said and went to one of her drawers. While she did that, Lou could feel the need to say something to Peter, almost as if to share this revelation of hers as it seemed like it was something they'd touched upon few days ago and she'd been reluctant to face. "Here."

She handed the pen to Peter, and after he'd signed them against the wall, he handed them back to Lou. "All set."

"Thanks." Lou put the props aside. She would take the signed papers to Georgie and clear the air with her too, but not until she had this conversation with Peter. "Listen... there's something I want say-no, something I need to say."

Peter looked at Lou, wondering what this was about. "Okay. I'm listening."

"About this fight we had at the hospital," Lou started, and when she saw Peter's heart sink through his eyes, she continued, "I know, but I'm not going to repeat what I said; I just wanted to say that... you were right."

"About what?" Peter frowned.

"That I do often think that I'm a better person than I am," Lou admitted, feeling like saying it out loud shifted something in her. "And I'm sorry about what I said about you having two failed marriages behind you. That was uncalled for. I'm sorry I implied that it was all your fault. I don't pretend to know what happened with you and Eden, and it's not my business anyway, but I know what happened with you and me, and most importantly I know my part, which is why I know that... I didn't make things easy."

Peter was stunned and didn't know what to say. But that seemed to be okay, as Lou seemed like she wasn't even done yet.

"And today, at dinner, what Vanessa was kind of implying the girls' night out to be just made me think about us, and where we are in this... relationship," Lou explained, subconsciously fiddling with her bare ring finger. "I don't know what's your, um, situation, but I just wanted to say that if you think there's someone out there for you, someone better than me, then... I'm not holding you back."

Peter shook his head. "Lou, I said there's no one; that's not why I took the ring off-"

"But if there was," Lou cut him off to make her point, "I think you deserve whatever it is you want in life, and I guess I've just realized that it most likely isn't me. You don't deserve someone making you miserable about the things you choose to do or choose to be. We all need someone who supports us with whatever we're doing and makes us feel good about the choices we make. All I've ever done is make you miserable; I realize that now. And I think the reason for that is that... I don't know what I want, which is why I've decided to do some soul searching and figure that out. So... I guess what I'm really trying to say is that... you don't have to feel obligated to me anymore. You're free to do whatever you want."

Taking all that in made Peter quiet. He couldn't even properly wrap his mind around all of it, but he just knew that this wasn't the time to tell Lou that he'd quit his job, as it seemed like Lou's words were something he needed to chew on a little at first.

What he knew, though, was that it completely set him back in his thoughts regarding to Lou. Was she saying that they were "free to move on," as in she wanted to move on too, maybe even do some "soul searching" tomorrow night?

Peter wasn't sure what he was supposed to say, so all he said was: "Okay. Thanks, I guess?" He didn't know if he was thankful for her blessing, per se, but at least she'd admitted that she'd been acting poorly toward him, which was something he appreciated hearing.

"Okay. I'm glad I got that out," Lou echoed, sighing a little as she felt like some sort of weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

Yes, she was about to lose something, but right now she tried to think that she shouldn't be so afraid of failing as failing often taught her more than succeeding did.

Maybe that was the solution to her problems.


	93. Chapter 93

_Hey, everyone! Sorry, it's been a while since I've done an update, but I've been writing my annual Heartland Christmas story, which has taken time from writing this story. That is also why I'm taking a little break from In Deep Water, because things are busy with work/life in general and also because I want to get that story out before Christmas - but fear not; I will be back to this story after the holidays :) There's still so much to tell! Thanks for sticking around, and I hope you enjoy._

* * *

After Peter had left for the day and was on his way to the Dude Ranch, Lou climbed up the stairs to Georgie's room. It was almost time for bed, but she could see that her daughter hadn't yet turned in based on the light that crept under her door.

 _Good_ , Lou thought. She really didn't want to end this day feeling heavy again, knowing that her daughter was mad at her for what seemed to her like a reasonable thing to do from a parenting point of view.

Not to mention Georgie needed to get these papers, and if Lou knew her daughter at all, she would sleep as long as possible in the morning till she was already running late for school and would therefore skip brushing her teeth or eating her breakfast-two of many things Lou felt were needed for any child to have some routine in this crazy life that they seemed to be leading.

It had always been about trying to maintain balance and routine when it came to her kids, but Lou knew they hadn't always done a very good job at that with Peter, especially lately.

The separation had made Katie and Georgie feel the ripples, and now Katie's accident had set another set of waves that they were all suffering from, one that had no doubt become the shape of Georgie hitting Olivia in the school and acting out at home.

Thankfully, at least something good had come out of it, as Lou felt like they hadn't been a unit like this before, not for years, if ever. While she and Peter had decided to take few steps back from each other as a couple, Lou still felt they were both very committed raising these girls into good people. A big reason for that was probably the fact that Peter was here, where he was supposed to be to fully be on board with the family life and to be able to know the backgrounds of every decision before any choice was made.

Before, Lou had always had to give him the cliff notes version that really didn't do justice for all the things she'd had to go through as a present parent. This wasn't a business deal where difficult decisions were made for someone else and usually through someone else and where you didn't always see the outcome because you weren't there to see how it affected the people who had to adapt to the situation, whether it was ideal for them or not.

But this was, hopefully, a new chapter that took them toward something greater, side by side, as a family.

While knocking, Lou glanced at the papers in her hand and thought about the moment she'd just had with Peter in her own bedroom. The man hadn't said much, but what he had said was giving Lou the impression that he was somewhat surprised by her admitting being wrong on some things, so maybe he just needed some time to take that in before he could really talk about it.

Or at least Lou couldn't think of another reason for Peter's silence.

I mean, he no longer loved her... right? At least not in the way she'd thought he had when they'd said their vows. Had he ever? Lou wasn't sure how to feel about Peter right now, so maybe it was good that they were trying to think about things on their own. Maybe it had been majorly in her head; maybe he had a different love story to tell than her, if anyone ever asked.

"Who is it?" Georgie said from her room, snapping Lou out of her thoughts.

"It's me," Lou replied. "I have the papers for you, signed."

There was a pause and then: "Come on in."

Lou walked in and looked around. Georgie was sitting next to the table, her school books before her, and she was halfway turned toward the door, waiting for what Lou had to say. Lou was pleased to see that she was studying, but at the same time she felt weird about earlier and her setting the limitations to Georgie's internet access. But at the same time Georgie was grounded, and there were rules for a reason.

She handed the papers to her daughter. "Here. Your father and I both signed them."

Georgie glanced at them and nodded. "Thanks."

When Georgie was placing the papers between the pages of one of her books, Lou felt like she should say something, almost like Georgie had expected her to have changed her mind and wanted to hear about it. Lou had to make sure her daughter knew she was sticking to her guns.

"How's the school work going?" Lou asked casually, trying to find a footing.

"Fine, I guess." Georgie shrugged. "Would go better if I would have access to the internet." There it was. The opening, the strike from her end.

"I know, but I already gave you the terms," she said, not letting her daughter walk all over her, even if it felt bad that she probably wasn't her favorite person at the moment. But maybe that was what parenting was like for the first eighteen years of the child's life until the kid realized that as an adult, you looked at things from a different perspective. "I'm sorry, but that's the punishment for what you did." Lou made it clear one last time.

"How long are you going to punish me exactly?" Georgie wanted to know, clearly frustrated. "I've been grounded 'until further notice,' and it seems like there's no end in sight. I've been treated worse than some kind of criminal," she said dramatically, and before Lou could say that she was over-exaggerating, she continued, "I might not be in jail, but at least the criminal knows how long they'll be locked in and that the punishment fits the crime."

Georgie's words got Lou to thinking.

"Like, fine, I get what you're trying to do, punishing me for doing the wrong thing or whatever," Georgie went on, "but I've been doing everything you've asked me to do, yet I feel like I'm getting no compensation. It's not fair; you're just misusing your power over me. You should at least tell me how long I'm grounded for; maybe it would be easier to adjust."

Lou knew Georgie had problems with authority figures, and for a somewhat good reason, and they'd slowly tried to change that with Peter, but it felt like Georgie still had a rebellious spirit-and this time, maybe even for a valid reason. It felt to Lou that maybe Georgie was beginning to understand more than what she herself expected.

Lou knew all about waiting for something that might never happen and how hard that was. Georgie was willing to go with the punishment, but she wasn't going to allow herself to be punished for more than seemed fair.

Lou couldn't help but see a resemblance to her situation with Peter, as strange as that was, but that too had been about power and allowing someone else to have that power over you. She'd waited for years for him to meet her halfway, but Peter had never gotten there, so she'd given up. That was why they were here. At least giving up was something she had control over.

"Okay, I get what you're saying, and you're right, the situation is definitely worth a reevaluation considering that you've done what we've asked you to do," Lou let her know, and it seemed like Georgie calmed down a little bit and eased her shoulders as she didn't need to put up a fight anymore. Lou then reviewed the situation out loud. "It's been four days now. How about we make that a week-seven days-because you've been willing to co-operate?" she suggested, even though it wasn't even something to be negotiated. "You're no longer grounded by next Monday. I promise you that."

Georgie thought about it for a minute. "Sunday?" That was the day after tomorrow.

"Monday," Lou insisted.

"Fine." Georgie sighed and turned around to face her book again. It seemed she was done with this conversation, so Lou took that as her cue to leave.

Something had shifted here as well. Maybe she still wasn't Georgie's favorite person, but at least Georgie wasn't as mad as she'd been when Lou had first entered the room.

"Good night," she said as she was making her way to the door.

"Night," Georgie muttered.

It wasn't exactly a perfect day as a parent, Lou thought, but was any day ever? Some days were harder than others, but that was part of the journey of being a parent.

Heading downstairs, Lou took her cell phone out of her pocket and texted Peter and let him know what she'd agreed on with Georgie. She figured it seemed fair to Peter as well. Before, she might not have even done that as it felt like it didn't make any difference in Peter's life in Vancouver, but now that Peter was here, she felt more obligated to do that as he felt more like family and part of the decision making.

This felt like the right way to do things.


	94. Chapter 94

When Lou opened her eyes that morning, she had a creeping feeling like she'd overslept. But when she rolled over on her bed, Lou saw that she was actually up early. It was strange that for the first time in a while, she'd actually slept pretty peacefully and was now feeling well-rested. Seizing the rare opportunity, Lou stretched under the covers and enjoyed the comfort of her bed for a little while longer.

The first rays of sunlight found their way through her curtains, and it somehow made her realize just how lucky she was to wake up to a new day, knowing she still had her loved ones around.

Finally, as she was getting up, Lou took her dressing gown from the chair and put it on. Even though she was well-rested mentally, her body still felt heavy.

 _Great,_ Lou sighed internally. _And I'm supposed to head out tonight with Vanessa when it's the last thing I want to do right now._

Lou felt the pressure of everyone expecting her to have fun by going out, but right now, going back to bed and pulling the covers over her head sounded like a better idea. But she couldn't do that; she had children and other obligations to take care of. Of course Lou knew she still had hours before she would even have to start getting ready, but on some level, she already wanted today to be tomorrow.

Sneaking out of her room, Lou went to Katie's door. She knocked gently and peeked in, hoping to find her daughter in bed. "Katie, honey. Time to wake up," she said, trying to keep up with Katie's routine, just like the doctor had ordered. Much to her surprise, Katie's bed was empty.

Lou felt like after this week's events, her heart rate getting quicker was probably a normal reaction to not finding her daughter when she was supposed to be there, but she still hated feeling like this. She knew Katie had a house full of people to look after her, and the little girl often found her way to other people's beds if she didn't feel like sleeping alone, but that still didn't help Lou to keep calm; she couldn't relax until she'd found Katie.

But before she allowed herself to fully freak out and become a nonfunctional, crying mess, Lou decided to check the toilet as it was one of the reasonable places for Katie to go. The bathroom was empty, but while peeking in, she could hear Peter's voice coming from the kitchen.

"Honey, stop playing with your food. You were supposed to eat the cereal, remember?" Peter's voice scolded gently. As Lou got closer, she saw Katie sitting at the table with Peter as her company. They were having breakfast. Relief washed over Lou.

"But I don't have any more cereal. I just have a lot of milk," Katie replied.

"When you asked for a straw, I thought it meant you wanted to drink the milk, not play with it," Peter explained as Lou walked closer. "If you don't have any more cereal, then the only thing left to do is to drink the milk."

"Or, I could have more cereal!" Katie suggested gleefully.

Lou could immediately see where their daughter was going with this and it made her shake her head in amusement as Katie never missed the opportunity to get what she wanted. Peter might have not been used to it as he wasn't around much, but Lou knew that oftentimes Katie knew exactly which strings to pull to get her way, especially when it came to Tim, Grandpa, and now Peter, and as they often did cave, Katie kept trying.

"Haven't you had enough?" Lou walked into the kitchen, taking Katie by surprise. She had a kind smile on her face as she came to kiss the top of Katie's head. The girl immediately looked a little guilty as she knew that Lou was stricter than her dad.

"Your mom's right," Peter agreed, somewhat realizing how Katie had been trying to use the situation to her advantage. "Just drink the milk, okay?"

Katie sighed, feeling defeated. "All right." She caught the straw between her lips and started drinking.

"I'm surprised to see you both up so early," Lou commented, walking to the coffee pot to see if there was any coffee. Thankfully, Peter had prepared some.

Peter's gaze followed her as he tried to figure out what to say. After yesterday, he hadn't gotten much sleep. It wasn't just his situation with his work but also the realization that things were probably moving faster to an uncharted direction that had kept him up all night.

"I didn't get much sleep," he admitted. "So I came here and figured we'd get a head start on the day. There are a few things we need to pick up from town for the sleepover, Katie says."

Lou was feeling relieved that Peter was still going to go through with the plan; it showed he was willing to follow up with what he'd promised. But at the same time, it made Lou feel a little guilty, because she wasn't sure if she was allowed to be the one having a night out.

"That's good," Lou commented, not wanting to be difficult as it seemed maybe Peter wanted to have this opportunity as it was so rare for him, seeing he was mostly in Vancouver.

"And we've also been talking about swimming lessons. Haven't we, Katie?"

"Uh-huh," Katie confirmed, nodding.

"Swimming lessons?" Lou echoed as she poured herself some coffee.

"Yeah. Could be useful," Peter replied.

Suddenly Lou felt like maybe this wasn't just a casual idea from Peter, but more like something that had been inspired by the fear that Katie had almost drowned. The atmosphere in the kitchen shifted into something that felt pressuring for Lou, and the guilt was getting a firmer hold on her again.

"It's a good idea," Lou said, figuring knowing how to swim was a useful skill, but that alone wouldn't stop anyone from drowning. But they couldn't live in fear, and they couldn't give things a negative spin just because of what had happened. Katie seemed excited about the idea, so she should be allowed to be excited without sensing that there was some underlying reason for them to push these swimming lessons on her no matter what they were going through on an emotional level as parents.

Outside all that, there was still another concern Lou had that she tried to put into words as she took a sip from her cup and leaned on the counter.

"This isn't me shooting down the idea, more like keeping you updated," she continued, wanting to make that clear so they wouldn't get into an argument over this. It was clear Peter wanted to be more involved, and Lou wanted to allow it. "I'm actually thinking of going back to work soon, at both Maggie's and the Dude Ranch. So I don't know how much time I'll have in terms of taking Katie to swimming lessons, because don't they usually require parental supervision?"

With dancing lessons, Lou could just drop Katie off, have an hour to run errands, and then go and pick her up, so that kind of arrangement was ideal for everyone.

"Well yeah," Peter said, seeing where Lou was coming from. "And I didn't expect to just suggest it and leave it all up to you-that wouldn't be fair. I was actually thinking I could go with her."

Lou was stunned. "Oh. But... how would that work? Don't you have to go back to Vancouver soon?" she tried to ask carefully, again not wanting to sound like a downer but more of a realist. "I don't think kids learn how to swim in an hour or so."

Peter understood that and realized that from Lou's point of view, this probably looked like he was in over his head, but maybe he could help her see that it wasn't actually as crazy an idea as it sounded. He should've kept Lou more updated.

"Well, actually... there's something I want to talk to you about." Peter saw this as his opening for him to share the news about his work. "I'm not going back to work. Or, I am, but only to clean my desk. I quit."

"What?" Lou was even more stunned. Was she still sleeping? "When?"

Peter felt nervous, but also almost prematurely relieved because he wanted to get this off of his chest. "Yesterday. I didn't know how to tell you. I didn't feel like there was a right moment to tell you, so... I decided to wait. But now you know."

Lou tried to wrap her head around what she'd just heard, because no matter what her relationship status was right now with Peter, things were going to change if he was no longer working. Was he going to find another job? Would he still be in Vancouver? Or would he do something different, maybe closer to home?


	95. Chapter 95

There was quiet in the kitchen while both Lou and Peter digested the shift this news had brought to the situation between them. Just last night they had both decided to give room for each other to be people outside this relationship, but now Lou realized that for Peter, the change was going to be even bigger. Maybe Peter's life was going to change even more than she could ever imagine.

"So... what's your plan? What are you going to do next?" Lou had to ask.

It was no news that they were not the best people when it came to communicating, so maybe Peter had been having dreams or goals of his own, things that he hadn't felt comfortable to share with her, especially because the whole work thing had always been such a touchy subject between them.

Peter not telling her that he'd also planned on working closer to home right away supported this theory as well. Lou had had no idea about that until after Peter had already put things into motion on some level. Clearly, they were already mentally more separated than physically as they both made decisions without talking about them to one another.

"I don't know," Peter said, making Lou feel like maybe this wasn't such a planned decision after all.

"What about that work thing closer to Hudson you talked about?" Lou asked. "Any news about that?"

She wanted to know, not just for her or the girls' sake, but also because she felt bad about not being the kind of person Peter could talk to about his plans until they were already shaping up to be something. Whether they were together or not didn't matter, because they were always going to be somewhat tied to each other. Once there had been love too, and what mattered to Peter in some form mattered to her as well. And being the control freak she was, Lou didn't like feeling like a rug had been pulled under her feet whenever there was going to be some type of change.

"Well, I'd thought about working under the same office, but now I quit, so I doubt that'll happen," Peter explained. "So basically I'm unemployed and looking into getting a job altogether, not just based on the location. I don't know how picky I can afford to be."

Based on last night, it probably didn't matter to Lou anymore how far he would live, but it mattered to him. After all these recent events, Peter knew he wanted to be closer to the girls, and even if he realized he wasn't in a position where he had the privilege to choose what he could do for a living and where, he would try to make it so that he wouldn't have to fly in and out all the time in order to see Georgie and Katie as much as he liked.

"So... you _are_ looking for a job?" Lou checked.

"Yes, of course," Peter replied. "I mean, not just because of the money, but also because I don't know what else could I even do. I've been working so hard for years that I haven't really thought about doing anything else. I mean, we already got married and had kids, so I thought things were okay in that department, but since we're now separated, it's not like I could have more time to, I don't know, plan that house we always talked about, for example. I don't know which way to go from here, but I just knew I didn't want to work there anymore, so I quit."

The way he spoke sounded like something a person who was feeling sorry for themselves would say, and while Lou could have easily picked a fight with him about the things he was bringing up and how they all pretty much tied to his work, she decided not to. After all, they'd already decided that they were moving on from the usual topics of their arguments as they were moving on altogether, so there wasn't that usual pressure of fighting to save what they had anymore.

That was why Lou decided to allow Peter to talk about his feelings now whether they involved her or not. The whole reason why Peter hadn't talked to her about this was probably because she was quick to fight him whenever he did express his concerns.

"I thought maybe you were having some kind of early mid-life crisis and you'd fly to Bali to do some scuba-diving or something," Lou said, sipping her coffee. Maybe she hadn't put her words in the most delicate way, but what she was trying to get across was the fact that she had no idea what was going on inside Peter's head. Even Peter had pointed it out in their fight at the hospital; she was always telling him everything, "burdening" him with her thoughts, whereas she barely got anything out of him.

"No, nothing like that." Peter shook his head. "Even though I realize how this might seem."

"So why did you quit then, if work feels like all you have left?" Lou had to ask. Just a few days ago, Peter had been backing his job at Vancouver like his life had depended on it, and now he'd just suddenly quit. Something must have changed.

"It's more about me feeling like I'm not really... appreciated anywhere, so I don't want to allow that to continue. I'm taking matters into my own hands."

Lou nodded, understanding what he meant. "So... you'll be staying here, then?" she assumed based on what Peter had said about the swimming lessons.

Peter looked at Lou, not wanting to be a burden, but also feeling like now that he had this amazing opportunity to be with his girls more than he usually did, he really wanted to seize it.

"For a while, if that's okay with you," Peter said. "And I don't expect you to change your life for this, especially because of what we talked about last night, so just act like I'm not even here. I just want to be with Georgie and Katie; that's all. And I can pay rent for the cabin, because I know you have a business to run and you shouldn't have to lose money because of a decision I made on my own-"

"Peter, it's fine," Lou interrupted. Right now, Peter needed to save his money as much as possible; it wasn't easy to land a job in this economy. If Lou could help him out, it was the least she could do.

"Only till I figure out something else," Peter replied.

Lou nodded. "I get it. I mean, it's just silly that you'd have to find a place to stay in Hudson or Calgary and drive here every day when you can just go for a jog and spend time with your girls by taking them to school or even to swimming lessons," she smiled, automatically glancing at Katie. "Besides, it's not easy to make the girls come to you either; that would be a whole other arrangement," she continued, bringing out a point of an argument they'd had when she'd thought that Peter would take the girls to Vancouver after Katie's accident. "Their life is here. And you're family, whether we're together or not. So you should be allowed to be here and be part of their lives."

"Thank you." Peter appreciated every word Lou had said. "I'll have to fly to Vancouver, clean my desk, and figure out what I'm going to do with my apartment." His brain started to plan the next move now that everything felt more real. He rubbed his neck, feeling frustrated but trying to hold it back, as he didn't want to let his stress affect his time with Katie. Today would be all about her and the sleepover-the simple things.

"Okay, well, you do what you have to do," Lou said, noticing Peter's body language change. "I'd appreciate it if you'd keep me updated, though."

Peter nodded. "Yeah. Yeah. Of course. I mean, we'll have to find a way to make this work. Before, you were running the show here, but now that I'm here, it makes things more complicated." It was still Lou's turf, and he didn't want to overstay his welcome, no matter how much of a family member he was supposed to be.

"You could say that, or you could say that it makes things easier." Lou shrugged. "Depends how you look at it. But, Peter... I've been wanting you here all this time, and now you are here. Maybe I have hard time realizing it's finally happening, because I'd given up hope already, but it is now, so . . . I'm going to enjoy it."

Just last night, she'd felt almost strange by filling Peter in on the arrangement with Georgie, something that she wouldn't have "bothered" him with before, but that was going to be their new normal now, and she wanted to embrace it; it was how things should have always been in the first place.

But, at the same time, Lou knew that this situation wouldn't last forever and that was also something they should keep in mind. Getting the kids ready for their separation had been hard enough, and so far, they'd done a somewhat decent job, but this was going to be something that would no doubt confuse them as the process went on, as in some level it was challenging for her and Peter as well. When you were separated, it usually meant that you were trying to be as much apart as possible-the complete opposite of what was happening right now.

"We should talk to Georgie about this," Lou continued, "just so she isn't confused or, I don't know, get her hopes up. I know she said she wanted us to get back together earlier because she doesn't really understand what's going on, so that's why we should keep her in the loop as well-just so there won't be any misunderstandings."

"Yeah, absolutely," Peter agreed, nodding. It had been heartbreaking to provide Georgie a family, only for it to fall apart like this. But no one could ever predict these things, and that was the harsh reality they'd had to teach their children as well. "We should talk to her after she gets back from the program?"

"Sounds good," Lou said. She figured she'd probably find some time between that and her going out with Vanessa.

Maybe she was in need of a night off and a drink or two after all...


	96. Chapter 96

"Champ and Scout have been fed—" Tim announced after feeding his horses as he walked inside his house where Casey was, getting it ready for her parents' visit. Tim stopped mid-sentence because of what he was seeing. He spread his arms to showcase the whole house as his eyes scanned it. "What happened here?"

Casey looked happy, almost proud, as she glanced over her shoulder from the kitchen. "I did some sprucing up. What do you think?"

"It looks... empty," Tim commented, noticing several things missing and few things added. This didn't look like the bachelor pad he was used to. He walked around and noticed how Casey had even moved some furniture. Not all of his chairs were pointed toward the television anymore, but adjusted in a way that allowed many people to sit around and have conversations.

"That's because I threw away those piles of old newspapers you've been hoarding. I mean, what are you even planning to do with those?" Casey replied, adding some pepper to the gravy she was making. "Now you have all this room. It makes the space look bigger, don't ya think?"

"Well, it's not like I was planning to do anything with them; I just forgot to throw them away," Tim said, noticing freshly picked flowers in a vase on the dinner table. He didn't even have house plants because he would probably just forget to water them since he was rarely even around his own ranch, so the flowers were definitely something that wouldn't stick.

Seeing all these changes by Casey made Tim realize how he hadn't really seen himself from an outsider's point of view; he never invited anyone here, not even his girls. Somehow this space was sacred to him, and only Janice had walked over the threshold once upon a time—and Callie, of course, but she had once lived here, so Tim didn't really count her.

By inviting Casey in, Tim could see how he was somewhat set in his ways, which made him worry that he was starting to turn into a Jack.

"I guess I did you a favor, then," Casey said, smiling a little.

Tim walked to his kitchen where Casey was chopping something and came to give her a kiss on her cheek. Now this, on the other hand, was something he could get used to. "You got started on the cooking, too?" Whether he liked the changes or not, at least Tim was able to admit he was impressed.

"What can I say? I'm efficient," Casey said, shrugging coyly. "And maybe a little nervous too," she confessed. "It helps me if I'm doing something, so I decided to start cooking. I'm sure my parents must be exhausted from all the traveling and they could use something to eat."

"Probably," Tim agreed, trying to focus on Casey instead of all the changes around him and everything her parents would bring with them. It was only going to be for a few days anyway, so he could handle it. After all, he'd handled worse.

Besides, it had been his idea to invite Casey's parents here in the first place. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea that Casey was making his place more homely, because it helped him to impress them.

"Can I help you with anything?" Tim offered.

Casey nodded. "Yeah, but wash your hands first."

As Tim was making his way to the sink, he noticed something missing from the fridge door as well. "Honey, did you do something to the calendar on the fridge?" he asked, even though he knew it couldn't have been him that had removed it and there was no one else who had been here lately.

"Uh, yeah. That was almost ten years old, you know," Casey replied. "Maybe that explains why you always follow your own schedule—because you base it off of that calendar from 2007."

"Where is it...?" Tim asked, not feeling amused by Casey's jokes.

"It's by the stove. Why?"

"I just..." Tim didn't continue and went to get it back. Thankfully, it wasn't damaged, but seeing it by the wood made Tim feel bad. It could have been gone by now if Casey had thought to put up a fire; thankfully it was summer and it wasn't needed. He walked back to the kitchen and placed it under one of the magnets, right where it had been. "That's better."

Casey looked confused as Tim was almost trembling. "I'm fine with you throwing out the old newspapers, but I'd like to keep this here," he said strictly before going to the sink.

Casey wasn't sure if she should even ask, but she didn't like this feeling of not knowing either. It seemed like the calendar, for whatever reason, held some kind of importance to Tim. She didn't want to step on his toes, so to avoid that from happening again, she asked, "What's with the calendar?"

"I... like the pictures," Tim explained as he began to wash his hands.

Something told Casey that it wasn't the whole truth; the pictures were pretty generic, and Tim wasn't usually that sentimental (despite having a lot of his old pictures and items from the rodeo days on the walls and shelves, but those were more about his pride and ego than about sentimentality, anyway).

But before Casey could pry more, they heard a truck honking outside.

"That must be my parents," Casey said, adjusting the heat of the oven and wiping her hands on a kitchen towel. "We should go and welcome them."

"Right," Tim agreed, drying his hands as well before they walked outside.

Outside, an elderly couple stepped out from a truck and admired the yard. When Tim and Casey stepped outside, she started rushing them so she could give them hugs. "Mom! Dad! You made it!"

"We did, even though the GPS got us lost a few times!" Casey's mother replied as she gave her daughter a tight embrace. "Gosh, Casey... I've missed you."

"I've missed you too. I'm so glad you could make it," Casey said, now walking to her father. Meanwhile, Tim walked up to them and reached out his hand to Casey's mother.

"Nice to meet you, Mrs. Chapman," Tim greeted and shook her hand. "I'm Tim Fleming."

"Oh, we've heard all about you, Tim," the mother gushed, clearly taken by his charm. "And you can call me Annie."

"I can see where Casey gets her looks from," Tim said, looking at her mother and seeing how they shared the same facial structure and same piercing blue eyes.

"Oh, please!" Annie giggled a little. That too reminded Tim of Casey; it was uncanny. "This is my husband, Tom."

"Nice to meet you," Tim said, moving to shake hands with Casey's dad now as his daughter stood next to him. The man's grip was firmer, almost as if he was testing him somehow and sending him a message.

"So this is your place, huh?" Tom asked right away, getting a nod from Tim.

"Yeah, Big River," Tim confirmed.

"How many acres is this?"

"601," Tim said, hoping that would impress Tom, but it was hard to read his facial expression. He just nodded and let his hand fall before he brushed off his jacket from his waist, almost like a sheriff who wanted to reveal his gun, but instead of a weapon, Tom was wearing one of his shiny belt buckles.

"I see," Tom said, but didn't say anything else about it. "We brought you something." He returned to his truck and went to get something from the backseat where their luggage was, figuring now it was the perfect time for the gift.

"How was the trip?" Casey asked from her mother.

"Long. Hot," Annie shared. "But it sure was worth it. Look at the sky here!"

"Yeah, it's pretty amazing," Casey agreed.

When Tom was getting back, Tim noticed Casey's dad was holding a bottle of a fine whiskey. It made Tim sigh a little as he knew what was coming; he would have to bring up the fact that he didn't drink and he would then embarrass Tom before they'd even began to get to know each other.

Or maybe... just to impress Casey's parents, he would just accept the gift and say nothing about him being a recovering alcoholic while he'd slowly gear the conversation elsewhere.

"Here you go." Tom handed him the bottle and Tim accepted it with a smile.

"Thank you, that's some good whiskey," he said, truly appreciating the gesture. Had the situation been different, he might have actually shared a glass of this with Tom later.

"Actually, Dad—" Casey felt like maybe she should say something, but in order to avoid looking rude or maybe even a little bit stupid for not saying anything, Tim decided to stop his girlfriend.

"What she's probably saying is that this is my favorite brand," Tim interrupted, hoping Casey would get the hint and not make this any more uncomfortable than it had to be. He laughed a little to add to the theatrical joy he was expressing. "What are the odds!"

"I'm so glad you like it!" Annie said cheerfully. "It seems like we're off to a good start."

After that, how could I even think of ruining this? Tim thought.

"Why don't you help me out with the luggage, Tim?" Tom suggested. "This is the house, isn't it?" he made sure, nodding toward the building before them, somewhat unsure if he'd gotten that right.

"Uh, yes, yes it is," Tim confirmed, eyeing it and trying to see it from an outsider's point of view since he was so used to it himself. Did it not seem like a home, then?

"I wasn't sure if it was just a cabin as it's rather small," Tom commented, then getting back to his truck.

Tim, on the other hand, wasn't sure if he should have been a little insulted, even though the house really was small. For him, it was just the right size since he lived there alone and didn't really spend much time inside anyway.

But now, it seemed like maybe Tom wasn't very impressed by his way of life, and in a way he could understand that, but Tim didn't understand why he would have to have so much space when he didn't need it. It just seemed like a waste for him.

Hopefully Tom would come to understand that it wasn't all about the size for him and that this ranch was exactly the right fit. After all, Casey's dad didn't really know him that well, so maybe after he got to know him, he could see things in a different light.

Tim turned to Casey so she could take the bottle inside. "Hide it," he told her quietly as he didn't want it inspire any type of conversation inside the house.

Casey seemed to get why Tim was playing this act, but having a bottle of whiskey was one thing; helping her father with luggage was different. "Are you sure you're up for it? What about your shoulder? You've just barely recovered from the operation. You don't want it to pop out again, do you?"

"I'll be fine," Tim whispered, trying to find a way to make it inside without crying like a hurt dog. First impressions were everything, and he really didn't want to seem weak in front of Casey's father.

"Tim..." Casey tried. "I could do it."

"No, absolutely not," Tim refused. "I'll be fine."

He might still be recovering, in many ways, but he was too proud to show it—at least now. Usually, he might have used his shoulder as an excuse to find his way out of things. But not this time. This time he was supposed to be a better version of himself—for Casey.


	97. Chapter 97

The humming of Lou's SUV was interrupted by the low singing voice of Katie from the back seat as Peter was driving Georgie to school that morning. The father of two glanced at his younger daughter through the rear-view mirror and smiled after seeing her play with her two stuffed animals on her seat.

In moments like these, it was easy to forget something terrible had happened only five days ago as there was no trace of tragedy in Katie's appearance or behavior (thankfully so). It seemed like the worst part was over now and they were back to normal with Katie.

Well, almost.

She still had a few home days ahead of her (just to be sure) before she could go back to kindergarten, and there was a doctor's appointment she had to attend within two weeks, but other than that, Peter felt like he and Lou didn't have to worry about her so much anymore. It was a relief, for sure, but at the same time Peter couldn't help but feel that this worry over Katie had actually brought them closer as a family and proved how much they all cared about each other. With no dark cloud hanging over their heads, who was to say that they wouldn't forget what they meant to each other until a new problem arose-as twisted as that was?

Thinking back to what Lou had said in the kitchen that morning about going back to work sometime soon, Peter was beginning to wonder about his place in the equation. If Katie was going to be back at kindergarten next week, Lou was busy spending her days at work, and Georgie's days were booked with school and horses, what was he going to do?

Before, Peter had just dropped in for a few days, and those days were always booked so that he could spend as much time with the girls as possible until he would be gone again. Now, everything would be evened out, as his visits weren't some type of event, and they were bound to become a norm.

That meant it would leave him a lot of time to do other things. Now that he didn't have a job, Peter knew he would grow bored in no time as he wasn't used to this kind of pace in life and he knew he didn't want that to weight on the girls or Lou. He had to figure things out on his own and not burden them with it.

Thinking harder, maybe they weren't so done with figuring things out after all; he and Lou still had some work to do with their older daughter, Georgie. They had made some progress after the girl had hit Olivia and been suspended from school, but there were still miles to go.

Maybe that could be his project for a while: make sure Georgie got back on her feet, even though the longer he thought about it, Peter wasn't sure if she'd ever been on her feet to begin with. He'd thought so after they'd adopted her, but it seemed like Georgie was still struggling, and maybe he and Lou were partly to blame.

Peter had always thought that when it came to Georgie, they got what they saw, a feisty girl with a lively spirit, but it had become clearer to him that there was so much he wasn't seeing at all. Being feisty wasn't necessarily something she'd been born with, but maybe something she'd been formed into through traumas.

He glanced at Georgie, who leaned her head against the window in the next seat and watched the changing scenery. Peter felt like this quiet drive could have been their way to decompress, but it also provided them time to spend together, something he'd rarely gotten to do with her these past few years. So, why wasn't he using this time more wisely?

"What was your first day of school like?" Peter asked out of the blue, making Georgie turn her head to make sure he was actually talking to her.

Since Georgie was adopted, there were so many things Peter and Lou had missed out on, so many things they didn't know about. They'd planned to go through Georgie's files again because of their plans to look into counseling, just to get a better sense of her past, especially in the light of recent events, but Peter realized there were also some things that weren't facts listed on papers, things only Georgie had lived through on an emotional level and was the expert on.

"I don't know," Georgie answered, feeling confused by this topic of conversation, even though they were driving to school. She shrugged the longer she thought about it. "I went to school and then I came home. That's it."

She was hoping they would leave it at that; it hadn't been a good time in her life, and she really didn't like to think about it much, even though leaving things be was hardly her family's style.

"Yeah, but... do you remember anything else?" Peter wanted to know. "Was there a kid you made friends with? What was the first subject? Did you like the lunch?"

Georgie thought back a little, just because Peter had been able to spike something in her despite her being uninterested about talking right now. If she was being honest, there weren't many details that she could recall; she would rather just forget that period of her life altogether, but there was one thing that had made her happy and that she would remember for the rest of her life.

"Jeff was there."

"Your brother?" Peter checked.

Georgie nodded. "Yeah. I didn't see him much because of our living arrangements, but we went to same school. So... even though school wasn't much fun, at least I had something to look forward to."

Peter smiled as he realized he'd just discovered something new about Georgie. "That's nice. Did he look after you?"

"Well... not really, even though he probably would've liked to think so," Georgie went on. Talking about Jeff was okay because he was one of the few things in her past that had actually been good. "I never told him when I was bullied. I don't know why; I guess I was embarrassed or something. I learned to defend myself, because even though he was there for me at school and I knew he could have just told the other kids to get away from me there, the bullying didn't stay at school, so I knew I had to take care of myself when he wasn't around, so I just always sort of... took care of things."

Even though Peter was happy Georgie could open up to him, he felt bad imagining all the things she'd had to go through in her life. Even the way she talked told a story: the things she chose to highlight, the tone in her voice as she went deeper, and the choice of words she used to describe things.

"Did he ever knew you were bullied?" Peter had to ask.

"He found out," Georgie replied. "But I told him it wasn't a big deal, that I could take care of myself. I know he wasn't convinced, but I proved him wrong by kicking everyone's asses."

Peter recognized something familiar in the way Georgie spoke and the way she viewed things-how there was this feeling like physical response was the only way to deal with things. It hadn't always been about defending himself in his childhood either; it had been about survival, as dramatic as that sounded.

"What about now?" Peter asked. "How are things in school? Outside Olivia, of course." Georgie was quiet, which concerned Peter. "Georgie?" he checked, almost as it to make sure she'd heard his question. But he knew she had.

"I don't know," Georgie sighed, actually feeling relieved that they were getting closer to school so she could escape from this conversation. "I don't really like to be around people. They talk too much."

"Has someone been saying something?" Peter asked, concerned.

"I don't know what they're saying; I just know they're talking about me," Georgie shared. "Whispering, looking at me like I'm crazy." She could easily remember how everyone had looked at her at the trick-riding lessons and how that had led to her having a panic attack. It almost made her feel sick to think back to how weak she'd felt in that moment, like she hadn't been in control, as there had been too many bullies to fight back. "They could at least be a little more discreet, you know, but I guess they don't see a reason why they should. I'd rather they just say the things to my face instead of pretending like I can't hear."

Peter parked the vehicle in front of the school and let his gaze scan the school yard, almost as if he could somehow identify his daughter's bullies just by looking at them. He wasn't sure whether it was about him being a father or him being someone who'd been bullied in school too, but he had an urge to go and tell everyone who'd ever hurt Georgie to quit it now and apologize to her.

He knew it wasn't possible and he couldn't always protect Georgie-because whether he liked it or not, she'd already faced so much harm during her young life that it was impossible to erase those experiences anymore-but he still wanted her to know that she was loved.

"You know it's not because of you that they're doing that, right?"

Georgie unbuckled her seat belt. "Yeah, problems at home, insecurities and all that stuff. I know," she said in a monotone voice something she had heard many times from various sources.

Peter saw an opportunity to prove a point. "Well, you saw that with Olivia, didn't you? I know bullying because of their own problems isn't something the bullies are supposed to do and it doesn't make it any easier for you to endure-not that it should be endured in the first place-but I would never want you to think that there's something wrong with you just because some bully says so. Never."

"But what if there is?" Georgie said. "Everyone seems to think so." It seemed like the story of her life.

"Not everyone. Not me. Not your mother. Not your whole family," Peter corrected. "And we know who you are and love you for it. I know it's not easy to shut your ears to all the awful things that get said, but you can't let someone who doesn't even know you have so much power over your life, because they don't really care about you and they don't want you to see yourself in the way that all the people who love you do."

Georgie looked down, not really knowing what to say.

Peter felt like he still needed some trick to make Georgie realize that she was worthy of love, especially self-love, that would help her choose better ways to deal with difficult situations without letting them get to her. "Okay, I have one piece of advice for you," he said.

Georgie sighed and rolled her eyes as she looked at him. "Is it the carrot thing again?"

"No," Peter hummed. "When you feel down, think about Phoenix. He loves you. He's happy every time he sees you. He thinks you're totally awesome." He tried to speak in a language his teenage daughter could understand, but the reaction he received was an embarrassed scoff. Peter got over it quickly and continued. "Try to see yourself more like Phoenix sees you."

Georgie had to admit that Phoenix was one of the few who actually accepted her as she was and didn't remind her how she could be better. She never felt bad around him. "Okay," she said, putting her hand on the handle on the door.

"He thinks you're a rock star," Peter continued.

"I said okay, already!" Georgie laughed a little because of the way her father was trying too hard. It did make her feel a little better, even though she was nervous too as she was about to face a pack of classmates soon. "I'll see you after school."

"I'll come pick you up," Peter reminded her, feeling happy he could say that.

"Okay. See you," Georgie said, sliding out of the car. "Bye, Katie," she added before she closed the door.

"Bye, Georgie!" Katie said as soon as she heard her own name, and then got back to her own little game.

Peter watched after Georgie and made sure she got inside safely. He might have missed out on her first day of school, but in a way, he still worried about her as if she was starting her first grade.


	98. Chapter 98

After Tim had dragged in Tom and Annie's luggage and showed them their room, he excused himself to the bathroom. As much as he hated to admit it-and he never would out loud-Casey had been right about his shoulder. It was still recovering from surgery, and the doctor had asked him to take it easy for a while now, so carrying these bags wasn't what he should have done; he could feel the pressure on it in a way that he shouldn't have.

But just seeing how Tom was already judging the ranch he lived in had made Tim feel like he needed to step up and prove to him that even though he might not be that flashy when it came to living, he made it up in everywhere else. He realized that compared to a lot of the ranches here in Hudson, Big River didn't probably seem much and it didn't really have a mighty reputation, but for him, living here, owning these acres, and being where he was today was a huge accomplishment.

To think that he'd come from a rodeo background, gone through hell with his addictions, and lost everything-even his family-and then finally worked his way back to life was inspirational. It wasn't a coincidence that he was here. He hadn't just drifted along and hoped for things to turn out to be great; he really had worked for it.

Of course, for Tom to understand and appreciate it, he would've had to know about Tim's struggles, but it wasn't something Tim was willing to share with him; he wanted to leave the past behind and focus on what he had now, since that was essentially what really mattered. It hadn't really been up until recently that he'd even opened up to Casey about his past either, and they'd been together for almost a year now, so to meet Tom for the first time today and share the most intimate details about his life wasn't like him at all.

Trust needed to be earned first.

Back in the bathroom, Tim gently massaged his shoulder, hoping that it wouldn't take too much for it to bounce back. If he took it easy, the worst thing would be that it would turn somewhat stiff, but he was lucky if that was what he would get away with. He could recall the times when the pain had been so excruciating that he'd turned to booze and pills to help him ease it. Still, even after all these years, it was an adjustment to live with it without any chemical help, and the worst thing that really came out of it was that he turned cranky and hard to work with. For most part, the people around him had gotten used to it.

Tim heard a gentle knock on the door.

"Tim? Everything okay in there?" Casey's voice asked through the door.

"Uh, yeah, just... washing my face; it's so humid out," Tim lied, getting the water running so Casey would believe his lies better. "I'll be right there."

"Okay, good. Because my mom needs the bathroom, so..." Casey's voice drifted off. She wouldn't have usually worried so much, but knowing that Tim had been stubborn with the bags, she only wanted to make sure he was still doing okay.

"Yeah, I'll just—" Tim continued blabbering and splashed some water on his face so he would look more authentic. "Won't be long."

"Okay. We'll be in the living room," Casey said, leaving him be.

Tim could hear Casey's steps getting more distant, and he mentally prepared to face the family again and numbing his pain all by himself. Taking one last look into the mirror, Tim told his image to get himself together and not act like a whiny baby.

A few minutes later, he walked to the living room, and when Annie noticed him, she asked for directions to the toilet. "It's right over there. Hard to miss," he said, gesturing behind his back with a smile.

"Tim," Casey got his attention then, "Mom and Dad said they weren't really feeling hungry yet, so I thought I'd suggest us taking a little tour around the town to show them all the places I've been talking about."

"Yeah, that sounds good," Tim agreed. "There's lots to see."

"Tim actually owns a diner with his daughter. We could get some coffee from there to go," Casey said, evident pride in her voice as she gushed about her man.

Tim appreciated it, because he really did wanted to seem worthy of Tom and Annie's daughter. Casey, being as wonderful as she was, was making it difficult, but that didn't discourage him; she was worth it all.

"Really?" Tom asked, getting a nod from Tim. "You have a daughter?"

"Two, actually. And a son," Tim confirmed.

"Do they all live around here?" Tom was curious.

"Well, Lou, the daughter I have the diner with, lives just few kilometres away at this ranch with her grandfather. My younger daughter, Amy, just got married few months ago, and she and her husband are building this loft apartment for themselves on the same ranch," Tim explained.

Tom nodded. "They live with your father?"

"Well, no, he's not my dad," Tim corrected; "he was my late ex-wife's dad."

This spiked Tom's interest as he saw a parallel between Tim and Casey now. "Oh, so you were married too?"

"Yeah, but... we got divorced before she passed away," Tim explained. "That's why the girls are sort of closer with their grandfather and live with him. When she died, he pretty much became their guardian," he said, even though it had always been something that bugged him-being second to Jack-but he couldn't change the past; it was just something he had to live with.

Tom looked confused and frowned. "Why didn't you take them in? I mean, you're their father." It seemed like a logical conclusion.

Tim felt like explaining one thing would lead to another set of questions, and the more Tom knew, the worse Tim himself would look. All the arrangements and happenings in his life made sense to him, even though most of them hadn't been ideal, but it was because he'd lived through the steps and known they were necessary for everything to work out eventually. Putting aside his pride, it had all been for the best of his girls.

"I was living elsewhere," Tim explained, which was true, but not the whole truth, "and they felt more at home at the ranch, because that's where they grew up and their lives were there, so it was the best solution. But I did come back to their lives years after the divorce, and now we're closer again; hence the diner."

Again, what he was telling was all true, but not the whole truth. Right now, he was experiencing difficulties with Lou because of the way he'd chosen to handle things and because of some things from the past she was apparently going through that were affecting her relationship with him now. Still, Tim had hope that things would work out, like they always had. Lou just needed to cool off, and they'd be back to normal in no time.

"I see," Tom nodded, getting a better understanding of the situation. "And your son?"

"He lives with his mother," Tim replied.

Now Tom was confused again. "But I thought you said that your ex-wife had died?"

"Well, he's not from my marriage to Marion, my late ex-wife," Tim cleared, feeling again like things were heading in a dangerous direction. "They're step-siblings."

"Oh, so you've been married twice?" Tom thought he'd caught up now.

If Tim sensed any prejudice in Tom's voice about the thought of him being married twice before getting involved with Casey-which was not even the truth-he was scared to see the reaction to him being married once and then having an illegitimate son he hadn't had any idea about for years. But at the same time, he didn't want to think of Shane as an embarrassment, because that wasn't how he viewed him at all.

"No," Tim said, leaving it at that. "Just once."

Even though Tim didn't say much, Tom seemed to figure things out anyway. Almost as if subconsciously, the man took a look at the pictures on the wall of Tim's rodeo days, and, knowing how some cowboys could be on the circuit, it didn't take long for him to make his mind about Tim's character.

"I see," Tom muttered, not seeming too pleased.

Casey sensed the awkward position Tim was in and took his hand to show him that even though some things were stacked against him in the sense of morals, it still didn't make her love him any less. It was easy to judge someone based on facts, but behind every fact, there was a person with an unique story that was often far more complicated than any black and white thought could imagine it to be.

Not long after, Casey's mother returned from the bathroom, looking at everyone. "Okay, I'm ready. We still heading to town?" she asked so she could catch up on any decisions that had been made while she was absent.

"Yeah," Casey confirmed. "Why don't we take my truck, so you can just sit back and watch the scenery without worrying about any directions?"

"Sounds good!" Annie said, already heading toward the door. "I can't wait!"

Tom gave Tim one last look before following his wife. Tim's spirits sank a little, but Casey was determined to make things work in everyone's favor. She loved her parents, even though they had different approaches to some things-but what parent and child didn't? And she also adored this man next to her. But it was evident that unfortunately it would take a while for both of her worlds to collide in a satisfying way.

Still, Casey was confident that it could be done, and it was her job to make sure it became a reality. This had been her idea, after all, and it was important for her to make sure that everyone here had a good time.


	99. Chapter 99

"Grandpa, are you sure you can do it?" Lou asked when they were driving back from the Dude Ranch. Lou had taken dinner baskets to the guests while Jack had made sure the horses had water in their paddocks. This was Lou's way of slowly getting back into things even though Lisa was still very much in charge of running the Dude Ranch like she'd promised. "I know you're busy and I don't expect you to entertain the guests when it's not your job."

"Come on, Lou," Jack said, steering his truck back to Heartland, "who doesn't love a good trail ride? I would love to take those people out and maybe even spend some time with Lisa. I don't think she's been on one of those in a while either. You'd be doing us a favor, when you think about it."

"Yeah, but it's one thing to go on a trail ride with just you two than to take a whole family of strangers out there," Lou pointed out. "They barely know what they're doing."

"Maybe so, but that also brings some of the magic with it, don't you think? To see the joy and pure wonder on their faces when they look at the mountains or experience the morning in the middle of nature. So, I don't mind, Lou," Jack said once more. "I know you and Peter are busy; you already made these plans with Vanessa, and it's not like we'll have a new ranch hand for a few days either. I can do it, and you don't have to feel bad about it. It's not like it's going to be a permanent solution anyway; we can make exceptions."

"Okay." Lou felt like there was no arguing this. "I just feel like I've neglected things somehow. I don't like that feeling."

"Well, your businesses will wait for when you're ready to go back to work," Jack reminded her. "You've focused on the right things meanwhile-your family. As far as I'm concerned, there's no better reason to step aside from work than that."

"Yeah, you're right." Lou knew it to be true. "I guess I'm nervous about that too. I mean, me going out... it's not exactly me thinking about the family. I should just cancel."

"I guess if you think about it like it's black and white, it's not directly related to your relationship with your family, but I also know that sometimes people need a break to feel better about some things, so this is it. And in that way, it is about your family as well. You're not committing a crime for having one night off for once in a while, you know," Jack said, driving through the gates of the ranch. "Sounds to me that maybe going out scares you a little bit."

Lou looked at her grandfather and had to admit he was right. "It does. I know it's stupid; I mean, it's just me going out with my friend. But... it's like looking back on this life that I've left behind. I'm now somewhat settled with kids. It doesn't feel natural to me to be out in a bar and not worry about other things."

"Maybe it'll give you some perspective?" Jack suggested. "I know when I went to Arizona, I pretty much hated it all because I was so out of my comfort zone, but when I came back home, it gave me a new perspective on how much I really do love the things I have around here. I used to love travelling; it was part of my life, but... like you said, I got settled with Lyndy and Marion, and it didn't feel right anymore. Then again, now that I think about it, maybe it wasn't really the travelling that I loved, but more about who I did it with. Those men I got to travel with became my brothers. And life here, back at home, was a journey too even though it wasn't me going from place A to place B. But it was a journey inside our minds, me and Lyndy's. So, maybe you're looking at this the wrong way. Maybe this isn't you going out but you having fun with that friend of yours. I know I don't really know her, but to me she seems like a keeper."

"Yeah, she's the best. She's helped me out so much, honestly," Lou had to admit. Now, thinking about the night from a new perspective made her feel a little bit better about it; she knew how excited Vanessa was about spending time with her. "Thanks, Grandpa. I feel better already."

Jack looked at her with a smile as he parked his truck next to Lou's SUV. "Good to hear. Looks like Peter and Katie are back from town."

"Yeah," Lou said, unbuckling her seat belt. "Oh god... We're supposed to talk to Georgie about this new arrangement with me and Peter. That terrifies me. I don't want to just burden Georgie with all of these problems that come with what Peter and I are going through, but she also needs to know about them because otherwise she'll just be confused and that'll create more problems."

"I know Georgie is grounded, but I have a suggestion," Jack said then. "Why doesn't she come with me on the trail ride? I know; I know-it might seem like some kind of reward, but I was thinking that she's old enough to take more responsibility around here. Maybe it'll teach her a thing or two about how to be a person we can trust. Besides, I find that doing physical activity can help you get your mind off of things."

Lou thought about it for a minute and nodded. "Yeah, that might be good. I'll talk to Peter about it. Thanks, Grandpa."

"No worries," Jack said, opening the truck door and stretching his legs out. Lou soon followed him with empty baskets.

* * *

"And then you just put these in the fridge and they're ready for you when you need to take them out and put them in the oven later tonight," Lisa instructed Peter with the food in the kitchen just as Jack and Lou got inside. "That saves you the trouble of doing this later and, more importantly, will give you more time to look after Katie and Abraham," she added with a wink.

"This is very helpful; I wouldn't have thought about that. Thanks, Lisa," Peter said appreciatively as they reached the end of their food preparation.

When he and Katie had come back from the store, Lisa had offered her help with getting Peter as ready as he could be for the play date tonight. He hadn't done this before, so he was open to all the help he could get even though he was also determined to show everyone that despite somewhat relying on others for the longest time when it came to his kids, he could still do it without much or any help. It was beginning to dawn on him that while he'd helped with the kids financially, he was a little bit clueless when it came to being with them alone, so in the end he'd been a father only to some extent. Now it was time to prove that he could do it all.

"Hey," Lou said, putting down the baskets. "How was the run to town?" she asked when she saw Katie eating strawberries by the kitchen table.

"It was good. Took Georgie to school and we went to the grocery store," Peter told her. He wasn't sure if he should have told Lou about the talk with Georgie, but now hardly seemed like the time or the place for something so personal.

"I got strawberries with the money the fairy brought me!" Katie presented them to Lou. "Do you want one?"

"I would love to have a strawberry," Lou said, feeling good about seeing her younger daughter so happy. She really was getting better each day. "Thank you," she said as she got the treat from Katie. "Will you give GG one as well?"

"Here you go, GG," Katie said, handing Jack one as well.

"Why, thank you, dear," Jack replied as he accepted it and then threw it in his mouth while making noises that sounded like a monster. It made Katie giggle.

"Looks like you've been doing something here," Lou commented when she saw the sink filled with dirty dishes. Peter looked at the sink, realizing that it probably looked to Lou like he'd done nothing but make a mess in the kitchen with Lisa.

"Uh, yeah, Lisa helped me make something for the night. But I'll clean this up; don't worry about that," Peter responded, hoping to prove that he had all these things Lou usually took care of under control and she didn't need to worry about a thing.

"Lis, I have a proposition for you," Jack said to his wife when he was done entertaining Katie. "The guests at the Dude Ranch are interested in going on an overnight trail ride tonight, and I already promised Lou I would take care of it, but I was wondering if you'd like to join me."

A pleasant smiled spread across Lisa's lips. "Well, I would love to, but... will you be able to handle everything here?" she checked with Peter. She'd sensed Peter was nervous about tonight, so she didn't want to abandon him with the kids all by himself if he felt like having a safety net.

"Oh yeah, yeah, absolutely," Peter said, frowning almost like there was no question about his capability to do this even when Lisa was in the right to doubt him. "You two go. I'll be fine. We'll be fine."

Peter hadn't fully convinced Lisa with his speech, but at the same time she couldn't just butt in if he didn't want that. Not to mention, Lisa was really looking forward to this trail ride with Jack; it was rare that they did something together that they both enjoyed.

"Speaking of the trail ride." Lou saw the window for the conversation with Peter. "Grandpa suggested that he would take Georgie with them, you know, to teach her more about responsibility. So I was thinking, maybe after our talk with her, we could tell her that her plans for tonight and tomorrow are settled."

"Yeah, why not," Peter said. "It can't be all bad, right? She's with horses, but she's not just having fun, you know?"

Lou nodded. "Yeah, I was thinking the same. Besides, it's not like she has anything else to do either-she's grounded, after all."

"Yeah, okay, we'll do that," Peter agreed.

Jack looked at both Lou and Peter in turns, and when they were done with the conversation, he glanced at Lisa. "All right. Why don't we start getting ready for it, then? We have a few things to pack. I need to get the tents from the Quonset hut."

"Okay, let's go," Lisa said with excitement. "Good luck tonight. For both of you."

Peter chuckled a little, nervously. "Thanks."

"Thanks, Lisa," Lou replied with a smile, but she felt anything but confident about anything that would happen tonight. Despite that, she was going to at least try to do her best. "We'll let you know about Georgie."

"Okay, I'll see you later," Jack said as he stepped outside with Lisa.


	100. Chapter 100

Lou walked into the bar with Vanessa and looked around. Even though the place hadn't changed much in eight years, it just made Lou realize how much she had during that time. She could almost hear herself drunkenly singing "Bad Timing" while Scott watched her from their table, and it made her shake her head.

How simple had things been back then.

"Will this do?" Vanessa asked when she noticed the head-shake.

"Oh, yeah yeah," Lou said, not wanting to make Vanessa feel like she was somehow too good to be here, because that wasn't true. Sure, it was no bar with low jazz music from New York, but she still didn't think herself to above all this. Hudson had its country charm that made her feel at home. "I was just thinking about the time I came here eight years ago with my ex-boyfriend."

"Hopefully not bad memories," Vanessa replied as they tried to find a free table.

"No. Now that I think about it, funnily enough, I feel like I was mentally kind of in the same place as I am now." Lou realized that even though she'd just thought she'd changed, maybe she hadn't actually gotten that far after all; apparently she was stuck in some type of cycle or pattern. "Kind-of-in-a-relationship, but keeping distance with the man," she thought back on Carl, "not looking for anything new, but in the need of letting loose."

"Well then, this is perfect, isn't it?" Vanessa said as they took a seat and put their light summer jackets aside. "Worked great the last time, right?"

"Well..." Lou laughed. "Not perfectly, but I guess it pushed things along."

In here, she'd seen that awfully comical ad-that Marnie's husband had made-on TV, felt like a failure and went home crying. Thinking back to that and how she was more confident as a business woman now made her feel at least somewhat accomplished.

Maybe she'd gained something since then, after all.

"Oh god." Lou shook her head, almost feeling amused. "Thinking back to that now just makes me think how small streams make big rivers. Eight years ago, I came back home from New York, and my family had basically nothing going for them, except Heartland-but even with that, hope almost seemed lost. I was so concerned about keeping Heartland alive that I thought my life would somehow end if we couldn't make it work for us."

"And look at you now!" Vanessa said proudly. "Not only is Heartland doing well, you have your own businesses! Hell, I'll drink to that-or I would if we had anything to drink. Hey, how about I get us something while you keep our seats?"

Lou nodded. "Sure."

"I'll be right back," Vanessa said before she got up and disappeared into the scattered crowd.

Lou's glance glided over the stage where a middle-aged man was singing some sad country love song and putting his whole heart into it. While she listened, Lou thought back to home and wondered how Peter was doing with the kids. It wasn't like it was his first time alone with Katie; he'd stepped in and looked after the girls while she was on her book tour a few years ago, so she probably had nothing to worry about. All the fears she was having were probably stemming from the recent accident and nothing more.

Lou trusted Peter to be a good father, so she tried to put any doubts aside, especially because she knew Peter had such high morals about keeping Katie safe-as she'd seen in the hospital when they'd fought.

As for Georgie, Lou had been surprised with how little resistance they'd gotten from Georgie's end when they'd told her she was going to join Jack and Lisa on the trail ride and help with the Dude Ranch guests. Maybe Georgie was actually ready to take more responsibility and had just waited for someone to give it to her-after all, she always admired Amy's doings and wanted to be involved with clients and their horses. And riding Phoenix had probably sweetened the deal as well. Lou was probably holding her back too tightly, whereas Georgie was ready for more than Lou expected.

The more she got into thinking about things back home, the more Lou realized she needed this night out, if for nothing else than to lose some of that control Peter always said she needed to have.

It was true, she had to admit; she needed to have control. But she wasn't sure why. Part of her knew things were going to be okay and she didn't need to control everything-and her control wasn't needed for things to be okay.

But how could she fix it if she didn't understand it?

"Hey," Lou heard a man's voice say as a guy in his mid-thirties slid right next to her and put his beer bottle on the table. "I was beginning to think it was some kind of elderly night here, but then I saw you."

Lou looked at the guy. His eyes were twinkling even though it was rather dim in the bar, and when he smiled, his dimples came out. He was dressed somewhat sharply-which made him stand out-and he didn't look like just like any other cowboy here.

Lou didn't know why or how, but he gave this vibe that he wanted her to be at ease, but instead, Lou felt her guard getting up.

"Well, it's not like the young people here come to this place to party," Lou replied, somehow feeling threatened all of a sudden, like she was expected to flirt or show interest in this stranger. "Something tells me they wouldn't like it here."

She hated that when a man and a woman met in a bar, there were all these expectations in the air, like it was some kind of rule that something needed to happen if either one of them shown interest into the other. Something about the company of the elderly had actually made her feel rather comfortable, because at least then she could only worry about herself; most of them were just here to sing a few songs and talk with their friends over a few drinks.

"Yet here you are," the man said, smirking. Lou gave him a polite smile but kept her eyes elsewhere.

When the singer on the stage finished his song, it gave her a reason not to interact with the man beside her for a while as applause filled the room.

"I'm Mitch," he then introduced himself when the clapping died and someone else took on the stage.

Lou looked at the guy, not liking where this was going. She almost wanted him to know that this eye contact meant that she wasn't in the mood for whatever he was after. This night was supposed to be about having fun, not about some guy to whom she would have to explain that she wasn't really looking right now and that her life was complicated at the moment-who still didn't want to leave her side despite all that.

"I'm Here-With-A-Friend," Lou replied.

Mitch chuckled a bit. "That's, uh, an unusual name." He was starting to get the message but didn't just feel like dropping the conversation, if only to prove that he wasn't after the one thing this woman probably thought he was after.

"Yeah, I think my parents didn't really want to join the trend of Amandas and Jennifers when I was born," Lou joked dryly. She was hoping that Vanessa would come back with the drinks soon and the guy would then realize that he wasn't wanted company. As Lou tried to glance at the bar to see if Vanessa was there, she kept tapping the table with her fingers nervously.

"It's okay. I can leave," Mitch said, not wanting to be trouble. "I didn't want to harass you. I... uh, I don't know; I guess I just wanted someone to talk to. But hey, I hope you and your friend have a fun night. I mean, you coming to a place like this sure tells me that you're not afraid of the challenge," he added and took a firm grip on his bottle. "Have a good one!"

Lou looked at him for the last time and nodded. "You too."

The guy had been nice, but Lou was just freaking out internally and didn't want to suck in anyone with her. If he'd only known what kind of bullet he'd just dodged, he would have thanked her for pushing him away.

It didn't take long after Mitch had left the table for Vanessa to come back. She handed Lou her drink, but her eyes were looking after the guy. "Who was that?" Her tone was extremely curious.

"Just some guy. I didn't really feel like talking to him, so he left," Lou explained, looking at her drink to see what Vanessa had gotten them.

Vanessa looked at her, almost shocked. "What?! He was a total hottie!"

"Hey, I thought you had that guy from the gym?" Lou raised a brow, trying to dodge any appreciation toward the guy's looks. That kind of talk had gotten her into trouble before, and she wasn't about to repeat that kind of behavior anymore.

"So? I still have eyes, you know. I mean, come on-when are you ever going to get a catch like that from Hudson? Never, that's when," Vanessa said, taking a seat beside Lou.

"I just wanted tonight to be about us," Lou explained. "No guys."

"All right, okay," Vanessa said, smiling, taken by the compliment. "I'm down."

"Okay, good." Lou felt relieved. She knew that Vanessa was only trying to help her with getting her a rebound, but Lou didn't like being in a company of a pimp right now; all she needed was a friend. "I'll drink to that," she said, clinking her glass with Vanessa's.


	101. Chapter 101

As Tim and Casey were getting ready to turn in that night, they were both having mixed feelings. Casey was happy that she'd been able to bring her parents to the town where she'd been able to start new after Hank's passing, but at the same time, she could sense that something was weighing on Tim.

No matter how much she'd tried to praise Hudson and Tim's accomplishments-like him being a partner at Maggie's and having his own rodeo school-nothing seemed to cheer him up. He'd given her a weak smile and downplayed pretty much everything she'd said, almost as if he would've been too modest to feel any pride.

That was not the Tim Fleming she knew.

Meanwhile, Tim felt happy for Casey; he knew showing her parents around Hudson was something she'd been looking forward to for weeks now. But he couldn't shake the thought that no matter how much Casey tried to sell the awesomeness of the town, her dad wasn't going to buy it.

To Tom, it probably felt like an extension of Tim, something he hoped Casey would soon ditch before she got any more attached.

When they were getting ready for bed, Casey couldn't stand the awkwardness any longer. As Tim was unbuttoning his shirt thoughtfully by his dresser, she sat on his bed and looked at him.

"What's going on with you? You've been uncharacteristically quiet today."

Tim glanced at Casey, trying to make it look like it was a surprise to him even though it had been a conscious decision. "Have I?" Casey nodded, so he went on. "Oh... I guess I just wanted this to be about you and your parents."

It was the truth, but only half the truth again, because the other half was something that had the potential to hurt Casey, and that was the last thing Tim wanted.

"Well, yeah, but you're part of that-or at least you should be," Casey replied. "I didn't invite them here only so I could spend more time with them; I wanted them to meet you and get to know you better."

"Pretty sure your dad would have been better off not knowing me." Tim finally let it slip because he could never miss an opportunity for a witty comeback.

"What? No?" Casey shook her head. "Why would you say that?"

Tim took off his undershirt and changed it into a night shirt, thinking about where to even start. Casey had been there, so was she oblivious or did she just want him to tell her how he felt? Probably the latter. Casey was smart and was more into talking about feelings than he was.

"You saw his face when I went on about Marion and Miranda and my kids," Tim said, reliving the moment and having the feeling of not wanting to be present again. "I did make quite an impression on him-and not the good kind."

He started walking toward the bed and sat down before he lay down on it.

"Well, you have to admit, it does sound kind of crazy when you put it like that," Casey stated, lying down next to him and finding her spot under his arm. "But we both know it's actually not as crazy as it sounds. It's just... well, life."

"I know, but how am I ever going to recover from a start like that? Once I lost his respect, there's no gaining it back," Tim replied, wrapping his arm around Casey so he could embrace her. "He'll always see me as this... loser."

"Is that what _you_ think, or is that what _you_ think my _dad_ thinks?" Casey checked, looking up so she could see Tim's features. The man pulled his chin against his chest so he could see her expression. "I mean, even if it is what he thinks, are you just going to take it and not even try to make a change?"

Tim didn't know what he was going to do. Right now, he just figured he'd lay low until Casey's parents left so he could avoid any further complications.

"Is that what you did with Jack?" Casey asked, hoping to prove a point. "You told me that he never thought you were good enough for Marion, but did you just give up? No. You tried to prove him wrong, didn't you?"

Tim sighed. "And look how that turned out. I hate to say it, but the old man might have been right-for the first and only time in his life."

"Okay, so it wasn't perfect-then what? My point is, you didn't give up, even after everything. And here you are, still in his life, and you're even working as partners to some extent." Casey did a one-sided shrug. "I don't know, but that sounds pretty good to me, considering."

For Tim, it wasn't that simple. Even if they rarely talked about it, he still knew what the reality of the situation was with Jack. The reasons for their relationship weren't as sentimental as Casey thought.

"I'm still in his life because of the circumstances. If Lou and Amy weren't living at Heartland, he wouldn't have to see me at all, if he wanted. And let me tell you, he'd love that." Tim laughed wryly. "I mean, look at me now; I'm banned from Heartland because of Lou, so I have no contact with Jack."

Casey caressed Tim's chest carefully, wondering if maybe Tim was simultaneously worrying about that too. There seemed to be some kind of connection.

It was as if Tim was in need of guidance, but he was too proud to admit that in some way, Jack was his friend who always helped out in situations like this. Now that they weren't talking, he had no one to talk to.

"You gotten anywhere with the Lou thing?" she asked.

"I don't know what Lou's expecting from me," Tim admitted. "I already said I was sorry, but she said she wants to see me respect her family more. I feel like I can't win because she's chosen that way. I'm busting my ass at Maggie's to keep her business afloat and trying to support her girls as much as I can-what more can she want?"

Casey squinted, trying to unravel the situation. "You think maybe you left someone out?"

"What do you mean?" Tim frowned.

"Peter," Casey pointed out. "You never talk about him, or if you do, it's only to complain."

"Well, it's what he deserves," he muttered.

"Okay, so it might be that I've missed something, but... help me understand better; has he done something to you? Or Lou? To the girls? Some type of violence-verbal, physical, psychological? Has he cheated on Lou?" she listed, trying to come up with things that could make Tim loath Peter so much.

She herself had hardly interacted with Peter, but from what she could tell, he seemed like a nice man.

"No, nothing like that," Tim said, "but you don't have to do those things to be a lousy husband and a father."

"How is he a lousy husband?" Casey asked, still not getting any wiser. "Or a father?"

"He's hardly there!" Tim pointed out. "He's always in Vancouver when his family needs him! And Lou and the girls are stuck living under Jack's roof. What kind of man isn't able to buy or build a house for his own family?"

Casey could see why Tim would think that, but part of her couldn't help but wonder if Tim was maybe being a bit hypocritical. She knew he'd been dealing with some issues on his own back in the day, but at the same time, Casey could see an opportunity for understanding, if Tim would allow it.

"Okay, I hope you can let me finish before you say anything, but I have to point something out. And again, I just want to understand better, that's all," Casey said, getting up on her elbow so she could look Tim in his eyes while she said this. "So, why is Peter being away in Vancouver worse than you being away from your family when Jack kicked you out? Or you living under Jack's roof with your family when you were getting started?"

"It's his choice to be in Vancouver. I didn't have any say!" Tim defended himself.

"Okay, but... _didn't_ you, to some extent? Didn't Marion and Jack want you to get some help so you could be around them and the girls?" Casey checked. "And if Peter is always in Vancouver, isn't it good that Lou has that support system with her at Heartland? I mean, look what happened with Katie; if Jack hadn't been there, who knows what might've happened."

"But it should have been Peter, not Jack-" Tim sighed out of frustration. "You know what, I don't want to talk about this. You could never understand; it's too complicated for you to understand," he said and turned on his side, his back facing Casey.

"But I'm trying," Casey said, looking at Tim who was moping.

"Good night," Tim replied, letting Casey know this conversation was now over.

Casey stared at his profile for a while but realized they weren't going anywhere now, so she sighed and turned to shut off the light. When the darkness of the room fell upon them, Casey felt like tomorrow was going to be even more awkward than this day had been.


	102. Chapter 102

After a four-hour ride on a mountainous trail, Jack, as trail ride boss, decided it was time for them to make camp for the night. He'd been in this area before, and it was ideal for putting up tents for a one-night stay. The family they'd brought with them had ridden very little in their lives and were city folk, so Jack wanted to make this trip as exciting for them as possible and showcase the beauty of Alberta to the best of his ability.

The whole crew could see the last rays of sunshine behind the treeline when they were putting up the camps and building the high lines for horses. Jack knew that in the morning, they would wake up looking at the sun rising behind the mountains, and it was going to be a spectacular sight, even for him, who'd seen it happen a thousand times over his lifetime.

Before they turned in, the whole lot enjoyed a cup of warm tea and some sandwiches around the fire they'd lit between the tents. The family shared their stories about the adventures they'd faced already during their trip, and both Jack and Lisa were good hosts and listened them go on and on about things they considered every day life but realized weren't something typical for these people. Jack also gave them tips about the routes they should take if they wanted to see the best scenery while Lisa let them in on secret spots tourists didn't usually find but were worth visiting.

Georgie watched them interact and could see how happy Lisa and Jack were together. Even the subtle hand-holding between tasks and glances they shared while listening to each other told a story about a deep romance. Something like this was actually what Georgie had imagined her life to be when Lou and Peter had adopted her and things had started to look up after for what seemed like an eternity. She'd expected her life would be about going on trips together, experiencing the world around them, and just being happy as an union.

Seeing this family's happiness and the contentment in Jack and Lisa, Georgie couldn't help but think back to the talk she'd had with Lou and Peter earlier. For the longest time, Georgie had felt suffocated, because no matter how hard Lou and Peter had tried to hide their problems, she'd known about them anyway because neither Lou nor Peter was very good at acting like nothing was going on, and the walls in the ranch house weren't very thick.

All along, Georgie had felt like the past was repeating itself, so when Lou and Peter had finally told her about their plans to separate, it had been something she'd feared, but that still hadn't prepared her for the feelings that had come with it. This was the first family she'd actually felt comfortable in and now she was losing it, too.

In the recent turn of events, apparently Peter was now going to be around more because he'd quit his job in Vancouver-Georgie wasn't sure why-but that still didn't mean he was going to reconcile with Lou.

Georgie had mixed feelings about it; deep down, she hoped her parents would somehow start being happy again and get back together, but she also knew that if something had broken once, there was a good chance it would break again, so she wasn't sure if she could keep on living with the fear of something like this happening again-if they ever got back together-because she was already constantly on the edge as it was.

What if what had been the original plan had happened-what if Jack had adopted her? Jack had basically been like a father figure to her already, but she hadn't really known Lisa at the time and then after a while even less because Jack and Lisa had briefly broken up, but now she had really come to love Jack's wife. Both Jack and Lisa were always there when she needed them, and they were very helpful with whatever she could possibly want.

Who would she be now if Jack and Lisa were her adopted parents? Would she be more distant with Lou and the break-up with Peter wouldn't really affect her as much because at least she had parents who loved each other and were committed to their relationship despite having very different lifestyles?

* * *

After a while, when the family was turning in and Lisa was putting out the fire, Jack and Georgie did a night check on the horses.

"Everything looks good here," Jack said after making sure the high lines were tightly secured while Georgie checked that the horses had enough water. "What about you? Everything okay with you?"

"Yeah, the horses seem fine," Georgie informed.

"I meant _you_ ," Jack said, pointing a finger at her. "You've been kind of quiet."

The trip was supposed to be a form of "rehabilitation" for Georgie after her reckless behavior, and Jack wanted to make sure that the girl was seeing it as it was and wasn't planning on doing something she might end up regretting. If Jack had learned anything from his years of parenting and grand-parenting, it was that when things got quiet, that's when the bad stuff usually happened.

"Yeah," Georgie said, wondering if she should say something, but at the same time she felt like she should before she felt even more suffocated. "I just... I keep thinking about how things would be if you had adopted me."

Jack was surprised that Georgie was still thinking about it after all this time.

"You know they couldn't allow it due to my age," he reminded her. "I wanted to help you-and I can't lie, I was disappointed when I heard it wouldn't work, but things still turned out quite all right, didn't they? I mean, you got me in the bargain, too."

He gave Georgie a kind smile, but she didn't seem any happier.

"Yeah, but look where Lou and Peter are now. And the difference where you and Lisa are-you two seem so happy," she replied, realizing maybe there was a reason for that. "But then again, maybe I would have ruined that for you."

Jack got serious quickly. "Hey, don't you for a second think that the reason why Lou and Peter's relationship is the way it is, is because of you," he said firmly. "Because that's not true. Now, you might not have been here when they first got together, but I was, and they seemed like an unlikely match for many reasons. While there were things that held them together, there were always things that tore them apart, too. They knew that, but they were willing to give it a try, and I'm glad they did, because that gave us you and Katie. I know Lisa and I seem happy-and yes, right now we are happy-but that hasn't always been the case; just like your parents, we've had to fight to make this work. I want to believe that Lou and Peter have done their best, too."

Georgie nodded, looking down. Jack felt like she still needed something to pick her up.

"They told me about this... new situation of theirs." Jack figured that was what had gotten Georgie feeling like this. "And I know it might not be ideal, but I believe they're doing what they think is best for you and Katie. It's something you all have to learn to live with. I'm not a fan of constant changes-I doubt anyone is-so I can't imagine how hard it is to go through all these things one after another, but I know that you're resilient and you can do it. And when it gets rough, I think I speak on behalf both me and Lisa by saying that we'll be there for you. The whole family will be there for you."

Jack walked up to the girl and wrapped his arms around her to comfort her, sighing. Georgie hugged him back tightly and felt the tears streaming down her face when Jack's embrace made her feel safe.

She hadn't realized just how much she'd been keeping inside, but apparently it was all coming out now.


	103. Chapter 103

Lou caught the straw of her drink with her tongue as she listened to Vanessa talk about her problems with finding a guy. She didn't mind her friend opening up about her thoughts and feelings, because she wanted to be there for her, but at the same time, the topic didn't help her distance herself from what waited her back home-something she'd been hoping to get a break from or at least go back to with a clearer head.

"My dad wants me to marry an Asian guy sooner rather than later," Vanessa explained. "He always had a problem with me being with a white guy."

"What, why?" Lou was curious. She'd never really thought about things from this perspective as she'd always just dated whoever she wanted, and while there had been opposing voices against the dating situation sometimes, they had never been because of the race of the guy she'd been seeing.

"I think there's still all these social problems within the Asian community about women being with white men that kind of leaves Asian men feeling vulnerable or not 'good enough' for Asian women; I don't know." Vanessa shrugged. "Which is frustrating, because it's hard for me to think about it that way. It's always been about feelings first for me, you know? Of course I see race and I appreciate my roots, but it's not a factor. Like, I'm not against dating Asian men; it just hasn't happened. But if I would fall in love with an Asian guy, it's not because he's Asian; it's because he's... well, who he is inside."

"Huh. I've never realized there was all this going on," Lou admitted, realizing maybe she'd had it easy, even though Jack had always been pretty protective of her and had basically tried to push off any guy she'd ever been interested in-not to mention her dad, who'd never liked Peter. "I hope your dad realizes it's your life and your heart chooses whoever it chooses," she said to Vanessa, but at the same time she was secretly wishing that she could find some peace with that in her personal life as well.

Whether she and Peter were together, he deserved her dad's respect.

"Yeah, like, I'm over it," Vanessa declared, waving her hand in the air and making a gesture that let Lou know that she couldn't care less anymore and this was just her moving on to the next phase. "I can't just focus on pleasing my dad, because at the end of the day, it's not like he's going to be the one who spends the rest of his life with this guy. Like, okay, I admit, maybe he was right about my ex-we didn't last-but we didn't divorce because of the whole race thing; there were other problems. But I feel like me getting divorced was something that... I guess my dad felt relieved about, as twisted as that sounds. Maybe if it had been an Asian guy, there would have been more shame, but because it was a white guy, he's hoping I'm reviewing the situation with much more sense now and doing what he always told me to do."

Lou nodded, understanding what Vanessa meant even though she'd never personally experienced it like that. "I just don't know why we always care about what our parents think. Like... just why? It makes me mad!"

"I know, right?" Vanessa sighed, shaking her head. "Anyway. I don't know what's going to happen in the future, but what I've learned from this divorce is that there is no perfect relationship; it's just about who you want to struggle with. My ex was not that person for me, but I truly believe there will be someone out there for me who makes it easier to deal with everything and anything-and I honestly don't care about his race as long as it works out."

Lou looked at her friend, nodding and taking her words in. "So, how did you know it was time to move on? I mean, it feels like it wasn't a rash decision. Or was it your ex that wanted to get divorced? I don't remember?"

"It was me, but in the end it was a mutual decision. And just because it was me who started the conversation doesn't mean it was easy-not at all," Vanessa shared. "Of course if you're the one who gets dumped, there's all these feelings of insecurity and hurt that often come kind of as a surprise if you had no idea what was coming, but I would say that there are those in this situation as well, just in a different form. Like, am I doing the right thing? Did I try enough? Is anyone ever going to want me anymore? Why didn't he love me more? You know, all that."

Lou could recognize those feelings even though she was only separated. She felt relieved to know they were perfectly normal, but she also wondered if she knew the answers to all those questions.

Should she before it was all over?

"As for the decision... it wasn't just one thing overall, but all those things led me to the conclusion that he was holding all this power in the relationship because he cared less," Vanessa continued. "And when there's an imbalance like that in a relationship, it can't work."

"Do you think it's possible to make it work? Have balance in the relationship after all that?" Lou wondered, taking a sip from her drink as her mouth was getting dry.

"Yeah, probably." Vanessa nodded thoughtfully. "But both people have to work for it; it's not just a one-man job. It might be harder if it was never there, but if it was, it's probably easier. It's difficult to know whether to walk away or try harder, but if you keep wondering about that for too long, I don't think there's a way to know it anymore, not with a clear head. So you just have to make a decision because if you wait too long, your life will be over soon. I know it sounds dramatic, but think about it; we were thirty not too long ago, which means we're now closer to forty than we are to twenty. Then comes fifty, sixty... When we were younger, we couldn't wait to be older just so we could do things, but now everything's going so fast. Before we know it, we'll be eighty years old!"

"God, I need a new drink," Lou murmured at the depressing thought of being stuck in the same situation at eight years old. The last ten years of her life felt like they'd happened within a year, and at the same time, everything from New York felt like it had happened ages ago. It was such a weird thing to feel.

Vanessa giggled a little. "I can get us some. I needed to go to the bathroom anyway. What do you want?"

"Bring me something strong," Lou requested. She knew that it probably wasn't a smart decision, but today she just wanted to be stupid so at least she didn't have to stress about everything for a minute. She deserved that.

"All right," Vanessa said, sliding off from her chair. "I'll be right back."


	104. Chapter 104

As Amy pulled the side door of the barn closed, Ty leaned on his truck and listened to her go on about her progress with Merlin. She was evidently excited as she shared how Merlin had slowly learned to trust her and how they'd eventually reached a milestone together when the horse no longer feared coming to her while she was holding a bucket of oats - she had even feed him from her hand.

"The next step is for me to be able to go to him while he's eating," Amy said, walking to Ty. "Not going to lie; I'm nervous about that, but with all the progress I've been having, I think the chances are now better than they would've been if I'd just started from there right away. He deserves to be free from those traumas."

Ty nodded, trusting Amy to know to do the right thing as she knew horses so well, but there was still something that worried him. This wasn't the first time Amy had worked with a dangerous horse, but that didn't give Ty any ease.

"You won't do that alone, will you?" he checked. "I know this is all great progress, but he can still be unpredictable and it'll be safer to have someone around when you do that just in case something were to happen."

Ty didn't know this only from watching Amy work but also through his experience as a vet. Animals were animals, and no matter how domesticated people thought they were, there was always that wild instinct in them that people couldn't reason with.

"I won't. Grandpa is at a trail ride til tomorrow morning; I'll ask him to help when he gets back," Amy promised, figuring Jack would be able to help her, not only because he was usually around the ranch but probably for selfish reasons as well-he worried about her just as much as Ty. "Hey, are you in a hurry? I need to grab my laptop from my old room."

Ty shook his head. "No, not at all. Might as well come with you; I could use a glass of water."

They walked toward the ranch house and could see light coming inside. Someone was still up even though it was getting late. As they reached the porch, Ty and Amy looked at each other when they heard running noises and high-pitched screaming.

"Katie! Abraham!" Peter's voice tried to tend them, but with not much luck. "Didn't I say no running in the house?"

It seemed like his demands went unheard as the little friends kept running to Katie's room and back to the living room, all while yelling and waving play swords in the air. Ty and Amy went inside, wondering if they were interrupting.

"And no waving those things! You could poke an eye!" Peter continued, especially worrying about Katie, who was on blood-thinning medication. If she got hurt, they would have to go the hospital. Even though he wanted Katie to be able to do things other children did, there were still some limitations to keep her from getting hurt, but for a child, it was hard to explain why those limitations existed. "Katie! Listen to what I'm saying!"

Finally, the yells quieted down, but only because Katie noticed Amy walking to the kitchen with Ty. "Amy!"

"Hey!" Amy greeted the girl, who came to hug her legs. She looked over at Peter, who was holding a phone and looking tired. "Is everything okay in here?"

"Yeah, just... they were supposed to be in bed now, but I can't seem to make them calm down," Peter explained, feeling embarrassed.

Usually when it was just Katie, he was somewhat able to handle her, but now it seemed like Katie and Abraham kept feeding off of each other's energy and it was hard to make them listen and do things.

"Do you need a hand?" Ty offered politely.

Peter put aside his phone and pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling a headache coming.

"No, it's fine. I just... " he sighed, then feeling like he needed to explain himself. "I was supposed to wrap some things up in Vancouver, but I haven't really been able to do anything. But doesn't matter, I'll just... deal with them later," he decided there and then, trying to refocus on the kids. "We were supposed to brush teeth before bed."

He might have quit his job in Vancouver, but there were still some loose ends he needed to tie before he would be officially located in Hudson. It had been foolish of him to think that he could just arrange them while the kids played.

"Well, we can do that, right?" Amy said, looking at Ty, who nodded right away. They could see Katie's father was in need of assistance and since they were here, they were willing to help him.

"Yeah, yeah," Ty agreed. "It's not a problem."

Peter appreciated the gesture, but his pride wouldn't allow it. He'd promised to look after the kids for tonight, and if Lou was able to do it, then he should have been able to do it as well. It was all about learning how.

"Seriously, it's fine–"

"Can you come and brush teeth with us, Auntie Amy?" Katie pleaded, looking up from her knees. She'd heard Peter's requests but had just chosen to ignore them. "Pleaaaaseee?"

Peter sighed. It seemed as if he had no authority over his own child, let alone Vanessa's son, who was following Katie's lead. It was both embarrassing and alarming to notice that he was a lousy father and even worse babysitter.

"Yeah, of course. Let's go," Amy said when she couldn't really get a reaction from Peter-the man just looked defeated. She figured it was best to just help him out so things would go somewhere. The main goal was to get the kids to brush their teeth, not to teach them who was in charge, after all.

"Will you come too?" Amy asked Abraham. The little boy nodded, and both kids took Amy's hand as she started leading them to the bathroom. "Do you have your own toothbrush with you?" she asked from Abraham.

"Yeah, it has rockets on it," the boy told her.

"Rockets? Wow! That sounds pretty cool!" Amy spoke as they disappeared to the bathroom.

Peter looked after them, feeling embarrassed in Ty's presence even though Ty wasn't directly judging him. Maybe it was more about letting himself down over this and because he still felt bad about how things had ended in Vancouver. Overall, he didn't have a lot of good things going for him at the moment.

"I figured one night couldn't be that hard. I mean, I've done this before with Katie and Georgie, but somehow it was never like this," Peter said to Ty because the quiet felt too much to handle. He just needed to let it out to someone who was willing to listen. Ty had been one of the few people in this family who'd always included him in things, so he felt like a good person to share this with. "I guess I've become a stranger to Katie; why would she listen to me when she has an amazing aunt who's far better at this than me and knows how to run things?"

"Hey, don't be too hard on yourself," Ty consoled, turning to face Peter. He wasn't a father, but he knew something about being a child. "Kids, they think their parents are the lamest, and they won't ever listen to what they're saying-even if it's for their own good. Trust me; I know." He tried to lighten the mood. "I thought everything my mom said to me was a challenge, and my dad... I just overall didn't care about anything he ever wanted to say to me. And even with good parents like you and Lou, I think it's just natural for kids to fight the parents a little sometimes."

Peter smiled, knowing some of it to be true in his case too. "I guess."

"Amy and I can just stay a while, if you want to take care of that work thing," Ty offered. He didn't know that it wasn't really a work thing for Peter, but that he was actually trying to sell his condo, but that was a minor detail. "We're not in a hurry."

Peter shook his head. "No, it's honestly fine. I guess I just needed someone to talk to, to clear my head, before I could go on."

"Okay, well, if you're sure," Ty replied.

"I am," Peter confirmed. "Thanks, though."

"All right." Ty walked to the kitchen from the living room and went to grab himself a glass of water.

Peter looked after him, wondering. "What about you guys?" he asked. "You thinking about kids yet?"

Ty and Amy had gotten married a few months ago and were now building their home above the barn, so naturally the next step would usually be the kids.

The younger man looked over his shoulder, a shy smile on his face as he thought about it. "Well, we've talked about it, but not too seriously yet. I mean, obviously it's the plan sometime in the future, but right now things are kind of all over the place, I just started in a new position; we're building our own home... so it might not be the right time for that yet."

He felt excited just thinking about it, but it wasn't something he wanted to do just because they could; he wanted to be reasonable about it, and he felt like Amy shared the same sentiment. It was a whole human life they were talking about, after all-a lifelong commitment.

"You're not discouraged by things you witness here?" Peter asked, gesturing around. Lou's pregnancy had taken them by surprise, but they'd figured they could still make it all work. In a way they had, but at the expense of other things. Then again, Ty and Amy were very different from them and were both located in Hudson, under the same roof-one of the biggest problems Lou and he had always had. "Sometimes people have this romantic idea of how family life will be, but it's rarely ever that."

Ty was thoughtful. "I don't know; I would actually take the craziness here any day over what I've been through myself. Maybe it's not always perfect, but I've seen so many good things happening here-things I wish I could've had-that it actually encourages me more than defeats me. As long as there's love, I feel like anything's possible."

"I guess so," Peter nodded, realizing that Ty was coming from such a different place that it really did put things into perspective for him; he didn't sound like he was taking anything for granted. Things definitely weren't perfect now with him and Lou, but at least there was some safety in this mess because the girls had a family around them, willing to lend a helping hand, Peter thought.

And meanwhile, hopefully he could learn to be a better father on the side.


	105. Chapter 105

After a few drinks, one karaoke song, and a lot of laughs, Lou hugged her friend goodbye and got herself a taxi. Looking out the window as she was driven home, she replayed her conversations with Vanessa. Somewhere deep inside, Lou felt like something had changed in her, but she wasn't sure what it was, and she couldn't explain how she'd changed, but she felt like the changes would reveal themselves to her all in good time. It was kind of a scary thought-she didn't know what was about to come out of those changes-but also a relief; she'd felt stuck for a while now.

Oftentimes, it seemed like people didn't know they'd changed until something provoked that change to come out of them. Lou trusted that she would figure things out later even if she wasn't particularly good at waiting.

Speaking of figuring feelings out, Lou felt somewhat weird that she was still giving any thought to that guy with the nice blue eyes, who she'd seen looking at her and Vanessa after they'd done a duet of "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" together. He'd given them applause after their performance with an amused smile and unbroken eye contact-whatever that had meant.

Now Lou just felt shame. She had probably been so drunk that she'd thought to be a better singer than she was, and the guy had probably been entertained in a way that didn't make Lou proud.

 _Oh well. I'm never going to see him again, so it doesn't matter._

After paying the taxi driver, Lou wobbled inside the ranch house. It was quiet and dark inside, so she flicked on the lights to the kitchen. Lou was relieved that Jack, Lisa, and Georgie were on a trail ride; she was starting to feel the embarrassment over her use of alcohol. No one should see her like this.

As she was pulling off her heels, Lou almost knocked down one of the chairs when she was looking for something to balance herself.

"Shoot," she hissed.

"What are you doing?" Peter's sleepy voice reached her from the living room.

Lou looked around, wondering where the voice was coming from. She then saw Peter's head behind the couch, realizing he'd been sleeping on the couch and his sleep was now interrupted by her drunken noisiness.

"Oh, sorry," Lou said. "I was just trying to get off my shoes but I lost my balance. You've been sleeping on the couch?"

"Well, yeah," Peter said, getting up and rubbing his neck. His hair was messy and he walked stiffly. "Where else would I have been sleeping?"

"What about Amy's old room? It's free."

"Not exactly," he replied. "You know how Katie likes to sleep like a little starfish, so there was no room in her bed for Abraham, so I put him in Amy's room. Figured it was better than making him sleep on the floor."

"Oh, right. Well, you could have just gone to our roo- _my_ bedroom," Lou corrected. It was no longer their room as Peter didn't officially live here, but her room, she reminded herself. Her correction created a little awkward moment between them, and even she was able to detect that despite her drunken state.

"And scare you when you come home?" Peter pointed out, though it seemed like she'd been the one scaring him now. "Don't think so. Besides, I would've had to get up anyway when you came home."

Lou frowned before smiling a little. "So, we can't share a bed? Since when?"

Peter looked a little confused. He wasn't sure if Lou was just seeing this very differently or if she was just too drunk to remember the details or to realize what their situation was.

"We're separated, Lou," Peter stated. "I don't know; I just figured it meant we're supposed to be moving in different directions. Even you said that yesterday. I didn't want to assume it was okay for you to allow me to sleep in the bed we shared when we were married, especially because it wasn't something we'd discussed before you left."

Lou's smile died. Peter was taking this more seriously than she was. To her, it wasn't really a big deal, but for Peter it seemed to be.

"I know what I said," Lou replied, wondering if this was going to be a moment where all of their feelings about that would come flooding out; Peter had been suspiciously quiet about the whole soul searching thing last night, now that she thought about it. "I just meant that... I care more about you getting good night's sleep than any formalities. I know that couch isn't good for anyone's back, so I just figured, why not just sleep in the same bed? It doesn't have to mean anything, you know. We've been married for years now; we can be civil about that."

Peter rubbed his sleepy eyes. "Yeah, okay. Sorry, I just don't want to mess this up, so I'm trying to think what you want and play it safe. I'm just... it's been a long night."

"How did it go with the kids?" Lou asked then, getting a feeling it hadn't been easy for Peter. Maybe she felt a little relieved about that as well; she'd feared it was just her abilities that weren't up to Peter's standards. Apparently parenting was hard generally, and he realized that now, if he hadn't already.

"Well, they're asleep now; that's all that matters." Peter didn't want to go into detail about it; he was just happy no one had gotten hurt. "I guess I have a newfound appreciation for what you do around here. I was trying to get things organized at Vancouver's end, but... I just couldn't do it. I realized my attention needed to be here."

"Better get used to it then," Lou said, feeling like Peter didn't need a thanks for being a father as this was what she did every day as a mother. "If you're really plan on being around," she had to add, still somewhat unsure if Peter was going to follow through on what he'd promised.

"I am," Peter said, sensing Lou testing him, but he was going to prove it to her. He'd realized he wasn't just going to be just some babysitter now, but an actual father who was present for everything, not just major life events or unfortunate accidents. He would see it all, from spilled milk to butterfly chasing and hectic practice schedules to school work.

In a way he was excited because he'd always figured being a father would be amazing and he knew he had two incredible girls who he couldn't wait to spend time with. But after tonight, he realized it was a lot of hard work, not just mentally but physically as well, and he'd never truly been in this position before. Work had always been his way out, but now he no longer had that, and there had always been someone to share the load with him, under this roof, so it had been easier. Tonight, he'd been all alone.

But maybe fatherhood could be the challenge he always craved to drive him forward.

"Regretting it?" Lou tried to read his expression.

"No." Peter shook his head and looked at Lou. "Not at all. Just... trying to get used to this feeling. It's new."

"This is all new," Lou said, walking to Peter. "But we'll figure it out."

Peter looked at Lou, feeling like they'd dismantled what could have been an explosive situation together and were now getting on the other side while being on the same page at least on something. He was exhausted, but despite that, he felt pretty accomplished.

"Yeah, we will," Peter agreed. He was starting to feel tired again. "So, will we sleep in the same bed, or...?"

"Yeah. Come on," Lou said.

Peter grabbed his pillow from the couch and followed Lou to the bedroom.


	106. Chapter 106

Lou woke up to the feeling of a dry mouth. She tried to press her swollen lips together and lick them, hoping to moisturize them and her throat in the process, but it felt like she'd been eating sand before going to bed and wasn't able to do what she needed to do properly.

Recalling she had a glass of water on her side table, Lou reached out to it and dragged her body closer to the edge so she could sit up just enough to be able to drink from the glass. There was a mild pressure on her temples due to the drinks she'd had last night, but thankfully she wasn't feeling too bad considering she hadn't had this much to drink in a while. The ray of light through her open curtains stung her eyes, so she blinked rapidly, hoping that they too would get more moist.

"Morning," Peter's sleepy voice said from behind her.

Lou almost jumped a little. She'd become so accustomed to sleeping in her bed alone-outside of those nights when Katie would crawl in to sleep next to her-but thankfully she didn't lost the grip on her glass or she would've spilled the water all over herself and the bed.

"Gosh, I forgot you were there," Lou admitted when she was able to talk again. She laid her other hand on her chest and felt her heart beating fast, not knowing whether it was because Peter had alarmed her or because she wasn't used to having him so intimately close again.

"Sorry," Peter said, running his palms all over his tired face. He had to admit that he'd been happy to sleep in the bed again instead of the couch, because he'd actually gotten good night's sleep. On the couch, it probably wouldn't have happened. "What time is it?"

Lou looked at her digital alarm clock. "Around nine."

"Oh, crap!" Peter realized, tossing the covers aside and getting up fast. "The kids!"

He hadn't expected to sleep in, mostly because he'd planned to sleep on the couch so he would've been aware of any movements in the house, but Lou's bedroom was at the back, so Katie and Abraham could have easily slipped by them without them knowing. And the bad thing about living in the country was that the doors were unlocked at night as well, so not only could the kids go outside without either of them knowing, but anyone could have just walked in.

Lou too realized that the kids were probably already awake at this point and set the glass of water aside. She grabbed her silky dressing gown from the side and put it on as she headed out of the room.

"Katie, honey?" Lou called out, going for the girl's door. She tried to keep her tone calm, even if she was panicking a little inside.

"Abraham, are you up?" Peter checked meanwhile from Amy's old bedroom.

"She's not in her bed," Lou turned to inform Peter, and both of them started freaking out.

"He's not either," Peter said, maximizing their worry. Not only was their daughter-who'd been in an accident few days ago and was now on blood-thinning medication-gone from her bed, but they'd apparently lost her friend as well.

"Katie! Abraham!" Lou started calling out as she started to go through the house. Peter followed her, looking through the bathroom and the closet next to it. He found nothing.

"Kids?" Peter tried, hoping they weren't playing hide and seek.

The parents didn't have to go far before they found the children in the kitchen with Amy. Katie and Abraham were eating breakfast while Amy was sipping her morning coffee.

"Relax, guys, I got this," Amy said as soon as she heard their calls and realized they were worrying. Instead of looking annoyed or even worried, she had a smug smile on her face as Lou and Peter walked into the kitchen, letting themselves breathe again.

Lou sighed and came to kiss Katie's head. "Oh, thank god you were here, Amy. We didn't realize what time it was."

"I didn't plan to sleep in," Peter explained right after.

"It's alright. Didn't want to wake you guys up," Amy replied, hiding her smug grin behind her cup. "All's good."

"Thanks, Amy," Peter said, realizing his temples were red. Amy had probably realized that both he and Lou had slept in the same bed, even if she hadn't witnessed it with her own eyes, because from what he could remember, he'd left the bedroom door ajar, but when they'd gotten up, the door had been closed. She'd probably gotten the wrong idea.

"Not that I'm not happy to see you, but what are you doing here?" Lou asked, not realizing what Peter had already put together. "Shouldn't you be at the trailer or at least working?"

"Well yeah, but I'm waiting on Grandpa. They still haven't gotten back from the trail ride, so I figured I'd make myself a cup of coffee. Then I found these two playing in the living room. They said you were still sleeping," Amy explained.

"Katie, you should have woken us up," Lou said firmly, obviously worrying about what would happen if this happened again and no one was there. Usually that wasn't a problem; Jack was always up early and reading his paper before Katie woke up. "Something could have happened to you guys." She was once again feeling guilty about not being aware what was going on with Katie.

"It was my fault; I was supposed to be in charge," Peter corrected Lou when he realized what she was probably feeling. "You were still reeling from last night-I mean, from going out with Vanessa," he corrected when he saw Amy's meaningful eyebrow raise, "so I didn't expect you to be up this early."

Lou appreciated Peter's gesture even though she hadn't been fishing for that. Maybe she was more prone to self-blaming after her fight with Peter in the hospital and her first mistake with Katie before the accident. But before she went down that road again, she put an end to it. "I'm just glad everything's okay with them."

Peter nodded, agreeing and feeling thankful Lou didn't want to fight first thing in the morning.

"Is there still some coffee left?" Lou asked then when she smelled it in the air.

"Yeah, I think so," Amy said, looking over her shoulder. "Figured Grandpa might want some when he comes back. And maybe you too. Speaking of Grandpa, I think that's him coming back." She got up and went to the window.

"Do you think you could keep an eye on the kids while I go take shower?" Lou asked Peter as she went for the cabinet and slid out one of the green mugs. She could sense herself smelling, and it wasn't the way she wanted to start off her day.

"Yeah, of course, no problem," Peter said, sitting down beside the kids to see what they were eating.

He was feeling somewhat uncomfortable because Lou didn't realize that Amy had misunderstood what had happened with them and therefore didn't feel the need to correct things, because Peter on the other hand didn't feel comfortable enough around Amy to just do it himself.

The two barely interacted, for some reason, and somehow telling her that she was in the wrong to assume he and Lou had been intimate last night despite being separated didn't really feel like something casual he could say to Amy. However, it was something a sister could say to a sister more naturally.

"Thanks," Lou said, pouring herself a cup of coffee. "I'll just take this to-go."

"You're going to drink that in the shower?" Peter asked, confused.

"Uh-huh. I'm strange; sue me," Lou replied, walking toward the bathroom.

"Anyway," Amy said, peering through the window and seeing Jack and Georgie riding toward the farm. She didn't know where Lisa was but figured she would soon find out. "I'll head to work now, if that's okay with you."

"Thanks for the help-not just this morning, but last night as well," Peter wanted to say before Amy left.

She poured rest of her coffee to the sink and rinsed the cup under the water. "Oh, it was no problem. Glad Ty and I could help." Amy set her cup aside for later use. "I'll see you around."

"Yeah. See you."


	107. Chapter 107

Amy reached the barn just as Jack and Georgie dismounted in front of it. They both looked like they hadn't really rested last night despite trail rides usually being a way for people to relax and get away from whatever bothered them at home.

"Hey," Amy greeted them. "How did the ride go?"

"Oh, it was all right," Jack said, stretching his legs and rubbing his lower back. "But I have to say, the older I've gotten, the more I've come to appreciate my bed."

He walked stiffly, no doubt his arthritis acting up not only from riding but also from doing some heavy lifting as trail bosses usually helped put up the camp (especially since beginners were involved) and look after the horses.

Amy was happy that Ben was going to come and help starting from them next week, because that left more time for Jack to do things at his own pace without having to worry about it.

"Here; let me give you a hand," Amy offered since she had two free hands. Jack had had Buddy carry some of the equipment for the camping and Phoenix was carrying the rest. "Why don't Georgie and I take these this stuff to the hut. Maybe you can get the horses, Grandpa?" she suggested, figuring putting the horses away was a lighter task.

"Well, I won't argue with that," Jack said, smiling thankfully as Amy pitched in.

"Grandpa, when we're done, could you help me with something?" Amy remembered to ask before they parted ways. "I want to try something with Merlin, but I wouldn't mind having a back-up for that."

"Sure thing. I'll be in the barn when you need me." Jack waited till the girls were done taking down the saddle bags and equipment and then guided both Phoenix and Buddy in.

"Where's Lisa?" Amy asked out of curiosity when she and Georgie started walking to the hut. "Wasn't she supposed to be with you guys?"

"She was, but she stayed behind to help the guests untack," Georgie said, making sure nothing she carried would fall down. "It seems like she's really enjoying this stuff. I guess I never thought of her to be... that much of a country person, if that makes sense."

"Well, she might usually be on the sidelines, but I have a feeling she really likes switching it up a bit every now and then," Amy said, based on her experience with Lisa. "How did the ride go with Phoenix?"

"It was fine," Georgie said. "I think he really liked it, too."

"Sounds like you were all in need of a trail ride," Amy figured. She was relieved that Georgie wasn't in such a bad mood anymore, even though her words about Merlin and the root of his behavior problems still somewhat haunted her.

"I guess we were," Georgie said, almost thinking the same thing. "Hey, Amy... I'm sorry about the things I've been saying to you. You didn't deserve any of that. I just... I'm going through some stuff and it's kind of hard for me to deal with. I know it's no excuse, but I just wanted to say that I shouldn't have unloaded on you like that."

Amy smiled warmly to her niece, feeling like a big weight had fallen from her shoulders. "I'm glad you apologized. And I accept your apology," she said as they reached the hut. "Now, I don't know what's going on and maybe I don't need to, but I just hope you know that I'm always here for you. And I really am trying my best with Merlin; we've actually made a lot of progress."

"That's good to hear," Georgie replied with a shy smile. "I just want him to be okay."

"And about what you talked about." Amy felt like she still needed to get back a little to what Georgie had been saying. "Not everything always works out perfectly, but there's still hope for everyone even after things that have happened-whether that's Merlin or you or your parents."

Georgie frowned, wondering where this was coming from. Did Amy know something she didn't? "What do you mean? Has something happened with Lou and Peter?"

Amy realized she might have shot her mouth off with that one, so she tried to backtrack with what she could. Personally, she was happy if Lou and Peter were starting to work things out and it definitely seemed like they were already on better terms. Still, just like Ty had said, it wasn't her business, so she tried to remind herself of that.

"Well, just that... Peter's been here longer than he's been in a while, so that's good. It seems like he really cares about you guys and wants to be here for you when you need him."

"He quit his job in Vancouver," Georgie informed Amy. "So I don't know if he's here that voluntarily." As much as she wished things were going to get better with Lou and Peter, Georgie knew not to trust that false hope, because she'd been burned before. "He's already looking for a place to stay in Calgary, but I guess he hasn't found one yet."

"Oh," Amy said, putting the things in her arms down and opening the hut's door.

As soon as her eyes got used to the darkness inside, she saw a pile of Peter's stuff Lou had been putting away a few days ago. It seemed like some part of Lou had been ready to move on, but then again, just half an hour ago, she and Peter had shared the same bed. Amy wasn't sure what to think-maybe Lou didn't either, because when they'd talked about her going out with Vanessa, she'd been somewhat freaking out about it, but this morning, she seemed like she was more content.

"But... isn't that somewhat better-still?" she asked Georgie. "Him being closer in Calgary compared to Vancouver?"

"I guess. It's just... complicated," Georgie said, carrying the stuff in. "But I'm trying not to think about it too much; after all, it's not up to me."

Amy nodded a little, following her in.

* * *

Inside the house, Peter was collecting Abraham's toys; his mother was supposed to come and pick him up before noon. The kids played in Katie's room and made some noise on the background as Peter fished one of the boy's rockets from under Amy's bed.

"Mac says you can't have that toy; it's his," Katie told Abraham, and Peter started consciously picking up what they were saying, wondering who Mac was.

"Can I borrow it?" Abraham asked.

"No," Katie replied firmly. "He doesn't like to share."

Peter put Abraham's toy inside his bag and then walked over to Katie's room to see what they were playing. The girl had some toy tightly in her hands and she had her back turned to Abraham. It almost looked like they'd been fighting, even though Peter knew that wasn't true. Maybe Katie was just being cranky.

"What's going on here?" Peter asked curiously, making sure Katie was treating their guest well. The girl looked at him with a serious look on her face and then toward the corner. "Katie? Why can't Abraham play with that toy?"

"Because it's Mac's."

"Who's Mac?" Peter asked. Katie pointed toward the corner, but there was nothing there. It somewhat freaked Peter out even though he knew kids had wild imaginations, but in Katie's case there was a risk of something else. He could remember Katie seeing angels before having a seizure in the hospital. This was something they were supposed to keep an eye on. "Okay. What does Mac look like?"

Katie just shrugged and started petting the toy like it was a pet hamster.

Meanwhile, Lou stepped out of the bathroom and was heading to her room to get dressed. She ran her fingers through her wet hair and looked at Peter.

"Everything all right in here?" Lou asked when she saw Peter's concerned expression. Peter backed out of Katie's room so he could have a talk with Lou.

"Uh, have you ever heard of someone called Mac?" he asked quietly. "Like, do you know anyone named Mac? Someone Katie might know as well? Maybe someone from kindergarten?" Peter tried, feeling a little bad that he even had to ask these things, but because he hadn't been around, he still had a lot to learn about the day-to-day.

"Mac...?" Lou furrowed her brow as she tried to go through everyone she and Katie knew, but then shrugged. "Doesn't ring a bell. Why?"

"Katie's calling someone in her room Mac, but there's no one there-except for Abraham, but she didn't mean him. I mean, they weren't playing house or anything like that," Peter explained, shutting the door to Katie's room behind him as he didn't want to worry Katie. "What if she's... seeing things because of her blood clot? She said she saw angels before she had the seizure in the hospital."

That got Lou worried as well. "We should call her doctor and keep an eye on her."


	108. Chapter 108

Lou was sitting in Katie's room and watching the girl play with Abraham while Peter was making the phone call to the doctor. Her skin felt tingly and her breath was somehow shallow even though she tried to keep calm. The girl seemed like herself and was thankfully playing with her friend as if nothing had happened.

When the door opened and Peter peeked in, Lou was nervous. She didn't know if they had to make a run to the hospital again or just wait till something happened. After all, they'd been told that having a seizure itself wasn't dangerous for Katie as long as she was in a safe environment. Still, Lou couldn't help but feel like it was doing some harm somehow; it just didn't feel right seeing her child like that.

"Can we talk outside the room?" Peter asked from Lou.

"But what about the kids? We can't leave them alone," Lou worried. She tried her best to keep things as normal as possible as she didn't want Katie to worry, but leaving her unsupervised right now wasn't an option for her.

"Georgie's here. She'll play with them," Peter said, opening the door more so Georgie could walk in. The teenager stepped from behind Peter and looked like she had all the needed information to help with her sister as her eyes immediately went for Katie.

Lou stood up. It was good to see that at least one of their kids was doing okay.

"How was the trail ride?" she asked, wondering if Georgie was still upset about things. Lou realized a simple ride on a countryside wasn't a solution to all of Georgie's problems, but hopefully it had helped a little to get something else think about.

"It was all right," Georgie said. It looked like she wasn't really in the mood to talk. "I'll keep them company," she continued as soon as she reached Lou. It was obvious Lou was going to worry, but Georgie was ready to step in and help her little sister.

"Thanks, honey," Lou said, giving her a kiss on the top of her head and feeling proud about the way Georgie was taking responsibility. Georgie might not be in the clear yet, but she was making progress and taking part in family time.

When she stepped out to have a talk with Peter, Lou wanted to know about the phone call he'd had with the doctor. He was still holding his phone, which somehow gave her this sense of urgency.

"So? What did the doctor say?"

"They didn't think it was directly something relating to the seizures. Usually people see flashing lights or light figures, like in Katie's case. But I don't know if Mac was like that, especially now that it's already been a while and she hasn't had a seizure," Peter explained. "But they did say we should still keep an eye on her and follow the instructions we've been given."

Lou sighed. "Okay. So, that's it? There's nothing we can do but wait?"

"Well, yeah, but..." Peter scratched his neck. "The doctor did say something else, or more like asked questions about what's going on at home and provided a theory. What if Mac is Katie's imaginary friend?"

"Imaginary friend?" Lou echoed.

Peter nodded. "I mean, it's not uncommon. Children have those all the time."

"Yeah, but... isn't that usually when the child is, like, lonely? But Katie has friends; she has family around; she's rarely alone," Lou wondered. "Why would she need an imaginary friend?"

"Well, I don't think the children always need to be lonely to have an imaginary friend," Peter said, putting his phone away. "The doctor said that sometimes children can create these friends if they're dealing with something difficult, like a move or a new sibling."

"But we've tried to make sure everything is as normal as it can be for her," Lou worried, wondering if they weren't doing a good job with it. "So... what are we doing wrong?"

"I don't think it's that." Peter gave his theory based on his talk with the doctor. "They said that sometimes children whose parents are going through a divorce, for example, can develop this coping mechanism and come up with an imaginary friend to help them deal with their fears and other feelings. It can be self-soothing for them to have this friend around in stressful situations."

"Oh god." Lou was hit with guilt again. "I thought we were doing a pretty good job keeping things from her so she wouldn't stress. But you're saying she knows?" She looked at Peter, who shrugged.

"I don't think it's the fact that she would acknowledge what separation is more than what it means for us and for her," Peter figured. "I mean, think about it; some days I'm here, some days I'm not, and now I've been here a lot, and we act kind of differently every time. I don't know if it's such a crazy thought to think she's confused by this all. Children want stability, and as much as we've tried to provide that for her, I don't know if we've succeeded."

"So what are we going to do?" Lou asked. "Should we tell her what's going on with us?"

"I don't know. I'm not sure how much of this she can actually understand when even Georgie has a hard time dealing with it," he said quietly. "And I don't really even know what to tell her exactly, especially... now that things are still kind of open. The doctor did say, however, that it's not a cause for concern; it can actually help the child to deal with the feelings and when the situation is better, the imaginary friend will go away."

"So, you're saying that you being here is a cause of stress for her?" Lou checked. Peter nodded a little. "But that's crazy. She misses you when you're not here; she wants her dad around."

"Maybe so, but I don't know if this transition has been as smooth as it should have been," Peter replied. "Her accident kind of pulled us together in a strong way, and as weird as that sounds, I think she's trying to deal with having a family together like this again. She's never really had this, when you think about it, not like this."

"What does that mean for us?" Lou asked. "You're just going to go away so she can feel better and maybe lose the imaginary friend?" She wasn't sure if that was the solution to anything; from a selfish point of view, she really didn't want to lose the connection she had with Peter now, but at the same time she didn't like to cause Katie any stress or make things with Georgie harder either.

"No," Peter said firmly. "As much as you'd probably want me out of your hair, I'm going to stick around-I promised you that, and I'll hold onto that promise. I know it might seem like I don't care about Katie's well-being by doing so, but I do believe that it's just the transition she's struggling with. As soon as she realizes that I'm here for good, maybe she'll start getting used to it and the problem disappears."

"But you do know that's dangerous for you as well, right?" Lou spoke. Peter frowned a little, wondering what that meant. "Because if she does get used to having you around, then it means that you have to be around for good, not just until she gets used to it. No more running away and staying here for three days. However things will go, you need to make time for your family and it needs to be consistent. It's not just about us anymore; it's about the well-being of our family."

"I promise," Peter stressed.

Lou was relieved. "Good. I mean, you have to do it for Katie," she added, not even sure why, but maybe to create some distance between her and Peter. It would be tempting to fall for Peter again, especially now that things were ideal for them to be together like she'd always wanted.

Maybe she too was a lot like Katie right now; it was hard to trust this new situation that would have otherwise been their normal had Peter not been away so much. Keeping her distance was Lou's way of self-soothing, as crazy as that sounded. And maybe after a while she would realize that the situation was not alarming after all or a potential threat that would hurt her, but something that she should just get used to.


End file.
